It doesn't matter to me what you did yesterday, who you were or who you are tomorrow; what matters is what you are today...which is my friend--Harlee Rae Livesay's motto

I never would have banished her from his society as long as he desired hers. the moment his regard ceased, I would have torn her heart out, and drank her blood! But, till then- if you don't believe me, you don't know me- till then, I would have died by inches before I touched a single hair of her head.--from me about k&ni M#@u

I HATE MARCO DIAZ!! Yeah he was a great friend right?? FUCK THAT! gah he just fucking pissed me off! this is what I USED to think:

Marcoroni-his real name is Marco...but one day I was bored and wha la! marcoroni came into being...that and chika...my best frnd ever...seriously! I've only known him for a little while but hes possibly the best friend I've ever had...he makes me laugh just by smiling, we have so much in common it's scary...we kinda even think the same way and with him I can be as perverted as I want to be and still be sure he will be even MORE perverted. XD He gives bests hugs ever...Because of him I'm getting better at being close to people...I almost am never able to stay mad at him..I mean yes we fight and have arguments but (shh don't tell him) five minutes after I stop being angry...hes always there for me as I am for him...I can tell him anything...we have the weirdest conversations and have a love for coffee that borders on obsession XD...he's my total ninja/fail kid and my mexasian XD I don't know what I would do without seeing or txting him every day...probably go insane...wait I'm already there XD

this is what I think now:

MARCO DIAZ: ASS!! I fucking hate that BASTARD!! Hes such an mother fucker...he only talks to me if he wants something and then he ignores me if any of his other friends come over. the minute anyone other than Jamie(see fluffers below) comes over I become a background, even if Im in the middle of a sentence. NO seriously!! I consider him my best friend and guess what?! he can't even consider me a friend and if he does then how DARE he treat a friend like that!! The fact that he doesn't even realize he does it pisses me OFF!! And when I walk away I know he doesnt care, and I always have the feeling that if I stopped being his friend he wouldnt give a shit...that he wouldnt even notice... like Im expendable, like...Im worth losing..,. I can't believe him!! and then hes such a ...BASTARD!! he is such a pity fest...and every time I over react on something he blames himself...WHAT TYPE OF GUILTY BASTARD DOES THAT?! that's NOT normal! cuz its not his fault and he still feels guilty!! HOW DARE he, when we do hang out, make me laugh and smile and have fun when all I wanna do is be pissed at him...how dare he make me feel normal and good and nice when he does pay attention to me! how dare he be almost the perfect friend (other than abandoning me)!! how dare he!! How dare he make me hug-able and nicer and a better person! I JUST WANT TO LEAVE HIM!! I don't wanna be his friend!! its too much pain!! I hate how no matter how hard I try i cant stop wanting to be his friend, or loving hanging with him. I BUT I CANT STAY AWAY OR STOP BEING HIS FRIEND!! I HATE YOU MARCO!! AND I HATE THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL WHERE YOU'RE CONCERNED!! I! HATE! YOU!

Dear fictionpress users,

Hi I am Kiki Idiot-on-a-stick. Funny name hmm? I am also known as Fifi Bitch-on-a-pencil, but that is of little importance. Well any way, I am typing this to tell all of you out there who I am. I first want to say that if you write on fictionpress or fanfiction DO NOT listen to all of the dicks out there saying your work is crap. It is not true. They are probably only saying that because they don't believe in their own work. And also, if you give in to them - and that is what you would be doing- you are the biggest coward known to man. To give up what you worked so hard on just because you stepped on someones toes is... is.. there isn't even a word in the English dictionary to describe how WRONG it is! They have no right to put you down and any way you don't write for them so who gives a shit?! You write for you. Don't listen to them, if you want to write then write, don't let those narcissistic asses ruin it for you. Just because they have over 1770 hits on their story gives them no right to say they know more about writing than you. Also, even if they don't like your story doesn't mean someone else won't. Everyone has different tastes and also, if they don't like it they can say they don't, not insult you and say you should delete your story. On that note, if any of you needs a fan just hit me up and I will be there. I will never criticize you or anything. Even if you hit the keys at random I will say something nice. You can always be sure that I will welcome you with open arms- or in this case an open comment box and keyboard- even for the ones who put others down. Because unlike them I am not discriminative. Well... I guess I should describe myself... Well I'm a nerd, plain as that. I'm

Age:15 yrs old.

