Author has written 10 stories for General, Humor, Humor, and Haiku.
"Get the kids and bring a sweater.
Dry is good and wind is better.
Count the years. You always knew it.
Strike a match. Go on and do it."
SHOW DICK SOME RESPECT
Tobin's Spirit Guide for Dummies:
Finally, a manual for the rest of us!
-Now includes an expanded section on manifestations and unearthly presences!-
I have definitely got some H.P. Lovecraft sized rats in the walls.
"It's all about soul."
If I were a guy, I think this is what I would sing about me, the girl:
"She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes,
she can ruin your faith with her casual lies,
and she only reveals what she wants you to see.
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me.
She can lead you to love. She can take you or leave you.
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe you,
and she'll take what you give her, as long as it's free.
Yeah, she steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me.
Oh, she takes care of herself.
She can wait if she wants.
She's ahead of her time.
Oh, and she never gives out
and she never gives in;
she just changes her mind.
And she'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden,
then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding.
But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be.
Blame it all on yourself cuz she's always a woman to me...
She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel.
She can do as she pleases,she's nobody's fool,
and she can't be convicted she's earned her degree.
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you, but she's always a woman to me."
Yes, a sad self-portrait. Thanks, Billy.
Learning to take a joke will get you far in life...
...you humorless fucks.