The Profile Of Stewart MacDonald
Just moved back to Ontario and am trying to figure everything about. Don't be surprised if it takes me forever to get back to you on a PM or a review, cause I'm hardly near a computer at this stage in my life.
And holy shit, they fanfiction'd out this site. I guess it's for the better, but I kinda miss the old format. Picture is my wrestling symbol.
YES I KNOW! NAME CHANGE! OMG! OMG! Yeah, the other one was a bit fruity, once I thought about it. Didn't really give credit to the kinda stuff I write. So anyways, not that big a deal, just my real name now. Hope nobody dies of a blood vessel blowing in their brain or any of that shit. So yeah, news, news... I got Smackdown vs. Raw 08 for Christmas, and am pleased. Got a new story going, that might be one of my best. Check out Revolver if you get the chance. In other random news, Jeff Hardy Swanton Bombed Randy Orton off a thirty foot scaffold, how cool is that? Lots of new songs, that I like. I'm on the verge of putting up a new one but can't settle on a goddamn name. Ah well.
Well, just replayed through Turok2 and enjoyed it. I forgot how fun that game was. Definitely a gem for it's time. Now I'm just awaiting the new Resident Evil games and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, which, to my intense dismay, includes fucking Sonic. Damn you Nintendo; Damn you.
(?) Beautiful Randomness
1.It has come to my attention that one of my favourite authors on this site is getting no reviews but from me. Wake up, people! He's on my favourites list for a reason! His work is excellent, and had me hooked right back from my humble beginning upon Fanfiction. KaizenYokoshima has written two stories upon this site. One is a collection of beautiful poems and other things, and another is apparently an enticing supernatural thriller. So give it a read folks, you'll find it was worth your time.
Personal Information
Age: I'm sixteen now. Woot!
Writing Style: Occasionally humourous, but serious as well, and can throw together some good fight scenes. I have a lot of unique characters that are going to be unfolded in numerous stories that will be produced as my existence here goes along. I also write songs, usually of the punk genre.
Gender: Male, as you can hopefully piece together by my name.
Musical Interest: Don't know why you'd care, but heres a list: Sum 41, Avenged Sevenfold, Linkin Park, Atreyu, My Chemical Romance, Billy Talent, Dashboard Confessionals, KoRn, Papa Roach, Slayer, Our Lady Peace, Behemoth, Opeth, Disturbed, Blink 182 (Rest in peace! And Tom DeLonge can die), Green Day, Pantera, some Breaking Point, some Simple Plan, a few 30 Seconds To Mars, Metallica, AC/DC, Nirvana, and Three Days Grace.
Favorite Books: Not many anymore, Stephen King, mostly. Ironically, I like his collections a hell of a lot more than his actual novels. The short stories are always more creepy than the long ones where however terrifying the evil is, it's usually defeated. I love the neat, subtle little stories where there is no protagonistic victory. Where the end leaves you wide-eyed and exalted at the same time. My favourite short story is "The Mangler" A creepy tale of a laundry folding machine which becomes accidentally possesed by a demon, and begins to suck people into it's depths, and reduce them to a steaming pile if red fluid. It can be found in the book "Night Shift."
Media Interest: For shows I like Chuck, ECW, SmackDown, Raw (When I can watch it), Family Guy, The Simpsons, South Park, Life, Prison Break, Bionic Woman (Hey, it's actually pretty rad. Don't judge me!), and Moonlight. For games, the list gets broader. The Legend of Zelda, Shadowman, Final Fantasy's 7 to 10, Super Smash Bros, Resident Evil, Hexen, and Turok, you know, games where you kill shit. I like a few movies, one of my all time favorites being Euro Trip. Also Accepted, American Pie Series, anything with the SNL crew.
