Helloo.
That's a picture of a Sim that looks like me, in their emo corner...
This is where my profile is supposed to begin but is actually interrupted by my stalker who has hacked into my account -cackle-. Not joking. WHOA! This part has changed since the last time I edited! Stalker added in the cackle! Whoa! I was reading this then- BAM! That was creepy! -freaky grin- WHOA! She just added the freaky grin too! AH! Okay if there's ever a "-insert thing here-" excluding the "-insert thing here-" it's Stalker! -insert thing here- Geez, that was creepy. Haha, very funny StalkerI...This is probably the part when you press the "hide bio" button or just completely leave my profile itself. Please do not be alarmed by my (and my stalkers') insanity! The writing isn't very insane! I think... Anyways, let the stalkerness BEGIN! (I have not deleted a single stalker message.) Don't I feel special. :3 If you wish to skip the stalkerness, there's one of those groovy lines where it ends, and my real (and rather short) profile is.
P.S. Shoot. I now have a second stalker. Not joking. Bah. I should really stop telling my friends my passwords... (We're not your friends. We're your worst nightmare. YOU ARE OUR LIVES.) Oh God...
HI DISNEY!
This is me...a stalker. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
-end stalkerness-
NO! Stalker stalked me! Yes people, I am so cool and talented that I have my own stalker. I AM NOT LYING! I DID NOT WRITE THAT! Anyways, on with the profile-
-start stalkerness again-
Disney. It's Stalker again. And to everyone else, Disney is NOT writing this or the above one. Disney is cool and awsome and talented and has her very own stalker. It's true. I know her age, telephone number and where she lives.
-end stalkerness-
Thank you stalker. Though I must say, you are a way better writer than me! You get HUNDREDS of reveiws! You are the bestest author I know! I'm flattered but if I'm talented, you're a god! Anyways, again, on with the profile-
-once again, start stalkerness-
LYK WOAH IT'S STALKER AGAIN!
Be afraid, Disney, be very afraid. Again. Anyways, I only got hundreds of reviews for that ONE story, and that was because it had like thirty-two chapters! I'm not a god! You're an amazing writer! You're incredible!
Good luck with chappie two for Beautiful, btw. I think I shall call you on the Stalker Phone.
-sheaths dagger- You got away this time. Next time, you may not be as lucky. -dundundunnnn-
-end stalkerness-
Stalker finally stalked again! It's been a while stalker! Now I'm going to stalk you until you post another story on fictionpress! Moohahahahaha! Anyways, on with the profile-
-not quite on with the profile, as it's Stalker again-
-arrives out of alley from top of building-
BEHOLD! IT BE STALKER!
Ok, everyone reading this. Disney is an amazing writer, let's all giver her a round of applause, alright? -claps- And I posted again on FP. My won-der-ful poem of which I love dearly because I went insane while writing it. (Well, that doesn't make sense. I've ALWAYS been insane -bwhahaha-) I see you've posted like 50 thousand more stories. My alerts haven't been coming through. Hmmm...
Or maybe it's because my stalker-minions intercepted them. Yes, that must be it.
My apologies, Disney.
-end stalker-
-elevator music-
-start Stalker-
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA THE STALKER HAS STRUCK AGAIN!
And this time certain bypass features were needed to gain access to the profile edit page! Yes, it's true, STALKER IS BACK.
And you know what she's going to do?
Force-feed Disney muffins!
BWUHAHAHAHA
Muffins of DOOM!
BWUHAHAHAHA
Update Beautiful (wow, hard to spell) or fear thy wrath of muffins.
I was watching Star Trek today. Picard pwned. You see, Kirk saved millions of lives and died. Picard saved millions of lives and lived. And really, some say Kirk is better. Pshh.
