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-The- Lazy Noodle
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email: Email
since: 09-18-07, id: 582751, Profile edited: 11-10-08
country: United States
web: Homepage
Author has written 11 stories for General, Mythology, Kids, Fantasy, Fantasy, Romance, and General.

Welcome to my little corner of the site.

My writing style is generally laconic. This means that I don't usually use a lot of description. As such, my stories are generally character/plot-driven. I say generally because, occasionally, I will do some description-heavy writing.

In my poetry, expect quite a bit of sensical nonsense from me. Making outrageous things seem plausible and vice versa is my specialty.

In everything else (short stories, novels, essays, etc.), black humor, sarcasm, satire, tragedy, death of characters, and deep contemplation abound. Ask me not why my writing is so dark; I do not know the answer myself.

On another note, I adore archaic and/or unusual words and syntaxes so if you find some weird terms in my writing that you cannot find the definition for, feel free to ask me.

If you'd like to get guaranteed, quality reviews (and don't mind giving reviews in return), visit The Review Game, host of the monthly Review Marathon.

Many thanks go to LucienofShadow for being my Beta.


October 26, 2008

A Woman Scorned is at last complete. As difficult as it was to write, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I hope you will enjoy reading it.

September 17, 2008

Kylie is declaring an indefinite hiatus. This will only really affect ARCE since that is the only story of mine that has a regular update schedule, but whatever. :P

Other than ARCE going on indefinite hold, updates will be more infrequent, I'll be taking my own sweet time to reply to reviews, yadda yadda yadda... You know, the typical hiatus-y stuff.

Reasons why? In short, life can be a real pain in the you-know-where, and Kylie's Year of Hell just began this past Monday.

Oh joy.


Current Projects & Updates

Action-Reaction, Cause and Effect (ARCE)

An experiment in storytelling. As such, methods of storytelling will vary greatly between chapters. Critiques highly encouraged.

On Hold Indefinitely.

You can view a quick portrait of Vinn here.

Book of Villainy (BoV)

Book of Villainy is the plotbunny spawned by "The Death of the Dark Lord Thirilight." I've lengthened the original drabble into a chapter, and future installments are in the writing. Go read it! :P

Meet Thirilight, Dark Lord, member of the High Council of Villainy, and generally all-around evil guy... or not. Come join him on his various misadventures as he eliminates heroes (sort of), kidnaps a princess (or three), and uncovers a devious weapon of mass destruction (for real), all while making it home in time for Gramma's cookies.

Last Updated: September 26, 2008

The Reaper's Heart (Reaper)

"And thus, The Reaper gained a Heart at cost of His Beloved's own."

My first dabble into the genre of tragic romance. This story was partially inspired by Keturah and Lord Death by Martine Leavitt and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Last Updated: October 12, 2008



Future Projects

Back to the Chapel

A runaway bride meets runaway groom, and together they flee the Arranged Marriage of Doom.

My Name is Gary Stew (Gary)

Gary Stew has always been the outcast. Considered crude by his peers due to his name, Gary has only ever had one true friend - Ovaltine. One day, however, Gary and Ovaltine are summoned before the ruler of Merysu, Her Imperial Niceness, Eternally Your Queen Mariella Susanna CDXLVIII (448), and charged with an important mission: prevent war with Antiseu.

A Mary Sue parody, of sorts.

The Dragon Stone

A dragon, a school bus-sized diamond, and a power hungry king. Add a town, a gryphon, and rumors of the diamond being able to summon dragons into the mix, and you have The Legend of The Dragon Stone.




1. Anthology: Poetry » reviews
Collection of my poetry. Last Added: Assassin
General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 17 - Words: 2,520 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-15-08 - Published: 9-2-08
2. Anthology: Short Stories » reviews
Rather than clutter up my page with a bunch of short stories, I'll be posting them here. -Last Added: Heavy Metal Angel-
General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,797 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-27-08 - Published: 8-28-08
3. A Woman Scorned » reviews
Gwenhwyvar is remembered as the woman who destroyed Camelot, but what if she wasn't responsible? This is the story of the Fall of Camelot as told through the eyes of its unwitting architect.
Complete - Mythology - Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,182 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 10-26-08 - Published: 6-2-08
4. The Reaper's Heart » reviews
My first dabble into romance. First chapter is now up!
Romance - Fiction Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,183 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 10-12-08 - Published: 8-26-08
5. Book of Villainy » reviews
Meet Thirilight, your not-so-typical villain. These are his misadventures. Rated for language. Updated randomly.
Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,986 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 9-26-08 - Published: 7-5-08
6. Gary Stew: Teasers » reviews
Scene snippets, infodumps, character sketches and such for my upcoming story "My Name is Gary Stew."
Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Parody/General - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,900 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-9-08 - Published: 9-9-08
7. Wolfskin reviews
Werewolves and wolf skins and wardrobe changes, oh my!
Complete - Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,949 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-4-08 - Published: 9-4-08
8. Action Reaction, Cause and Effect » reviews
An experiment in storytelling. -On Hold Indefinitely-
General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,599 - Reviews: 42 - Updated: 8-22-08 - Published: 2-16-08
9. Gauntlet Slap reviews
A Lady Warrior asks for advice from a Healer on how to deal with a particular man. Rated for language.
Complete - Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 268 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8-11-08 - Published: 8-11-08
10. The Ruin of Daroder reviews
Or "Hymn to the Nameless". Takes place in the same world as my novel, ARCE.
Complete - Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K - English - Poetry/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-23-08 - Published: 7-23-08
11. Killing Tweety reviews
Little Johnny Singer is your typical three-year old boy: precocious, willful, and curious. Or, rather, he was before he killed Tweety.
Complete - Kids - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 808 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 7-1-08 - Published: 7-1-08
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