i'm only writing one story. i'm not writing it so that other people can read it really. i'm writing it because i need to get all of it out. everything in my story is true. this is me. this is my story. i'm writing it down and putting it in a place where you can read it, not because i want the validation you could offer, not because i want reviews, but because i feel like maybe, just maybe, by putting all of this down and pushing it out there, i can take it away from myself. i'm tired of remembering all this in silence. it feels so immediate and so important and so overwhelming right now that i want the distance that this can offer. and maybe in time to come, reading this will help me understand myself and the others around me.