Height: 5'4" (short as hell!) xP

Hair: I have shoulder length medium brown hair that is tipped with dirty blonde

Eyes: color changing eyes from blue to grey to anything in between

Clothes: I wear jeans and baggy shirts.

Hair style: my hair is too short to do much with

Figure: I am broad... not fat but more.. sturdy I guess you would call it. kinda curvy..maybe

Misc. : I NEVER wear makeup. NEVER!! Do you know what is in that stuff?! plus too lazy

Fav. activities: Reading, writing, playing video games etc...

Attitude: My friends say my attitude changes a lot. Mostly bitchy or silly.

Let me just warn you, I am possibly the most perverted person you will ever meet...I will make an innocent sentence packed full of innuendos and sex themes...its my thing XD..I have been told that I am extremely loving and motherly...I love to spoil my friends given the chance and am so stubborn I must be part mule. I have been known to leap to the defence of people I don't know and even if we've only been friends for a day I will act as if we've been friends for years...most of my friends seem to turn to me to be level headed and to givwe comfort. Also I am usually the one to find a way to calm a bad situation down and make people happy. I accept you for you, no matter what shit and wierdness and baggage you come with.

If I were a character in a book I would be described as:

The door bell tinged as it opened and she walked through. Her gray eyes scanned the library behind her reading glasses and she waved to several people. Her oak and caramel hair bounced with every step at her shoulders. Humor glittered in her gaze and and an easy smile touched her wide, full mouth. She was short and sturdy, evident despite the baggy shirt and jeans she always wore. She hugged a mountain of books to her chest, many more in the bag slung over her shoulder. She set her things on a nearby table and walked her long, ground-eating stride to her friends in the corner. She laughed at what somebody said. She was known as the Nerd, always to be found in the library. She didn't mind, she reveled in it. To be looked at as smart, whom everyone turned to for help and advice. She glowed with pride when she thought of it. And then she would act stupid and vapid to confuse them. She was strange like that.

Fun/freaky/ all around eewww!! facts about me:

I can't get within three feet of someone before I start to hyperventilate. It's difficult to even hug my mom.

I turned my ex gay. I mean, I know people are born gay and nothing causes it but I supposedly made him so sexually repressed and was such a bad girlfriend that he somehow found out he was gay or bi or whatever.

I turned another ex into a cross-dresser--thats all im tellin, no more

My dad calls me "Tatertot."

I have daydreams every second of the day, I'm not kidding, I'll be doing my work or talking to a friend and having a day dream on the side.

I've been kissed by a guy only twice

I stare at the bane of my life because I'm bored and it makes him freak out...hehehe

When I'm upset I clean obsessively. Once I re-cleaned something just because my sister looked at it.

My longest relationship was two weeks.

I get really annoyed when people say "Libary" instead of "Library". There's two R's people!

I am everyones confident. Seriously, I've had people so comfortable with me that they tell me their bodily functions. Shudder.

One time I turned to my friend and asked "How do you spell 'are'?" then after that I asked them "What does 'there' mean?" and that's me when I'm smart. Sad yet funny as hell.

One time I was puting away dinner so I went to the drawer holding pan covers and opened it. In the process I hit my shin on the handle. Then, cursing, I picked out a cover and promptly dropped it on my foot. So here I am, cursing, holding my foot (The cover was made of very thick metal) and I reach down to grab it off the floor. In doing so, I bang my head onto the counter and not a light tap, I mean like I actually heard my head crack. Let's just say major headache.

You know the thing at the bottom of my page about Friends/best friends? The one about the knife (You'll understand when you read it) is true about me. The thing is that I was chopping vegetables at the time, and she knew it. She still did it. I think she was joking, I'm not sure-- you can never know with Kyky.

Maybe I should explain my name. Kiki is my cat's name, supposedly in Japanese it means "To hear". Idiot-on-a-stick comes from my friends and I being bored and coming up with silly names. One of my friends are Dawn Butter-on-a-pancake and another is Oak Cheese-on-a-cow. "Special' I know. I live on the big island of Hawaii and there are a lot of Japanese nationals here so of course I'm learning the language. Ex.

Watashi-no namae wa Kiki desu. Hajimemashite?

My name is Kiki. How do you do?

