I am addicted to caffeine. Give me a Diet Pepsi and I will love you forever.

I have a distaste for sunlight and tanning. Fake tanner makes you orange, real tanning gives you wrinkles and skin cancer.

I loathe leggings with every fiber of my being.

Green Day is love.

Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means "you are." Y-O-U-R means "your." This really isn't a difficult concept.

I study History. If you ask me just what exactly I'm planning to do with that (in as derisive a tone as possible), I might hit you with a large blunt object (possibly a History textbook).

Eighteenth century fashion is utterly fantastic. Where else do you get giant powdered wigs depicting French naval victories?

I would marry David Sedaris if he were not fifty and gay (thereby negating the chance that he would be remotely interested in me).

My car is shiny and silver. I named it Edward.

I took German for a semester, but the only thing I remember is how to pay a compliment to a guy's backside. I think that will come in handy in life.

My profile photo is not me, as, obviously, I am not Clara Bow. She is dead.