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nostril raping drummer
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since: 06-07-07, id: 570488
Author has written 38 stories for General, Humor, Religion, Humor, and Life.

My name is Britni and I like to bang on things.

I'm a drummer, so the above statement is not nearly as dirty as it sounds.

Don't even ask about my username. You won't understand it (unless you've seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in which case I have six words for you: Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. :D)

-sings to self-

"When there's nowhere else to turn. All your bridges have been burned. Feels like you've hit rock bottom. Don't give. up it's not the end. Open up your heart again. When you feel like no one understands. where you are.

Someone loves you. even when you don't think so. don't you know. you got
Me and Jesus. by your side through the fight you will never be alone. on your own. you got me and Jesus.

After all that we've been through. By now you know i've doubted too. But everytime my head was in my Hands. you said to me.

Someone loves you. even when you don't think so. don't you know. you got
Me and Jesus. by your side through the fight you will never be alone. on your own. you got me and Jesus.

Hold on to what we got. This is worth any cost so Make. the most. of life That's borrowed. Love like there's no tomorrooooooow.

Someone loves you. even when you don't think so. don't you know. you got
Me and Jesus. by your side through the fight you will never be alone. on your own. you got me and Jesus."

It's a way good song. I just can't do it justice. But I like it. You should too. That'd be "Me and Jesus" by Stellar Kart. and it's AMAZING. Not to mention inspiring. And... I was gonna say "orgasmic" but for the sake of the song's overall message, I'll pretend that it wasn't the first word that came to my head.

Anyway.

I'm fifteen. I move around (a lot... I just registered for my tenth school). I dunno much about life, but it's great (usually), and I plan on stickin' it out 'til the very end (well, duh). Not really sure what else to say... just read around a bit and review when ya feel up to it. Tell me if anything sucks and I'll see what I can do.

I just put a bunch of stuff on... some of it's really REALLY old. like... I don't even know how old. The pencil was getting really light and hard to read. I thought they were mildy-acceptable-on-a-rainy-day, so I put them up.

p.s.--ilovekatiealot. :)
andkatielovesyou. :)




