PenName: Jeezabel
Location: Seventh Layer of Hell or maybe I live in Tinbucktootoo
About Me: Well I'm a fundamentalist Psycho and that about sums it up (not really)
Favorite weird sayings/quotes:
Meaning, ‘do it or there is hell to pay’ in what we like to call Common English.
Smith...you spend 13 years all on your lonesome thinking up some of the most spectacular names and NOW you come up with THIS?! ...I am deeply ashamed...
So you’re saying that he should be killed? AYE TO THAT!
HIS NAME IS AMANDA!!!!
Hush, your blocking the voices in my head...
You know, for as long as I can remember, I've had memories.
Wayne was either the Wicked Witch of the West, or Barbara Bush.
If you come near me, I could, should and might kill you.
(battle cry) Somebody get my brown pants!
Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don't like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I should care, but I don't.
Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints...
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?!
Before giving someone a piece of mind, be sure you have enough to spare!
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
I have gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!
Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!
I'm not paranoid! Which one of my enemies told you this?
I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.
Quitters never win, and winners never quit. But those who never quit AND never win are idiots.
I swear to drunk officer I'm not God!
Someone told me to get a life, but I'm not sure where to download that from.
There are 3 kinds of people. Those who can count and those who can't.
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Suicide hotline, please hold.
If it weren't for physics, and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
If at first you don't succeed, erase all evidence that you tried.
The voices in my head say you have serious issues.
If you love it, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, hunt it down and shoot it.
There's only two people I trust. One of thems me. The other's not you.
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
A poor memory is not the same thing as a clear conscience.
Annoy a politician, think for yourself.
Heck hath no fury like an enraged teenaged girl!
If I'm going down, I'm going down with one heck of a fight!
I'm not mean, I'm just selfish.
Frodo failed! Bush has the ring!!!
I didn't say it was your fault! I just said I was going to blame you!
I don't sink to that low of a level! I sink lower!
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving ain't for you.
Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Comfort the disturbed. Disturb the comfortable.
Change is good. You go first.
Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter accusations.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, then lie.
Your village called. They want their idiot back.
I'm not good at empathy, will you settle for sarcasm?
The next time my insurance company won't pay me because they call it 'an act of God' I'm going to tell them I'm an athiest and see what happens next.
It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
Question authority and the Authorities will question you.
Poor planning on YOUR part does NOT constitute an emergency on MY part.
Yeah, let's mouth off to the angry mob of vampires! That will REALLY help!
Did I say I care? No, I did not. So why do you pester me with problems I do not care about nor do they affect me?
Welcome to my world. Now go home.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
I'm gonna live forever! (or die trying!)
2 wrongs are just the beginning...
You're only young once, but you can be immature forver!
My doctor told me I have multiple personalities, but we don't agree with him.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Nothing is illegal until you get caught!
When in danger or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout. Don't just flipp'n stand there!
CHEESE AND FLIPP'N RICE THE DOG JUST TALKED!!!
Did I mention that I don't care?!?!
I'm already insane, have you not understood what the heck has happened in the past 24 hours?! It's beyond insane, it surpasses freaky, it is a thing that cannot be named it is so weird, freaky, insane, and just finlandish!
Ain't life freak'n grand?
Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Four years ago...No, it was yesterday. Today I... No, that wasn't me. Sometimes I...No, I don't.
Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
I went into a clothes store the other day and a salesman walked up to me and said, "Can I help you?" And I said "Yeah, do you got anything I like?" He said, "What do you mean do we have anything you like?" I said, "You started this."
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to.
A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, "Why were you going so fast?" I said, "See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it..."
I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?" "Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..."
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."
How young can you die of old age?
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts," but, "you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny.
I installed a skylight in my apartment... The people who live above me are furious!
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded!!"
Taunting people with guns may be a bad idea!
What happens if you get scared to death twice?
But-But, I like my life! I've had it for as long as I can remember!
WELL THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!!
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