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| average.snarker |
Author has written 26 stories for Politics, Life, Spiritual, Mystery, Love, Nature, Religion, Essay, and Fantasy. "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. "Nothing is more beautiful than you wearing only the moonlight and my kisses." Hello, I'm Not Your Average Moonbeam (wow that sounds deliciously like some new age wicca name, or some crap like that) and I'm a recovering vegetarian; I've been off tofu for a year and a half now. Now, on to more serious matters. I absolutely detest bad grammar. If I flame you for bad grammar, take it as a compliment that I actually gave your story the time of day. Most times, I skip over stories on this website for the mere fact that someone was stupid enough to give themselves a pen-name related to the Jonas Brothers or another teenage band. Somebody, please, shoot me. However, if you write well, I will praise you for it, should I have the time. Gender: Female Religion: none that I know of. I'm a quarter Jewish/Rroma, partly Catholic on my grandmother's side (who then promptly decided she wanted to be a mormon and then turned into an atheist of obvious reasons), and some Cherokee and African beliefs on my douche-bag of a sperm-doners side, but I don't practice. I'm probably the cutest atheist you'll ever meet (big curly pigtails and such), but I've been thinking about starting my own religion. After you die, anyone who was a jerk in life turns into an immortal and quick-healing squirrel to be hounded by dogs and run over cars only to heal again for all eternity. Anyone who was cool turns into a kitten. My friends say it sounds like a cult, but I don't have the time or energy to kill myself to go to some magical spaceship or some ridiculous nothing like that. Soda: Dr. Pepper. Honestly, if it was up to me, I would only drink cold Dr Pepper out of cans and cold cranberry juice (none of this cranberry juice cocktail bull) Favourite food: Pumpkin Pie with Cool Whip Television Show: Law and Order: SVU, or Burn Notice Voice Part: Second Soprano. We're ninjas. Want to know why? No one can hear us! Holy freaking hell, everything is changing. I'm taking off all of my pathetic pedestrian (and rather elementary) poems I had written and thought were so fabulous at the time. They weren't. Empty Calories are epic. I'm an elitist. My friends are better than your friends. | |||||||
1. Bast reviewsA simple free-verse about everyone's favourite Egyptian Artemis.Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6-10-08 - Complete2. Abstinence and the Forbidden Fruit reviewsIt isn't what you are expecting. It's cynical, mildly snarky and for all intents and purposes true; not religious.Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 442 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-10-08 - Complete3. Moonshine in June reviewsA fun, light and lyrical poem about a hidden dance of night's creatures on one warm June night.Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 110 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-10-08 - Complete4. Salmon » reviewsA collection of my shorter love poems. Symbolic.Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 11-3-07 - Published: 10-12-075. ChaosNot symbolic. For those who read my work this will shock you. My take on the most devestating day of my life, and those who do not understand the meaning of it.Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 111 - Published: 10-24-07 - Complete6. Off Beats reviewsSymbolic. It is a somewhat sad poem, with references to music.Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10-13-07 - Complete7. Daisy reviewsSymbolic. Maybe a little romantic, depends on how you see it.Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 35 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-11-07 - Complete8. The Sun Chases the Moon reviewsSymbolic. Prose. I adore this piece, though I'm not sure what category it should be in.Poetry: Religion - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 158 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-22-07 - Complete9. Bowing Heads reviewsSymbolic. Not in my usual style. Rather sad.Poetry: Nature - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 44 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-17-07 - Complete10. Black Waves reviewsSymbolism. Rather sad, though not truly a tragedy.Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 39 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-4-07 - Complete11. I Dread the Day reviewsSymbolic. I love this piece, so here it is.Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-30-07 - Complete12. Kitten reviewsSymbolic. Well, you probably won't understand why it is in the love section.Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-30-07 - Complete13. Little Lies reviewsSymbolic, though it may not seem like it. Probably not what you think it's about.Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-30-07 - Complete14. I am Woman reviewsMy take on the feminist movement. Certainly not in my usual style. Before complaining, take into account that I am female.Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 8-30-07 - Complete15. Bums and Hookers reviewsA young socialite meets a homeless man, and relates her experience with bums and hookers.Fiction: Mystery - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 302 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-16-07 - Complete16. A Thinker reviewsA rather symbolic monologue about life. I am decidely torn between posting this in poetry or fiction. It is not in a typical style.Fiction: Spiritual - Rated: T - English - Drama/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,707 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-16-07 - Complete17. The Ramblings of Miss Mary Sue » reviewsSymbolism. A collection of some of my poems about life. Since I have so many of them I decided to make this a series.Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 4 - Words: 347 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-16-07 - Published: 8-15-0718. Kisses reviewsSymbolic. A silly little thing I came up with about life.Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 87 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-5-07 - Complete19. Garnet Beauty reviewsSymbolism. Horror. In my Usual Style.Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-27-07 - Complete20. Disillusioned Dreams reviewsSymbolism. This is one I particularly dislike, however I was harassed into posting this by my socalled 'friends'.Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7-26-07 - Complete21. SunSprinkled Hare reviewsSymbolic, Horror. Not in my usual style.Poetry: Politics - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7-26-07 - Complete22. A Liar reviewsSymbolic, not in my usual style.Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 155 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7-26-07 - Complete23. They HideSymbolic, not in my usual style.Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Published: 7-26-07 - Complete24. Some Meditation, Please reviewsSymbolism. It is one of my more simplistic pieces. Very, very tongue in cheekPoetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 176 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-20-07 - Complete25. Dancing Fools reviewsSymbolic. This just begged to be written. I doubt you will understand why I chose to put this in the Politics category.Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7-19-07 - Complete26. Luna, Luna reviewsSymbolic. More likely than not you will not understand why I chose to put this in politics.Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-17-07 - Complete
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