Time to describe my friends. They include:

Fluffers- really Jamie..he has awesome hair!! and thats where the name came from haha...hes a fucking giant -.-...which makes me feel like a fucking midget...hes really perverted XD I love it haha...hes really sweet and a really good friend...I don't think I've ever seen a friend sad without him being there, comforting them...hes an amazing guy! I consider him one of my best friends...which may or may not (who am I kidding its may) have to do with the fact that he gave me chocolate XD. I love chocolate...hmmm...goes dreamy eyed cccchhhhooooocccccoooollllaaaatttteeeeee...yum XD...hes really deticated and respectful..he is truely one of the few remaining gentlemen...who says chivilary is dead?! it isn't with this dude!! haha...hes like Bob, he draws on his face with eyeliner..its awesome XD...cuz his designs are pimpin!!

Chipmunk- I call him that for two reasons. One is he is short. As in really short, knee-high-to-a chipmunk short. (hope he never reads this!) Here I am, shorter than all my friends by at least 4 inches (I measured.) and a guy barely 5' comes into my English class and sits next to me. Well now he grew...fucking taller than me now the bastard... Then for my second reason-- I instantly thought He looks like Theodore! as in Alvin and the chipmunks, Theodore. (I hope to God he doesn't read this!) One of my best friends! Really smart and sweet, well, not to me or I'd probably hit him.

Bob- really Sean. On here Neon Poptart! When we first met I asked him his name and, being his usual "different" self he answered "Bob". I, being another "different" self said, "Wow! I'm Rob!" Get it? Both are shortenings of the name Robert and they rhyme. :) Wears more makeup than me. Not lipstick or anything like that, he just draws on his face with eyeliner. Hes crazy funny and i love him to death. I am always laughing with him and he is a caring, loving guy. He deserves the best in life...hell all my friends do XD I always feel protective of him and we joke about the most perverted of stuff.

Lorenzo- Really Ed. He hates being called Eddie and won't answer to me calling him that. Finally, in exasperation, I called him Lorenzo and now do so every time he doesn't answer to Eddie. You know those people who faint at the sight of blood? He's the opposite, when he sees it, he becomes enraged and craves it. Normally normal and cool. for me XD

Gorilla- Really Alec. Big and dark. (Dark hair, eyes, skin, clothes.) 'nough said. Quiet and brooding.

Grudge- Really Makela. Wears eyeliner like in the Grudge. Nice to a fault and used to date Bob. Shes super sweet and caring..I can trust her for advice.

Spazer-really Miles. Doesn't talk much due to stutter. Usually listens to music, spazes and/or reads.

Notice I never call them by their real names? Wierd huh? The names are also realy random.

Well... Peace yawl!

Sincerely,

Kiki Idiot-on-a-stick

P.S. Umm... On a totally random note, my friends came up with another name for me: Mimi Retard-on-a-pole. They happen to have a lot of extra time. Feel pity, they need it. Peace!

Quotes

I'd say kiss my ass but you'd probably bite me instead- from the movie "Blood suckers"

Would you just shut the f&# up so I can listen to the voices?!- Me!

I like Popsicles!- I randomly in a conversation about English mid-term

Chocolate is my crack, ice, weed etc... etc...etc... DEAL WITH IT!- Me.

It takes 75 muscles to frown but only 5 to deck the person who annoys you- my version of "It takes 75 muscles to. . ."

"When the voices start getting on your nerves all you have to do is listen to them for a few seconds and then randomly scream 'I like chocolate!' they'lll shut the hell up after that cause they'll realize you're even crazier than them hahaha..." me to my friend Ed when he he was having problem with his skitzophrania... haha

"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. so study and be evil.-Slytherin

"If i were wearing boots, i'd totally be quaking in them. no, really, totally quaking. you're really a scary man."-Max Ride

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep at night because reality is finally better then your dreams." ~Dr. Suess

I'm so ninja I'm Samurai"-Hans Carleson

Dieing is easy, staying alive is the hard part-Ed when I asked him why he agreed with me about suicide

We live we die we but its what we do with it that matters-Ed

Most ramantic things someone can ever say or do

This is a sad story

A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road on a motorcycle...

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug...

Girl hugs him

Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

(in the paper the next day)

A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of
brake failure.

Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brake broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know.

Instead,he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

If you love any one this much...let them know...before its too late.

Last night I looked up at the stars and I matched each star to one reason why I love you. I was doing fine until I ran out of stars.(AHHH!)

