ATTENTION!!

The stories published under this account are the sole property of Stephaniiie-Jo. They may not be copied, published or posted elsewhere.

PLAGIARISM

I hate plagiarism. Having had one of my fics plagiarised TWICE now, I am really annoyed and totally prepared to deal with any sort of plagiarism. So if you like or respect me or my writing, you will not copy it. Or even if you just like or respect yourself, you won't do it because I'm not going to be nice anymore. I WILL NOT give warnings about reporting, I will just do it and your profile will get deleted. You have no idea how close I have come to giving up and taking down all of my stories because of this but I refuse to be knocked down because some people have no imagination and can't think up their own stories. Seriously, if you think you will be able to get away with plagiarising anything on this page, you are very wrong. Because I have the most amazing readers on the planet who will accept no imitations and tell me right away. I know this sounds paranoid but I'm sure that if you were in my place, you'd be very cautious as well.

"An original writer is not one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate"

Consider yourself warned.

Yeah... story of my life XD

If life is a journey, then death is the destination. So, if I were you, I'd enjoy the ride before it's too late. Live, don't just exist.

Everyday you should smile, love and live a little bit more than you did the day before.

'Your life is out there. It's like a book. Each day is a new page, each month is a new chapter and each year is a sequel. But your book is going to be empty if you don't live your life. So fill the pages.' -My best friend Polly

In short, my name is Steph, I am sixteen years old and in my last year of school. I am also English and very proud of that fact :D Here are a few things you might like to know about me:

- I love life :D If you're on of those people that stuffs others into stereotypes judging by the sorts of music they like, then my music taste genersaly suggests that I am an emo, but that could not be further from the truth. Honestly, ask my friends, I'm always smiling, and I like to think that if you could describe me in three words, they would be: happy, bubbly and obsessive.

-I spend my whole life over on fanfiction.net. That is why I never update over here. I live, love and breathe Twilight (yes, like every other teenage girl in the world, but I actually liked it before it was a movie, and before Rob Pattinson practically murdered Edward Cullen :() If you want to talk to me/ read somerthing better than is posted on here, I'd advise going to my ff profile which is here. And yes, two of the stories I posted on here started as fanfictions first.

The following words just about sum up my life:

-TWILIGHT. Anyone who knows me will tell you of my obsession. It's not the sort of thing where my mum will go: "Yes. She's obsessed. And I'm saying this because she told me to." No. It's at the stage where if anyone mentions anything twilight-related, even just the name Edward/ Alice/ Bella/ whatever, my Mum will go to all costs to cover my ears and prevent me from hearing it so I can talk about it for hours on end. I'm that bad.

-PRIMEVAL. Another of my obsessions. Although I have to admit that series 3 is not good at all. They're just getting rid of everyone and its pissing me off.

-DOCTOR WHO. Well, David Tennant. That man is HOT. 'Nuff said.

-Obsessed. My friend Cathy reckons that I never just like something, I get obsessed. She sees it as one of my many bad points. I, however, beg to differ.

-FANFICS. I lovelovelove fanfictions. I spend hours at a time reading them and probably even longer writing them. I have 26 stories posted but a few are on hiatus. My profile is here.

-READING. I read other stuff as well as fanfics. Mostly Twilight which I almost know off by heart. But I like other stuff as well.

-WRITING. My biggest dream ever is to get a book published. I don't want to meet the queen or become famous, I just want to be a published author. Like everyone else on this site, but there we go.

- MY FAMILY. I love my family so much. I know this sounds corny and like something someone winning an oscar would say but it's true. They are all so supportive of everything I do and, though they will never read this ever, I just wanted to give them a shout out because I love them all so much.

-MY FRIENDS. I could not live without my friends. They are so good to me and I probably don't deserve it. But each and every one of them puts up with my weirdness and annoyingness and I want to thank them for it. Polly, Hannah M, Cathy, Hannah B, Jade B, Jade O, Rhia, Laettie, even just the people that are forced to sit next to me in class... everyone that comes into contact with me at school and probably thinks "Oh my God. What a weirdo." But is kind enough not to say it out loud. Thanks so much guys. You made school a happy place to be after a really tough time. I love you all to bits and you have no idea how much you have helped me.

-MY LAPTOP. This is one of my most prized possessions. I could not live without it.

-MUSIC. Oh my freaking Carlisle. I love my music. I recently bought an ORANGE iPod and that is my other baby XD Here is a list of the music I love.

-TAYLOR SWIFT. That girl is amazing. She has her feet planted in the ground and writes all her own music. She is totally un-fake and has an amazing voice. She is a role-modle to many teenage girls and rightfully so. Needless to say, I am one of the girls that idolises her.