Religion: Okay, I'm still an Atheist, but I'm getting a few ideas about what goes on in our universe. Actually, me and my buddy Quin made some interesting discoveries. I believe in reincarnation, and multiple timelines, as well as thousands upon thousands of dimensions and realities. I believe there are millions of different realities for each dimension, where different choices get made to lead a person down a different road each time. This may explain deja vu, where you have this feeling of familiarity that you simply can't place. That's from living through a part of your life you've experienced in a past reality. Now, I'm not saying this is all true, but it makes sense, dammit. Besides, I'd prefer something like this than to be damned to hell for disbelieving the people who screech at me for pointing out that God doesn't exist. If I had to choose between a religious system that favors it's followers only, and one that treats everyone the exact same, I'm going to go with the one that actually makes a tiny bit of sense, not the one that calls me to put all of my faith into some fuck in the sky.
Personality: Carefree. Thats all I really gotta say. There are things that bug people, but when applied to me, don't mean shit. People pick on me at school? I laugh whilst breaking their skulls with my foot. Get flames about my stories? I reply very nastily, using numerous examples of cold sarcasm and references to said individuals mother. (Criticism and flaming are seperate prospects altogether.) People die? Oh well, it happens to everyone. I get hurt? I just laugh at myself and swear a lot. (Don't I do that anyway?!)
Stories
TaintedDarkhurst is like a big graveyard, and it's just starting to fill up with corpses The story of the miserable town of Darkhurst. A shitty town in a shitty county in the midst of shitty Ontario, or so thinks one of it's citizens, Brian Darkhurst. At first, the only thing wrong with Darkhurst is it's only serial killer in history, the Crucifix, named for his brutal post-death mutilation. But things escalate to so much more when Brian discovers an age old power, hidden in Darkhurst's ancient past. With it he must combat the darkness of the modern day, (something much more unsettling than any book) And an ancient darkness who is just itching to walk the earth again... Mature, for language, extreme violence, frightening scenes, drug reference, and maybe some suggestive themes later. On a mild hiatus.
Pages Of Nightmare: "Sometimes the keys to pure power must be cast into the forge, and melted away, for who would really know how to use them?" Book one in a series of books I have been dreaming of writing for a long time. A single, black grimoire, inscribed with thousands of secrets; Of which are the very methods of life and death. This book has been discovered in the ruins of the demon city Isdriash, and upon it's unveiling, the entire continent of Terras is cast into chaos and bloodshed beyond belief.
A one-eyed leader, desiring it's power to cast off the hideous stereotypes that surround his race; Two dragonman brothers, different but alike, who will blindly try and stay on the path they believe to be right; A lowly, spirited goblin footsoldier, absently existing upon the hope that he can make a difference; A hulking king of the sand, whose terrible form hides a passion to end the chaos; A frozen juggernaut, whose only rational thought is to avenge a long dead race; And a mysterious figure, whose intent is unclear. As several protagonists struggle to discover what is right, and what is wrong, a hidden antagonist strives for a final objective, and his goal will rock the entire planet.
Tiles: "Thank you for the home. Something I expected to be mildly creepy which is evolving in my brain into a gripping tale of unbridled fear, gore and hatred. Mysterious occurences in a small country home are pegged off as a disturbing haunting. Disturbing, perhaps. Haunting? Not quite. Hauntings don't devour you. A darkened, invincible force without a name is moving into Daniel Crowell's new home, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to stop it. T, because I don't get too indepth with gore, and there's only mild swearing.
Midsummer's Nighmare (Name idea from Quin): Tommy Hayes has been down on his luck in the good old town of Darkhurst. So after being expelled from Darkford County Composite School, he decides to see the world while he can. Unfortunately, it isn't kind to him. A self-proclaimed ladies man, Hayes discovers that the world is fair; He's treated equally shitty wherever he goes. So after two years of degeneration, 20 year old Hayes is coming home. Eager to end his estrangement with a past group of high school buddies, Hayes takes a small shortcut home. A shortcut called Summer Drive. The nightmare begins as he suffers a head-on collision with the vehicle of the Crowell family, who have come to see the house their relatives dissapeared in. Tommy, believing the accident was his fault, and also taking a shine to 19 year old Fiona Crowell, is eager to assist them in investigating the old house, and walks into his worst nightmare. Tommy Raunchy will have to endure savage corpses, a towering monster known only as The Mangler, torrents of blood and violence, and an ancient will dead-set upon tearing the former class-clown, and anything else, to bits. Forget haunted houses, this town is straight out of hell. I'm going to be a bit bold and give the one an M. Make a guess, folks.
