Howdy! I bet you're probably wanting to see a picture

of some kind. Yeah, well, u and me both, but i just couldn't

figure out how to get the dumb picture on it so... this is what u get.

For starters, if ur at all interested in me, continue reading, and ill

do my best to keep it interesting.

I hate: humungous flirts, nonchalant males, bad pride, melted icecream,

boys with sharp tongues, loneliness, frizzy hair (this one visits me a

lot), and being parted from friends.

I love: talking with everyone and anyone (im quite the socail bug), Jesus and God (basically the Trinity)

rainy days (don't laugh :)),

writing on rainy days,

doing art, playing my music, nerds (the candy), polka dots, and (of course!!) LAUGHING!!

Now, the things i have completed... well, ive written three books and the fourth one's

getting there. I've written more short stories than hairs on your head and

have completed about how many are on your grandad's head. I write for my

city's newspaper. I've been part of a

'support the troops' group and helped with that. I've traveled like a business man (well,

woman, in my case:)) and still haven't stopped yet. I do art and Bible teaching for all ages,

younger and older. And like most other people on here, I'm into art, too. I love sports and activity...

so... fun stuff like that.

My friends in real life are sirbenkelley, Singlikeno1islistening (phew! try saying that five times fast!), renee elfton, and grace e. lane. seriously, go check out their stuff and see the crazy people that i call my friends! :)

I hope not to have drawn u into boredom too incredibly much. I just hope my

stories are better than that. :)) review, if u wish, and get back to me. and who knows?

if ur reviews are intersting enough, odds are ill check out ur stories and let u know

what i think.

HASTA LUEGO! (See? I actually know how to spell it thanks to my osome friend Robbertomo Jerome Straightpen:))

Here are some pretty osome things that i've picked up. No, i didn't write them and i have no clue who did. But the ones i do know, i'll let u know. So, ENJOY!!

"I'm confused... no, maybe I'm not."

"I'm not random. You just can't think as fast as i can!"

"Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs."

"You're slower then a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

"Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."

"Whoever thought to pull those things hanging underneath a cow and drink whatever came out?"

"Boys are like trees- they take fifty years to grow up!"

"Don't worry, Zoey! Once you complete God's goal for you in life, YOU'LL DIE!!"- my good friend

Conversation with my mom to prove how ditzy i am (as though there was ever any doubt):

Zoey: Mom, why does Dominos have that little key pad outside the door?

Mom: So then they won't steal... (she waited for me to fill in)

Zoey: the recipe!!

Yeah, well, if u get it and understand why that's wrong, u get a gold star! If not... toehead should be a real friendly word for you.

Conversation between my sister and my dad:

Dad: Did you know that gas now a days is four dollars a gallon but water varies anywhere from eight to twelve dollars a gallon? Now, what does that tell you?

Sister: That we should drink gas.

To this day, we have no clue what point he was trying to make!

Conversation between my friend Willy and my other friend Dayton:

Dayton: So who do you sit with at lunch?

Willy: Oh, everybody! They just flock to me!

Dayton: Yeah, like buzzards to a dead carcass!

lol!... well, i thought it was funny!

My friend Singlikeno1islistening (above) was trying to think of ways to describe a boy in our class...

SLNOIL: Yeah, Jonah's just a very annoying boy! He's picky... nosy... oh wait!!

rofl!! Gotta love her!

In Geography class:

Teacher: And that's where that car is made.

Me: Cool! Where do bugs come from??

Teacher:... um, other bugs, I guess.

Yeah, he's the cookiest, most lovable teacher ever. lol

Mel Brooks' quotes: (i have no clue who this dude is but i just liked his quotes! lol:)

"Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him."

"If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively!" (Amen!)

"Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you."

"You're always a little disappointing in person beause you can't be the edited essence of yourself."

Bob Hope quotes (again, a dude whom I had no clue existed until i read these)

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it."

"A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with a heart burn?"

"I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance- waiting for the bathroom."

"I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty."

"Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning."

"The only thing chicken about is Israel is their soup."

Gerald R. Ford quotes (finally, someone I know!)

"I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators."

"If Lincoln were alive today he'd be turning over in his grave."

"Teddy Roosevelt ... once said, 'Speak softly and carry a big stick.' Jimmy Carter wants to speak loudly and carry a flyswatter."

"Tell the truth, work hard, and come to dinner on time."

"The pat on the back, the arm the shoulder, the praise for what was done right and the sympathetic nod for what wasn't are as much a part of golf as life itself."

