Hello, my name is...I'm not telling you! But I'm thirteen years old, female, and if you wish to know anything more about me, feel free to visit my profile at fanfiction.net.
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1344762/
STORIES!!
I have none yet! But I am working thoroughly on a angsty-romance story and several poems/songs. Wait if you wish, but I don't know if they'll be good or not. I'm also going to dig through old notebooks of mine for stories that might be halfway decent or totally random because I wrote them in first grade.
A few short things (not really short):
-I am obsessed with: music, writing, Twilight and Harry Potter. People claim that I have an inhuman obsession with all four of these things.
-School hates me, and in turn, I hate it. I am more uncoordinated than anyone. Once I tripped over a sandwich. Everyone says I am more mature and have more convictions than anyone my age should.
-My favorite Harry Potter characters are Ginny, because I think I'm most like her, and Dumbledore, because he's just awesome. ("For instance, you have not asked me my favorite flavor of jam...For future reference, Harry, it is raspberry...although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself." I laughed my ass off, and of course, what I say just about every day: "Of course this is all happening in your head...but why on earth should that not make it real?")
-It has become an unspoken rule that any girl who passes me by must ask me if my hair is natural curly, which it is, and then either "boing" one of my curls or stick their finger through one of my ringlets. Sure, it sounds funny, until you've had a thousand people's fingers in your hair.
-I hate Hannah Montana and High School Musical. I fail to understand how anyone can like it.
-Sarcasm is my specialty.
-My philosophy is that when life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and laugh as everyone wonders how the hell you pulled it off.
-I play guitar, drums, bass, and a bit of piano. Couldn't sing to save my life. In 2007, I went to twenty concerts.
-I'm originally from Chicago, but moved to SoCal a few years back. However, I still say almost all my 'o's like 'a's and call what they call here 'soda' 'pop'. Well, 'pap'.
-Once when I was writing an essay for school saying how J.K. Rowling would be a great influence, I couldn't come up with a good attention grabber. So I tossed around quotes from the story. I wrote 'NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH! Now that I have your attention...' Because that quote was one, hysterical, and two, my favorite Molly Weasley quote ever. I showed it to a bunch of people, writing my whole essay after that. Then I made a real rough draft with a real attention grabber. But I turned in the wrong draft and let's just say my teacher was not exactly pleased. At least I had the right topic sentence on my final draft, or I'd've been dead.
-Despite popular belief I am NOT insane. I just happen to be quite different. I put produce stickers on my forehead because it's fun and I don't have a Harry Potter scar. I am sarcastic because that's how I roll. I am truly weird. If anyone tells me this, I thank them. In Japanese. Or French.
-My grandmother sends me pictures of people I don't know dated, in her handwriting, for 2011. She is crazy to the point where she is creating her own memories. In fact, she thinks I'm seventeen, collect maps, and write love songs to my cat (which I don't have) on my prized possession: a 1969 fiddle (which I don't know how to play). Also, at my great uncle TJ's wake, who she isn't even related to because she divorced my grandfather, she told TJ's wife that she had a picture of TJ on a tank and had to find it and give it to her. First of all, my grandmother couldn't possibly have a picture of TJ on a tank, because TJ was in the navy. Talking to her is like being forced to watch High School Musical, the UK dubs of Dragonball, and Hannah Montana at the same time while reading Pupkin while listening to the One Piece rap. Torture. Overwhelming, confusing torture.
-I HATE THE HARRY POTTER FILMS!! They get everything completely wrong, omit necessary things to add unnecessary things (in the fifth movie, which they made way too short, they could have used all that time they spent showing Filch drinking tea and eating sweets with, well, I don't know...QUIDDITCH?!). And I think they casted the second Dumbledore horribly (RIP Richard Harris) and should give more time (and lines) to Tonks and Ginny.
-My history teacher doesn't know how to teach. He doesn't teach us anything in class, we spend the whole time watching boring films that make you want to shoot yourself and drawing three maps a week. And if you don't use a ruler, you get points off. He told one kid named Daniel to take his Santa hat off, saying "Take that ridiculous hat off in my classroom!". And he has to believe in that stuff, because he has a pennant in his classroom that says 'God Bless America.'
-My parents are truly awesome. They have given me permission to tell my history teacher that I belong to a cult religion called Crooked Lines for Christ if I ever get in trouble for not using a ruler on my maps and let me ditch the class a lot as long as I do okay. My mom likes all the same music that I do, and she and my dad are always giving me more CDs and bands to listen to. They support anything and everything I do. I love them a lot.
-The administration at my school hates me because two years ago at Halloween I dressed up as a fish. Well, it rained that year, and I spent my time flopping around in every puddle and trying to get from class to class without using my feet or hands. Then the next year I dressed up as a door-to-door salesman (it was easy: suit, hat to hide all my hair in, and a fake mustache) and handed out business cards with a fake number on them. And one day I walked up to every person in school and said, "Are you happy?" and whether they said yes or no, I would ask them to clap their hands. Then the next day, I asked them to stomp their feet. Then the next day I rounded up a bunch of people in gym class and we sang the Frosted Flakes song while playing basketball. They hate me.