Revolver : Zeck, an uneducated farmer who lives in northwestern Terras, had all he could ask for. A small farm in the hills of Aeth, and his loving and headstrong wife Taisha. For the first time in his life, Zeck is happy. Until it comes. With wings of fire and breath of hell, the dragon. In an instant everything changed. His wife is dead, his farm is burned to the ground. All he has left is a single gun, new inventions in Terras that Zeck neither knows nor trusts. But he must trust it, for his life is not over yet. Not until he puts a bullet in the polluted brain of the wyrm who took away his everything, if it's the last thing he does.
Songs
Really too many to list anymore. Give 'em a look.
Upcoming Stories
Future Songs: These can literally come out of nowhere. I can be sitting doing absolutely anything, or nothing, and they'll just blam! Appear. Magically in my head. Be on the lookout for frequent updates.
Tumik: As this is going to take place after Pages of Nightmare, at a much later date in Terras, I won't be publishing it until all three segments are done. As countries have a way of doing, Terras has entered a technological era. Breakthrough's in science and magic alike are spiralling it towards an age of modernization. However, with the new ideas comes the stirring of revolution, an event unwittingly predicted in the lost book of Omegas. The shockwaves of the rebel protests and revolutionary outbreaks are fabled to lead to a bloody and terrible Apocalypse. Enter Stevin Piller, a dragonman librarian, as he lives his quiet and peaceful life hidden away in the bustling streets of Port City. A hideous past that he cannot forget has shaped his bleak outlook of mankind and his own abilites, and he is oblivious to the fact that the book also names him as the prophetic figure of Tumik. The only one who can fend off the hideous fate foretold thousands of years ago is the one man who wants nothing to do with it. Stevin and his two illustrious companions find the prophecy coming true with each step they take to avoid it. How can a quiet librarian, a cynical goblin cheated from his throne, and a reckless Shaded magister fulfiil the massive tasks ahead of them? Find out.
Isdrian Book Installments, 2 and 3: I'm not telling you jack-shit, so don't ask.
Black Blood: Ferris Darkhurst lives on the planet Geos. It's like our earth in almost every respect, save for the fact that it's in an alternate dimension. He's a normal kid, he likes to have fun, he likes to hang out. But he's got a secret he and his adoptive father Brian have been trying to hide all their lives. Ferris is part demon. Mostly demon, actually. He clings to humanity by a thread, and is occasionally prone to bursts of uncontrollable power. But this isn't the only problem. A virus is sweeping Geos, turning everybody it infects into vegetables... At first. With their minds gone, the people rise up, only to be with yellow eyes and the same sadistic sense of humor. Ferris the only one immune in a legion of darkness, must use his abilities and gather a small group of those he trusts, and find the source of this horror. But the answer will uncover a secret so dark, it may just destroy him.
Piss-Off's
As it states, things in general that piss me off. Take note, that there is nothing I hate, as this is such a childish and vague word that sounds juvenile when applied to things that are normally on a 'hate list'. This section will be offensive and filled with explosive swearing, as these things tend to brush my more, volcanically angry side. And hey! Which one of us doesn't have one? Those who claim not to, to sound as if they are superior and wise are ten times as weak as those who have no control of their emotions. And now, without further ado...
