Warning: Please be aware that this profile may contain strong violence and/or scariness, nudity and/or sexuality, the use of drugs and alcohol, and language. Please note that some disturbing images may be included. Viewer discretion is STRONGLY advised.
Some content may not be suitable for children, young adults, or anyone for that matter.
Viewer discretion is still strongly advised.
You've been warned.
Bye.
(Lookie! A tornado! and this is the ground)
The scariness begins with the cross of a monkey and a flamingo, and continues down wards.
(note: profile is yet to be finished and may take some time to write whole life story.)
(another note: this profile might end up being extremely long. You have been warned again.)
(one more note: I do realize that I should be on FanFiction.com, but remember that this is only a profile. I will...eventually write some stories on FictionPress.com...but not yet. I should write more about Flamingo the Green...sorry, I'm rambling on again.)
(I lied; FINAL NOTE: Read stories and poems created by NIGHT SKIES STARRY LIES. They are good. Trust me. Yes, Matsuo-sama; I am advertising you on my profile. Baka.)
I am a monkey. I am also a flamingo. Flamingo the Green. Me mum was a monkey, me dad was a flamingo. Kind of a shock when me dad found out. I come from a place called Earth where there are things we call 'humans'. We, the monkeys and flamingos, do not know much about these humans,or people as some call them. We simply know that they are odd creatures who have killed some from the animal kingdom for thousands of years. That is why there are barely any tigers and such in this dark world anymore. Damn humans. Those creatures eat us as if we are food. They train us to be what they call 'domestic pets' and 'circus animals' or any other type of thing where they believe they have control over us. We, the animals, shall come together and destroy all humans. After all, we were here first. Then, they came, killed us, ate us, polluted our world, and now we are all doomed to die even quicker. Those humans best watch themselves for now on. Mwahahahahaha.
- Flamingo the Green about his/her thoughts about humans and the world. I guess.
If you are wondering who Flamingo the Green is...too bad. I will not tell you. Flamingo the Green would like to keep his or her identity a secret. Well, I can honestly say that that's a lie. Flamingo the Green is world renowned; if you don't know who it is, then it will come and get you one night when you are sleeping.
Anyway, about me. Well, to start off, my name is Kumiko Saruwatari (note: last name comes first!) (another note: Kumiko Saruwatari means a beautiful child monkey on a crossing bridge. Woop!). No, I will not say my real name, because I'm not a baka like my friend Matsuo-sama. I am a witch. I spend most of my year at Hogwarts, in the Slytherin common room, playing mean jokes on the Mudbloods and Half-bloods. Well, to tell you the truth, I wouldn't make fun of them. I'd just kill 'Arry Potter, and reign over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. That's why those pansies, Crabbe and Goyle, worship me and call me Extarklof (meaning The-Next-Dark-Lord-Forever). I don't know why they follow me...it's really weird. One of these days, I may just have to Crucio their asses. That's how I spend my school year. For the holidays and summers, I go back to my nice and cozy house in Konohagakure. Last year, Iruka-sensei finally let me graduate. I thought that day would never come. What do I do now? Well, considering the fact that I am barely there, I never go on any missions. I just kind of...do nothing. My mum gets mad at me sometimes, but that's just how I am. I'm not that great of a ninja; I may even be worse than that Ino pig. That is scary, I must say. Nonetheless, it's the truth. I mean, I can't even use a Replacement Technique. I mean, I am kind of like bushy brows in that way, but I can't do any taijutsu either. So, that's my life...an evil little witch and a failure of a ninja. Hoe pathetic. Oh, well. I have more powers than the average human.
Oh yeah! I almost forgot! The other day, I was walking home from another hopeless day in Konohagakure (I had been...erm...giving Lee some elixir. Please don't tell Gai-sensei! It really isn't my fault that he told me about Lee's problem. Hmph. He'll have some mess to clean up when he gets back from his mission...WHAT?! I need some excitement in this town...and I thought it'd be funny!), and I came across a black notebook with the words 'Death Note' scribbled on top of it. Me, being the loser I am, took it because I wanted it for myself. Hey, what if it was someone's diary? Maybe Sasgay-kunt's? Oh, was I ever wrong. The Death Note...was a notebook that could kill anyone, as long as you knew their name and face. It works like this: you write someone's name into it, and their cause of death. If a cause of death was not written, forty seconds later the person would die of a heart attack. Heh. Doesn't sound realistic does it? I, myself, wrote the name of one I hated in it, because I thought, no, I knew, that it would never work. I wrote the name 'Mofugs' inside, and imagined it's face, which was very disturbing, and wrote down for the cause of death: Plane crash, on the way to Switzerland, Saturday, February 16th, 2008. Mofugs is the only one to die. It looked like this:
Mofugs, that, we'll call it grass for now, sucker. Plane crash, at 11:47 at night, on Saturday, February 16th, 2008, Mofugs is the only one to die (was traveling to Switzerland for it's foreign exchange program).