Okay, Disney. You're going to hate me. But here are reasons why Picard is better than Kirk:
Picard's worst episodes were originally written for Kirk. Picard discovers new life, new civilizations and strange new worlds, not discarded movie sets from period 1950's dramas. Picard can act out entire Shakespearean plays, not merely remember 1 or 2 lines. Picard can get his ship to orbit a planet in both directions. Picard would never ever date a shape-shifter who had previously morphed into a little girl. Picard doesn't need to wear glasses. Picard has so much back-bone Starfleet designers had to cut out a section of his command chair for it all to fit in. Picard didn't have to reprogram a computer to give him better grades in order to graduate from Starfleet Academy. Picard has to contend with crap Starfleet Admirals. If he stole a starship, he'd get vaporized, not given captaincy of a new one like in the easy old days. Picard commands his ship using the big head. Picard has a ship whose engines can take it. Three words: seven whole seasons. Picard never uses Grecian 2000. Picard has to contend with the "Prime Directive" - a ruling imposed on him by Starfleet after they saw what a complete shambles resulted when they let Kirk meet new alien races. The only way Picard would allow tribbles on his ship would be as hors d'oeuvres. Picard never met Joan Collins. Picard's bridge doesn't sound like an aviary. Picard participates in the odd archaeological dig. Kirk would make a suitable subject for one. One question: to which Captain would you entrust the safety of your daughter? Picard is far too cool to beam down to a planet, strip to his waist and wrestle with some guy in a rubber lizard suit. He lets his First Officer do all that for him. Picard never shot his best friend's body into space in a photon torpedo. Kirk probably thinks a concerto is a kind of ice cream dessert. Picard doesn't need hair - real or not. Picard's crew are too sophisticated to be taken over by a bunch of women in go-go boots and have the most intelligent person aboard controlled by a box that has less buttons than a Super Nintendo joypad. One word: SQUISHED (what would happen to Kirk and his ship had he met the Borg and tried to deal with them in the same manner as he deals with most other things). Kirk, almost single-handedly, re-populated the Earth's whale population. Just goes to show how questionable his sexual practices really are. If their situations were reversed, Kirk would probably nail Lwaxana Troi. Picard has standards. Kirk can just about drive a stick-shift. Picard sells Pontiacs during the commercial break. Picard has a real bar aboard his ship. Picard would never have let his second in command irradiate himself in the engine room. While Kirk did make most of the decisions aboard his ship, this was only because advice from his crew was almost exclusively limited to "That's illogical Captain," "It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim," "It's life, but not as we know it" and "Klingons on the starboard bow." Small wonder really. Unlike Kirk's, Picard's middle name doesn't sound like an infectious disease. Kirk once made a cannon out of bamboo, sulfur, potassium nitrate & charcoal and used it to fire diamonds into the hearts of his enemies. Picard is a starship captain, not MacGyver. Picard has only stooped to the dire act of feigning illness to attract a guard's attention once. Kirk has to fight Klingons to get his way. Picard only has to tell them what to do. Picard would never wear eye makeup. Ever. Picard has a small, convenient hands-free communicator, not a Fisher Price spin-n-whizz baby toy. Picard would never let himself get turned into a woman. Picard and his crew can solve a week's mystery in 44 minutes flat. Kirk used to take 50 plus. Picard never has to sign an Etch-a-Sketch attendance register kept by Yeomans with hair like a helter-skelter. Picard never cries in front of his crew when one of them gets killed. Picard never has pretentious episode titles like, "For the world is hollow and I have touched the sky". Kirk is so boring he's caused several computers to self-destruct merely by talking to them. Picard knows how to make a starship last. Kirk has gone through 3 already; that's a trifle careless. Picard's engineers never lie to him about how long it takes to fix something, because no one, not even Starfleet engineers, mess with Picard. Okay, so Picard is French. But at least he speaks with an English accent. Picard chews out Klingons. Kirk chews on Klingons. Picard can climb rocks without falling off. Picard's uniform fits. Particularly around the midriff. Picard had a large serrated knife pushed into his back, through his heart and out his chest... and he just Laughed at it! Kirk fights like Adam West. Picard blows up another starship more than once a season. Picard never has to put bits of Lego into his computers to make them work. Picard made sure all the beds in his sickbay looked even more uncomfortable than Kirk's so he'd have fewer slackers. Picard's phaser fires a burst of potentially lethal energy. It does not fire a stream of red felt-tip pen. Women chase Picard. Kirk has to go out and bag his (except for the ones with green skin). Picard never needs a pessimistic Scot to beam him out of the crap when things get ugly. When Picard has a holiday he goes home, gets drunk and brawls. Kirk sits at a camp-fire toasting marshmallows while singing "Row row row your boat" . Picard ate Romulan soup and didn't even flinch. Much. The Klingons in Kirk's day were real wusses. