My name is Ellie, and the project I have created this account for is Dear Nigel.
To give you a bit of a background on the story, since you are most definitely going to want it, I'm going to write it in interview format. It's just easier, I think.
Interviewer: M
Interviewee: E
M: So, how did you come up with the idea for Dear Nigel?
E: Dear Nigel is a very real and very sincere letter/journal story that I started writing at the time that my best friend and I became...intimate. Complications ensued, as the saying goes, especially since I don't think he was quite mature enough for the kind of commitment I was expecting from him. As you see from the various dates, this happened recently. I'm still feeling the pain from the experience, and there were a lot of residual feelings, things I wanted to say to him, but just couldn't. He wouldn't allow me to, I suppose. Some of these things I did tell him, but it was so hard to do it without getting carried away or dramatic. As you can see, I still really need to talk about it.
M: Is "Nigel" the actual name of the object of the title?
E: No, it's one of his chosen pseudonyms that he goes by on the internet. He's always seemed more a Nigel to me than his other name, and I figured it was the best name for him because sometimes that's what I call him in my head.
M: Are you ever going to let Nigel read this?
E: At the moment, I'm still considering linking him to this. It's very difficult because we've been set back a few steps. The emotional intimacy we had been sharing is no longer there because I think he believes he was leading me on emotionally. This was not the case. Anyway, Nigel is going off to college a loooong way from here, and I was considering linking him to the site at the end of the summer for two reasons: So he could still look into my life once in awhile, and for him to see all the things I've ever thought of him. I kind of thought of it as a gift and a curse, but I think at some point he really should read it.
M: Why is it so important to you for someone to read it?
E: Ahem. Well, you see, Nigel is--was?--my confidante. I've tried talking to other people about it, but I know that they're not interested. I have a bit of a problem, you see, because I tend to take other people's problems on myself and then they expect that's what they're supposed to do. I have a few close friends that I just can't talk to about it because they won't listen. Sorry for the sob story, but it's pretty much the answer to that question.
M: How did you meet Nigel?
E: Nigel and I attended a boarding school for the academically charged (or kids that like to study) together during my sophomore year of high school. He was a junior at the time. My roomie and I had for some time noticed him in the halls and found him quite cute. Halfway through the school year I finally got up the gumption to approach him (via AOL Instant Messaging) and speak with him. He pretty much trusted me from the very beginning--it's one of those listening things, I suppose. I acted like I wanted to listen, and he started talking. That's where our friendship took off. However, there was a lot of drama. I liked him and he didn't like me, we liked each other, then we weren't going to the same school and we lived three hours apart, and it was very complicated.
M: You seem to have a lot more negative to say about Nigel than positive. Do you really like him that much?
E: Yea, you see, it's weird. He can be really sweet and funny and I just love hearing his voice. He has the funniest voice inflections and etc. Plus he's very, very cute, with beautiful blue eyes and lovely dark curly hair. He really does care and he wants to be friends. He just...well, he's a male, what more can I possibly say?
M: How long do you plan on continuing this story?
E: In theory, forever, but I know I'll fall off the bandwagon eventually or it'll lose the charm, or maybe in two years Nigel and I will have nothing to say to one another. You can never tell what's going to happen to change something that's been started so compulsively.
That's all for now, folks. Stay charmed.
Ellie
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