how do i describe myself? i don't know. i've never met me yet. sometimes i doubt if i'd like me if i met me. do i make sense? i know i don't.
How I wish I could say that I’m the girl who earns stares from every breathing male within a hundred meter radius or the girl who moves with the grace of a ballerina or the girl who is the perfect example of beauty and brains or the girl with the most luck whose life is one big happy adventure full of twists and turns without the unnecessary potholes. Unfortunately, I am not. I am the girl nobody notices and everybody forgets. I am the girl who has a quota of five toe-stubbing accidents resulting to minor bruises per day. I am the girl who is 99 scatterbrained and 1 intelligent with no claim to beauty whatsoever. I am the ugly duckling who has no hope of ever becoming the lovely and graceful swan whose life consists of one straight boring road filled with all the customary puddles and the occasional dog poop. I am exaggerating, of course, but if you know how to subtract and add a little here and there then you’d arrive at the truth.
when i was in high school i'd like to believe that someday i'd be a sophisticated lady of the world but at my age i've found out one thing. i could never be that lady. i'm plebeian to the core. fine dining scares me. i steer clear of parties. i hate small talk during parties. i love fast food but i love street food more. i'd want to look fashionable but i'd rather be comfortable in jeans and a shirt.
even my choices in literature are unrefined. i only read the classics when class requires it of me. i haven't read a classic since college. i have nothing against the classics. they are good. they can't be classic if they're not but i can't stand books that require a lot of deep thinking and analyzing cause it takes so much energy to think. i read mostly cheesy romance novels now. sometimes i get to read the absurdly absurd ones with the highly unlikely coincidences and twisted relationships. at least i get a good laugh out of them. sometimes i come across the simple ones with the uncomplicated boring plots complete with stodgy characters. sometimes i get to read good ones with the perfect combination of laughter and tears. i read them all the same. these stories make my day. they take my mind off my worries. and when i'm lucky, sometimes i get to read rare gems of inspiration out of these seemingly ordinary and cheap reading materials.
i believe in God. i believe in Christ. i believe in heaven and in hell. i believe man is hopeless on its own. i would like to believe that i could control how my life goes but i know i can't. i believe i can only control how i act and react to whatever life throws my way but i can't control whatever stuff it deems to hurl at me. i believe life is like a ride with God as the driver and me as the passenger. i could either choose to be the nerve-racked backseat driver or i could choose to seat back, enjoy the ride and trust the Driver. these are my beliefs. in my world i have found these precepts to be true. you may not believe as i do but please don't judge me based only on these and i won't judge you based on yours.
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