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever. Picard's girlfriends just look good. In any light. Picard once sent an entire ship full of people through a worm-hole to their certain doom. And just because his bartender suggested it might be a laugh to do so. Picard doesn't need to jump through big stone doughnuts to travel in time. Remember the time when the Captain of the Enterprise was a slow-moving, monosyllabic automaton with a funny name? But enough about Kirk, wasn't Picard terrific as a Borg? Kirk only managed to make himself look relatively attractive by carefully selecting his crew; contrast is everything. Picard has only ever gone crazy once, and then he did something really cool like draw a smiley face in the cloud emanating from a warp core explosion. Picard would never let his son get killed by Klingons. Two words: Command presence. If Kirk ever met a Ferengi, he'd probably try to mate with it. Kirk never wore green tights and frolicked around Sherwood Forest. Kirk has no sense of humour. Kirk's First Officer played some form of Vulcan harp, an instrument that makes the trombone look like just about the most macho thing this side of Kirk's wig. How many innocent yellow-shirted security officers have been killed by crazed aliens who had taken pot shots at them in the mistaken belief that they were actually shooting at Kirk. Kirk commands his ship as if he's driving a tractor across an Iowa wheat field. When Picard was 37, he was the Captain of the lowly Stargazer. Starfleet soon learned the value of "progressive experience" having witnessed the disastrous consequences of letting someone take charge of a real ship when their previous vehicular experience extended only as far as driving a tractor across an Iowa wheat field. If Kirk had a doctor like Beverly Crusher, Starfleet would have to relocate the command chair in sick-bay. Picard has more than one token black on his crew. Picard isn't afraid to go places without a security team. Picard doesn't wear pansy sailor-boy markings on his cuffs. Picard has shuttlecraft that can travel faster than Kirk's ship. Picard would never have said "He's had too much LDS". Picard never has to say stupid things like, "I...am a Gr'up!" in front of young teenage girls who fancy him. Picard was actually in his own show's pilot episode. Picard never visits planets that look suspiciously like a Californian desert. Picard won't spend his retirement writing science fiction books or making cameo appearances in Zemeckis & Zemeckis films. Picard was never demoted to a lieutenant in the L.A. Police Department. Picard's doctor doesn't have to keep reminding him what her job is. Picard doesn't have to operate his turbo lifts using hand pumps. Picard's main viewer is a 200 inch hi-definition TV with Nicam and Pro-Logic surround-sound . Picard's ego wouldn't demand 7 million for a 10 minute appearance in a movie. Picard can spend more than 15 minutes on a planet before being shot at or locked up. Picard's ship was never taken over by a door-to-door salesman. If the Borg had assimilated Kirk, they wouldn't have learned anything. Picard's First Officer eats the things that attack Kirk in alien forests. Picard would never blow up his own ship. Imagine you have to impose your authority: "This is Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise. Now introduce yourself as "James Tiberius Kirk, but you can call me Jim." See the difference? Who ever heard of the Patrick Stewart foundation? One word: Intelligence. More reasons...
Two Words: better voice. Picard's ship's counselor traded in her miniskirt for that great low-cut neckline. Kirk fought over women. Picard had women fight over him. Picard fire both photon torpedoes AND phasers at the same time when in battle. Picard's ship is better than Kirk's -- better, faster, stronger. Picard hates children -- Kirk once rescued a bunch of patricidal little maniacs, tried to console them, and almost lost his ship and crew in the process. Picard was responsible for Beverly Crusher's husband dying, berated her son constantly in her presence, yet still managed to make her fall for him. Though admittedly he's seldom a patron, Picard's ship actually has a BAR. Kirk fought others himself, Picard has others do his fighting for him. When nurse Chapel re-appeared as Troi's mother, she fell for Picard. In seven years, Picard never developed a gut like Kirk's. Picard was never killed by his first officer. Picard's family made alcoholic beverages for a living. Kirk kept losing security guards throughout each season; Picard has kept Worf for seven years. No member of Picard's crew was EVER based on a member of the Monkees. Two words: better actor. Picard can do better impressions of his first officer. Picard single-handedly saved the Federation, the Klingon Empire, and all of humanity while still a lowly captain. Picard's a better musician than Kirk, while admittedly that's not saying much. Picard's crew members sleep with one another on a regular basis. Picard's crew gambles. Picard's engine room has that neat warp coil that glows. Picard's ship has better control panels instead of a series of Lite-Brite boards. Picard would never star in a show like "T.J. Hooker." Picard would never have allowed Charlie X aboard his ship. No sideburns. 