Note: I can also be found on Fanfiction.net under the same name.
THINGS I LOVE
Vampires
Horror stories
Role-play
Writing (Well . . . duh, I guess . . . by the way is there a place for an original ff?)
Sims 2, Nightlife, University, and Pets (My characters have become vampires easy, the GV's are everywhere, but I have a 100/100 relationship both ways with the two glowy-eyed wolves I've met and my Sim still isn't a werewolf! GAH!)
My dogs (Bear, german shepherd mix, Callie, dalmation mix plus the antichrist)
My cats (Shadow, 17, Pumpkin, 5, Cole, 2)
Musicals
My friends
Drawing
D./Mina pairing
Two-year-olds
The Far Side
Harry Potter
The Simpsons
Kathy Griffin
Jeff Foxworthy
Bellatrix/Voldemort pairing (Let's face it, we all knew, somewhere deep in our hearts, that there was something going on between them. Only problem is how would he breath when his mouth is, um, otherwise occupied? His nostrils are too tiny . . . anyway, moving on . . .)
Blood+ (All smexy vampires have long, black ponytails. It's a rule of the universe!)
D. parodies. (The Simpsons do it HERE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXGCssc1Qig. Only thing wrong is Bart needed to be invited first.)
This video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4j-Abog3qE&NR=1. What can I say? He's bringing "sexy" back. X-D
THINGS I HATE
The movie "Bram Stoker's Dracula"
D./Mina pairing
Snobby people
Abercrombie and Fitch and other similar brands
Inspector Gadget
People who nag
People who flame (I hope everyone knows Flamers have their own special little corner of hell)
The Clique seires
Ron Weasley
Dr. Seward, Arthur Holmnwood, and especially Quincy Morris and Johnathan Harker
Mowing the lawn
Disclaimers at the beginning of fanfics (of course you don't own it! That's why it's fanfiction)
American Dad
Larry the Cable Guy
Quotations I find amusing
“I’m going to just murder Bella one day. And then Edward Cullen will be stricken with grief, and who better to comfort him but me?” –Carla, discussing Twilight.
“This reminds me of that one game . . . uh . . . Whack a Gopher!” –Theresa, on the bus.
“You know what bugs me? How do mermaids reproduce. I bet there’s a flap somewhere.” –Hayley, sitting around and drinking sodas.
“Well, you know what? Go hump a cow.” –Brittany, walking on the beach.
“Please stop shooting me!” –Ty, playing laser tag.
“What was it like? Well, it was sort of a FFFFFshhhhhwzzzakaBANG! You know what I mean, right?” –Eva. There are many situations this could be applied to.
“KILTIE LIVES!” –Aiden, wrapping his gym shirt-thing around his waist while playing soccer so it looked like a kilt.
“Van Helsing never ages. He’s magical like that.” –Cait, talking about how our one friend drew a pic of the old Van Helsing.
“So I had to walk upside down on the wall this entire scene. But I’d be up there and someone would run past, literally on fire, and they’d run out of my view and I’d hear a kind of wshhhhhhhhhhh as the prop guys put them out. I always wanted to stop the scene and go ask if they were alright, but Stephen was hissing ‘No, no, keep going,’ from the sidelines.” –Richard Roxburgh on the Van Helsing commentary.
“I’m the embodiment of all angst muffins. Draw that.” –Katie to Grace, who was drawing everyone as supernatural creatures.
“Well, okay, but I don’t know how many people I can fit in one suitcase.” –Courtney, who gets to see RENT in New York, in response to our wanting to sneak in with her.
“You know what I want to do? Stick my foot in a bowl of tuna fish.” –Maggie/Lizzie on her aspirations.
“You want to braid my hair? . . . well, it’s better than chemisty.” –Adam, when Eva was braiding his hair over his desk.
“I can see you’re Willy today.” –Mr. Cole when Mr. Segal showed up dressed as Shakespeare.
The only chain letter I will ever, ever foward
If you like me hate chain emails, I think you'll like this one!
Dear chain letter creator, Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fcking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe if you send them on, a poor six year old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show. And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email, $1000? How stupid are we? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day! What a bunch of bullsht.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour. Fck 'em!! If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't fcking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards.
Chances are, it's our own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't pss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswanawith no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals. Have a nice day.
Billy Connolly
P.S: Send me 15 quid and then fck off
Mimi Goes Laser-Tagging (Parody of "Out Tonight.")
I'm not posting this as a new story, so here goes. In order to make this funny, you have to sing along to the movie version. Here goes:
What's the time?
Well, it's not even close to midnight
My brain is talking to me
It say, "Time for lasers."
It says "I wanna shoot a guy.”
“And be the cause of a gunfight.”
“Wanna put on a loose vest and shoot
At a stranger."
I've had a knack from way back
At sniping the players once I learn to aim.
Get up – the game's too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick'll win in the games
We only need a little money
You can’t get in for free
Don’t think you can get in too
If you try to get in with me
Let's go laser tagging
I have to go laser tagging
You wanna play?
Let's run away
We won't be back before we’ve blown them away
Take me laser tagging!
(Game Over!)
When I get a “Nice shot!” from the laser gun
Do you know how unlucky you'll be?
That you're on the line with the feline of
Avenue B
Let's go laser tagging
I have to go laser tagging
You wanna prowl
Be my blacklight owl?
Well, take my hand we're gonna howl
Laser tagging
When they’re gone, I've got to roam
Must shoot in the city of blacklight and foam
Feels too damn much like home
When the sniped children cry
So let's find a tower
So high we can only feel power
And all the scars from the
Actual gunfights die
Let's go laser tagging
Uh-huh
Have to go l-l-l-l-laser tagging
Uh-uh-uh-uh-OH!
You're sweet
Wanna hit the street?
Make the children wail at the moon when they get beat?
Just take me laser tagging
Please take me laser tagging
Don't forsake me- laser tagging
If I shoot you, don’t hate me - laser tagging
Tagging - tagging - tagging
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