Hello, my dear friends! This is Eternally Immortal and I am back to do some major damage! :D I now have a new story out called I'm With the Band and I'm kinda excited about it! xD I hope you guys like it too! I don't think that I'm going to finish my other story so I'm probably going to delete it soon...sorry for all the people who thought that it might lead to something good...I just don't/didn't know where it was heading, but I know where I'm With the Band is going...somewhat...ah...hehehe...? :D I promise I will keep up with it!! xD

A Few Facts About Me! :D

Name: My name is Shanice or NeeCee if you want. That, however, is all you are gonna get. End of discussion!

Age: hmm...to tell or not to tell...I choose...NOT! HAHA! xD

Likes: music, dancing, art, writing, singing, movies, cats, sushi, my family, my friends, boys ;), and laughing at myself.

Dislikes: over-talkative people, catty girls, negativity, and working outside.

Interesting Facts: 1) I have about 172 celebrity husbands in my mind ;) 2) I am in a hip hop dance group! :D 3) I love being goofy! I can never seem to be serious. 4) I tend to spout funny quotes from Facebook's Flair page 5) I actually have 173 celebrity husbands in my mind now ;D

Funny Sayings/quotes

He who laughs last…thinks the slowest

Dancer by day…a ninja by night

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand

333: I’m only half evil

Procrastinators unite…tomorrow

I have no powers but I can skip really well

I’m what Willis was talking about

Do you wanna talk to the man in charge or to the woman who knows what’s going on?

If Tylenol, duct tape, or band-aids can’t fix it…you’ve got a serious problem

The grass is always greener where you water it

Pardon me, Sir Gangster? Your pants are descending…

I’m a little out there…don’t judge me…

There’s a fine line between genius and crazy…I like to use that line as a jump rope

I didn’t say it was your fault…I said that I was going to blame you

A yawn is a silent scream for coffee

Why can’t I color outside the lines?

I laugh in the face of danger…then hide until it goes away

Sometimes you need to stop and smell the sharpie

Humpty Dumpty was pushed

Everybody pretend to be normal

Piñatas promote violence against flamboyant animals

If you don’t talk to your cat about catnip, who will?

Here’s my advice: never take my advice

When I said “I’d hit that” I meant with my car

Been there. Done that. They said I can’t come back

I told my therapist about you

Boys fall for me because I trip them

Sometimes I wonder…”why is that Frisbee getting bigger?”…and then it hits me

Girls are not complicated. How hard is it to say “you’re pretty” and give us chocolate?

Sometimes I laugh…and I don’t know why…

I laugh harder when I hear my own laugh

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things

I know Kung-Fu and 50 other dangerous words

Sometimes you just need to dance down the aisles of a grocery store

I didn’t slap you! I high-fived your face!

I think, therefore I am dangerous

On a scale of one to crazy, I’m a penguin

I’m a sucker for guys in eyeliner

Hold on. Evil moment…bwahahahahahahahaha!

I’m the type of person that’s rocking out in their car at the stoplight

Being vague is almost as fun as this other thing

Sometimes you just gotta say “no more diabolical planning today” and see more of your family

I’m so bad that I carry a squirt gun!

That’s what she said

You laugh because I’m different. I laugh because you’re all the same.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away and barefoot!

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I tell him, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, I tell him, "probably because of something you did."

Point, laugh, and run.

It's normal to be weird, but being normal is weird.

Sticks and stones my brake your bones, but words will never harm you. Well words can harm you just throw a dictionary at someone

"We means a lot things; we three, we the people and my favorite WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" – The Fairly Odd Parents

If you can't beat 'em, RUN!

What goes around comes around... eventually... anytime now... soon... I give up!

Save the earth, it’s the only planet with chocolate.

Brains are like hamsters in wheels... going and going but still getting nowhere!

I've gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, tell me to wait here

The truth is like a roach. You step on it, but it just won't die

If you expect the unexpected, it isn’t the unexpected anymore, now is it?

Thinking is when your mouth stays shut and your head keeps talking to itself.

Saying infinity is a number does not make it one.

Do unto others before they do unto you

I had a dream I was skydiving... When I woke up I was on the lawn outside my window...

"When someone insults you, nod and agree with them. It confuses them." – me

I've been told that people can be very acute or very obtuse. But what happens if one is neither? Would that make them right? And if they were right, would they always be right? But, what if they were wrong? Would they be left? And if they were left, would they be alone? And if they were alone, would they ever be found? Paradox.

Any minute now, I will jump in with my pointless observations.

What is it that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life.

Too much sanity can make a person insane.

If you can't be a good example, you will just have to be a horrible warning.

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.

Curiosity killed the cat . . . and satisfaction brought it back!

You're just jealous 'cause the voices are talking to me!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it forever.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

I'm bored. Run for your sanity.

We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.

They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles!

I've always wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my enemy to go swimming.

The only way to lose is to give up.

All the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

Those who say nothing is impossible have never tried slamming a revolving door.

"I've been in LA for a few days. You know what I learned? I learned that you can't wear colors. I mean, one day, I wore red, and a gang beat me up. The next day, I wore blue; the other gang beat me up. And the next day I wore plaid, and two golfers beat the heck outta me!" - Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

Hold on...train of thought hit a cow...

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well I think the guns help. I mean if you stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the thrills I will have.

I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening IDIOCY.

I'm just going to walk to my corner now...

Kermit: If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire. Rat #1: All of our pens have turned to inkcicles. Rat #2: Our assets are frozen. Ebenezer: How would the bookkeeping staff like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?! Rats: (singing) HEAT WAVE! This is my island in the sun. – A Christmas Carol

Wanda: And now, here's Cosmo with the weather. Cosmo: (Cut to Cosmo who's holding a feather... silence) I thought you said feather. – The Fairly Odd Parents

"There's only enough color for one of us to slide down the pretty rainbow! Wow. There wasn't a manly word in that sentence!" – The Fairly Odd Parents

La cucaracha, la cucaracha, Enchilada, blah blah blah! La cucaracha, la cucaracha, and a burrito, blah blah blah" – The Fairly Odd Parents (La Cucaracha song lyrics)

"Learn to skate in difficult environments, you must. For afraid of gorillas am I!" – The Fairly Odd Parents

Easter Bunny: Or you'll get an egg where the sun don't shine. Cosmo: You mean the closet? – The Fairly Odd Parents

Wanda: It's not over until the fat lady votes! Cosmo: The principal can vote? – The Fairly Odd Parents

I'm Not Lost, I'm exploring.

Hi my job is to annoy you.

Boy: Why do you cry and obsess over a TV program & the imaginary sadness of people you’ve never met? Girl: For the same reason you jump up and yell at the TV when a man you don’t know makes a touchdown

There is a light at the end of every tunnel...just pray it's not a train!

The man might be the head, but the woman's the neck, and she can make the head turn any-way she wants...

"Are you going to take a shower?" "No. I just got naked and turned on the water for my own personal pleasure..."

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, and then used against you.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have destroyed and obliterated this line.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

There are three kinds of people: Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?

I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world, but shhh! It's a secret!

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

Be insane... because well-behaved girls never made history.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose Rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry; I thought paper would protect you."

A hilarious short story I received in an email...

Yesterday I was at my local Sam's Club buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had? An elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore.

A white man enters a bar and sees a black man sitting on a stool.

The white man says, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK.

"But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

"When you wake in the morning and all you can think about is singing, well then you’re a singer." – Sister Act 2

I will try to update my story every week at the latest! I'm trying hard to keep up with finishing my story! Scout's Honor! xD