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(Please excuse any writing errors in the following profile... it's a first draft XD) 8/2/09 I've recently found the world of wonder that is authonomy.com. For the authors here who want recognition from professional editors and writers alike, or simply desire to post on a site that's plagiarism-safe, check it out! (And do let me know of your account there as well.) About me: Twenty (but doesn't act like it), unbelievably open-minded, avid reader, romantic at heart Favorite genres: YA, fiction, romance, fantasy, well-executed suspense You're probably here because I left you a review of some sort. My review is a honest opinion of what I feel about your writing. If I dislike something or believe that a particular scene needs editing, I'll tell it to you straight out. Similarly, if I'm impressed by something, I'll commend you on it. It would be far easier to review everything I read with "OMG! I loved this! Update soon~ xoxo." Understand that critiquing takes up my time, so obviously there is a purpose behind it - to help you become a better writer. If you have questions regarding my review, feel free to message me! I am not a true scholar by any means. I have been on Fictionpress since I was 9 years old though, and am at the point where I recognize 99.9 percent of the works on random users' favorites lists. Part of the reason for moving to authonomy is because I've run out of stories to read here. I've served as a proofreader, editor, and even a short-span writer. Needless to say, I'm picky over what I read now. What I enjoy isn't defined by popular opinion; if your pitch interests me, I couldn't care less how many reviews you have when it comes to deciding if I should read your story. UPDATED 8/7/09: 10+ golden rules of writing a romance fiction (definitely not exclusive, meant to be offensive, or taken word-for-word): 1) Watch your grammar. If you're unsure about your grammar proficiency, get a beta reader to check it over. Even if your ideas are pure brilliance, poor grammar will only turn off readers at the get-go. 2) It's okay to write a cliche, really! Don't stress if your premise sounds similar to someone else's. You can always build up unique scenes later and, plus, the quality of writing is what matters. However, originality always gets brownie points. Think outside of the box though. Originality doesn't require kings, alien spottings, and mermaids. Sometimes, the most ordinary love story is the most original of them all. Hint: how do people typically fall in love (in real life)? 3) Character development is key. Susie isn't a shy wallflower who sits at the back of the room for no reason. What caused this? If you're utilizing first person pov, give us a look into her mind. Let us know what she thinks about and, more importantly, how she thinks. Give us background. Was the stem a dysfunctional relationship with her parents? Give us detail. Don't sum up a whole character development in one paragraph. Too many authors make this mistake and simplify the process with a confession scene. Susie sits Dave down and gives him a hour-long debriefing about why she has become so reclusive. Are you kidding me? If we can't get into a character's head, and the narrator isn't personal enough to even reveal background info, give us hints via actions and words. Why is Dave the jerk of a jock not really that jerk-y after all? Well, Susie catches him flinching just the slightest bit as his friends corner a victim for the daily bullying session. Susie hears Dave's voice crack as he agrees with his friends that, yes, he'd tap that booty. Subtlety is key. Once again, don't take the easy way out and produce a scene where Dave proceeds to convince Susie that he's not a bad guy. Why? Because he says so, of course! Yeah. Main characters should also undergo change by the end of a story that spans a period of time. Are you still the same person you were 5 years ago? 4) Ties in with #3: PERSONALITY. No one wants a washboard of a character. Now personality does not mean Dave must harbor a love for Byron, be a rock star in hiding, an infamous ex-gangster, and have a daughter stowed away in Antarctica. Personality means that Dave is r-e-a-l. This one is hard to describe straight out, so, instead, think about what you do everyday. Dave is the same way. He laughs at jokes, bites his lower lip in frustration, dozes off in class, bobs his Adam's apple (heh) when he's nervous, widens his eyes in shock, and trembles a bit when he holds Susie's hands for the first time. Dave has likes and dislikes, quirks (no matter how gross they may be), habits, dreams and goals and aspirations, and beliefs. Please breathe such life into Dave. He may be a jerk, but he is still human. 