Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

1. Merder

A highly-symbolic tale of a father and son going fishing.

Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 799 - Published: 3-21-13 - Complete

2. Chinaski's Success reviews

Was reading some Bukowski, started to compare myself to him. Now we have this piece of shit.

Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 78 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-29-12 - Complete

3. The Sanguine Dwarf

A magical, lonely dwarf dies in a fire. Inspired by my inability to form a healthy relationship with the opposite sex.

Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,730 - Published: 5-23-12 - Complete

4. Concerns reviews

Just some thoughts I have about my life as I near my 18th birthday.

Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 170 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-9-12 - Complete

5. Ole Yeller Feeling Blue reviews

Written about a night in which I went out into public to see a girl I like, only to end up disappointed.

Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3-31-12 - Complete

6. Not About Coitus reviews

A poem about sexuality, my discomfort with it, and how it pertains to my love life. The title is, of course, a misnomer.

Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3-31-12 - Complete

7. Tanka Tango reviews

A tanka, refrain, then another tanka. Written as a response to the film "Taking Chance" for a creative writing class, it's merely a reflection on my then-inability to write frequently because I'm such a cynical guy.

Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3-31-12 - Complete

8. PENIS! reviews

So titled because I felt like a dick for writing it. This is a sort of anti-love poem, in which I try to reject a crush I had and have. Obviously, the poem failed in that regard, but I hope it may still prove entertaining.

Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-31-12 - Complete

9. Newbery Medal Syndrome reviews

A brief, surreal piece that I did for a creative writing class. Thematically, it's about finding the value of life. Literally, it's about a boy and his dog.

Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-31-12 - Complete

10. Memoirs reviews

A series of memoirs. Non-fiction, each chapter will be dedicated to it's own subject.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,223 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3-31-12

11. Orgasm reviews

A series of pseudo-sexual rants told from different imagined perspectives.

Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 213 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7-7-10 - Complete

12. I Feel Lost reviews

When feeling like life is pointless, attack the military, and compare genitalia to pizza.

Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7-7-10 - Complete

13. My Apologies, It Was Meant As An Insult reviews

Rebelling against standards and expectations, with form!

Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 93 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-11-10 - Complete

14. My Superpower Is Not Breathing reviews

Describing the slippery slope from lover to leech.

Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 57 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6-11-10 - Complete

15. Haiku's » reviews

All of my haiku's, which deserve a file of their own for being short and having the same form.

Poetry: Haiku - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 6-11-10 - Published: 4-7-10

16. Sophomore Year reviews

A rant in poetic verse about the things that made this the worst year of my schooling, ever.

Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 211 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-8-10 - Complete

17. The Ferris Wheel reviews

About my habits, both in life and writing.

Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 43 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-8-10 - Complete

18. Uncle Bob reviews

A story about a cool guy with a dead-pan smile who comes to visit his nephew; lulz ensue.

Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 171 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5-17-10 - Complete

19. Infection Film Review and Analysis reviews

Reviewing the Japanese horror film "Infection" in as pretentious a way as possible.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,027 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-15-10 - Complete

20. The German Girl reviews

A series of jokes about me being a douche who likes violence more than the typical American.

Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 51 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-15-10 - Complete

21. Feeling Cagey reviews

I was feeling panicked in study hall, so I wrote this. I will readily reveal that the "deeper meaning" is: I really have no social life.

Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 39 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-15-10 - Complete

22. Calling Sara Goldfarb reviews

Found poetry/mash-up of some lines from Sara Goldfarb, a character in Requiem for a Dream.

Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-15-10 - Complete

23. Why Digital Photo Albums Are Better

All's fair in love and divorces, etc.

Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20 - Published: 5-15-10 - Complete

24. Antique Modernity

A "transgressive" poem, rife with Lorraine-crossing and aspirations for careers that will make you wealthy but really just middle-class if you're lucky .

Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 134 - Published: 5-15-10 - Complete

25. Step Four reviews

A series of exaggerated anecdotes written with the steretoypical "growing up to become your abusive parents" backdrop.

Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 305 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5-12-10 - Complete

26. Copping Attention

A story about the time I was almost arrested with some friends for trying to get potassium nitrate. I blame the Anarchists Cookbook!

Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Published: 5-12-10 - Complete

27. The Funeral reviews

A funeral, the funeral, it glistens either way.

Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-12-10 - Complete

28. Rejection

Those that are leery of the Hedgehog's Dilemma will know exactly what this was written about.

Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 28 - Published: 5-10-10 - Complete

29. For Allison reviews

An elegy dedicated to the memory I do not have of Allison Owen.

Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-10-10 - Complete

30. Too Small For Primetime

Describing an event that happened a week ago, and my thoughts on it.

Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Published: 5-10-10 - Complete

31. A Black Widower Pines For Sex reviews

A silly series of rhymes stating my position on sex, pun intended.

Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-10-10 - Complete

32. Women » reviews

A series of short stories, all violently depicting my love and hatred for the charming opposite sex.

Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,795 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-6-10 - Published: 10-9-09

33. Jack's First Job The Killer Is Born reviews

An 18-line poem, which places Jack the Ripper in a contemporary setting.

Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-5-10 - Complete

34. Bad Poetry reviews

A 6-line poem, joking about the form and conventions of what is colloquially known as "bad poetry".

Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 33 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5-5-10 - Complete

35. Demo Reels reviews

A short story criticizing American consumerism, Hollywood, politics, religion and everything in-between. Told in film format, it details the assassination of the president.

Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,179 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-5-10 - Complete

36. Media Martyr reviews

A 7-line spoken-word, joking about religion and popularity.

Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 40 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 5-5-10 - Complete

37. Blank Canvas Wrists reviews

A 10-line free verse, parodying my suicidal tendencies and worship of Art.

Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Parody/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 45 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-5-10 - Complete

38. The Existential WifeBeater reviews

A 4-line epigram, inspired by the painting "The Scream".

Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 24 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5-5-10 - Complete

39. The Vision of Adolescence reviews

A 19-line poem paraphrasing some of the wonderful things I've heard from my peers.

Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-29-10 - Complete

40. The Office God reviews

A 21-line poem, cracking jokes about corporate existence.

Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-29-10 - Complete

41. Strange Tastes in Women

An eight-line poem of no importance.

Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23 - Published: 4-29-10 - Complete

42. Love?

A nine-line poem questioning my ability to be infatuated with a new girl every other week and how this affects me.

Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 39 - Published: 4-8-10 - Complete

43. Somatic Expression reviews

A four-line poem describing my views of drugs and the reasons they're taken and hated in an abstract, pun-laden style.

Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4-8-10 - Complete

44. Paying the Bills

A 14-line poem, a satire of sorts, expressing the hopelessness of being a career writer.

Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 74 - Published: 4-8-10 - Complete

45. Spitting Image reviews

A 15-line poem describing my relationship with or perspective of my late father.

Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 74 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-8-10 - Complete

46. Broken Ballerina reviews

A seven-line poem describing a sort of fantasy. You could call it a love poem, but I call it a hormonal expression.

Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4-8-10 - Complete

47. I Am Man reviews

A six-line poem written out of jest about modern man, inspired by Fight Club in message.

Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 29 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4-7-10 - Complete

48. Pushing My Luck reviews

A four-line poem explaining my position as a wannabe-poet.

Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-7-10 - Complete

49. An Analysis of an EE Cummings Poem reviews

kitty', sixteen,5'1",white,prostitute" is todays subject. Gather round, children, as I explain it to you!

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 856 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-25-10 - Complete

50. The Complex European

A satirical view of the notion that America is great, but moreso that an American can become a "complex European". I used puns and exaggerated cliche's to get the point across, but I failed to provide adequate description; a failure of a story.

Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,091 - Published: 3-21-10 - Complete

51. More Aptly Titled 'Why I Write' reviews

A brief essay detailing the why and how of my literature.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 362 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11-19-09 - Complete

52. Against Social Darwinism reviews

A rambling essay written against forced social darwinism, also known as eugenics.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 583 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10-10-09 - Complete

53. Reading IS Important reviews

On reading, writing, creativity and free thought. T for language.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 410 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-11-09 - Complete

54. Time To Force My Beliefs On You! reviews

Essay on the treatment of personal opinions and "hatred speech," particularly on deviantART. T for language.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 705 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1-11-09 - Complete

55. Popularity Fucked Me reviews

Popularity has raped greatness and produced worship. I'm here to point that out. T for language.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 562 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-9-09 - Complete

56. RE: Human Stupidity reviews

On dA, I found an article about how "Everyone is stupid." It made my blood boil, so I wrote a response. Here it is. T for language.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,025 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-4-09 - Complete

57. Roses reviews

I wanted to write a piece about cancer and roses, while doing a bit of a literary experiment with mood. A two-piece about a dying lover, and the resulting emotional upset. K for some language.

Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,141 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-3-09

58. Clairvoyage reviews

About time travel and seeing the future, and how monumentally stupid and/or painful it might be. T, just because it's very mature, I think.

Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 799 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1-2-09 - Complete

59. Saint Valentine's Day reviews

Satire on the romantic holiday.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 184 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-31-08 - Complete

60. New Years 08 reviews

My resolutions. K-plus for language.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 265 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-30-08 - Complete

61. To The Extreme! reviews

I got called an extremist a week ago. So I thought about extremism. Here are my results. K-plus for language!

Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 650 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-30-08 - Complete

62. Masculinity Is Bullshit reviews

Rob is tired of hearing that he's "weird" because he doesn't like girls- or, according to him, ANYTHING! Not even dudes! So now, he's going to rant about gender roles, particularly masculinity! Put on a cup, because this one goes straight for your nuts!

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 237 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12-29-08 - Complete

63. No News Is News reviews

Rob quickly screams about how modern "news" sucks! K for language.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 229 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-29-08 - Complete

64. Sex Sells Cells reviews

Stop whining about sex! And stop being so damn sexy, ladies; it proves you're asking for it! T for language and themes.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 201 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-29-08 - Complete

65. Megrim reviews

A brief piece, inspired by Calvin & Hobbes, and my own delusions of grandeur, about a boy who believes he has the brain of a god. K for themes.

Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 293 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-24-08 - Complete

66. Confidence Cannibalism reviews

Rob rants about the hypocritical views America has towards self-esteem, arrogance and self-hatred. RIDE 'EM, COWBOY! K for language.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 441 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-23-08 - Complete

67. Be Patient reviews

I feel sick... Rob whines about patience and his bad day! K for language.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 390 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-23-08 - Complete

68. Teenagers! reviews

I can't stand stupid prejudice at teenagers, and I can't stand stupid teenage behavior! K for language!

Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 477 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 12-22-08 - Complete

69. What Is Love? reviews

Rob rants about love being made into a commercial product by conformist idiots! WHAT FUN! K for language.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 805 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-22-08 - Complete

70. Going Down? reviews

Inspired by No Exit and my own novella These Hands. A man wakes up in an elevator; Going down? T for mild violence, language and themes.

Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 936 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12-20-08 - Complete

71. pILLs reviews

A brief allegory about anti-depressants.

Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 597 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-20-08 - Complete

72. Janitorial Duties

Inspired by Franz Kafka and Edgar Allen Poe, about a mysterious janitor and his odd sound-producing closet. T for language, racism.

Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,238 - Published: 12-19-08 - Complete

73. Model Behavior

A short piece on television and superficiality. In a dystopian future, television and fiction are the main sources of entertainment; Model Behavior, a model-fighting program, is dominant. T for violence, language, themes.

Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 959 - Published: 12-19-08 - Complete

74. Playing War

Inspired by a scene in the novel "The Giver", about war, and children's innocence and ignorance.. T for its theme.

Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 391 - Published: 12-16-08 - Complete

75. Pat Yourself On The Back reviews

Rob rants on sucky reviews. Naughty language; K

Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 517 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-12-08 - Complete

76. The World Is Mine reviews

I was posed the question: What would you do if you were God? This is my answer. T for themes and some language.

Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 830 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12-10-08 - Complete

77. Somatopia reviews

Inspired by Brave New World; a philosophical short story involving the horrors of a loner, hedonistic lifestyle. Review and I'll review! Not my best work; I need to write more. T for themes.

Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,416 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12-10-08 - Complete

78. The Darkness reviews

inspired by the philosophy of 'Lord of the Flies', I decided to write this little horror piece. Enjoy.

Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,430 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-24-08

79. PURGE reviews

A corpse has risen, fuelded by the souls of the damned. Everyone he kills rises one night later, possessed by their rown soul. Only the pure and unsinning survive. Rated M for themes, language, gore. Chapter 1 is in the works.

Fiction: Horror - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 954 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-19-07

80. Judgment Day reviews

More of a prologue to another story I'm working on. A corpse has risen and begins to kill. Oneshot. Rated T, but there are some cravings, so avoid if you dislike such content.

Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 954 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-12-07 - Complete