All right, all right! My friends have been bugging me for ages to update this thing, so I suppose I'd better do it so they can SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE! (You know who you are, people. Honestly, I don't see the point in a profile, but...)
Quick fun facts about yours truly:
Name: Niko! Duh!
Age: 15
Hair: Black (Get this-I actually didn't dye it! It used to be a light brown, but thanks to the magic of teenager-hood, it has darkened into a lovely shade of black.)
Eyes: Brown
Height: 5'4 1/2" (they put that 1/2 in there just to make me sound shorter! I know they did! And if I hear " they're after me lucky charms" one more time, I'm gonna maul the crap outta you, Josh! I'm Irish. I'm short. Big deal.)
Likes: JESUS, Writing, drawing, History, Science, playing violent video games, animals, messin' with Casey. And Mini
Dislikes: Geography, that freaky old guy on my educational science video, MATH, people with overly large egos (I happen to have a huge ego myself, but at least I control it!...I think.), and CLOWNS. I HATE CLOWNS!! (Can't stress that one enough, people. Clowns are the ultimate evil. Really. I can hear you laughing at me and my everlasting parinoia, but it's the truth. And when we're all enslaved by "Slappy the Clown" you'll remember my words.)
Um... what are some more fun facts the populace should know? Oh, yeah, here's one:
Apparently, I have a very high IQ. Mother's IQ was 156 when she was my age, and I think mine is in the 160's, or somewhere along those lines? So..I think that means I'm like a genius, or something. Huh. I hate that word. You cannot define genius. My IQ level just means that I think differently from the other people around me, that's all. No big deal.
I AM A JESUS FREAK. Didn't catch me? I'll say it again. I AM A JESUS FREAK!! Blissfully saved and darn proud of it. The Rock is my strength, nothing else will do.
If any of you guys haven't figured it out yet, I am indeed working with a co-author. His name is...Spoon. For the past three years we've been working on this thing, this idiot child of mine called "Gifts". And yes, Alistair is his hero (patience, dear reader, all will be explained in later chapters...)
Why Niko? Why? You want to know why I've decided to call myself Niko? Well, Niko is actually a pet name for a character in my book (It's a short for Nichole...you avid readers need no more hints) given to her by Spoon's hero, Alistair. I just happened to take a liking to it.
M'kay, I think that's all you need to know about me. So, to pass the time, I guess I'll tell you readers about my wonderful stories!
Gifts
Status: In the shop! Heh, not much more to say about that one. Umm...yeah. As far as I can tell, my coauthor and I are cranking out the ideas, sometimes when we're completely hopped out on caffiene and sugar, so who knows where that 's going to take us?
I'm also thinking of several sequels to this work, so prepare yourselves for a LONG series. Feel free to give up on it at any time. I won't take offense. I swear.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile
Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.
Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.
If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile ;p
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. (The irony...)
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anythiny else for each other, c&p this in your profile.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you have answered a question by saying "Penguins" when penguins had NOTHING to do with what you were talking about, copy this into you're profile.
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If you have ever mistaken a stick for a snake, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever mistaken a snake for a stick, copy and paste this into your profile.
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92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would have soda coming out your nose.
95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you are part of the five percent who are not, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you would rather die than see Hilary Clinton back in the White house, copy and paste this to your profile.
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If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If people look at you funny, and think you are insane, copy and paste this to your profile.
If people do not even doubt that you are different, copy and pate this into your profile.
If you love God with all your heart, and are not afraid to tell the world. If you are 100 percent proud to of it. copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have sibling(s) that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever wondered why the sky is blue, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, c&p this into ur profile.
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If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you have ever played a game of tic-tac-toe with yourself and lost, copy and paste this!
Do I have any favorite quotes? Why, yes, I do!
"Beware the rainbow toad!!" Elf
"Stop calling me an elf!" Elf
"Nobody loves you like your mama loves you..." Fat Man
"Dammit! Stop calling me an elf!!" Elf
"I am not a squid!" Nelson
"What? How many girlfriends have I had?" silence "um, does it count if I had more than one relationship with the same person?" Spoon
"ALISTAIR IS MY HERO!!" Spoon
"Niko! Thanks for not burning me on my birthday!" Alistair
NIKO'S MUSIC
Congratulations, lucky reader, you have scrolled down to Niko's music likes! Now's the part where I reel off several bands and songs that make my world go round! Any doubters shall have their throats ripped--(Script is thrown at Niko) ouch. Sorry about that.
(Warning: Niko cannot spell. Don't shoot me.)
METALLICA: Enter Sandman, Don't Tread on Me, One, Nothing Else Matters, My Friend of Misery
P!NK: Stupid Girls, Cuz I Can, I've Got Money Now, Don't Let Me Get Me, Just Like a Pill
EVANESCENSE: Bring Me to Life, Tourniquiet, Hello
AEROSMITH: Dude Looks Like a Lady, Walk This Way, Pink, Kings & Queens, Love in an Elevator, Ragdoll, Mama Kin
QUEEN: Don't Stop Me Now, Fat Bottomed Girls, Bohemian Rhapsody, Seven Seas of Rhye
AC/DC: Back in Black, Hell's Bells, You Shook Me All Night Long, Black Ice
GUNS N' ROSES: Paradise City, Welcome to the Jungle
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS: Sex Type Thing
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