I read. Excessively. Which probably explains how I ended up writing. Some favorites: the Harry Potter series, Twilight series(well, I liked it a lot more before Breaking Dawn) Angels and Demons, The Da Vinci Code, Artemis Fowl series, His Dark Materials trilogy (I swear I'm not an atheist), the Bartimaeus trilogy, more...

I suck at summaries. So I'm not sure how people end up reading my stuff. Must be something to do with the subliminal messaging and mind control techniques I'm experimenting with. Yeah...

Stories...

In 55 Words
Like the title says - stories written in exactly 55 words. I would be lying if I said I didn't first see it done by The.Wizard.Pen.Dragon. (Although it's been done by plenty of other people too.)

Life in Geometry with no Parole
Because writing about how boring it is (was!) was better than taking notes.

Things you Don't Want to Hear
Like the title says. You would prefer, for example, that your doctor never said “Let me explain before you do something foolish, like calling your lawyer.” And the reason that there are only chapters for a couple professions? Umm... I'm a lazy procrastinator.

The Truth About McDonald's
A newspaper article-style piece about what's really going on at McDonald's.

The Truth About McDonald's, Part Dos
Yes. Part Dos. Not Part Two. Just because. Except that neither would be necesasary. Because it makes sense independently of The Truth About McDonald's.

Sacrificial Ritual Gone Awry
The strange product of the prompt "Write about a heart that won't quit." Crappy title, possessed llama, what more can I ask for? I don't know, this is a weird one.

The Squishy Fishy
Short story exaggerating the trials and tribulations of eating fish for the first time, packaged in a rhyming title. Yay. I had literally about three seconds to come up with a title.

Quotes (because other people's words describe me better than mine...)

No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one. ~ Robert Byrne

Referring to Voldemort: "The fact remains that he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted by shampoo when he wants to." ~ Fred Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

To the Dursleys: "I would assume that you were going to offer me refreshment, but the evidence so far suggests that that would be optimistic to the point of foolishness." ~ Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Just another deviation from the norm. Heh heh, I like those! ~ Alton Brown, Good Eats

To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Life is not a laughing matter ... but can you imagine having to live without laughing? ~ Leonid S. Sukhorukov

The Review Game - Because everyone coudl use some constructive criticism. (As opposed to "I love your story. Please read mine?")

Review Marathon - Sponsored by the Review Game, it's a weekend of trying to give as many reviews as possible.