5) Be careful with love. Don't make it an inane emotion. Susie meets Dave, finds Dave hot, gets it on with Dave (with optional explicitness), is horrified she got it on with Dave, can't stop thinking about Dave, and whoa, what did you know, gets it on with Dave again, then decides she must be in love with Dave (because what else could this be?), gets it on with Dave a final time... and lives happily ever after with Dave, their 5.7 kids, and a purple picket fence. NO, NO, NO. Did Susie even have a single conversation with Dave during this whole shpeal? Because if she did, Susie would've realized before they had 5.7 kids that Dave is actually a serial killer. Always have tons of character heart to hearts, because interaction is the key to love. The love at first sight approach is possible, but not sustainable in the long run. After falling for Dave's gorgeous eyes, Susie should find herself intrigued by Dave's personality as well. Love does not equal to shallow lust. If you're aiming for the serious-like-whoa-unbreakable-bond-forever sort of love, be wary of too much initial physical attraction. The slow development from friendship to lovers route or the mutual enemies to lovers route both lend more credibility. 6) Actually, don't be inane at all. So what will make me think you're a preteen from your writing? a) Internet lingo. Exception: when there's actually a point to using it. E.g. a quirky character going, "I'm loling at you right now" to her friend is ok, because it plays on the character's personality via her speech. b) Capitalized words and, worse, capitalized sentences. E.g. "NO WAY." I don't talk in capital letters. Do you? Let us in on the surprise and shock through suggestive phrasing (e.g. "she exclaimed") or character actions (e.g. a jaw dropping.) c) Excessive exclamation marks/question marks. E.g. "No way!? !? !?" d) Capitalized words plus excessive exclamation marks/question marks. E.g. "NO WAY!? !? !?" Unnecessary heart attack ensues. The exception to b, c, and d is a catchy opening to a story or just one specific scene where you need as much emphasis as you can get. e) Similar to c and d in concept. Don't be unnecessary. E.g. "Effortlessly easy", "smiled with humor", "sadly cried" f) Telling us everything that happens during a character's day. Susie gets up, washes her face, puts on clothes, eats a breakfast of pancakes with syrupy smiley faces... pretty scary, right? This is fictionpress, not Big Brother. g) Excessive bolded and/or italicized words. Please, limit them to 3-4 per chapter. 7) Writing mechanics and style matter. Consider the following: a) Adverbs (the -ly words) are tricky. There's no rule in the English language that forbids their use, but a lot of publishing house editors do harp on them. If you're a serious, publisher-seeking author, read more here. b) Then vs than, affect vs effect, it's vs its, apostrophes in general c) Sentence structure variation! If you don't know what I'm talking about, please read this. d) Both too little detail and too much detail are serious faults. Strike a nice balance somewhere in between. Tell us the color of the clouds, but don't describe the color of the clouds plus which direction the wind's blowing plus humidity levels. e) Dialogue please. The only chapters acceptable without any dialogue are the prologue and epilogue. f) Try to reel the reader in by the 3rd paragraph with beautiful prose, intriguing characters, a flashback, a catchy opening scene, or a mix of the above. If there's nothing interesting about the beginning of your story, at least include a cliffhanger at the end of the first chapter. g) There's no need to end every single chapter with a cliffhanger though. You can only kill off so many characters and have so many of them end up in one night stands. 8) Be subtle in your introduction of a character. Never, ever, ever describe in full what a character looks like (eyes, face, body, etc) asap. Getting Susie to look into the mirror and observe her mousy, brown hair hanging limply around a face adorned by two muddy colored orbs is not subtle. Heck, you don't even have to tell me what Susie looks like in the first chapter at all. If you really want to though, squeeze it in from other characters' perspectives, or drop hints: "Dave pulled on Susie's mousy, brown hair...", "Susie wished her looks were more commanding. Afterall, muddy brown eyes really didn't do much in the way of enrapturing hearts." We also won't die if you fail to tell us what Susie wears to school