-PARAMORE. They rule. They rock. Whatever. They make good music.

-HEY MONDAY. OMC. This group is fantastic. AND I've seen them live XD

-KELLY CLARKSON. Going to see her in February and I am soo excited :D

-BOYS LIKE GIRLS. WOW! They rule :D

-THE VERONICAS. Seriously awesome. They actually rock.

EVERY AVENUE. STEREO SKYLINE. OUT OF SIGHT. ALL TIME LOW. THE FRIDAY NIGHT BOYS. GO AUDIO. NEW FOUND GLORY. OWL CITY. A ROCKET TO THE MOON. WE THE KINGS. PIXIE LOTT. S CLUB 7. KELLY CLARKSON. COLBIE CALLAIT. GIRLS ALOUD. PINK. RIHANNA. JORDIN SPARKS. LA ROUX. KATE NASH. KATY PERRY. PALOMA FAITH... there's loads :D And I'm still open for suggestions :D

If you want to PM me, then go right ahead. Your messages are more than welcome and I am a right chatterbox so I will probably reply. Directly below this is just a load of copy&paste stuff so you don't have to read any more if you don't want to.

And... that's me :D Now please R&R my stories - it means a lot :D

Steph

(And now the copy & paste things:)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, then it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

okay dokey... the crazy thing pretty much sums me up!

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

LOL LOL LOL

"Come to the dark side, we have edward cullen!"

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.

2. The future is not set in stone.

3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.

4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.

5. True love knows no boundaries.

6. Some people are just danger magnets.

7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.

8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!

9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.

10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.

11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.

12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.

13. Family is about more than just blood.

14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.

15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.

16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.

17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.

18. There are exceptions to every rule.

19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.

20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.

21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.

22. Cold hands = Warm heart.

23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.

24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.

25. Romeo was an idiot.

26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.

27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.

28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.

29. Space heaters can be very annoying.

30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you wished you could either own or star in primeval copy and paste this onto your profile

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Cullen: Luckier That You since 1987

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you wished you could either own or star in primeval copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile(Try 450 pg + book in less then one day)For some reason i don't think i should be proud of that.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile(Try 450 pg + book in less then one day)For some reason i don't think i should be proud of that.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

sarcasm; my anti drug.
if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!
(i try not to hurt there feelings. lol. :)=. )

i speak fluent sarcasm.

are yhu stoned
or just stupid.!

yea im one of those crazy overly obsessive teenage girls.
forget a prince with a horse, i want a vampire with a volvo.

bob tried to take my twilight books. bob isnt with us anymore.

Edward Cullen: the 107 year old virgin.

Edward can bust my headboard, bite my pillows, and bruise my body anyday.!

Twilight is like crack, only better.!

fall down again bella?
no emmett i punched a werewolf in the face.

I got bit by edward an i liked it.

twilight; the reason girl acroos the world are suddenly and madly in love with vampiress.

Twilight addict.

whenever i get happy or calm all of a sudden i look around for jasper.

Team edward cause jacob doesnt sparkle.

dearest edward, dammit why arent you real.!

i have trouble admitting edward cullenis a fictional charater.

do that again and ill give you a papercut in front of Jasper.

you havent read twilgiht.! yhu fail at life.!

i am a twilightaholic.

A Twilight Survey:

Which book in the series is your favorite?

Next. XD Any but not New Moon- always makes me cry.

How long did it take you to read the books?

Twilght- about a week. New Moon - About 5 hours XD. Yes all in a row. Eclipse - About the same as NM. Breaking Dawn - 2 1/2 Days.

Who introduced you to the books?

I can't actually remember. See? My life before Twilight was so bad that I can't even remember it! XD

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

I Borrowed The First three and then I couldn't get hold of BD so I just went 'ah, stuff it' and spent all the money I owned on it. Money well spent is all I can say. I got given the rest of the books for Christmas, but I had already read them at least three times each XD

What's your dream ending to the series?

Oooh. I'm Happy With How It Ended.

Who is your favourite character?

Edward/ Alice

Who's your favourite vampire?

Edward/ Alice

Who is your favourite werewolf?

Seth - Definately.

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

Chapter 20 (compromise) in Eclipse

What was your favourite Bella and Jacob moment?

I don't have one. I hate Jacob.

How about your favourite Bella and Alice moment?

When Alice comes back in NM.

What was your favourite adventure/battle?

The Fight With The Newborns In Eclipse.

Which book cover was your favourite?

Twilight

Are these books among your favorite books of all?

Do you even have to ask??

Twilight or New Moon?

Twilight - Hands Down

New Moon or Eclipse?

Eclipse - Hands Down

Eclipse or Twilight?