MyYearbook Battles: Now some of you may know about the recent craze that is MyYearbook.com. It's not bad, good for meeting people and conversing with your friends. Then there's the battle option, a particularly fun way of competing with people in photo contests! Yipee. Well, the site is devoted to always changing, so they add this supervote option. You spend some e-bucks to buy some votes, so you can vote for whoever you want. Well, I think this is retarded. It puts shame to the whole concept of voting. What, do politicians go out and buy SuperVotes for all they're buddies when they start losing an election?! (Actually, I wouldn't be surprised...) Ahem. Obviously not. Not to mention some idiot decided to start a massive cult by putting, 'Stunna' in their name. Now if you have Stunna in your name, everyone else with 'Stunna' in their moronic names will hoot like monkeys and jump on the cheating band-wagon. (Personally I have a vision of Steve Austin smiting someone with his finisher everytime I read this.) In short, you challenge someone named Sir. Fucksalot (Stunna!) and you're fucked. No matter if you have a better picture or not. It's kind of funny and frustrating at the same time, just had to get that out there.
Slow Drivers: Fuck, if theres one thing that irritates me more, it'll be on this list. But for now... Those bastards. It says 70, not -89. It's always the fucking old people. Ever notice that? Theres no gray matter with them. They go infuriatingly fucking slow or insanely fucking fast. Never any actually close to the speed limit.
Most Anime: Okay. You've heard that I hate Inuyasha, and I feel I'm not being very specific why. Even a couple of my close friends think Dog-demons and cat-demons are uber-cool. I may bitchslap them with the case for Shadowman 2, tie them up, and force them to play through that sadistic mother fucker of a game, until they can't take it anymore and have nightmares for weeks. I may even slap them upside the head with a fucking Bible (Not that I'm particularly religious, but at least the Bible makes a solid point; Demons aren't cute and fuzzy, their big, mean and want to eat your soul, not snuggle you and purr.)
To be blatantly honest, the reason I despise most animes is because they take subjects that are pretty cool, (Demons, Ninjas... Other random things...) And fucking butcher them. Demons are known for being hellish, horned and evil. Not fluffy, cute and badly bred. I'll admit, a couple times I've watched the show there has been a legitimate demon on there, and that particular fellow didn't have any fluffy ears. Of course, the demon get's killed by this pussy little white haired moron with fluffy little ears, wielding nothing but a sword. Not to mention the demon was forty times the size of him. Of course, Inuyasha's gotta be an uber leet super warrior because he's half demon. See, this automatically makes him better, though the fusion of the two races would only make him incredibly weak. Not to mention that demons cross-breeding is about the most ridiculous idea since Alexander Mackenzie said Hitler had smiling eyes. Do you people fail to notice how whenever a demon is involved in something not stupid and anime, they're usually trying to destroy the world, and all it's occupants? And not make fucking more? But, that's a different piss off. Fuck people. Get some better taste in television.
Moving on, Ninjas- Beings trained in the art of stealth and combat. Notice the italics on stealth. They always wore dark colors, to hide themselves and were assassins 80 of the time. Then we have Naruto, who takes these three feet tall motherfuckers clad in flourescent orange claiming to be ninjas. The only place he can hide is at a pylon expo. They do stupid shit like attack people with women and have a uber leet barriers made of magically indestructable sand that probably causes most scientific experts to commit suicide. Yeah yeah, it's anime, it's not supposed to be realistic. That's not what pisses me off. Some things that defy the laws of physics give some sort of half-assed logic, and I can dig that. As long as you give a description that makes some form of sense. (Like being a corpse that doesn't feel pain because it's possessed.) Not an inpenetrable wall of sand that's magically indesctructible because some bitch named Garbage or Gaahgra says so. Let's not even get into what these shows are doing to kids originality. When I was a kid I would play with my sets of knights and go on adventures with storylines that lasted literally weeks. Hell, every one of my toys had their own personalities. I walked up to the variety to see two little kids and their Mom outside. The kids were throwing sand at each other and yelling, "Gaara sand coffin!" Yup. Things have changed. I'll cover other related things under another piss-off section.
