5/8/09- I've changed my pen name to Sorrow's Smile, much due to the prompting from my friend Alice aka Caseus. I won 2nd place in a county poetry contest because of a poem about Josh/Jordan. Should I thank him?

Hi my name is YingYing and I'm in 8th grade somewhere in a school in Pennsylvania.

If you are here, you are here because you read my story Anonymous Stalker. That was not a question. If you haven't, you have absolutely no right to be her reading my Bio. Because reading this is rather redundant when I put my heart into Anonymous Stalker. And your heart is the most important part of you, right?

That was not a question.

Since you've read Anonymous Stalker, I have no doubt that you are immensely curious about me and about Jordan/Josh. I call him the-one-who's-name-I-will-not-mention. Abbreviated TOWNIWNM for short. Pronounced Town-im.

He is currently fine, I assure you. I haven't quite gotten around to murdering him yet. Too much to do, my story to update, my math teacher to appease, Zack Crow to pour milk on, Trey to slap, my sister to yell at--you see, I just haven't managed to squeeze out the 2 seconds it will take to murder him and the 20 years I will have to be in jail for.

Speaking of my story, Mermaid Song, I haven't gotten around to putting the 5th chapter up. I'm lazy. Sorry!!

So, I wrote a lot poems about TOWNIWNM. And stories. He doesn't care. I just use him as inspiration. I mean, he's the only guy I've ever liked in my entire life. Not a lot of experience. I don't have any other major events to get my ideas from. So even if I desperately want something else to write about, I can't find anything else. Reading Nora Roberts' romance novels has not helped at all. AHHH! If he knew I was still writing poems about him, he would gloat. And I don't want him to gloat. He would look ugly if he gloated, even more ugly than he is now.

He looks extremely ugly now, with his braces, circus jacket, and skinny jeans. And he doesn't even skateboard, so why is he wearing Fallens?? Not getting it...

I technically should give him more credit. I mean, he didn't tell the whole school like I thought he would. Evidently, the only people he told were his friends. Hmmm...that turned out to be a bad thing, since most of the school thought I liked this really girly guy who just happens to be best friends with all of my friends. But that's over now.

He's still a Benedict Arnold. Never even an apology. He sees me, he sees through me. Just like always.

My friend Alice, aka Tasting Insanity wrote a story about me getting the ultimate revenge on him: stuffing his locker with porn. That could work, actually...Read it, it's called Revenge and tell me what you think.

So go on hating him, as I'm sure you do after reading Anonymous Stalker. Take revenge if you want to. Here is his information, though he already left it in his review of my story:

Myspace: /josh_scubasteve

Email: jjsciubba13@yahoo.com

Aim: bballptchr13

My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.

-YingYing

2/13/09-Jordan/Josh now has a Facebook. I friended him..after I bullied him around a little...and now I know that he and Victoria broke up. I'm not sure who broke up with who. I also found out his email: jjsciubba13@yahoo.com. So not creative. And after reading his personal info on his Facebook, I found out that now he skateboards. SINCE WHEN? POSER!

2/3/09 Jordan/Josh got back together with Victoria on 1/23. I just haven't been checking his myspace frequently enough. Well, that makes sense. They're neighbors. But seriously...after she dumped him? Pathetic much?

12/29/08- Ok, Jordan/Josh has another new girlfriend. I kind of saw this one coming. Her name is Victoria; she's this 7th grade girl that lives in his neighborhood. They've always been accused of liking each other. Particularly Victoria. The kids on the bus used to make fun of her for her glasses and braces. But she's kind of nice...I guess. The two of them used to walk home together every day in the fall. Classic "childhood-friends-in-love" syndrome. Just like so many stories on Fictionpress.

Ok never mind, I think she dumped him. His myspace banner says blah and his status is "dead". Doesn't seem like they're still going out. Wow, that one barely lasted a week.

11/8/08- Josh/Jordan and Dana broke up. Wow, they were only together for about a month. That's how long he and Sabrina lasted! Is he only capable of keeping his girlfriends for one month? I feel like cheering and giving a cynical frown at the same time. Maybe I'll do both...

10/9/08- Jordan/Josh has a new girlfriend named Dana. They have, like matching sweatshirts and everything. They stroll along in the halls together and his headline on Myspace is "I love you dana". It's disgusting, but kind of amusing in a way. Just go on his myspace to see for yourself.

9/26/08 Today is Jordan/Josh's birthday. Message him if you want and wish him a happy birthday. If you do, be sure to tell him I hate him! Thanks!

9/25/08 SORRY I CHANGED MY PENNAME AGAIN to Heart of the Tide. It makes more sense? Not really. Anyhow, it's just more like me. And I promise not to change it again within the next two months.

9/23/08 Yes I changed my penname to Shattered Valentine. It sounds, I don't know, cooler? Tell me what you think.

Ways to annoy/scare people in an elevator:
1) Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
2) Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters, look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
3) Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
4) Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
5) Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
6) Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
7) Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball.
8) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
9) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
10) Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
11) Hum the theme to Jeopardy.
12) Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
13) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
14) Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
15) Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.
16) Stare at another passenger for a while, then scream “You’re one of THEM!” and cower to the far corner of the elevator.
17) When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!
18) When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
19) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
20) When the elevator doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay! Don’t panic, they’ll open again.”
21) Swat at flies that aren't there
22) Shave
23) Crack open your purse and while peering down inside, ask, "Do you have enough air down there?"
24) Start a sing-along
25) Play the harmonica
26) Whenever someone gets on the elevator, say in a deep voice, "Get out."
27) Bring a Twister mat and ask if people want to play.
28) Call the Psychic Hotline from your phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
29) Stand really close to someone and sniff them occasionally.
30) Listen to the walls of the elevator with a stethoscope.
31) Start grinning at another passenger and say in a cheerful voice, "I've got new socks on."
32) Whistle the first 7 notes of "It's a Small World" over and over again.
33) Draw a square in the corner with a piece of chalk and then say to the other people, "This is my personal space. Don't invade or I'll bite you."
34) Offer name tags to everyone and wear yours upside down.
35) Sell Girl Scout cookies
36) Meow occasionally.
37) Walk with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side
38) Say "Ding" at each floor
39) Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
40) Break dance to elevator music.
41) Act like you are having a seizure
42) Blow spit bubbles
43) Set up a lemonade stand
44) Lean casually against the button panel
45) Say conversationally to the person next to you, "They're still watching me."
46) Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go." Then, sigh and say, "Oops."
47) On the highest floor, demand that the door stay open until you hear the penny that you dropped down the shaft go "plink".
48) Burp and then say, "Mmm, tasty."
49) If anyone brushes against you, recoil and scream, "Bad touch!"
50) Calmly inform everyone of your homocidal tendencies while insanely laughing.

PS. I would not recommend really trying these. But hey, knock yourself out.