What to know about said poet…well…not much actually…ok, slightly more than not much...
Real Name? Who cares…not me personally...I actually don't like it...don't ask me why I just don't...
Age? College-ish...
Gender? Definitely not a guy…last time I checked…
Where am I at? I speak English…that should narrow it down…just a bit…
Where I live? Dead center of nowhere…literally…
Where’s my place? Downstairs sitting in front of this computer screen…otherwise between you and somebody…
What am I doing? Attempting to force myself to stop thinking...seriously, I think way too much...
My Mood? Um...Usually it's bad f you have to think about it...
Me? Well, there’s not a whole lot to know really. More like, not more than I would want to post. Anyway, I’m just your normal average teenager. Heh, normal, yeah right. I’m anything but normal. Besides, there’s no such thing as normal; to me normal doesn’t even exist. And if that’s true then I don’t know why I try so hard to be something that I'm not nor will ever be able to be, normal. I’m just a lost, lonely soul trying to survive in this vicious world. I’m just trying to live through the tortures of life and at the moment. Sometimes...I should say most of the time...I can’t handle the pressures of life and all of the obstacles that are thrown at me and I find it harder and harder to go on. Why I’m still here, don’t ask me, I have no clue as to why I hold on. Maybe I’m just afraid of letting go. Afraid? Me? No, not afraid. Scared shitless would be more like it. I’m not one to admit that I get scared but no one really wants to admit that their afraid of anything. But I can say I do have fears just like everyone else and I’m not letting that stop me from anything. So I don’t want to die. It’s not something I should be ashamed of so I don’t see why I’m so ashamed of living. All that matters is that I’m still here though, even if I don’t know why. I just haven’t found my purpose yet, if I even have one.
Yes, I know, I am very pessimistic. I’ll admit it, I’m a pessimist. I can’t remember the last time I’ve said anything positive purposely. I will say though that I have and I am trying harder but failing miserably. I really don’t think I could be optimistic if my life depended on it. I’m also a procrastinator but who isn’t sometimes. I'm very sarcastic and I love sarcastic humor, it goes will with pessimism. It’s the best kind of funny out there besides random stupidity, which is my other favorite humor. Also the word happy and anything related to the word that means the same thing doesn't exist in my vocabulary. It has been, however, replaced with the word insanity and anything related to that word. Rather than feeling happy, it's more like feeling satisfaction really. I don't do happy...period.
Also I'll have to admit that I am indeed a perfectionist. I try not to be but I just can't help it. Even this page bugs me because it doesn't seem good enough for me but it's the best that I can do. I'm usually more likely to be a perfectionist when it comes to my writing. Anything else could be less than perfect but it doesn't mean I don't try to get it as close as I can get. Besides, perfect doesn't even exist to me either. I still don't know why I try so hard to be something I'm not, and in my eyes, doesn't exist. Maybe I hate my imperfections so much that I just want to be the opposite of what I am, but then I'm only lying to myself and everyone around me and that's just not worth it. Trying to be perfect only makes you crazy and it's true. I just wish people would be able to see my imperfections and accept them and me for who I am rather than just criticize me for it. But that is something that will never happen. Until the day that Hell freezes over or pigs fly, no one will ever stop judging people for stupid little things like that
Well, that’s about it. I really don’t know what else to put. Otherwise, my work comes straight from the heart and most of it is about real life and the many things that happen throughout it like different issues and problems that I’ve gone through or am currently facing. You’ve heard enough about me by now though so I hope you can enjoy and appreciate my work. Don’t be afraid to comment/critique my work and if you review I will return the favor.
Due to current reconsiderations, I will no longer be posting any more poetry until I have legally copywritten my work. I'm sorry for this sudden decision, but I am currently working on this issue.
Sincerely yours, Not That Depressed (a.k.a. SWF)
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