'Nuff said. Picard's first officer never seized control of the ship to transport a former captain anywhere. Despite the Borg incident, Picard is still welcome back at Starfleet HQ. Kirks name is an anathema to Starfleet HQ and alien races alike. Picard never ordered his ship to self-destruct as a bluff; when he orders it to do so, he MEANS it. Picard's ship was never taken over by its own computer and made to attack other Starfleet vessels. Picard has never been made into a bad Filmation cartoon. Picard was able to bring Denise Crosby back from the dead. Need we say more? Picard infiltrated Romulus, posed as an intergalactic mercenary, and was tortured extensively after capture by the Cardassians -- and never broke a sweat. Picard has never been demoted. Picard has never had his body taken over by a former lover. Picard has never developed amnesia and thought he was an Indian. Picard has never encountered aliens from weird planets like "Zatar." Picard's quarters have a window. Nobody ever back-slaps Picard. Picard was never involved in any hokey shootouts at the OK corral. Picard is a caffeine addict. (All that Earl Grey tea.) One word: Leadership. Kirk is not a sex symbol. Never was, never will be. If Picard had a son, he wouldn't lose a fight to a Klingon whose commander was Christopher Lloyd. Speaking of losing, Picard has never lost a first officer to a man who once made a career out of selling Chrysler Cordobas, either. Picard would never be so stupid as to go rock climbing without equipment and rely on an overweight first officer with rocket boots to save him. Picard would never stand for playing "Row Row Row your boat" around a campfire. When Picard enters a room, people fall silent; when Kirk enters one, they keep on drinking. Picard has that cool, futuristic artificial heart. When Picard has an alternate reality experience, it's worth watching and caring about. Picard never expects the impossible from his engineer. When Klingons are aboard Picard's ship, they don't go rampaging about with 17th century weaponry. Picard has more class than Kirk ever had. If poor judgment were bricks, Kirk would be a housing project. Picard had the chutzpah to admit when he screwed up instead of putting on a face which only made things worse. Picard doesn't rely on the Organians to help him settle intergalactic squabbles. Picard gets along with the aliens aboard his ship. It's unlikely Picard ever contracted a sexually-transmitted disease. One word: diagnostic (Never heard it on the old show.) All that cool technical jargon (Also never heard on old show.) Picard has hair on his chest. Picard can actually make being bald, middle-aged, and scrawny look sexy & macho. Kirk sat alone in the middle of his bridge; Picard kept counselor Troi within easy reach and view at all times. Picard has never mutinied or had his crew mutiny against him. When Picard gets drunk, he tracks mud all over the house and gets in a fight. When Kirk gets drunk, he passes out. Picard hired Whoopi Goldberg to work in his bar. Picard is not afraid to mind-meld. Picard's ex kept her name even after the divorce; Kirk's kept it a secret even from her son. Picard like solving mysteries; Kirk couldn't figure one out if he tried. Picard has never messed up with the transporter. Picard has never been bitten by a mugatto. Nor has he ever allowed shape-shifting salt vampires aboard his ship, either. Picard has never aged prematurely. Picard wasn't afraid to take on Satan. Picard knows Gilgamesh & is able to recite it. Picard argues with his captors while being tortured, Kirk merely screams in agony. Picard never brought a woman back from the 20th Century only to have her blow him off in front of the entire Federation assembly. When Picard talks, people listen. If Picard were a late-night talk-show host, he'd be Dick Cavett. If Kirk were a late-night host, he'd be Chevy Chase. NO ONE laughs when Picard's Doctor says, "He's dead, Jean-Luc." Picard has never kissed a Romulan. Picard has never crashed in San Francisco bay in a pirated spacecraft. Picard would never have brought "Nomad" aboard his ship. If Khan came aboard Picard's ship, Picard would have had the common sense to restrict what technical manuals he would've been allowed to review. If Picard found a huge glowing sphere in the middle of outer space only to discover it was controlled by a child with an ugly puppet, he'd be pissed. Picard would never ATTEMPT hand-to-hand combat with a Gorn. Picard would never have dropped the charges against Khan. Kirk actually tried to defend the idea of intergalactic war with the Klingons. When Kirk went back in time, he frequently messed with history to suit his own ends. Picard probably would have found the Galileo 7 in less time than it took Kirk. Three words: Better costume variety. Kirk tries, usually unsuccessfully, to respect other cultures. Picard tries, usually successfully, to get other cultures to respect him. Kirk's occasional game of choice is 3-D chess, Picard's is poker. "Picard" has more syllables than "Kirk." Can't forget those neat collar insignias. Picard's not afraid to deal with more advanced cultures & has done so on a number of occasions. Picard's been on both Klingon birds-of-prey AND the heavy cruisers (and lived to tell about it). When Picard goes undercover, he makes it look easy. Though Picard has contempt for aliens like the Cardassians, he doesn't let it show. Kirk wears boots -- Picard wears shoes. And as we all know, it's gotta be the shoes... Assimilating has never been a problem for Picard. Picard has never trashed Gene Roddenberry. Kirk was a leader of followers. That's the only reason he (almost) got away with it.
