Hi guys. Emilizrd here. Most of you probably don't know me, as I'm new to the whole FictionPress thing. Actually, that's a lie. I've been around FP forever. I live of reading the fantasy and sci-fi stuff here; it's an addiction. But you still probably don't know me. It's true, I've been reading here for years, but I've never made an account before. And I've never written a story before. Oh, look, another lie. I've written several stories. However, very few of them pass even the most rudimentary of my mental standards. The ones you will see on this website are the ones that have withstood oppression from me and some of my close friends. That's not really saying much, as none of us are very skilled writers, which in turn makes us horrible critics. That's what you guys are for. Attack my stories. Grind them into dust. Then I'll know which ones truly deserve to live.

Now that I've told you all to go destroy my work, I would just like to add that if you mindlessly flame me I will pull your bones out through your eye sockets. All of them. If you see something wrong with my work, tell me what it is, don't just sit there typing "lol ur story sucks dood". Use your brain and describe what the problem is, why it's a problem, how it can be fixed, etc. And for god's sake, don't be a jackass about it. Kay thanks.

A little about me: I like to read. A lot. I tend to ignore any mistakes the author might make with grammar and spelling and such, as it ruins the story for me, and like most people I dislike having enjoyable things ruined. This is the main reason you should never ever ever listen to any praiseful things I tell you when I review your work. If you do, it will doubtlessly inflate your ego to monstrous proportions because you have a silly little fangirl that doesn't know how to review properly. And if I review and say bad things about you, you sure as hell better run and hide because if I think your story reeks, just imagine what the people with chainsaws will do.

Just for the record, I will never ever write anything from a guy's point of view. I'm not a guy, and I'm not presumptuous enough to think I know anything at all about what goes on in the mind of any guy, ever. Nor do I ever intend to be a guy. So, all my stories will be either in first as a girl, or in third. I think I might do one in second sometime when I get the hang of writing; it sounds like incredible fun.

You will also never see me write poetry. It is just not within my mental capabilities.

I hate to say this, but I honestly cannot think of anything else I could write here. I suppose I'll add more as I think of it. So long for now.