Hello, my name is Alexander Weaton, or at least that's what it says when I put a story up (which will not be updated regularly, see further down). I enjoy writing but have no plans to publish any of my work unless I happen to write a REALLY good story, since I write mostly for enjoyment of myself and anyone who may happen to read it. I like moose.

"If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why are we singing a song about him?"

Speaking of burritos, I accept and enjoy any reviews and/or constructive criticism. Ifyou have any ideas or ways to improve one of my stories, tell me in a review and I may use it. Though please do not try to flatter me as this angers me and causes me to kick people in the crotch, regardless of gender.

"They eat with their mouths?! Ugh, I think I'm going to be violently ill."

If there is ever a time that several chapters are added at once that means that either I was unable to put any finished chapters up for a time OR that after having some spare time I managed to finish a chapter and then start working on and finish the next one(s). Please note that I don't have any real set time that I can work on my stories, just whatever free time I can find, so new chapters will not come in any consistent pattern.

"Normal people worry me, because no one is actually normal. Everyone has something odd or strange about them, and people who are 'normal' are really abnormal people who are hiding something."

Now about me! Yay! People call me 'Wheaty' which I hate, and I enjoy anime which may show in some stories. I was Editor-In-Chief of my school newspaper, and for some reason everyone thought I was gay. I have no idea why, and it caused a great deal of emotional trauma to have random guys hitting on me. I also hate sleep and view it as an unnecessary waste of time. They say the human body needs at least four hours of sleep each night to maintain itself, so I make sure I don't sleep a minute more than that. Anyways feel free to PM me if you have any questions, or if you just want to get to know the author of a story better! Sadly, if you only read just one of my stories, you're in for a long wait. As I do literally have to work on two or three stories at a time, plus any short stories, updates can be very infrequent. If I don't, I go sane and lose interest in writing for a time.

"That guy has taken so much stuff he doesn't even need drugs anymore. He just lives in his own personnal little lava lamp."

All randomness and quotes are property of their respective owners and/or personalities. See www.FanFiction.net for my fanfictions.