I have MSN and use the Messenger. ekralc_inc@hotmail.com, add meh if you want to discuss stories or just want to talk about things like hairless bunnies. ROFL.
I'm random! points to previous statement
~~IN PROGRESS~~
Stories of the Mind: Book One
I've broken chapter 1 down into two sections for easier reading.
~~Favorite Books~~
The Sword of Truth by Terry Goodkind,
The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice,
Ender's Game & Ender's Shadow by Orson Scott Card,.
The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky,
Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe,
Glossary:
Unci: Grandmother
Unci M'ka: Mother Earth
Wakanyeja: Children
Sh'kata: Play (to play)
Tonpi Te: Literally means Dead Children, but in the context of my story is akin to having a c-section...
~~Tips for reviews~~
CHPTR ONE:
It's obvious that chapter 1 is very long. Please let me know if it is too long (i.e. actually read it and find out. If you don't have the time then feel free to print it and take it to bed.)
Do the Lakota words help any, or could the story go on withour them?
How are the names? Do you like/hate/loathe them?
CHPTR TWO:
I was hoping to be more intimate with the characters, especially Byoden and Viar. Let me know if there are parts that seem to be thrown in their and could easily be removed without breaking the scene (i.e. He rolled a cigarette and smoked it.) ---could the scene still prosper without something like that?
Are the Dream sequences vivid? Tell me if the scene is dull or if it needs more tweaking to get the visualation right.
I do return Reviews! I do constructive critisism. Even if you leave a review saying 'i liked it', you will be sure to recieve an extensive review of one of your fiction pieces. Thank You.
FictionPress.com - let the words flow