I switched on the televsion and began to watch. The current time was 11:45pm. I waited five minutes. Nothing. Then, as I was about to turn the tv off, the news reporter announced that a plane, that was on its way to Switzerland had just crashed! Of course, seeing that it had only been a few minutes since the crash, they did not know the name of the survivors. I was a little shocked at first, but I convinced myself that it was only a coincidence. Yes, it had to have been. I went to bed soon after, thinking, not about the Death Note, but about that elixir I had given bushy brows. I fell asleep, laughing at what I had done.
That night, I dreamt about the events of the day. I chuckled in my sleep when I saw Lee flying over Shikamaru's motionless body. Oh boy, was the lazy kid ever annoyed. For a moment, I thought he was actually going to get up and begin to battle Lee. Of course he hadn't though. I wish that would have happened, too. It'd would have been pure awesomeness. It would have been wonderfully wonderful. Lee ran away, and I couldn't help but to laugh even harder in my sleep at the way he was running.
Yes, I realize that I, Kumiko Saruwatari, have gone way off topic. This is my profile, and I'm pretty much telling my whole life story. I guess I am way too open, which is a complete and utter lie. But, since I'm some weird freak, I am telling everyone...about me! Anyway, Monday came, and I received the daily newspaper, which does not come out on Sundays. It said that a plane had crashed on its way to Switzerland, which I was already aware of, and that only one had died (note: it was Mofugs!). It had been a very gruesome death, apparently. I'll leave you to imagine it yourself. Needless to say, I was shocked. I almost fainted. Well, I almost fainted because of the fact I jumped a little when I read the news, and hit that damn DVD/VCR player that was above my head. Again. I say, it is evil. One day, I shall break it. Hopefully before it breaks me. Otherwise, I won't be able to break it because I will be broken. Makes sense, right?
I was sure this whole thing had had to be a huge coincidence. I was wrong, again. This time, I decided to use the Death Note on Emkide, a very, I repeat, VERY, annoying emo child who attends my school and dated Mofugs (very disgusting thought indeed). I made Mofugs die first because I knew he'd (or she'd. I'm not completely sure, but I really don't want to know) be happy, and emos HATE being happy, right? They love being all depressed, so that's why it was with the other it in the first place. So, when it died, I knew Emkide would be happy against his own will, and because he would be happy, he would be sad about the happiness and become even happier. Depression is his happiness; happiness is his depression. Are you still following?
Moving along...I knew Emkide would want to die in some awfully cool, awesomatic way (psh. As if I'd let that happen), so I planned a very, very, calm and joyful death. In case you didn't know, you can be happy when you die. I wrote down in the Death Note:
Emkide. February 28th, 2008. Taken away by the Care Bears. Sent to be with the Teletubbies. Jumps around joyfully, and, yellow Teletubby stabs him (with a spoon! or maybe a spork? no, spoon is good... those Teletubbies don't have many weapons, you know.). Dies as peacefully as possible and full of joy.
(By the way; if you are wondering why I am back in Konohagakure in February, my parents made me come home because they didn't want me around Pothead).
I set the date more than a week later because...I wanted him to suffer a week more in happiness. Heh. It was...odd, seeing him in music class, smiling away. Very odd. Funny, too, since he looked like a douche bag when he smiled. Scratch that; he's always been a douche bag. Always. The time has yet to come. I will see next Thursday if he is alive or not. Mwahahahahaha. (note: this will also test if Teletubbies and Care Bears are real. If they are...RUN! If not, Emkide should simply die from a heart attack...a happy one. Nonetheless, I will know if the Death Note is real...and it shall be gone! Get rid of all its and 'kunts'!).
(note: I know I have to stop writing notes. They're so mendokuse...)
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