A girl asked a guy if she was pretty; he said no. She asked him if he wanted her; he said no. She asked him if she left, would he cry; he said no. She turned to leave; he grabbed her arm and said, 'Your're not pretty; you're beautiful. And I don't want you; I need you. And I wouldn't cry if you left; I would die.'(I want someone to say that to me!)

When a girl was 5 she lost her most favorite bunny in the universe.A boy who was 10 found it for her as well as giving her several others that he baught.A few years later the girl was all alone because no one liked her in 5th grade and the same boy sat down next to her, cheered her up and made her laugh.A few years later the girls mother was dieing and the boy raised money to save her. At 18 the girl got drunk and the boy took care of her even as her friends abandoned her. At 20 she got a disease in her bone marrow and needed a new one ...he gladly gave her his...later she was being mugged he took a bullet for her and layed dieing. his last words: " I'll love you forever till the stars don't shine ... Ill give everything to make you smile...Ill always wait for you forever...'cause you are my world." he never asked for anything in return...

I am

I am a girl who loves all

I am a girl who has never known hate

I am a girl who wants to pamper everyone

I am a girl who craves touch

I am a girl who watches others

I am a girl who feels like a mother to everyone

I am a girl who would give her life to save a stranger

I am a girl who loves to see others prevail

I am a girl who is able to walk in anothers shoes

I am a girl who accepts everyone

I am a girl who is innocent yet knows the world for what it is

I am a girl who can't harm another being

I am a girl who would do sacrifice anything for you if asked nicely

I am a girl who has never met you yet loves you as her child

I am a girl who never shows the world who I am

I am a girl who hides behind a mask

I am a girl searching for the one person able to see through that mask

I am a girl who has only found one

I am a girl who has felt unrequeted love(or affection)

I am a girl who is wise beyond her years

I am a girl who acts silly

I am a girl who tells others she fails so they feel better

I am a girl who hears voices in her head...that tell her what is right

I am a girl whos imagination is magic

I am a girl whos imagination has created her own safe haven

I am a girl whos heaven is seeing others happy

I am a girl whos spirit is hiding

I am a girl scared to show herself

I am a girl in the corner as everyone else dances

I am a girl whos mother had cancer twice

I am a girl who is a slave to her sister

I am a girl who sees gray in a world of black and white

I am a girl whos best friend is sarcasm

I am a girl who loves life no matter what is happening

I am a girl...

I am me

read this!

Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. They never did anything to you.

Thoughts on Gay Marriage! (stolen from x-EliteAssassin-x)

1) Gay marriage is not natural, and as Americans, we always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and lyposuction.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Have PRIDE! Support Gay Marriage! America... you were just pwned yay!

Random shit

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab separators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/confessions of love/any other Twilight related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you buy a paperback copy of Twilight before you get a hardcover, so that after the cover falls off from reading it 52 time, you can go back and underline every time you see the amazingly beautiful name "Edward." Crazy is when you go to the book stores just to see how many copies of Twilight you can find. Crazy is when you save the extras and deleted parts of the Twilight series, so you can read them later. Crazy is when you dress up in a bunch of random crap and go to a park, just to laugh at the people who stare at you funny. Crazy is when you go around the neighborhood with your friend in a dark scares the crap out of everyone outfits with lit candles in your hands chanting like some kind of witches. Crazy is when you think being mean to people is hilarious, and that it is really funny when people try to be mean back. Crazy is when you laugh 24/7 but LOVE Gothic rock. Crazy is when you sit in a chair, and waste five minutes of your life listing crazy things you have done. . Crazy is when you do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. Crazy is when - in PE- you start dancing holding up the number of what row you are in on the track. Crazy is when you stare off into space, hear every word someone says, remember everything you have ever talked about and still say "What were we talking about?" just to jack them up. Crazy is when you act retarded so people will be surprised when you are thoughtful and smart. Crazy is coming up with a word like "Smarticles" and "Retardikins" just because you can. Crazy is when you come up with names like Kiki Idiot-on-a-stick and Mimi Retard-on-a-pole. Being crazy is when you are mean to someone and instantly like them if they have good comebacks. Crazy is when you call the library your home and are annoyed when people say "Libary" instead of "Library". Crazy is when you are called "Retarded evil ball-busting bitch" and sincerely see it as a compliment and as a "promotion" in the insulting business. Crazy is when you love a person who insults you at every turn and dated your sister. Crazy is when you don't like it- no hate it- when someone calls you pretty and/or skinny. Being crazy is when you stare at something for more than 30 min. and when someone asks what you are looking at, you walk away and start staring at something else.If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list