So that's 203 reasons. Stalker PWNED Kirk.
-end Stalker-
More reasons...
Oh geez, she's taken over half of my profile with STARTREK! Has the world realy come to this? Anyways, read Stalker's stuff. She's an AMAZING writer and happens to be (name eaten by Stalker) (on my favorites). A message to stalker: UPDATE CONUNDRUM!
-start scary music and dark lighting-
IT'S STALKER TIME
Yeah, I kind of took over half of her profile. With Star Trek. Sorry, disney. Just trying to prove a point about Picard (who pwns). Stalker has to go (maybe it has to do with Conundrum) -wink wink- so for now...
-WHOOSH of cloak and dagger-
-end Stalker-
Ug. YOU DID NOT UPDATE CONUNDRUM ON FRIDAY! -sobs- It's like all I look forward to in life has betrayed me :P UPDATE CONUNDRUM SOON! You're only 699 reviews away from your goal! YAYS FOR YOU! Disney might be posting a new FP story soon...
...Silence...
...and then...
IT'S STALKER.
WHO IS SICK.
AND DOESN'T HAVE A DEEP MYSTERIOUS ACCENT ANYMORE BECAUSE SHE'S COUGHING.
Bah. Evil cough. Stalker shall be back, but with trusty Advil! -insert picture of Stalker smiling holding up a bottle to the audience-
-End Stalker-
Aww!
Poor Stalker!
I told you not to go to school today. The bunny told you too, but no. You disobeyed the healing evil plot rainbow bunny of doom, you will now SUFFER! Anyvays, an update for Conundrum? PLEASE! I be good to you! I'll try to convince the bunny not to blame you for disobeying her, seeing as your so drugged up you can't think straight (coughOVERDOSEcough) and that for the past three nights you've passed out drunk... The bunny may understand, if you perhaps... update? COME ON! You only have 369 reviews to go, a nice FAXY chapter would bring you to your goal so much more quickly! Perhaps before MR4 is out...? You can try!
PLEASE dear Stalker! If not for I, or your dedicated fans, for yourself. The bunny may be pleased at you writing out her plot ideas... not to mention I'll do as I said before... PLEASE!
So... please? -gives bambi eyes that you think you can resist but you can't cuz they're just so darned adorable and are pratically crying with cute patheticness almost shouting "please" in your ear but in a nice way so please-
-end non-stalkerness cuz this is my own profile-
-LET'S TURN UP THE STALKER POWER!-
Yes, my accent is back, I'm not as sick! Yeah, I disobeyed the bunny...-looks at bunny- He's glaring at me...
Stalker did not pass out drunk! There is simply alchohol in the drugs, and brandy puts me to sleep. It was under SUPERVISION. And I didn't get brandy. The Nyquil put me out.
Conundrum update= this weeked? Or next.
Faxy chapter you say? I've already written the first page...it's...different.
I'm glad I went to school! I would've fallen behind otherwise, and you've seen my schedule. I miss one day and I have at least two teachers trying to kill me. (But after this Saturday, my schedule disappears and I have incredible amounts of free time. So I shall start a Saturday countdown.)
DAYS LEFT 'TIL SATURDAY
5
-end stalkerness-
Disney: YAYAYAYATA!
Okay, MR4 tomorrow!
YOU UPDATED!
TABAM!
YEAH!
Stalker has not stalked in a while... perhaps she has died?
BWAHAHAHA!! IT IS I, STALKER II!!
In Stalker's abscence, I, Stalker II have taken over. -cue evil music-
-twitches- And because I have nothing better to do because I've seen NO anime since JANUARY. The withdrawl was horrific to behold.
