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DZ McKnight
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since: 04-16-01, id: 59774
Author has written 10 stories for General, Humor, Humor, and Haiku.

"Get the kids and bring a sweater.
Dry is good and wind is better.
Count the years. You always knew it.
Strike a match. Go on and do it."

SHOW DICK SOME RESPECT

Tobin's Spirit Guide for Dummies:
Finally, a manual for the rest of us!
-Now includes an expanded section on manifestations and unearthly presences!-

I have definitely got some H.P. Lovecraft sized rats in the walls.

"It's all about soul."

If I were a guy, I think this is what I would sing about me, the girl:

"She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes,
she can ruin your faith with her casual lies,
and she only reveals what she wants you to see.
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me.

She can lead you to love. She can take you or leave you.
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe you,
and she'll take what you give her, as long as it's free.
Yeah, she steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me.

Oh, she takes care of herself.
She can wait if she wants.
She's ahead of her time.
Oh, and she never gives out
and she never gives in;
she just changes her mind.

And she'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden,
then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding.
But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be.
Blame it all on yourself cuz she's always a woman to me...

She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel.
She can do as she pleases,she's nobody's fool,
and she can't be convicted she's earned her degree.
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you, but she's always a woman to me."

Yes, a sad self-portrait. Thanks, Billy.

DZ says:
Learning to take a joke will get you far in life...

...you humorless fucks.


1. The Witch of One Eleven » reviews
Perry and Vivienne fight an evil cauldron-stirring calculus lover...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,266 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-19-05
2. The Magic Eight Ball Of Doom » reviews
Perry DeMarco and Vivienne Rochelle escape one hell to fall into another, by way of an evil magic eight ball.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 8,454 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 1-18-05 - Published: 9-23-01
3. Haiku Sucks reviews
See above re: how I really feel about haiku.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Parody/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-15-05
4. Broken Arrow reviews
A cute, funny little punk song expressing my utter loathing and contempt for my ex.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 307 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-15-05
5. Burning Out » reviews
Jack is burning his candle at both ends: doubting his future and running from his past.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,059 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 7-18-02 - Published: 2-14-02
6. I Hear Your Voice » reviews
Jack and Anna are so close... And yet so far away! What to do when the Final Fling is coming up and Jack is always a phone call away?
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,382 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 10-5-01
7. One Step At A Time reviews
New families. New beginning. New opportunity. New life. New world... Parents suck.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 928 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-23-01
8. Think Of Me... Fondly? reviews
Sigh. First the love of Vicky's life has a girlfriend, and now this!
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 732 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-3-01
9. Moment Of Bliss reviews
Part One of my little Jack/Anna saga for those who want to read these in order. How organized of me. Anna meets someone who forces her to make a choice between her beloved common sense and her... well, beloved. For anyone who's read
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,810 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-19-01
10. Waiting For You reviews
May or may not be the conclusion to Jack and Anna's story. Can't decide whether to give them a happy ending or not. Anyway, Jack's final promise.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 615 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 7-8-01