Copy and paste this into your profile if you know that 'brunette' is spelt like that, not 'brunet'.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are really random, put this in your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile

Random hyper teenagers of the world, unite! If you are hyper, random, or just feel like copying and pasting something onto your profile, copy and paste this into your profile!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (but not as weird as you), put this in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy & paste this into your profile.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell..
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants..
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. (well, almost no social life in my case...)
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTORICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm LITHUANIAN so I MUST be old-fashioned and stupid
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals..
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty..
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border..I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis..
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE (Much), so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I'm a nerd, so I must love school and be socially retarded
I am not fat but I eat (a lot) so I must be bulimic
I sometimes forget how to spell or the meaning of small words so I'm retarded.
I'm (partly) blond so I must be stupid

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS(ill put what i say to it)

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you (ill then kick his ass)

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"(and then will get evidence to prove it)

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. (and then help you fuck with his head)

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." (and show up in two)

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.(maybe ...depends on my mood haha)

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" (ill b lmao too much to but i will later)

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. (yep)

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.(and sets up the perfect date and makes sure he dates you by threatening to make him a eunoch otherwise)

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. (stupid question obviously not duh)

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" (nope will kill wat made you cry haha)

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. (nope cuz u already have it)

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.(haha not soda too valuable and tasty will dump water though)

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. (nope love to swim too much)

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. (yep haha)

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.(fuck that i wont get wet so too bad)

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!"(did it and have the stolen umbrella to prove it)

FRIENDS: Will help you move. (will move with u)

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. (im the one that killed them)

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.(nope id join u)

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" (yep)

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. (next one true)

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reasons why you have no food. (duh)

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.(too formal)

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!(yep dude)

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. (nope)

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN! we messed up!" (nope too smart to mess up)

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. (fuck that im the one who made the guy who made u cry cry himself haha)

BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.(yep)

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. (nope)

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.(yep)

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. (hell no i like ur stuff 2 much )

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." (wouldnt give the tissue)

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.(hell no)

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...(already did and use it as black mail haha)

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. (fuck that i hate crowds)

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you (duh more like leave them unable to do anything but drink a hamburger through a straw)

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. (nah too formal)

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." (nope i wouldnt warn u ud find out i was there by seeing the pantry was empty haha)

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.(haha funny)

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. (duh)

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (Aka: drinking buddies)(dont drink. i watch u get drunk)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. (u couldnt get rid of me if u tried im like mold that way)

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. (fuck that id take a video)

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"(haha)

FRIENDS: will take the knife, and leave you be. (fuck that)

BEST FRIENDS: will take the knife, and do a strip check every day for the next 3 years (make it 5)

FRIENDS: will help you find your mind when you lose it

BEST FRIENDS: lost theirs first(haha duh I think our minds are hiding from us)

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.(hell no 2 funny)

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit! (no shit sherlock!)

Sometimes you just have to smile and walk away...hold your tears in and pretend you are okay... Or just slap them in the face, whichever.

When I lose my mind, will you help me find it?(what if I dont want to find it?)

The world would be a better place if fictional characters were real.

Smile...it confuses people (it truley does)

If a tomato is a fruit then what does that make ketchup? (btw don't care if ketchup is spelt wrong.)

I like night. Without the dark we would not be able to see the stars. (duh...)

Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know dragon exist. Fairy tales tell children how to kill dragons!(yep!killed one last week nasty buggers)

Pick the month you were born in:
January: I ran shirtless with...
February: I kissed...
March: I slept with...
April: I ran naked with...
May: I cuddled with...
June: I smoked dope with...
July: I killed...
August: I needed...
September: I banged...
October: I killed...
November: I shot...
December: I stabbed...

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

01: ...a camera...
02: ...a dog...
03: ...the Kool-Aid Man...
04: ...a Spartan...
05: ...a stripper...
06: ...your mom...
07: ...Barney the dinosaur...
08: ...a prostitute...
09: ...a pornstar...
10: ...a bag of weed...
11: ...my toothbrush...
12: ...my crush...
13: ...Santa Claus...
14: ...a duck...
15: ...a horse...
16: ...A bowl of Fruit Loops...
17: ...a meth junkee...
18: ...a bisexual...
19: ...a tampon...
20: ...a man in a hot dog suit...
21: ...a homeless guy...
22: ...this hot dude/chick...
23: ...my lover...
24: ...an Easter egg...
25: ...George Washington...
26: ...Master Yoda...
27: ...Spiderman...
28: ...a Welshman...
29: ...my postman...
30: ...a glass of milk...
31: ...a fluffy bunny...

