Hi, my name is Mandy.
I have changed my pen name. I came up with it when looking at a picture of an angel. That day my mother had said that I was like a fallen angel. So I imagined myself with black wings and red tears, the red tears are from the needless pain she puts me through and the wings to show that I'm not in anyway like an good angel.
I am often looked down on because of my dark vews of life. I have not much fath in humanty what ever that is. I'm losing my grip on what hope I did have and now all I seem to do is complain. So for those of you who find that I'm a winey bitch I'm sorry but I can't help that.
I tend to fight with everyone that is not a friend. I hate knowing that I have to go home at the end of the day. I write stories and have resatly devaloped (if that's wrong I dont care too much) a talant to poem's. I have always found myself to be weak and hate myself for that. Most of the stuff I put up will be dark. My poem's darker then my stories. (Please excuse any spelling mistakes spelling is just one of the many things that I'm bad at.)
I have two things that keep me togther...Music I love music anytime I feel trapped or lost I turn my music on loud. I love Metal, Gothic Rock, Punk some J-Pop and some Pop. I have always used music as a away to escape from whatever is hurting me. The other thing is writing. I use writing as a way to get my feelings out and people tend to listion. Also writing takes me away from this wrold.
I am constontaly compeationg with my brother to get my parents to see that I exist. My brother is a straight A studen and I'm always having to try and get the same mark's as him so that my parents will see me too. I am only ever getting in trouble and never being loved by them, so now I just keep to myself.
I just seem to get darker and darker as I get older and I'm careing less and less about life and who I am. I have all ready lost my Boyfriend over my darkness but somehow I don't care anymore. I have always had a thing about the darkness and always hated the light. I don't undersand why...but I don't care anymore and I'm sick of trying to be someone I'm not and so I have desided that I'll just be myself and wherever that leads me I'll go.
~Mandy
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