Demon Love Stories: This is more opinionated, but isn't all of this? Besides Inuyasha being sucky, that right there is a fact. Anyways, not only is this incredibly disturbing, but downright nonsensical. A common belief is that demons are created. I like this theory, gives a lot of evidence in their strong and unwavering belief in destruction. And not created as in lab experiment wise. There has to be a few master demons. (Giving evidence to the Grigori Sephiroth) These fuckers use their tainted energies to summon forth beings that represent their cause. Anyways, back to the demon lovin', you must of fell out of a fucking HUGE stupid tree if you can look at my past points and believe demons feel love. It's my belief that they don't feel at all. They have a solemn, ancient duty to kill shit. They don't do it because they dislike humans, they just don't care either way. All they want out of existence is to do this, and if someone asked them why they felt they had to do such terrible things, probably some idiot they were about to end who had watched too much anime, this would be the reaction. The fool would get all dramatic.
Moron: You don't have to do this! Your strong enough to follow your own path!
Morteth: You mistake me for someone who isn't about to rip out your intestines and hang you with them. (Morteth yawns and moves forward.)
Moron: No, wait! Can't you see? Don't you understand the power of love?
Morteth: Not really, and nor do I care. Now shut up and get your arms away from your stomach. I want this quick.
Moron: No! There's good in your soul!
Morteth: Indeed, and I'm utilising it by ripping you asunder. Now, shut your face, dammit.
And we see how that would go. What people fail to realize is that there is no good and evil. Sure demons are hellish, but they don't consider themselves evil. They're just 'doing their job.' Kind of like an FBI flick on acid. What humans believe means jack shit to them, kind of like how the things an ant believes means jack-shit to us. Well, most of us. Now, two demons in love is ridiculous enough, but a demon and a human is pushing the fucking limit to a whole new extreme. Again, demon's feel no love, and humans just think they feel love. I'm not saying a human couldn't fall in love with a demon, (Some retard anime fangirl or some shit.) but it is highly likely the demon won't return the affection. It may return a decapitory action, but little else. That last scene was fun, so let's preview another, this time using Fardurocha.
Fangirl: Oh, Fardy! Your so big and strong and deep! Love me!
Fardurocha stares for a few seconds before stepping upon her skull, spraying crimson fluid everywhere. He saunters off to find better things to do.
I can't say this enough, folks. If you want people to take you seriously, stop with the anime bullshit. If I see one more person who asks me if I like Inuyasha, I'm going to take a page from Fardurocha's book, there. I don't care if you like the show, just don't breathe a word of it around me. Well, there are a few animes that I don't mind, because they're at least original. Beyblade was actually a better one. Pokemon annoys me, but at least it was original.
One-Liner Reviews: This isn't so big, but still bad enough to annoy me. The whole point of reviews is telling the author what you thought, or possibly what you liked about the story. And what could be improved. Don't get me wrong reviews are great. But not. "0 g4Wdz, funneh! Rite more plez." That doesnt tell me anything about your reaction to the story other than, "I can't spell! Ha ha! By the way! I'm laughing cuz your story was funneh! Ha ha!" This mostly happens on fanfiction. I like the reviews that go on to tell you what they liked about the story, and their thoughts on the current update and chapter. These are good. Surprisingly, I even like being criticized within reason. So come on people. Get real.
Forwarded E-mails: There is no end to them, you've probably seen them all. There's only actually about 6 of them, but we've all obtained about a million of them in our inbox each year. I'd like to remove the intestines of whoever starts this shit and strangle the life out of them with their own bowels. (Ooops! Shadorsis moment!) I get all hopeful when I open my inbox, expecting more reviews, to get this shit. And now they're getting sneaky about them too. Like, instead of forwarding them, they copy and paste them, Then send them off with a subject of, "Hey" or "No subject". Ohhh... You got me there guys. You made me accidentally open an e-mail containing some queer love story that will kill me if I don't send it to eighty thousand other people in ten milliseconds. Good one. Now how would you like it if I walk over to your house at night and beat the hell out of you with a bit of wood?? See thats how irritating these things are. If everyone just stopped fucking reading them, they'd just, poof, stop! But no... You want your lover to call you at midnight or prevent a rabid beaver from emerging from your underwear drawer by sending it to thousands of other people that don't give a fuck. Or, even better! A creepy little dead girl who will eat your testicles (Or ovaries) if you don't forward the story of her tragic, (Not to mention entirely false) death to nine hundred people! Accompanied, of course, by a gruesome picture of a decomposing corpse. Jesus Jumped Up Christ. Cut it out, now.