So live in fear, Disney, for we shall meet again!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!
-end stalker II-ness-
Ooooooh darness.
I have a second stalker.
Not joking. Different one. Different stalkerness.
Why me?
-begin Stalker II-ness-
Because you're so stalkable. You're an easy target.
And, as I said before, there's no anime to keep me occupied.
So you're stuck with me. >= )
-flings cape around self and disappears in cloud of smoke hence end of stalker II-ness-
Oh goodness.
Stalker II and boredom. Not a good combination.
Often resulting in unwashable kittyness on disney's face and french couples on disney's arm.
Why?
-BWAHAHA- (stalker II-ness has begun)
Don't forget the paper cat ears. And it's your fault for not remembering they weren't very washable.
I can do that to your clone now, though. And she doesn't complain!
No wonder you have grey hairs.
-POOF!!--stalker II-ness ends-
-sighs-
I ONLY HAVE- GAH!
-takes deep breath-
I don't even have a WHOLE gray hair!
It's just a part (as in smallest chunk in humanity) of a gray hair!
Grr...
Bah.
Alright, stalker II.
I WIN!
JXE!
FXA!
Oh yeah... you know what I'm talking about...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
-o.O- (Stalker II has returned!)
You frighten me sometimes, Disney.
Stalker II is listening to Boston! FOREPLAY/LONG TIME!! YEAH!!
Jeez, Brad Delp is insanely good...
ROCK & ROLL BAND!!
-"Rock and roll band, everybody's waitin', gettin' crazy, anticipatin'..."- (Stalker II has left)
Fang and Ari...
-"Tsugi tsugi, semekomi, netemo sametemo mawari tainai wawa wawa"- (No longer Boston. Kuru Kuru Rock!)
-twitches violently- NO!! NONONONO!! FANG AND IGGY!! AGH!!
My amazingly scary love for yaoi doesn't stretch that far...
-Hey! Carrie Underwood!- (stalker II dissapears)
Hehe. Ahh... how I love FF and FP!
Ohm. Just started to poll on my page, check it out?
-"I understand about indecision..."- (Boston again!)
Of course.
I now have more Boston, Queen, random J-pop, and Star Wars music on my playlist. And a Carrie Underwood song.
-flies away in a vanship (Last Exile!!)-
-IT'S STALKER I!-
Someone is taking over my stalk-ee. So I shall have to stalk more.
-swish of cape-
It is I, the original Stalker! Fear me, if you dare!
...So wait. Two people stalking one person? Watch your back, disney. We're everywhere, even when you don't see us.
And you have cats.
Cats are cool. But dogs are better. And Edward Cullen is horrible.
He's as pale as the walls in my house.
He's as loveable as my fridge.
But my fridge is cooler.
Get it? 'Cooler'? Come on, laugh at Stalker I.
-cue laughter-
'Problems' with the flaming heart. Priceless.
Yeegads! How horrid! -gasp- It's HOMEWORK!
-dramatic music-
Dun dun dun dunnnnnn
Stalker is being pulled away by mysterious forces! Oh nooooooo!
-dramatic cloak swish and flick of a dagger, and Stalker I disappears-
STALKER I HAS RETURNED!
YAYS!
But, GAH!
EDWARD IS MY LOVE!
I LOVE MY CATS!
But I love my dog too.
But it's been so long...
So very long...
-a mysterious figure jumps swiftly down from a building-
Stalker II has returned from the dangerous war that is waged during dinner and dessert!
And an evening nap!
GASP! Stalker I is back!
I prefer cats, seeing as I have four. And two dogs. And a lizard. And a brother.
Edward Cullen IS hotness. Incarnated.
Alas, the manga calls!
-bows and disappears. Elle est tres mysterieuse!-
Why me?
-parachutes down from an airplane- (Enter Stalker II)
Because you're so much fun to torment.
Haven't I explained this before?
I READ FMA CHAPTER 82 LAST NIGHT!!