1. In My Head
I dunno. disregard.
General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 402 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 11-24-07 - Published: 11-23-07
2. Never Let Go
I dunno. I was feelin' down.
General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 191 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 11-23-07 - Published: 11-23-07
3. Shiny Things
There was still no sign of that marvelous, gleaming thing. “No matter,” she said to only herself as she briskly began to pace the hallways again, “it was probably nothing anyway.”
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 496 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 10-27-07 - Published: 10-27-07
4. Neat Freak
Keep it clean.
Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 10-27-07 - Published: 10-27-07
5. , I Pondered to Myself reviews
Sometimes I actually think this way... in this format.
Life - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 71 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 10-27-07 - Published: 10-27-07
6. Christian's Soliloquy reviews
some things are too short for summaries. just read it.
Religion - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 10-27-07 - Published: 10-27-07
7. The Map on the Back of Her Hand
Such a wide grin would cross the man’s face as he would follow the crevices of his own hands up his protruding veins and in little triangles around his knuckles until at last it’d lead him to the finger outstretched in the very same direction as that of t
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 575 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 10-27-07 - Published: 10-27-07
8. The Tunnel
There's a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise it won't kill you.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 188 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-19-07 - Published: 9-19-07
9. The CatSized Dog with the MoreThanTears reviews
You never really know who will come along to sit on your feet while you lie on the sofa beneath the window nearest the front door...
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 424 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-19-07 - Published: 9-19-07
10. Contaminated Chicken Fajitas reviews
Some were relieved by the news however, many of us saw the frivolous horror of it and responded immediately with helpful sarcasm and plenty of excessive whooping. The bushyhaired supervisor instinctively grasped the wrist of the girl now screeching.
Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 635 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 8-7-07 - Published: 8-7-07
11. The Wonders of the Young and Undeniably Strange » reviews
“I found you!” he squeals, bouncing madly in apparently no effort to contain his excitement. Just a couple of short ones I scribbled down. Little kids are hilarious.
Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 939 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-2-07 - Published: 7-15-07
12. My Friend, Nothing reviews
Her notebook teetered steadily between her knobby fingers as they dangled lightly. Her gaze slowly swept and fed on the bedraggled room.
General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 363 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 7-31-07 - Published: 7-31-07
13. Whisper in My Ear
Whisper my name into my ear and the first thought that comes to mind immediately after it.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 88 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 7-14-07 - Published: 7-14-07
14. Crazy and In Denial
Sometimes I pretend to be deep in thought. When done properly, I can only imagine one would look smarter.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 215 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 7-14-07 - Published: 7-14-07
15. FourYearOld Antics
Only after falling to the ground does she allow me to hoist her in. I take one earpiece out so that I can pretend to listen to her tell the same uninteresting stories over and over again.
Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 344 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-30-07 - Published: 6-30-07
16. Phone Frenzy reviews
I scamper down the hall for a third time and try not to slide across the tile floor in my socks as I turn for my last chance of finding the phone.
Humor - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 425 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6-26-07 - Published: 6-26-07
17. Today Is reviews
Today might be Wednesday.
General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 88 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6-26-07 - Published: 6-26-07
18. The Burn reviews
At last everyone was gone. I was alone in the front yard with my splendid fire. I laid my hands above the fire for a while. A few seconds after sears of pain sprang up my arms I rested my hands on my lap. Ow. I did it again.
General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,243 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-24-07 - Published: 6-24-07
19. Second Best reviews
Somehow, my “best” always seems to be the equivalent of someone else’s “semiacceptable on a rainy day.”
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-21-07 - Published: 6-21-07
20. The Light Bulb
I had so many ideas. Good ideas I thought too. I wrote them all down, but all I can seem to do is stare at the words blankly and pretend to think about them.
Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 308 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-21-07 - Published: 6-21-07
21. Max and Sam reviews
As I walk home in the rain, I’m half tempted to sing to myself. Plus, it’s Friday.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 406 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-21-07 - Published: 6-21-07
22. I Appreciate It Mom reviews
No one ever saw it. They assumed that there was no difference in the time she took and the time she had. It was all the same.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 156 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-21-07 - Published: 6-21-07
23. Telephone Psycho reviews
The ward is calling for you. They want their friend back.
Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 49 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-21-07 - Published: 6-21-07
24. The Smell reviews
So I approach the small room ready for the same familiar smell of moments before. Reaching for the handle, I dream of the smell which I’m sure to find in only a few seconds.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 955 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-15-07 - Published: 6-15-07
25. Soapy Mops and Doghouses reviews
I tossed my notebook onto the bed. A little bit harder than I had expected as I came to realize as it was sent rocketing over the edge and under the dresser.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 567 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6-15-07 - Published: 6-15-07
26. Door Troubles
Waiting for the door to close. Waiting for opportunity to slip away. Waiting. For the girl on the other side was a problem.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 392 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
27. I Have To Do What!
Line. Line. Line. Tree! Line. Line…
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
28. Pieces of Glass
It’s almost enough to suffer just one more time.
General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 213 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
29. Mistake's Pendulum
I will be a lesson to those haunted by my empty presence.
General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 190 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
30. The Inside is Out of Style Anyway reviews
I’ll think about counting the dots on the ceiling, but I won’t fall to such a level of boredom to actually do it. Not today.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 180 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
31. Walking in Circles
Once more around the circle I go.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 475 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
32. Undecided
Can I pray loud enough?
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 289 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
33. Too Weak to Cry Alone
I have a plan.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 559 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
34. The Girl over There reviews
She says that if you should like to know the depths of any mind, you should unlock the heart first. The mind still won’t actually make any sense, but you’ll be satisfied.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 240 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
35. Perhaps I'm a Bit Selfish
May I have a peek at the underside of your eyelids?
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 134 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
36. Living Between the Id, the Ego, and the Superego
I laid on my bed gloomily watching the fan blades spin. Sometimes I would focus on one and follow it in its quick circles.
General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 171 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-14-07 - Published: 6-14-07
37. Problems of the Innocent and Inexperienced reviews
The problems we once dealt with that felt as if they were in fact very real, and could not possibly get any bigger.
General - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 406 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-13-07 - Published: 6-13-07
38. I Could Title It , But It Wouldn't Mean Anything
Here my problems seem as far as the stars that had just moments ago were less numerous than all my life’s worries.
General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-11-07 - Published: 6-11-07
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