Raspberry Ice-T

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email	: Email
since	: 05-02-07, id: 566364, Profile Updated: 06-19-09
country	: United States

Author has written 29 stories for Spiritual, Religion, General, and Haiku.

Bio:
I was born with a mustache on my stomach that was removed while I spent the forty years of my life on Pluto. I returned because Pluto decided to deny its own existence. He removed himself from all future charts of the planets of the Solar System using his time machine that travels backwards. I'm now twenty-two years younger and have nothing to do but type left-nostrilled, even though I'm right-thighed. This little disorder caused much distaste in my hair follicles. Every few months, they decapitate themselves despite my arguments. Now, I'm breathless from all the screaming and I can barely revolve around the Sun on my own anymore. Though, I'm still forced to inflate my own food.

For those of us that are sick of labels and stereotypes, paste this into your profile. Bold the ones that apply to you, and add any that you want.

I'm a CANTELOUPE, so I MUST be bitter.

I'm a HELECOPTER, so I MUST be slow.

I'm a SPONGE, so I MUST wear tighty-whities.

I live in a REFRIGERATOR, so I MUST not eat salt.

I raise ROCKS from the dead, so I MUST not like dirt.

I'm GREEN, so I MUST not have a last name.

I'm SEVENTEEN, so I MUST be a prime number.

I wear SOAP BUBBLES, so I MUST have been in a commercial.

I'm BOLD, so I MUST not be italicized.

I always LIE, so this MUST not be the truth.

I'm a HORSE, so I MUST have a long face.

I'm a LONG FACE, so I MUST have a horse.

I'm MARTIAN, so I MUST not have fingernails.

I'm STINKY, so I MUST not smell good.

I'm a THERMOMETER, so I MUST have been in people's mouths.

I'm not SARCASTIC, so I MUST not bold this one.

I wear ROUND GLASSES, so I MUST have a lightning-bolt shaped scar.

I'm a DRINKING PROBLEM, so I MUST have Irish.

I'm a MICROWAVE, so I MUST be easy.

I'm a SPORK, so I MUST have identity issues.

I'm a CARROT, so I MUST be jealous of oranges.

I'm a PARENTHESE, so I MUST open or close an after-thought.

I'm an INCANDESCENT LIGHTBULB, so I MUST be wasting electricity.

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1. My muse
My dolphin-flavored toaster tart knows I'm sorry. Why don't you?
Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-30-09 - Published: 6-30-09

2. Listen
My mind wouldn't let me touch this poem.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-17-09 - Published: 6-17-09

3. b n d t reviews
I like my tea with you in it.
Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-9-09 - Published: 6-9-09

4. plastic reflections of indented popsicles
this is for real.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Western/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-9-09 - Published: 6-9-09

5. Hippocrisy reviews
Those darn sea-mooses!
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6-8-09 - Published: 6-8-09

6. Treasure Basket
Crap! It got knocked over, and all the rhinoceroses stole the cash!
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 199 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-5-09 - Published: 6-5-09

7. Microwave Grave reviews
Porous power pours pork porridge.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-2-09 - Published: 6-2-09

8. Dropping the Soap
My cramped is hand.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 201 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 5-31-09 - Published: 5-31-09

9. Fourever down never getting up
this is about two teacups that don't get along
Haiku - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 31 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 5-31-09 - Published: 5-31-09

10. Magnetic Field of Dreams reviews
Do penguins dream about talking to humans? Find out in this poem.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 205 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 5-28-09 - Published: 5-28-09

11. Binary Haiku reviews
Only robots can read this haiku. But don't worry, I put in a translation.
Haiku - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-28-09 - Published: 5-28-09

12. Counting down with Amnesia reviews
Tree fahv sicks seffen ate
Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-28-09 - Published: 5-28-09

13. Bacteria go to Court reviews
Tricky little things those flamingos be.
General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 186 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-28-09 - Published: 5-28-09

14. Ballad of the Yodeling Congressman » reviews
My eye lies while I like Thai pie.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 219 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-26-09 - Published: 5-25-09

15. Gone Returning Be Back Later reviews
This poem is an ode to all the brave men and women of the taxidermy companies.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 5-24-09 - Published: 5-24-09

16. French Haiku reviews
This description and haiku are both in French. If you don't speak French, then you shouldn't be able to read this. If you do speak French, don't read the haiku; you won't get it.
Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-24-09 - Published: 5-24-09

17. Conascending reviews
As long as there's a dance floor
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 177 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-24-09 - Published: 5-24-09

18. Give me freeverse or limit me to 17 syllables! reviews
Haikus are easy/They can be about nothing/An alligator. Note: This doesn't necessarily reflect my true feelings about haikus.
Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 5-23-09 - Published: 5-23-09

19. Way of the Constellations reviews
If thrifts in lifts tilt pits, kids insist in fits.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 214 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 5-23-09 - Published: 5-23-09

20. Large Animals and their Small Nature
A pantoum boat. A pontoon poem.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 114 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 5-23-09 - Published: 5-23-09

21. Very like ox
Old goats row boats though no floats show motes
Complete - Haiku - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 5-22-09 - Published: 5-22-09

22. Heads Up, Four Down reviews
Where the rain thoroughly drowned the carpeted staircase is where she met her raccoon friends.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-22-09 - Published: 5-22-09

23. Worm and Caterpillar reviews
A story of deceit and betrayal.
Complete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 156 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-22-09 - Published: 5-22-09

24. To be Great reviews
Whose eyes will you see through after you die?
Complete - Spiritual - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,665 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2-29-08 - Published: 2-29-08

25. Ode to the Carpenter
A free-verse piece. People try to put limits on God. In the end, they're only hurting themselves.
Complete - Religion - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 207 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 2-28-08 - Published: 2-28-08

26. Collide―Oh faith and doubt reviews
A poem inspired by the writing style of Emily Dickenson. When you're beginning to doubt your faith, don't forget that God wants you.
Complete - Religion - Fiction Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 2-26-08 - Published: 2-26-08

27. Crowns and Thrones reviews
What life without Jesus is like.
Complete - Religion - Fiction Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 138 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 2-12-08 - Published: 2-12-08

28. Light Again reviews
Based on a true story, but not about me.
Complete - Spiritual - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 233 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-19-07 - Published: 5-19-07

29. The Fire Dies
An allegory to the story of the Biblical Peter's trials and his three denials of Christ. A young man named Peter unwillingly confronts his exgirlfriend's father. Lying, he's able to save himself from being hurt, but does it ultimately help him?
Complete - Spiritual - Fiction Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,422 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 5-18-07 - Published: 5-18-07

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