Oooh. Now that's hard. Both equal

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

TEAM EDWARD. I even have the t-shirt and I had to wait six weeks. I swear I never take it off.

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?

Edward.

Bella or Jacob?

Bella.

Bella or Alice?

Alice.

Alice or Jacob?

Alice - Obviously.

Rosalie or Alice?

Alice.

Jasper or Alice?

Alice.

Jasper or Edward?

Edward.

Carlisle or Esme?

Carlisle.

Emmett or Jasper?

Emmett.

Emmett or Jacob?

Emmett.

Bella or Rosalie?

Bella in Twilight and BD. Rose in the other two, I think...

Esme or Charlie?

Esme.

Charlie or Carlisle?

Carlisle.

Charlie or Billy?

Charlie.

Jacob or Sam?

Sam.

Sam or Quil?

Quil.

Quil or Embry?

Dunno.

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria.

Werewolves or Vampires?

Vampires - Obviously.

How did you first find out about the movie?

Internet :D

Are you excited?

It's Already Out, But Yeah I Was! I Want To See New Moon Now! The trailer is INCREDIBLE!!

What do you think of the casting so far?

It's Great, And The New Moon Casting Is As Well!

Are you going to go see it?

Already Seen It! 3 times in the cinema and had a twilight partay when it came out on DVD :D

If it were possible...who would you most want to meet in person?

Edward- mmmmm. Or Jacob Just So I Could Hurt Him. I Think Alice Would Be Awesome To Meet As Well!

Regular lions say ROAARR.

Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU

Sad lions say roooaaar.

Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!

If you belive your own Edward Cullen is out there somewhere, add this.

Edward Cullen: Hotter, Spicier, and Sexier than you since 1901

I have read Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse more than 8 times...wow I love those flaming books... and I'm Team Edward 100 percent!

You're laughing at me now because your older than me by mere months... but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? ;-)

Boys are like slinkeys... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs(except Edward Cullen of course!!)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, post this.

If you are one of those people who sees two reviews and gets excited, post this.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this!

Come over to the good side, we have Edward Cullen and chocolate!

"Beth! Can I borrow 20p? Edward Cullen is over there with a big sign that says '20p and I'll bite you!' Beth turns around and sees nothing. "MWAHAHAHA!", I laugh maniacally.

10 seconds later... "Beth, can I borrow 30p? Edward Cullen is over there with a big sign that says '30p and I'll bite you!' Beth turns and sees nothing. "MWAHAHAHAHA!", I laugh maniacally.

10 seconds later... "Beth, can I borrow 40p? Edward Cullen is over there with a big sign that says '40p and I'll bite you!' Beth turns and sees nothing. And here's me thinking "How stupid can you get?"

Huh... It figures, all the good guys are taken, vampires, or both(and I'm looking at you Edward!)

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

If you're planning to form a mob to attack Stephenie's publisher because you want Breaking Dawn now, copy this into your profile.

If you get pissed and throw a fit until all the people in the room run away whenever someone says the characters in Twilight aren't real, copy this into your profile.

If you want Bella to become a vampire, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world copy this into your profile (mine is Twilight related! ;-) )

If you've reread Twilight more than 4 times, copy into you profile. (Now it will just say :you know the drill)

If you've ever talked to yourself, you know the drill.

If you think being unique is better than being cool, you know the drill.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, you know the drill.

If you would jump under a speeding train for a date with Edward Cullen, you know the drill.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs/tripped and laughed because it was something Bella would do, then you cried cause' Edward wasn't there to catch you, you know the drill.

If you think the Twilight series is the best series known to woman...(and possibly man), you know the drill.

You know your addiction to Twilight is lethal when you've added 'Volterra' to your computer's dictionary, if you've done this, you know the drill.

If you think Edward Cullen is sexy/hot/absolutley drop dead gorgeous, you know the drill!

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN THEN COPY AND PASTE INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!!

If you're absolutley in love with Stephenie Meyer's character Edward, from the Twilight series, you know the drill.

If you think losers hate/don't get Twilight, you know the drill.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that when you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball, you know the drill.

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Don't take life to serouly, no one gets out alive anyway

Life's tough...Get a helmet

I can be Mrs. Cullen, you can be Mrs. Black you can die and I can live forever!

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

My VAMPIRE can beat up your WEREWOLF!!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

"Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you." ~ Emmett Cullen

"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." ~ Walt Disney

You know you live in 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7.As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
10. You were too busy to notice number five.
11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did. (Yup, every SINGLE time!)