LING'S BACK!! -fangirl squeal-
Or it might just be Greed acting REALLY well. I hate when they show Greed... It just makes me cry... But then Ling was there and I was like BAM!! Happiness! And squealing!! But jeez, Ling was PISSED at Greed. Poor Greed though. I liked that lizard guy, whatever his name was! He was fun to watch! I actually had been wondering for a long time why they were showing him so much... To make life even better, Rose and Winry weren't in this chapter!! I hope they died in a hole together somewhere. And they didn't show Envy! Not that I hate Envy, no, but it's just horrible seeing him like that... And Ed was there again! He isn't dead somewhere! Well, it was obvious they wouldn't kill him off, but still! It's good to know he's out there soemwhere. And Al has been extremely annoying, as per usual. He can't just... Go... Away... Somewhere... I don't want him to die, because then Ed would be depressed, so he can just sit there and not talk, maybe? I LOVED THE BATTLE BETWEEN WRATH AND GREED!! I don't think it was supposed to be so awesome and amazing, but it was. And Pride was just in the background. I think he was frowning. That kid creeps me out. -shudder- BUT LING'S BACK!! IN ALL HIS HOTNESS!!
Thank you, Arakawa-sensei, for an AMAZINGLY AWESOME chapter!!
(Oh, and it's not my fault if some of my statements contradict each other in any way. I'm a sleep-deprived, sugar high fangirl-stalker. FEAR ME.)
-KABLAM!!- (Don't worry, Stalker II is still in one piece! Because you WOULD worry. -twitch-)
-you see a poof of smoke, and BAM, Stalker I has re-appeared!-
IT IS I, WHO HAVE TRAVELLED FAR TO THE PLACE KNOWN AS 'SCHOOL' AND MADE THE HARSH TRIP BACK.
And I only had to kill three people today. A new record!
Edward isn't hot, hate to say it. He looks like a mix between...an albino and a deer. (That's why I was laughing, disney.)
Bwuhahaha. Anders is hot, and only Stalker II knows what I'm talking about.
Hehe. Got to go write -cough-murdercharacters-cough-
-You see a shadow fly overhead, and when you look back, Stalker I has disappeared-
DEER?
The message above is written proof that Stalker I has gone insane. No one in their right mind would think Edward isn't hot.
Wait... KILL?
-Stalker II makes an entrance riding an ostrich-
Edward as in the actor who's playing him isn't hot. But the Edward I imagine is VERY hot.
Anders is... Not hot, but not ugly. Sort of just nice to look at.
I personally think Caprica Six should DIE IN A CORNER ALONE AND IN PAIN.
Stalker II got her bellybutton pierced! It hurts a bit. But it's awesome!
-the ostrich dies and Stalker II throws its carcass at Disney while running away-
-Stalker I appears on a llama-
Yeegads, it be I, Stalker 1!
Edward's okay in my imagination, but he's...a deer/albino onscreen. Yes, disney, I'm insane.
Anders is hot. So hot you can cook bacon on him.
Yum.
What do you think of the latest BSG, hmm?
-sheaths dagger- The sun is rising. It is time for me to disappear with the shadows.
-hops on llama and goes away, not bothering to throw llama carcass at disney as there is no way llamas will die-
-gallops in on a horse-
I haven't seen it yet. D =
Very depressing. My dad forgot to download it yesterday.
But I got the Death Note novel!!
L is awesome!!
-leaps into a Harvest Moon game with the horse in tow ("I must water the onions!!")-
My stalkers have been having a conversation with out me... I feel so... left out.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I fell in a thorn bush today and my stalkers didn't!
Take that, Karma!
-Stalker II flies in on an eagle-
Our victim has returned!
A momentous occasion indeed.
Stalker II's bellybutton hurt today.
But that does not hinder my everlasting stalking! Nothing can! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
-Stalker II kills the eagle, brings the ostrich back to life, and rides away on that-
-Stalker I is BACK-
-brings back eagle-
HAHAHA now I have an eagle! Caw Caw Cawwwwwww!
Have you seen BSG yet?
I have Queen song stuck in my head from We Will Rock You.
"I've been trying to find the day the music died...I think it started with American Idol. Pop stars were famous before they even sang, and music imploded!"
Haha.
-Flys away with eagle and flying llama-
-Stalker II!!-
No, I haven't. = (
I have the Hamster Dance stuck in my head.
Evil non-chocolate-sharing Stalker I.
-straps wings on a whale and flies away on it-
-Stalker I appears-
Hamster Dance!
Score one for pop culture!
You should watch it soon. But it's...ah, I don't want to say it.
-flys away on unicorn-
-Stalker II apparates in-
Hopefully I'll watch it tonight.
Unicorn!