~End of quotes. Exit to the right, please~

"Those who don't know me think i'm quiet. Those who do wish i was."

"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! What do we do? We swim, swim, swim! Hahahaha! I love to swiiiiimmm!"- DORY!!

"There's no eating here tonight! No! No! No eating here tonight! You on a di-et!"- DORY!!

"Stop blowing holes in my ship!"- Jack from Pirates of the Caribbean!

"Love is patient. Love is kind... love means slowly losing your mind,"- Kevin on 27 Dresses!

"Hey! I'm gliding here!"- Gracie on Miss Congeniality!

"I've seen icebergs move faster!"- a movie whose name escapes me

"Everything in this room is eatable. Even I am eatable. But that, my friend, is called cannibalism, which is frowned upon in most societies today!"- Willy Wonka on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

"I don't believe it! I brought you guys down here to defend me against these characters and the only person on my side is the blood-sucking lawyer!"- Dr.John from Jurassic Park!

"Remind me to thank John for the lovely weekend."- Ian from Jurassic Park!! :)

"You got my bus! My double-decker bus!!"- Rick from The Mummy 2! (I LOVE that movie! The first one is totally better, though!)

"If you see anyone running away screaming... it's me."- Jonathan from the Mummy 2! (hehe!)

"Stop with the fat lady! You're obesessed with the fat lady!"- David on Independence Day!! (awesome movie :))

"Horth growmones" as opposed to "Growth hormones"- my darling older sister

"Okay, we need to get in and out of the store really fast, so no impulse buying unless it's chocolate!"- my other darling older sister :)

"It's not Democrats! It's Demobrats!"- my friend

"There may not be an 'I' in 'team', but there is a 'me'!"- my other friend

"Arkansas- what Noah used to build."- my friend's dad

"Potential- that fancy French word for aint done it yet!"- my dad :)

"Challenged" is the politically correct way for saying "RETARD!"- my friend

"She looks like she fell through the ugly tree and didn't miss a branch... and then the tree fell on her!"- my cousin

"The word 'politics' is derived from the Latin word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites."- Larry Hardiman

Once, Al Gore was caught on camera walking into a room with pictures hanging all around the walls of men. He looked at them and then said, "Who are these guys?" They were the presidents.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just one review, paste this into your profile.

If you feel like it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would trump boys for a chocolate chip cookie, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever gotten writer's block before, paste this into your profile.

If you got milk, copy and paste this into you profile.

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How come the sky isn't pink? Why do we live in buildings called 'apartments' if they're all stuck together? How come we drive on parkways and park on driveways? If two goose are geese then how come two moose aren't meese? Did you know that the dirtiest place in the world is the hand sanitizer bottle? Some people call me weird. I think I'm just random. If you're random and proud of it then copy and paste this into your profile and add something to the list!

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuol't blveiee taht I cluod aulactly uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rsceearch at Cmabridge Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs, cpoy and ptsae tihs itno yuor pofirle!

If your one of the people who like to copy and paste these things on to your profile, copy and paste this on to your profile.

"You know you live in 2008 when

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did."

Yo mama list of funnies :)

1. yo mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas money

2. yo mama is so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch

3. yo mama is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side

4. yo mama is so stupid she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it

5. yo mama is so fat when she goes to the movies she has to buy 7 tickets

6. yo mama is so fat when she sits around the house she really sits around the house

7. yo mama is so fat when she drives toward the town bridge the officer pulls her over and says sorry this bridge can only take 5 tons

8. yo mama is so ugly when she entered the ugly contest they said sorry no professionals

9. yo mama is so ugly she looked out the window and was arrested

10. yo mama is so ugly she has no reflection

11. yo mama is so poor when she walked in the front door she came out the back

"If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', is 'Congress' the opposite of 'progress'?"

'Once a man was trying to find God's will for his life. So he randomly opened up his Bible and pointed. It read, "And Judas went forth and hung himself.' "Oh no!!" he panicked. "Let's try again." So he pointed again. This time it read, 'And do ye also likewise.' "Oh no! One more time!" This time it read, 'And whatsoever ye do, do it quickly.'- the moral of the story is: have a plan for your devotions.'- i love this!!

Once, a friend of mine ordered a diet water at a restaurant. When they brought it to him, he tasted it, and then sent it back saying it wasn't a diet.

Galatians 2:20: "I am crucified with Christ, and nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me." I did that from memory so I apologize if I messed up in there... God is good!!

Coming soon: a new chapter of Once Upon a Photo and possibly a story called Silver Blood... idk... we'll see. :)