everyday. Save the descriptions of her lacey tanktop for some good ol' character development instead. Same goes for the name thing. I should not know both main characters' full names by the end of the 3rd paragraph. "I, Susie Jane, officially hate/love Dave Smith..." kills me everytime. More preferable ways of introducing a character's full name: give the parents' names (i.e. Susie's mother is Mrs. Jane, so her full name must be Susie Jane), attendance roll call, another character calling out the name, etc. 9) Conflict? What's that? Two problems writers face: too little conflict and too much conflict. The latter tends to be a bigger issue. A lot of times, I read stories with seemingly great potential. The protagonists fall in love, some conflict arises, and they make up again. You'd think that's happily ever after, but NO... out of the blue, the girl dies. Not to go against what I preach, but WTF!? Same goes for the love-hate-love-hate-love route. 80 percent of the time, it's not feasible for a normal couple to switch gears like that. Falling in love is a lot of work. Breaking up is a lot of work. Doing both about 10x by the end of the story is just... well, I have no words, but I think you get the point. I don't know where writers get the idea that their characters must suffer, and suffer a lot for that matter (sadistic tendencies, perhaps). Keep things simple. A realism tip: conflict doesn't even have to be external. There's no need for all the exes to show up just so you get some emotional conflict going. In fact, whenever a writer introduces an ex into the picture, my first thought is "here we go again..." A conflict can be a character undergoing puberty or suffering from an identity crisis. The girl can't stay with one man for more than a week. The guy is convinced that his heart is incapable of emotions. And ta da! That's one mess of a conflict waiting to happen. 10) A cliche of a premise may be ok, but be careful with too much cliche. Personal pet peeves: a) Once again, the whole describing exactly what a character looks like at first shot or in the opening paragraph. - As soon as I see this, I don't even bother to read any further. No joke. b) The girl is nervous at the thought of the first day of school and spends an hour deciding on her wardrobe, checks the mirror, guesses that she looks ok, and hurries out of the door. c) The girl undergoes a makeover under the coercion of her friends/mom/sister/goldfish... but she really doesn't want to, she swears! It's ok though, because once her lashes are jabbed by an unknown stick and her cheeks brushed over with some pinkish powder, she looks so hawt that she stares into the mirror in awe. - She's wary of makeup, not stupid. d) The girl's friends repeatedly tell her how gorgeous she is, but she doesn't believe one word of it. - If she's "gorgeous", she'll know it, trust me. Girls are never oblivious to their looks. e) The girl notices her childhood best friend's sinewy build for the first time in all 18 years of knowing him, and proceeds to swoon. - Not possible, I say. If I witnessed my guy friend getting a 6 pack, I'll be more than happy to notice it right away. Avoid this problem with a meeting gap (i.e. guy was out of the country the whole time his new and improved body was developing.) f) Too much squealing and giggling from the girls upon spotting a hot guy. g) The main characters manage to make out by the end of the first chapter. - Wowza! Talk about being quick on the feet (well, exchange feet with another body part here...) h) Exaggerated teenage stereotypes. E.g. The queen bee who is flanked on both sides by her lackeys, dates the football captain, has a bitch streak, and leaves minions trembling in fear. i) Actually, just don't abuse the whole popularity theme. It's far, far trite. 11) And some general tips: a) The pitch (your story's summary) is crucial. Be a little cryptic and don't give away the whole plot. If you're stuck, include a particularly witty quotation from your story instead. Proof it at least 3x to make sure that there are no grammar/spelling/whatever mistakes. b) For every chapter, run spellcheck and follow with a proofread at least once before posting. No one wants to read a story laden with errors. c) Consider the rating. If your characters engage in a passionate kiss, upgrade to T. If your characters' hands start wandering to more than just bare backs and tummies, it's preferable to upgrade to M (ask yourself what you would allow your hypothetical 16 year old kid to read.) Just please don't leave it at K if you're introducing Susie and Dave to BDSM. d) Don't beg for reviews. Also, avoid