-I am so weird that I'm actually popular. People know me all over the school for my weirdness and odd behaviour. I've walked into classrooms I've never been in before and teachers know my name. Well, that's maybe because I'm really smart. Unnaturally smart. It sometimes scares me.
-I am a pacifist, I am agnostic (there goes a few of my readers), and a crazy ass liberal. All the kids in my school who make fun of me, I just make a sarcastic retort, but I will never actually fight them. People often ask me about my religion, and I tell them I am agnostic, because I do not believe in things like gods and devils. However, I do understand how some people might need to think this and am not against it. I am pro-gay rights and would like to see less racists and sexists. Though I am not eighteen, I stay caught up on political issues and already have a candidate for the next election. Barack Obama, and if you want, I will tell you why in a long rant you'll wish you never brought up.
-I have an unnatural obsession with prime numbers. If you ask me, for example, for any number, it will be prime. Usually, thirteen. For another example, I have added this for the sole purpose of having a prime number of things.
TWILIGHT QUOTES:
-"Fall down again Bella?"
"No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face." --Bella and Emmett Cullen, Eclipse, pg 342
-"Kryptonite doesn't bother me either." --Edward Cullen. Page 92, Twilight
-"Bye, Bella...I really hope you don't die." --Jacob Black. 379-80 New Moon
-"When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?" -Bella. New Moon, pg 279
-"It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose." -Emmett Cullen. Page 490, New Moon
-"'I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do,' I griped. I'd spent the better part of the day in Alice's staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played hairdresser and cosmetician." - Bella, Twilight, page 483
-"I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything's so much more fun with you around." -Emmett Cullen
-"You are in trouble," I said slowly, emphasizing each word. "Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame next what is waiting for you at home." -Bella Swan, page 149, Eclipse
-"And Jasper making you feel all warm and fuzzy about spilling your guts, don't forget that." Bella Swan, Twilight
-“No coffins, no piled skulls in the corners; I don’t even think we have cobwebs…what a disappointment this must be for you.” Edward, Twilight pg. 329
-"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her." Alice Cullen, New Moon
-"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather-- have some respect." Bella Swan, Twilight, pg 254
-"Afraid of a needle." he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..." -- Edward Cullen (not only is it Edward, but that's SO how I would be)
- "'What if I told you to take me to Vegas right now? Would I be a vampire in three days?'"
'Sure. I'll get my car.'
'Dammit.'"- Bella (sigh Swan) and Edward Cullen, Eclipse
-"I hear voices in my mind and you're worried that you're the freak?" --Edward Cullen, Twilight
-"Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear." --Bella Swan, Twilight pg. 215
-"Porsches as bribes and king-sized beds where nobody sleep; it was beyond irritating." –Bella Swan, Eclipse
-"In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will?" Bella, Twilight pg. 495
-"I'm going to spontaneously combust one of these days--and you'll have no one but yourself to blame."-Bella Swan Eclipse pg. 188
-"Tempting. I have been tortured--Alice painted my toenails." Bella Swan pg. 149 Eclipse
-"He said never to come through this door again. Technically I came in through the window." Edward, New Moon
-"'I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella.'
'Hmph,' I grumbled.
'It would upset you in the morning.'"- what Edward said to Jacob; Eclipse
-"But you don't need friends anymore," I said sourly. "You have Sam. Isn't that nice- you've always looked up to him so much."
"I didn't understand him before"
"And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah." --Bella and Jacob, respectfully; New Moon
-"I don't care who is a vampire and I don't care who is a werewolf. Your Jacob and he's Edward."
"But he IS a vampire and I AM werewolf."
"And I'm a Virgo!"-Bella and Jacob
-"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..."
"What a stupid lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion." --Bella and Edward, I think Twilight, I'm doing most of these purely from memory
-"Watching Edward and Alice playing chess was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. They both sat there staring at the board, Alice predicting what moves he would make and Edward picking he moves from her mind. I think they had only moves two pieces when Alice flicked over her king and walked away. The whole thing took about three minutes"--Bella's thoughts, Eclipse
- "I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator"--Bella Swan, Twilight
- "I was just wondering why you stabbed him, not that I object" -Edward Cullen, Eclipse
-"Stupid, shiny Volvo owner."--Bella Swan, Twilight. This is double funny, because not only is the Volvo shiny, but the owner is shiny, too.
-"I can do this. No one is going to bite me."--Bella Swan, Twilight. FORESHADOWING!!
- "By the way, thanks for my gift, Bella. You shouldn't have."
"Alice, I didn't."
"I know, but you will." --Alice Cullen and Bella Swan, Eclipse. I love Alice.
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