Why hello there.

If by some reason you stumbled across my page... cool.

Actually, not cool.

Pretty much useless since there's nothing of interest here.

So I guess I should now apologize for wasting five seconds of your time.

Why are you still reading? I already apologized.

It's your own fault now... I'm not taking responsibility for any more time wasted.

Really?

Why do you even bother?

Okay, I should end this now before things go too far.

I'm doing you a favor here, so you should just stop now.

You're not very good at following directions, are you?

Well, neither am I. I've gotten into quite a bit of trouble at school for it.

But I digress.

My point is...

What was my point again?

Oh, right.

My point is, you should stop reading because this is doing nothing good for either of us.

The more you read, the more I have to keep thinking up witty comments to put.

And I'm not very witty. These aren't very funny, are they?

Well, I don't know. I'm not an expert comedian.

Are you?

You should drop me a line. If you are, I mean.

I could really use the help.

Y'know, at one point, I really wanted to be a stand-up comedian.

Everyone laughed at me when I told them this.

But that's a good sign, isn't it? I'm already off to a great start.

So what's the deal with airline food anyway?

Sorry. I had to.

Hey, it's your own fault anyway for keeping on reading.

I guess I should include a warning here.

WARNING: This profile may include terrible jokes and unfunny humor. May induce nausea, uncontrollable vomiting, and utter disgust at the current state of the human race. Continue at your own peril.

That's a bit harsh, though. I'm not that bad.

Am I?

Alright, alright! I get it. Jeez.

I'm going to stop now. You hurt my feelings.