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asylum writer
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forums:: My Forums
since: 05-05-07, id: 566649, Profile edited: 09-05-08
country: United States
web: Homepage
Author has written 7 stories for Humor, and Action.

I read. Excessively. Some favorites: the Harry Potter series, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Angels and Demons, The Da Vinci Code, Artemis Fowl series, His Dark Materials trilogy, the Bartimaeus trilogy, more...

I suck at summaries. So I'm not sure how people end up reading my stuff. Must be something to do with the subliminal messaging and mind control techniques I'm experimenting with. Yeah...

Stories

In 55 Words
Some short, hopefully humorous, stories, each told in exactly 55 words. I got the idea when I read some by The.Wizard.Pen.Dragon. Go. Read them. Oh, and these, too, by Sandra A. Singiphrax II.

Life in Geometry with no Parole
A short piece about how boring I find math, written one day during -what else?- geometry. It has a different point of view,
if nothing else.

Things you Don't Want to Hear
Exactly as the title would suggest. I originally meant to update this a lot more, but I've only managed doctors, plastic
surgeons, and psychiatrists so far. Maybe I'll get back to it...

The Truth About McDonald's, Part Dos
Again, the title's pretty self-explanatory. Well, no, I hope what I've written isn't the truth. I think I know a few people who aren't eating there again. This is unrelated to The Truth About McDonald's, except that they're both about McDonald's. They make sense independently.

Sacrificial Ritual Gone Awry
The strange product of the prompt "Write about a heart that won't quit." Crappy title, possessed llama, what more can I ask for? I don't know, this is a weird one.

The Truth About McDonald's
A newspaper article-style piece about what's really going on at McDonald's.

The Squishy Fishy
Short story exaggerating the trials and tribulations of eating fish for the first time, packaged in a rhyming title. Yay. I had literally about three seconds to come up with a title.

Quotes (because other people's words describe me better than mine...)

No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one. ~ Robert Byrne

Referring to Voldemort: "The fact remains that he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted by shampoo when he wants to." ~ Fred Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

To the Dursleys: "I would assume that you were going to offer me refreshment, but the evidence so far suggests that that would be optimistic to the point of foolishness." ~ Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Just another deviation from the norm. Heh heh, I like those! ~ Alton Brown, Good Eats

To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Life is not a laughing matter ... but can you imagine having to live without laughing? ~ Leonid S. Sukhorukov

The Review Game - Looking for reviews with more substance than, "I love it. Update soon!"? This would be the place to get them. Assuming, of course, you can give reviews with more meaning.

Review Marathon - Sponsored by the Review Game, it's a weekend of trying to give as many reviews as possible.




1. In 55 Words » reviews
A collection of mostly humorous stories, told in 55 words.
Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 637 - Reviews: 69 - Updated: 6-6-08 - Published: 1-17-08
2. Life in Geometry with no Parole reviews
My loathing of math, and the realization that my boredom is nothing compared to a certain other's.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 271 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 3-7-08 - Published: 3-7-08
3. Things you Don't Want to Hear » reviews
Quotes you don't want to hear from people in various professions. [new: psychiatrists]
Humor - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,232 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 2-2-08 - Published: 11-26-07
4. The Truth About McDonald's, Part Dos reviews
We all know McDonald's is greasy, but there's more to it than that. Here it is. My second McDonald's parody fic.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,135 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 12-13-07 - Published: 12-13-07
5. Sacrificial Ritual Gone Awry reviews
A possessed llama... can't really say much more than that. The prompt was 'Write about a heart that won't quit'. Really, I have no clue where this idea came from.
Complete - Action - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 434 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-24-07 - Published: 6-24-07
6. The Truth About McDonald's reviews
There's something every man, woman, and child on the planet needs to know about McDonald's. Don't be the person who thinks they can live life without knowing what's going on there.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 246 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 5-15-07 - Published: 5-15-07
7. The Squishy Fishy reviews
Prompt: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Write about the courage it takes to try something new. To which I responded with this story.
Complete - Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 639 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 5-8-07 - Published: 5-8-07
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