Hey.

I’m Colonel Mustard 8. That’s obviously not my real name (parents don’t typically add numbers to the end of their child’s name… or name their kids after a character from a board game). I’m a fifteen-year-old guy, and I don’t feel like telling you where I live. Although the site seems to have somehow figured out I live in the USA, and I can’t get that dumb little flag that says United States of America to go away.

Speaking of USA, my currently favorite TV show is Psych on USA Network. I really like all the characters and the hilarious predicaments the show puts them in while still focusing on the mystery of the case that needs solving.

Other TV shows that I like include Lincoln Heights, Scrubs, South Park (!), and all kinds of hideous reality shows that I know are most likely fake but watch anyway. My favorite books are the Harry Potter series, the Inheritance Trilogy (although there are only two books in it right now – hurry up Christopher Paolini!), and most Stephen King novels, which feed my inner sicko. I like books that I can relate to, so needless to say, I don’t typically like books that are set in… colonial Williamsburg or… ancient Sicily or anything like that.

When (and if) I grow up I'd love to do something involving writing. For some writing is a hobby, but I've never found anything I like doing so much. I'd love to turn it into a career some day, but I don't think I'd be good enough. Ideally I'd like to be a novelist, but I couldn't stick to a novel long enough to finish it. Journalism is something else I've thought about a lot (and I'm liking it more and more), but, again, I don't really think I'd be good enough to make it big. Still, I'd even be happy writing articles for some gossip rag that say stuff like, "PARIS HILTON: HOTEL HEIRESS OR SECRET CANNIBAL PRINCESS?". So long as I'm writing I'll be happy.

As far as writing goes, school keeps me too busy to write a whole lot on the weekdays, but I write like the dickens on weekends. I like to write humor (not that I have a choice; humor turns up in my stories even when I don’t exactly want it to) and I do not like writing angst or romance. I also write frustratingly long Author’s Notes at the beginning of each chapter of my stories. I can’t spell and I have absolutely no grammatical skill. I guarantee there are about a hundred grammatical errors in this sentence alone. This is the billionth time I've re-done my profile, and it won't be the last...

Thanks for taking the time to read about me.

C.M.