suggesting at how little reviews you received for a particular chapter. Such comments are petty, and potential reviewers will actually run away. A simple "please review" will suffice. e) If you include reviewer responses in each chapter, stick them at the end. It gets boring scrolling down half the page before the actual story starts. f) Treasure constructive criticism like the Holy Grail. If you can't take criticism, you will never become a successful writer. g) If you get a flame, take a slow, deep breath and restrain the urge to smash the keyboard in. Then, calmly type out a personal review response, asking the flamer why he/she left such a scathing review. If you get an equally flaming response or no response at all, then screw them. :D And a random throw-in! Here are possibly the most brilliant story beginnings ever (this will be updated constantly): "The best dancer in the school is a monster." - The Parquet by NiceShoesLetsFcuk "Everything started with a tiny little accident, followed closely by a high-pitched scream. “SKITTLES! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! THAT STUPID—” " - Imperfect by Nicki Saint (Skittles is a dog, btw) "So, I’ve been kidnapped by the Russian Mafia." - It Can Always Get Worse by Ollie May "No one told me when Edwin died. That is, no one thought to tell me right away." - Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl by Margot Tenenbaum "I’ve recently become aware of the fact that I no longer hate the number nine." - You're Too Wonderful to Die by Shampoo Suicide "Six minutes until seven o’clock. Eyes closed. Five minutes and fifty-five seconds until seven o’clock. I sighed and glanced at my alien space invaders alarm clock. When given the chance, it squawked ‘Good morning’ in fifty-seven different languages. Sadly, it never got the chance most mornings." - The Least Successful Human Cannonball by invisible.writer "Forty-six cents. All I needed was forty-six cents and, lo and behold, the change purse was coming up with nothing but pennies, and foreign change." - Interpreting You by invisible.writer "I slipped my shirt over my head and cast it aside, avoiding the eyes that were inevitably watching me." - The Inexplicable State of Being There by big.break.and.laryngitis "By the way they were looking at me I figured there was either a gun in my mouth or a gun in each of theirs." - Blood On Our Sneakers by A Perfect Sonnet "I felt like crying as I stared down at my math test. It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to do one problem. One problem I could deal with. But I had flipped through the entire test and realized that I had no idea how where to start on any of them." - Pen is Mightier by HurlyBurlyTintamar "So I tend to do things on a whim. Like, one day I'll want to buy a puppy and I'll walk to the pet store and get a betta fish instead because I don't have enough money to buy a puppy. Then I'll go to the grocery store and get food for the betta fish and put the food down because Lindsay Lohan is on the cover of Cosmopolitan: Girl! (a.k.a. Teen Screw Ups With Fantastic Hair). Then I will buy the magazine, head home, and stare at my betta fish while I read my Cosmo, and I'll think, Oh, shit. I forgot the food. But Willy (the fish) will die because, really, I think I have ADHD." - World Chicken: How Snobs Happen by The Breakdancing Ninja "Have you ever imagined killing someone? I don’t just mean the mild urge to choke someone when they annoy you, but more like a full-out, gore-filled fantasy. I’m talking about visualizing a knife plunging into someone’s chest and blood spewing forth like a geyser all while they howl in undiluted pain and terror. No? Well, neither had I. That is, not until..." - Tangled by Harper Bell "I’ve spent eighteen years of my life waiting for it to start. If I am going to live to a hundred, that’s almost a fifth of my life gone, waiting for something magnificent, something heart-stopping, something that should be read in novels to be imprinted onto others’ souls for eternity. I’m still waiting." - Waiting on the World by blak pearl Hopefully that sums up the inner workings of my mind. What I think you should check out here: SamanthaNicole And some more goodies Of Money and Mouths by mrdryrdrlngs Unfortunately, a lot of these authors have been hit with the plagiarism bug, so many works are either unavailable or moved to livejournal at the moment. I know I've left out many (my memory fails me too often)... there are more on my favorites list, but I do have a tendency of filtering out completed stories. -shrugs- Message me with any questions/comments/concerns :) | |||||