Horse Movies: One of the worse cliche's of modern film-making. If I see another movie about a girl who wants to ride a disobedient or wild horse, I'll dropkick the fuck out of whoever keeps these repeatitive movies coming. Books too, not just movies. Theres no end to them. And they all have these retarded names too. And just when I thought they couldnt get any lamer and more stupid... Theres another one entitled "Flicka" Sounds like some fucking japanese dish. I'd like to know what Japanese is for; "Stop making fucking horse movies, dick-nose." Honest to god.
Racism, Sexism, and Homophobia: Okay, this is a big one, if not as long. People who go around making fun of people who are black, Chinese, Canadian, whatever. Get the fuck over yourself. Half the people who do this are 4 feet tall snivelling rat-face fuckers who need a good tossing anyways. If your ever subject to that shit; lay a good beating on whoevers doing it. I know I do, even if it's not towards me. Sexism is bad too, like saying "You hit like a girl!" People who say this have obviously never been hit by a girl. It's pretty much a compliment. Homophobia, is just stupid. People with differing sexual preference than you, doesn't make them any less human. You can sit down and have a perfectly civil conversation with them, the only people I discriminate against are the people who discriminate against others, by doing this, you make yourselves all the same. Stupid, annoying, and on the road to getting kicked in the face.
Preview Commercials: Whether it be for movies, new episodes of shows, or games, 90 percent of these commercials suck. For fucking one; They completely distort the image of show/game/movie itself! They make great pieces look hideously repulsive, or stupid movies/games/shows look good. For Christ's sake. Two, they almost always give away three quarters of the damn thing! Already it's showing a scene where the main character dies or something, or someone doing something really sweet. Thats cool and all, but the surprise effect would be a lot cooler. I mean, seeing Tony Jaa kick the shit out of an adrenaline pumped freak and not knowing it was coming would have been amazing! (Ong Bak: Tony Jaa) But the damned commercials had already showed the scene and killed some of the excitement for me. So yeah. I hate these for a damn good reason.
People Who Judge Others By Musical Interest: This may not be the longest segment, but it pisses me off the most. How many times do I have to tell people that music is fucking opinion. No band sucks, no band is awesome. There are songs and bands that will appeal to you, and there are those that won't. Different life experience will lead to different musical tastes, and no one has any right to label people based on what they listen to. Usually the labels slapped on people for their musical interest are entirely untrue. I listen to My Chemical Romance, and I'm pretty far from being emo. I listen to Marilyn Manson, and I'm not a goth. Truth is, I listen to a variety of stuff, so it is difficult to slap a nasty little label on me. Anyways, the point is, what someone listens to doesn't mean fuck all! Just because someone listens to a band you don't like, see past that, you fucking morons.Chances are someone in the world thinks the music you listen to is shit as well, so close your self indulgent fucking mouth. I'd say more, but I'm getting angry thinking about it.
Ze End
Jesus, do I have a long enough profile? Seriously. I checked out some of my friends profiles and I was a little scared. I would cut back, but reading this makes me laugh at myself, and thats fun. Well, if you're a masochist and got this far, kudos. You get the honor of reading these words as that I wrote. Amazing, ain't it. Thanks for all your patience, coolness and support through my insanely retarded career here.
-Stewart MacDonald
FictionPress.com - let the words flow
