Greetings to you all!
About Me
Answers to: Susie / Susan (reluctantly) / Sooz / Child / Girl / Auaie
Age: 16
Height: 5'4
Weight: Yeah... not telling you. It's between 8 stone and 10 stone
Hair: Brown with some bright red highlights that seem to have gone vaguely orange. It refuses to go fully into a ponytail and instead hangs rather undashingly in my face.
Eyes: Two
Nationality: Scottish. But I have English blood and an obsession with the Irish accent and Italian football players.
Other Stuff
I'm in my fifth year of secondary school, which is my second last (I could drop out this Christmas, but I don't want to). I'm doing my Highers this year, which are basically the most important exams of my life, so I'm a bitty scared.
I love music, and I play piano, clarinet, percussion, sax (sort of), guitar (sort of) and I sing. I listen to almost any music apart from dance.
I have an account on Fanfiction.net as well (http://www.fanfiction.net/u/642029/ ) where I have several lovely fics if you feel like reading them.
The Seven Wonders Of MY World...
1. Bohemians. I like to think of myself as one, but I'm more of a borderline hippy.
2. Reading and writing, principally on Fanfiction and Fictionpress, but sometimes just in notebooks that I keep all over my room.
3. Bright colours. What can I say? I wear a bright orange trench coat, green jeans, two colours of eyeshadow, a selection of rainbow tshirts, spotty vans, many colourful hats, and orange converse (not together though. I like to think I know how to co-ordinate)
4. Scotland. It's my home country, and everyone's really smart and friendly and cool! And I DON'T own a kilt and 'och aye the noo' means 'oh yes now'. I don't know why people think we say that all the time. Come visit us.
5. Stand-Up Comedians - Eddie Izzard, Bill Bailey, Ed Byrne, Russel Howard, Jimmy Carr, Dara O'Brien... how they make me lol.
6. Music. Especially happy songs. Put On A Happy Face, Rhythm Of Life, Dreaming Of You, Face The Music, Take Me Or Leave Me, La Vie Boheme... you get the picture.
7. Talking crap - I can't help it. I tak crap all the time, and I tend to analyse metaphors until some passer-by finally snaps and punches me.
...And Seven Things That Suck
1. Neds. Likely you haven't heard of them, unless you're Scottish, but I'll bet you know some. In England they're called chavs. They're the ones (usually young and male) who are kind of thick and go about drinking and smoking and smashing things up. Google them.
2. Mary Sues. Grr. Being fiction reader/writers, you'll probably have encountered many of these. They're original female characters that are annoyingly perfect. Pretty, smart, tough, cool... you get the picture. They suck. Don't create these monstrosities! You have been warned!
3. High School Fecking Musical. And there's going to be a third one! And what's worse than being stuck in the world during the peak of HSM? Having to look after 25 eight year olds during the peak of HSM (I look after Brownies)!!! I swear if I hear that doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-woah-oh-oh-oh song one more time I WILL disembowell someone with a teaspoon!
4. Kippers. Boney, stinky, fishy. Need I say more?
5. Exams. I have five to sit this year (English, biology, history, modern studies and music) and I need to pass them. I got a C in maths last year. I hate maths. In fact...
6. Maths. Who cares about calculus / trigonometry etc? It's pointless, unless you're a mathematician or an engineer (apologies to my sister who's taking all 3 sciences and wants to be a physician or an engineer. Rather you than me, my friend).
7. Onions. Eeeew! Slimy!
The Top Ten Greatest Songs Ever (For this month...)
1. Umbrella - Biffy Clyro
2. Rockstar - Nickleback
3. La Vie Boheme - Rent
4. Don't Stop Me Now - Queen
5. Your Horoscope For Today - Weird Al Yankovich
6. James Bond - Scouting For Girls
7. Four Little Diamonds - Electric Light Orchestra
8. The Boy With The Arab Strap - Belle and Sebastian
9. Rock and Roll - Led Zeppelin
10. Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones
Quotes
~~ "I went camping once, and got into an argument with a girl friend in the tent. This is a really bad place to get in an argument, because I walked out and attempted to "slam the flap." How are you supposed to express your anger in this type of situation? Zipper it up really quick?" ~ Mitch Hedberg
~~"If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic." ~ Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
~~"Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"?" ~ Jerry Seinfeld
~~"At the end of my letters I like to write "PS: This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated." ~ Mitch Hedberg
~~"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy." ~ Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
~~"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations I've travelled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down." ~ Mitch Hedberg
~~"We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me." ~ Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
~~"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is." ~ Ellen Degeneres
~~"If you're going to criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critisize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes." ~ The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants
~~"I think, instead of cancelling debt, Africa should ignore debt. They should just say fuck off! What're we going to do? Repossess Africa?" ~ Jo Brand
~~"I don't like oysters. I like my food dead. Not sick, not mauled, dead!" ~ Not a clue
~~"Don't take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway" ~ Em... a man, I think
~~"I think transvestites woud be great in the army! We all know that the main element of attack is the element of surprise. Well, what would be more surprising than the first battallion transvestive brigade paratrooping into dangerous territory with FANTASTIC makeup... and a FANTASTIC gun..." ~ Eddie Izzard
~~"Charles? CHARLES? What are you doing with that pillow?" ~ Hugh Dennis (impression of the Queen)
And That's It
If yu've got this far, you clearly have a very long attention span. Or just no life. Either way, congratulations.
Please review my stories and poems. Who knows? I may review yours. If I like them.
JAR
FictionPress.com - let the words flow
