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Bobby Thrill
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since: 12-03-06, id: 548554, Profile edited: 03-05-08
web: Homepage
Author has written 6 stories for General, Nature, Essay, Religion, and General.

The new account of Decollage. Some old material is still there- I may or may not move it.

I don't promise to return reviews. Why? Because that sort of policy encourages the pat-on-the-head, sentence long reviews, consisting of 'I like it, write more', or 'I like it, read my work'. I probably will review your work if you review mine, but not because I feel obligated to. If I review your work, and you want to review mine, great, I'm glad- but don't give me a bullshit review, and don't review my work just to talk to me about a review I submitted to yours. I have messengers for that.

I like extended correspondences, questions, and random conversations. My screennames on AIM, Y!M, and GoogleTalk are bluecattz.


A Brief Guide to Common Mistakes

1. Commonly confused words: 'Your' is possession ('your book'), whereas 'you're' is a conjunction meaning 'you are'. 'They're' means 'they are', verses 'their', which is possessive ('their book'), verses 'there' the place. 'Then' refers to time- 'then I went swimming'- whereas 'than' is a comparative- 'I swim faster than you.'

2. Apostrophes: Denote either possession or a conjunction. For example, 'Lisa's at the pool' demonstrates conjunction between 'Lisa' and 'is'. By contrast, 'Lisa's book' shows that Lisa owns the book. Apostrophes are not to be used to make a word plural. Some words may look strange with just an S on the end (like Nazis, wanna-bes, and foxes) but if you add an unnecessary apostrophe, you'll have people looking around for the direct object.

3. Weak adjective modifiers: 'Rather', 'quite', and 'somewhat' should never be used as adjective modifiers. For example, 'the pool was quite blue', 'the argument was somewhat serious', 'the house was rather quiet'. It either is, or it isn't. Nothing is 'rather' anything. These types of adjective modifiers are a common mistake of beginning writers, because it's falsely believed that it makes prose seem more posh. It doesn't. It sounds juvenile, presumptuous, and it weakens the overall writing.

4. Tenses:

Present: She is walking to the store.

Past perfect: She walked to the store.

Past imperfect: She was walking to the store.

There's a reason third-person imperfect past is considered the storytelling tense. This probably the most common style. Second person 'You were walking to the store' is annoying, and fiction is escapist- if I'm reading it, I don't want to have to 'Be the main character!' First person can be done, but there's the temptation to do it in present tense ('I walk into the store') which sounds awkward unless it's done right. I haven't figured out how to write well in first person present, but I will say this- in my experience, present tense cuts down on the amount of description. Description is key. Stick with imperfect past.

5. Show, don't tell: I don't want you to say 'he was grubby and unkempt'. I want you to say 'his hair hung in greasy hanks over his stubbled face, dirt smudging his protruding wrists and caked under his fingernails. The smell of cheap alcohol and urine exuded in offensive tendrils from his moth-eaten clothing.' Engage all of the senses if you can- don't make it seem contrived.




1. All Manner of Ties » reviews
The strange and often unhappy homelife of two music students and their erratic, sharp-tongued patron, who pretends to be mute and works a job as a drag queen rather than perform in earnest.
General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,249 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-7-08 - Published: 3-2-08
2. Sea Creatures
I sit at the sandy shore, watch while the ocean chews the bones of saints, gnawing out Amen, Amen. I looked, and saw that I had never been found.
Complete - Religion - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 262 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-1-07 - Published: 6-1-07
3. Being a Moth Person reviews
Meredith never lies. A short discersive essay on perspective and the group dynamic from a character's point of view.
Complete - Essay - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 531 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 5-18-07 - Published: 5-18-07
4. Flowers reviews
A tribute to Rozz Williams, from a fan who finally heard his voice after three years of reading lyrics. It doesn't matter than I'm twenty five years too late.
Complete - Essay - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 603 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-15-07 - Published: 5-15-07
5. Dandelions
Big cats of the spring vegetation, littering lawns with their upright carcasses. I hate them.
Complete - Nature - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 5-15-07 - Published: 5-15-07
6. Lithuania reviews
An inbetween place of smoke and gunmetal, left behind by the world. Inspired by a series of photographs.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-10-06 - Published: 12-10-06
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