NEW: Todd Gafferty on Facebook!

Here's the link: http://www.facebook.com/n/?profile.php&id=1366726736

Hey, hey, hey! It's Iiiiiced Tea Junkie!

Age: As old as my tongue and...uhh...I forget the rest.

Gender: Unknown. But you're welcome to find out.

Location: Nome, Alaska. Just kidding. But there's no place like Nome.

Other Info: Drinks at least two glasses of iced tea per day.

Actually, now that I've established myself as an Awesome writer on this site, I think it's time to reveal my true identity. Brace yourselves, kids!

Age: On the far edge of seventeen

Gender: Female. (I'm not sure how obvious that was. I try to write with a gender-neutral voice.)

Location: Massachusetts, the most bitchin' and rebellious of all Your Majesty's colonies!

Other Info: Drinks at least three glasses of iced tea per day. Perhaps it's time for an intervention.

Stories of mine you absolutely MUST read: Quarters, Quarters, and Quarters. I think you get the idea. (READ QUARTERS!! NOW COMPLETE!!) And actually, once you've read that, I implore you to check out some of my older, under-reviewed works, such as Hall of Unsung Heroes or Darkness and The Man. They're not so bad, really. (I mean, hey, I wrote them!)

My favorite collection on this site is the Liam Smith Show, by Jason Gaston, which is incredibly underrated! Nearly every episode is over 100,000 words long. That's more than all of my stories combined! Not to mention, it's M-EFFING HILARIOUS. Read 'em now, or I'll never speak to you again! Well, not like...I speak to you much, anyway.

Peace, Love, and Iced Tea,

Iced Tea Junkie

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

1. Wanderlust reviews

Oneshot. A restless vagrant wanders the streets. Metaphor for humanity. Please read and review.

Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 577 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-23-08 - Published: 7-23-08

2. The Student Bible » reviews

Todd Gafferty, an atheist, creates a new religion just so he can get away with stuff at school. But when he finds himself surrounded by followers, things get a little out of hand. NEW CHAPTER, FINALLY! Please read & review! Also, TODD'S ON FACEBOOK!

Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 19,211 - Reviews: 127 - Updated: 7-23-08 - Published: 3-11-07

3. I Am Writer: Hear Me Think! reviews

It's writing about writing, the Iced Tea Junkie way. Basically, I just rambled onto my keyboard for a while, and this is what came out. Please read, review, and share with other writers!

Complete - Biography - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,978 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 7-7-08 - Published: 7-7-08

4. The Realtor » reviews

How does one go about selling a haunted house? It was a tricky business, to be sure. But number 66 on 6th Street, though modern and unassuming in its three bedrooms and two and a half baths, was undeniably and invariably haunted. Please read & review!

Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,694 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 7-4-08 - Published: 6-29-07

5. Strictly Business reviews

Two executives, madly in love but silenced by fear. A short story by Iced Tea Junkie. NOT a harlequin romance, sorry to disappoint. Oh, just read it already! And review. Yes, that would be nice.

Complete - Romance - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,106 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-25-08 - Published: 4-25-08

6. 50 Cent Peace » reviews

A sequel to QUARTERS, focusing on the further adventures of Charley and Diana. Contains some familiar faces plus a few new ones. Enjoy.

Young Adult - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,261 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 2-16-08 - Published: 11-10-07

7. The Adventures of Clara Clarinetist reviews

Clara Farnsworth has just transferred from a private to a public high school, where she meets an ugly blind kid and gets sucked into joining a marching band. Oh, the horror! But can she find salvation in the pages of an old, musty diary? Please R&R!

Young Adult - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,649 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-23-08 - Published: 1-23-08

8. The Supermarket Saga » reviews

A collection of very short stories, all taking place at the local supermarket. Horny old women and suicidal janitors abound! Please read & review!

Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,373 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 1-13-08 - Published: 3-22-07

9. How NOT To Write a Story » reviews

A redneck writer struggles to pen his first novel, an epic fantasy with every cliche in the book. Read to see what is, and isn't, going through his mind as he tries to come up with ideas. VERY FUNNY. Please read & review! NOTE: Actual story now underway!

Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,553 - Reviews: 50 - Updated: 1-7-08 - Published: 5-30-07

10. Darkness and The Man » reviews

Chet is one fourth vampire, one fourth werewolf, and fifty percent human, with the weaknesses of all three species but the strengths of none. The Man is a ruthless female bounty hunter who goes only by...The Man. They have an adventure. Please R & R!

Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,642 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-11-07 - Published: 6-10-07

11. Sponsored Songs » reviews

Cheer up, whore! The answer's clear. Buy, buy, BUY! And this time, don't forget to leave a review. Chap 35 up! Neopets!

Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 35 - Words: 6,912 - Reviews: 57 - Updated: 10-8-07 - Published: 12-5-06

12. Quarters » reviews

COMPLETE! 4 quarters make a dollar. 4 lives make 1 amazing story. Please read and review! COMPLETE!

Complete - Young Adult - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 26 - Words: 10,931 - Reviews: 47 - Updated: 9-4-07 - Published: 5-19-07

13. For Posterity » reviews

Unfinished pieces & oneshots. A taste of my writing ability. Reviews are welcome.

General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,683 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-11-07 - Published: 6-18-07

14. Insult & Ignorance » reviews

Set in the English countryside, late 1800s. Blythe Porter, our witty protagonist, lives with a rich, obnoxious stepfamily. Her stepsisters annoy her, her stepbrother is hot for her, the housekeeper hates her guts, and what's with that handsome albino? R&R

Romance - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,128 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 8-7-07 - Published: 4-4-07

15. A Love Poem About Punctuation! reviews

I wanna hold you, I wanna hold you in parentheses...

Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 6-13-07 - Published: 6-13-07

16. Poodletown reviews

Welcome to Poodletown, population: 3. Has nothing to do with poodles.

Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,037 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 6-13-07 - Published: 6-13-07

17. The Hall of Unsung Heroes » reviews

It's a superhero dramedy, starring the telekinetic Captain Capable and her gang of super coworkers. Watch as they battle tiny aliens, evil cyborgs, high school reunions, and the feelings within their hearts! Please read & review!

Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,052 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 6-5-07 - Published: 5-31-07