BEST FRIENDS 'N FRIENDS:

FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS:Call your parents Mr. and Mrs., and grandma and grandpa

BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process

FRIENDS: Never see you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you

BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in his/her body if he/she hurts you

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better

BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BESTFRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move

BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: help you up when you fall

BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: give you their umbrella in the rain

BESTFRIENDS: take yours and say, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

FRIENDS: wipe your tears when you're rejected

BESTFRIENDS: goe up to him and say, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

BESTFRIENDS: Have you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff and give it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS:Lose your stuff and tell you, "my bad .. here's a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: Have to be told not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl, drink the rest of that you know we don't waste"

FRIENDS: Comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: Go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: Bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: Sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: Are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think you're insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: Come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: Are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: Are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: Kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: Are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: Will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: Don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: Are asking why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS: Dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: Dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: Call you retarded for running through the bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (ask MangoTango450 if you want to know)

BEST FRIENDS: Are screaming and running with you

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS:Will repost this crap.

My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

18. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.

"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more.

25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.

"If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."

26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

One fine day in the middle of the night, Two dead boys got up to fight. Back-to-back they faced one another, Drew their swords and shot each other. One was blind and the other couldn't see, So they chose a dummy for a referee. A blind man went to see fair play, A dumb man went to shout "hooray!" A deaf policeman heard the noise, And came and shot the two dead boys. A paralysed donkey walking by, Kicked the copper in the eye, Sent him through a rubber wall, Into a dry ditch and drowned them all. (If you don't believe this lie is true, Ask the blind man -- he saw it too!)

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.

Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.(We don't usually picture guys naked we picture what it would be like to kiss you then get over it and move on.)

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it.

If you like chocolate as much as I do (which is ALOT), copy this in your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this in it to make it even longer.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give that god-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, then copy this into your profile.

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread chapter 23 of TWILIGHT over eight times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. (That's why I write on FF!)

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. (Not like he needs anymore anyway...)

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you think Shakespear's view of female charectors is mysogynistic copy and paste this into your profile.

If you actually know what mysogynistic means copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile.

If you would love to have wings, post this in your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. (Gets really aggravating after a while...)

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile .

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and pastethis into your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile. (Right after I finished reading the sign...)

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile. (Stupid immobile walls...)

If you still laugh rereading Twilight, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Maximum Ride, Twilight), copy and paste this into your profile!

If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', then what is the opposite of 'progress'?

If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile. (All the time...)

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Yup, usually during awkward or normal silences...)

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. (...twenty...)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (You're on it)

If you think it would be hilarious to see Bella beat Emmett in an arm wrestling match, put this in your profile.

92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8 that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile. (Every time... ;p)

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile. (Poor Michael... from Prison Break for anyone that doesn't know...shame)

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you complian that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you dont just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile. (...Guilty...)

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile. (Only if the martians don't give them back)

If you thought Breaking Dawn was completly AWESOME, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you think Edward is perfect for Bella, paste this onto your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile. (My car)

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile. (Doesn't go up hills well...)

If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer,GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY CHERRIOS.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

That is called a wall. but beware the wall is solid. yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me, for i have attempted this many times before.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (Dirty, I know)

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if there is a 'wet paint' sign somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Yesterday is history...tomorrow is a mystery...but today is a gift...that is why it is called the present.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

I pryde miself with mi speeling. If yu do two, copy and past this on to yor profile :D

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

this is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)

Random Funny Junk (well it's funny to me)

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When life hands you lemons, throw 'em back and demand Edward (or emmett lol)

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Pointless Things to Copy and Paste into your Profile!

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this to your profile.

If you try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them, copy and paste to your profile.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have spent a whole day reading Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse, without any food, copy and paste this to your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volturi" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you have so many dreams about Twilight that you have lost count, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.

Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. (I found that I'm a very tough opponent.) If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile.

This is a true story:

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless piece of s!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)

I want child abuse to stop! and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile Thank you to flamin. guitarist for posting this in your profile and for letting others read it.

My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cant see,
must be stid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid
I'm sradishing to cry
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door
He's already locked it
And I sradish to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor
My name is Sarah
I am but three
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me

CHILD ABUSE...MAKE IT STOP!!Please, be aware that child abuse happens everyday, and it isn't just physical, it's emotional too, and sometimes that hurts more than a beating from your parents. Physical abuse scars you on the outside and that pain will go away, but emotional abuse scars you on the inside and the pain of being called worthless never goes away. So please, help stop the abuse.

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

Don't Like My "Twilight" Obbsession?
　Bite Me.

And finally... who thinks that this is one of the longest profiles that they've ever had the pleasure of scrolling past? XD

Or reading. And if you've read it, then congratulations- I have just wasted about half an hour of your life. Seriously. Look at the clock. I know. Time flies, doesn't it?

"IT IS BETTER TO BE FASCINATINGLY WRONG THAN BORINGLY RIGHT"