
G'day there. I'm Jack.
I read and write. Below are my stories. If I had to make a recommendation I would read 'The Brief Adventure of Prince Brefa'niian'trelut' due to its relative shortness.
'Stupid Prophesies' is probably my magnum opus but, if you take the time to read it, you'll see that's more of a sad thing than something to be proud of. It was nominated for the 'Funniest Fic' award in the 2007 Fiction Awards but failed to reach the finals due to lack of votes...even though it had been voted for the most...either I smell a conspiracy or I'm just a sore loser.
'The Not-So-Great Beyond' is my go at writing the journey we take after death. Yes, I know it's been done before and probably at higher quality but my bus was late and it's a long ride home so I concocted this to pass the time.
'Of Elitism And Shared Accommodation' is my new one. It could go a number of ways but I'm thinking 'absurd and offensive' is the best direction to take it.
And for all those who despise seeing a lack of commas, stay away from the 'Pirate Documentary'. For those who love pirates, though, step right up.
Alright, now that's out of the way here are some things you should do:
Watch 'A Clockwork orange' - Best Kubrick film, though admittedly not for people under the age of 18. Failing that, watch The Mighty Boosh, Black books or The I.T Crowd.
Listen To 'Wolfmother' - Because psychadelic-rock gets you ready for a Saturday night.
Read 'Harry Potter And The Philosophers Stone' - As it is a perfect example of how to draw people in. It's short, mostly to the point, its predominantly action packed, it doesn't grope itself so much like the last few books and wasn't written with a movie version of itself in mind. And surprisingly it was designed for children.
Play 'Call Of duty 4' - Because it's better than you. And me. It's better than everyone actually. If you think you're better than it than play it just so we can laugh as it totally 'pwns' you.
Support the 'Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles' - Two words that most people don't understand but should: Beaver Menzies.
Eat a 'Meat Pie' - Before Jesus broke bread, he ate meat pie.
Give me 'One Dollar' - Because you know i'm good for it.
Oh, and crabs win. They just do. If all else fails, resort to crab-tactics.