What happened to Disney?
-I love my whale!-
Disneydork died from a broken heart~
-Stalker I-
Why?
-Stalker one leaves on the back of a monkey-
-Stalker II-
Yes, why?
-Green grass and high tides forever!!-
You come in cold, you're covered in blood. They're all so happy you've arrived~
The doctor cuts your cord and hands you to your mom, she sets you free into this life~
And where do you go? With no destination, no map to guide you...
And who did you know? Well it doesn't matter, we all end up the same~
These are the chronicles of life and death and everything between.
These are the stories of our lives so simple or as they may seem.
You come in this world, and you go out just the same!
Today could be the best day of your life.
Stalker I- where'd you hear that?
Good Charlotte song. "The Chronicles of Life and Death".
Creepy ending though.
Won't post...
I just read it. All 203 reasons. It's so true...
Stalker II - I have returned! Stalker II had to take a short leave of abscence due to a very sore throat and a very evil fever.
I thought you were quoting the Science video at first, but I guess not.
Never.
I'm glad you feel better. Your hair looks very nice today.
Yes, it is true. I, disneydork, am stalking my stalkers...
Why, thank you.
Your cats are very cute.
Tell them I say 'hi'.
They say "mrow."
= D
That's adorable.
Oh, and I went through and edited your profile.
My grammar monster got the best of me.
"Mrow" said the camel.
STALKER II HAS RETURNED FROM THE GRUELING, LIFE-OR-DEATH TRIALS CALLED 'EXAMS'!!
How did Stalker and disney do on their English exams?
Camel? I LOVE CAMELS!!
STALKER I HAS RETURNED
AFTER SLIGHT ISSUES WITH HACKING ABILITIES
I HAVE COME TO STALK YOU, DISNEYDORK!
SWOOSH
AND LOOK! IT'S MY TRUST SIDEKICK, LLAMA-DUCK!
LLAMA DUCK'S FONT IS BOLD AND ITALICIZED AND UNDERLINED
HI, WHATEVER SOUND LLAMAS MAKE QUACK
HAHAHA
..and issues with past tense...
I LIKE CHEESEBURGERS
and pie
YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE US
HAHAHA
Swoosh
-nothing is left but the wind, whistling away...-
DISNEYDORK PONDERS!
-the crowd gasps and an eery silence falls upon the stage that is our lives...-
IT IS STALKER II!! -a dramatic song begins, played by a string quartet-
-a gasp- No! Not Llama Duck!
Stalker II feels no fear, however, because Stalker II has brought the inescapable audience that is the world, watching our every move as though we are in the spotlight, waiting for us to make a mistake so they can mock us!
IATITWWOEMATWAITSWFUTMAMSTCMU for short.
Audience for shorter.
NOTHING SHALL GET IN THE WAY OF STALKER II'S STALKING!
NOTHING!
-an echoing sound of evil laughter is all that remains as Stalker II disappears without a trace-
-Is Happy-
-a flash of light, and Stalker II has returned!-
I'm glad that you're happy.
-the crowd gasps in amazement and shock as Stalker II flies above them and out the top of the theatre-
Anyways,
I AM THE ALMIGHTY DISNEYDORK!
And a knuckle-cracking vampire. I happen to be in Mergirl007's clan. Just ask her, and she'll tell you!
But please, if you happen to know me, or know someone who knows me in real life, don't tell them. I'd hate to have to move and get a new identity... again. It gets rather tiresome... And it's not fair to the rest of my clan! Besides, we have to move every few years anyways, we like to try and stay in one place as long as possible.
Now that you know my little secret, I'd prefer you didn't use it against me. I have no plans of finding you and eating you, and I'd really rather you kept the offensive terms to a minimum, thank you.
Anyways...
I noticed that this profile (coughSTALKERNESScough -What? Who's Stalker?-) makes me sound more... thick-headed than usual. Talk to me on FanFiction! I sound more intelligent there! Except when I go on the crazy forums, hehe...
Where Else Can You Find Me?
Other websites I'm on, information and... everything is on my FanFiction profile.
FanFiction - just like FictionPress but you write stories and poems about books, movies, games, ext... that's already out there. For example: Harry Potter. Search "disneydork" if link does not work.
Anyways, make love, not war!
-disney
FictionPress.com - let the words flow
Poll: How Did You Come Across My Profile? Just Curious. Vote Now!
