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Author has written 8 stories for Fantasy, Humor, General, and General. So you've stumbled on my profile, if you're reading this you're either really bored or have nothing better to do because honestly I don't have a lot to say-no, scratch that. I DO have a lot to say, not a lot that you would find interesting but I think I'll just keep typing anyway. First and foremost I would like to apologize. That is to say, if you're here and you're reading this it probably means that you have, or are about to read one of my stories. Stop. I can make this very simple. Put your hand on the mouse, drag it over to the 'BACK' button and apply presure. I do not write great literature, I write stories that are intended to shock, offend and amuse, specifically designed for those of us who get bored when jokes don't make someone feel extremely uncomfortable or turn a funny color green. Still here? Ok, I'll keep going anyway. For those of you who don't appreciate my nauseating and not at all clever sense of humor, occasionally I will write something mildly intelligent. When this happens I usually get really excited and press the delete button on accident, but sometimes the story manages to survive and if you don't feel like reading poorly written satire I suggest you read Mirrorland, because it would be really nice if someone could confirm it to actually be clever. If you do like poorly written satire I suggest you read Hedgenchog or The Voodoo Pocket Guide...because...well, it passes the time and might make you giggle. Also, I don't update a lot. Actually, hardly ever. In fact, sometimes I just get bored of stories and decide to never finish them, but, let's face it, most of the people on here will never read past chapter 3 of any story so I figure that if I've done a good three chapters it's as good as complete. | |||||||||
1. Hedgenchog » reviewsDid you love Eragon? Then you will hate this.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,590 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 10-30-09 - Published: 10-25-082. Sleeping BeautyEtc » reviewsDid the tale of sleeping beauty ever inspire you to write a dark-ly humorous horror complete with three evil witches, hordes of bloodthirsty sleepwalkers and a monster that wakes from true love's first kiss to unleash unspeakable evil upon the world? conFantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,765 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 10-27-09 - Published: 10-25-093. Time reviewsA poem about mortalityComplete - General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-7-09 - Published: 1-7-094. Vondoris' CellarTelburn. A town located in isolation from the other places of the world, very much a strange place, with strange people, who like to live out their strange lives in peace. Vondoris' cellar: A place where objects come to life.General - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,361 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 1-7-09 - Published: 1-7-095. The Voodoo Pocket Guide reviewsThe book that handles magic with a 'you can do it too' attitude.Humor - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 264 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-6-09 - Published: 1-6-096. Boots of Steel » reviewsBlade Sunhunter is on a quest to save his village from the plague, but many obstacles stand in his way.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,157 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-21-08 - Published: 12-17-087. Mirrorland » reviewsI think I might have actually crossed the invisible line of weirdom with this one.Fantasy - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,151 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-23-08 - Published: 11-10-088. Sleeping Sound » reviewsMy way of paying tribute to fantasy novels and fairy tales. ...Please don't hurt me...Fantasy - Fiction Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,870 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 10-27-08 - Published: 10-25-08
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