Do you feel lucky, punk? Do you? Who am I? I will not tell you who i am. address me as...SHIZNAT!!1!...or Shane.

Yes, i have had sugar...and caffiene...:P

My age is unimportant, but i suppose you'd like a description of me. Too bad, cuz you ain't gettin one!.

Well, hi. Uh, I guess I can tell you that I am a, indeed, a female. Technically, anyway. I prefer to wear men's clothing more than not. Pink is evil and should burn in hell with all the really bad people. But not the Playboy Bunnies, cuz they're awesome! X3 Black is awesome, and so is red and silver gray. Those are good colors. Blue, purple, and green are okay so long as they're dark, and white is cool.

I go to church and I do believe in God and that Jesus is our savior who gave his life to pay for our sins so that we don't have to. Let me get this straight, though. I am NOT one of those crazy religious ppl who go around criticizing and cursing ppl and saying they're going to hell for being gay or being a slut or anything like that. (I like girls) I respect anyone's beliefs and just go on with my life. Except Satanists, like Marilyn Manson. They're going to Hell, so it's not like I'd be insulting them. They want to go there. Shit, they're gonna get a rude awakening when they die!

Hummm...I love the Snuffle Bunny song! It's so cute! Go listen to it on Youtube!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a screaming competition with your friends or family while driving down the highway, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. Checks my pulse- yep I'm still alive. lol

If you aspire to walk through a drive-through, put this on your profile.

If you've gone into a chain restaurant wearing a formal suit/dress, put this in your profile.

If you're tired of these things bossing you around, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your best friends are your consciences, put this in your profile.

you have ever said that an anime character is sexy and you love them and you mean it, copy and paste this into your profile

"I'm bringing sexy back..." copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you are called 'weird' at least five times a day, post this into your profile

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip and slide.

I agree with the dictionary; girls before boys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obssess! I think intensely.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste.

I find "good morning" contradictory

My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then?

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

I think I could be madly in like with you

Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again

Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better", but best friends will prank call him/her whispering "seven days..."

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car.

A friend helps you when you fall; a best friend says "Walk much, dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella when it rains; a best friend takes your's and says "RUN, BEEP, RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected; a best friend walks up to him/her and says "It's because you're gay/straight, isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail; a best friend will be in the room next to you saying "THAT WAS FREAKING AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

A good friend helps you when you fall. A best friend laughs trips you again, and maybe helps you up.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass.

It's always the last place you look...well of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

If you are a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, C&P

If you are one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste

Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree C&P!!

If you have your own little world, C&P

93 precent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would ask, "What was your first clue?" copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, C&P this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

If you've ever had a laughing fit for no reason copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

ANNOYING THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR!

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

16 THINGS IM GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Favorite Sayings and Quotes...

"Payback's a bitch, ne, sweetie?"

"Holy ShizNat!"

"Software for my hardware."

"You know you're having a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor."

"Damn it all to Hell and back in a fucking hand basket."

"Crazy monkey, say wha'?"

"And I care because...?"

"They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill a lot of people."

"FLYING MONKEYS WILL RULE THE WORLD ONE DAY!"

"I GOT RAPED BY A GAY GUY! How that works, I have no idea."

"FUDGECAKES!"

"Your mom!"

"It's all the cakes fault!"

"I tink I taw a putty tat."

"It's not rape if you want it."

"Wash those cars, you sexy bitches!"

"When time comes to a halt, yell at it cuz you were in the middle of gettin' some!"

"When life gives you lemons, make grapejuice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it."

"One day, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."

"...And people say I'm weird..."

"...Pussillanimous..."

"Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!"

"My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone."

"The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not."

"If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk."

"I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth."

"Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?"

"You aren't gangster unless you have an orange dot. "

"Out of my mind, please leave a message."

"I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have!"

"I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly."

"Hate... A kind of love given to people who are dumb."

"If you don't laugh at yourself, I'll be glad to do it for you."

"Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now."

"Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why."

"People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers."

"Caution, water on road during rain."

"WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus."

"Don't like my attitude? Call 1 - 800 - Kiss - My - Ass."

"I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!"

"Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening."

"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a q-tip again!"

"The truth hurts...So we lie."

"I run with scissors. It makes me feel dangerous."

"I smile because you've all finally driven me insane."

"He said, 'I don't know why you wear a bra. You've got nothing to put in it.' Then she said, 'Well, you wear pants, don't you?'"

"Taking over the world is hard."

It's been taking me some time to update my stories, but alas, i am lazy.

Ha! Story of my life.

I have another account at fanfiction.net. here it is:

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1657765/xXBlackRoses-DeathXx