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:

White: ...because I'm sexy like that.
Black: ...because that's how I roll!
Pink: ...because I'm just that amazing.
Red: ...because you touch yourself at night.
Blue: ...because I'm such a pimp.
Purple: ...because I like pointy things.
Gray: ...because I love sexual tension.
Other: ...because my boobies are huge.
Green: ...because it was for the good of the whole.
Orange: ...because I smoke crack
Other: ...because I gotta pee.
Brown: ...because the little people told me to.
Shirtless: ...because he broke through my damned wall!

so... i stabbed a hot dude cuz i love sexual tention...wow didn't know i did that ...of course i just fade in and out of my life so theres a lot i dont know about myself haha

marcoroni needed my tooth brush cuz u touch urself at night...thx now i dnt have a tooth brush...asshole XD

my sister ran shirtless with a bag of weed because she likes pointy things wow she needs help my whole family does hahaha

chipmunk kissed a porn star because he smokes crack

Ed runs shirtless with a homeless dude cause thats how he roles!

my dad ran naked with a horse because he likes pointy things

my mom cuddled with spiderman because shes sexy like that

Hans kissed a man in a hot dog suit becouse thats how he roles...wow...sexy haha

Kamal cuddled with his lover cuz he loves sexual tension

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

real highs

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

Shorty & KG's Wise Sayings of Wisdom:

1. Scarcasm is a body's natural defence against stupid.

2. Intellegence is knowing that the water that falls from the sky is rain. Wisdom is having enough sence to get out of it.

3. If you build it they will come.

4. The best things in life are either fattining or free.

5. 70 of stitistics are made up on the spot.

6. No one knows everything.

7. Everyone is special in their own way.

8. You will learn that over time two things will not change: boy's brains and the fact that all schools are boring.

9. Everyone has or will be an artist in one way or another.

10. If you believe in yourself there is very little that you cannot do.

11. Many people will look at bumper stickers just because they have nothing better to do.

12. Number 11 is sad.

13. Everyone will expierence greif...what makes you different is how you deal with it.

14. It is very hard to stop a war but is easy to start one.

15. Everyone procrastinates.

16. Everyone is OCD about something.

17. say whatever you want because the people that care don't matter and the ones that matter don't care

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

FYI: you are NOT bringing sexy back, i am

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Except for the question "can I ask you a question?"

Myspace my Youtube and I'll Google your YAHOO

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

If you know that getting good grades has nothing to do with being smart, copy and paste this into your profile.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'(dude just say no...retard)

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business!

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're intoxicated by my very presence

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Come to the retarded dark side we have BROWNIES! specialbrownies hahaha

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived! I did it because it made me feel dangerous

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

We is friends u cry i cry u laf i laf u jump off a bridge, i gonna miss ur retardedness

Thanks Stephenie, now I will NEVER get a man.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. gals before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.(i didi that an old lady fainted I ran away)

when life gives you lemons spit lemons into lifes eyes

when life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

-Trying is the first step toward failure

If you think the Coca-coca Puff Turky-Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think that the Cookie Crisp wolf should stop coping the Trix Rabbit and needs to get his own life, copy and paste this into your profile.

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why not.

Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within

This isn't just goodbye, this is I can't stand you.

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt?.."

BRING IT ON...and lead me not into tempation... especially book stores. deffinetly book stores

you cannot just float above me while i'm drowning in the abyss!

be careful, or you'll end up in my novel
-cannons t- shirt (be afraid)

never judge a book on it's movie

i've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Just because a cat has kittens in an oven dosen't mean you call 'em biskits

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Jacob Black is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you truely believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. (ive lost before!)

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the names "Edward" or "Jacob" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. My skys green in it hahaha

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile...who told you?!

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you think Thalia is the best thing since chocolate, copy and past this to your profile

Sunsets aren't consistent...IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
...Or the world being round...

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profileIf you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

A joke..

Moses and Jesus are part of a threesome playing golf one day.

Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long shot. T

he ball lands on the fairway, but then rolled directly into the water trap.

Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted, and the ball rolled to the other side, safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice, long one right to the same water trap.

It landed in the center of te pond adn hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked onto the pond and chipped the ball right onto the green.

The third guy got up and walked the ball over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street.

It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree.

From there, it bounced onto the roof of a house close by and rolled into the gutter and down the drain pipe, and out onto the fairway, and straight toward the pond.

On the way to the watertrap, the ball hit a rock adn bounced over the water and onot a lily pad, where it rested peacefully.

Then a humungous frog jumped onto the lily pad and snatches the ball into its mouth.

Just then an eagel swppoed down, grabbed the frog, adn flys away.

As they passed over the green the ball falls out of the frog's mouth and falls right into the hole.

A perfect hole-in-one.

Moses turned to Jesus adn said, "I hate playing with your dad."

One more joke... yes it involves Christainianity and golf

So these 3 guys who really like golf (let's say Percy, Grover, and Luke) are at the gates of heaven. St. Peter walks up to them and takes them to this golf course, right?

Now the golf corse is filled with watertraps and a crap- load of ducks. St. Perter says to the boys, "You can play golf forever, but if you hit a duck you will get stuck with an ugly girl for all of eternity."

So the guys start playing golf. Five minutes into it Luke hits a duck.

St. Peter poofs in with this syper ugly chick, handcuffs them together, adn poofs them away to an island in the middle of freaking nowhere.

Percy and Grover keep playing.

About 10 minutes later, Grover hits a duck.

St. Peter pops up with an ubgly girl, handcuffs the two together adn poofs them off to an island inthe middle of freaking nowhere.

Percy plays on.

Suddenly, at the final hole, St. Peter pops with this super hot girl. He handcuffs the two young people together and poofs away.

Percy askes the girl why she is here.

She replies, "I was just playing golf and hit a duck."

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

When life gives you lemons go out & buy vodka.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Beep
Boop Boop
Beep Bap Bap Bope
Boop Beep Beep
Beep Beep Bap
Bope Bope
Boop

If you didn't get this, copy/paste this onto your profile.

I am Me

I am not bent on your destruction

I love seeing you prevail.

I am not a ruthless person

who will do anything to get to the top

I will let you beat me

I will even give you a hand

up if you want.

I am not a mean little b

or an evil witch. I'm a kind sprit

based on self-content.

I just want to be friends

I'm trying so hard to make ammends.

So please forgive me.

For all the wrongs I've made

Forgive me and I'll behave.

I'm sorry.

Please Forgive me.

--KG

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

If you are a child of Athena band together and take over the world! Then we can spred our mothers teachings and the rest of the world can fuck itself

If you like to go through people's profiles looking for stuff to copy and paste or if you look through them cause you're bored copy and paste this into your profile! Sign Your Name: Shorty & KG Inc., harlee

Ten things to see before you die

1. A vegitarian be eaten by an animal.

2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.

3. Homer say somthing intellegent.

4. Taxes disaper.

5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.

6. Micheal Jackson be stalked by children.

7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.

8. Wrestling people forget their moves.

9. The coyote catch the road runner.

10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegle to wear thier clothing.

If you've ever gotten fifteen minutes into a horror movie and then insisted that it be turned off, copy this into your profile. I have.

KG's Stupid test:

18 or lower means you’re not stupid.

xGum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
xGum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
x You have ran into a glass/screen door.
xYou have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
x You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
total=6

xYou have ran into a tree.
It IS possible to lick your elbow
You just tried to lick your elbow.
You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
You just tried to sing them.
xYou have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
xYou have choked on your own spit.
xYou have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.
You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice
You just looked at it.
xYour hair is blonde/dirty blonde. (How does this make you stupid?)
XPeople have called you slow.

total so far=15

You have accidentally caught something on fire
xYou tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
You have caught yourself drooling.
xYou’ve fallen asleep in class
xIf someone says “fart” you laugh.
xYou just laughed.

total so far=19

Sometimes you just stop thinking
xYou tell a story and forget what you were talking about
x People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
x You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
xYou use your fingers to do simple math.

total so far= 23

You have eaten a bug.
xYou are taking this test when you should be doing something important
x You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
xYou’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket

total so far= 26

xYou sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.
x You break a lot of things.
xYour friends know not to use big words around you
x You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused
x You have fallen out of your chair before
xWhen you’re laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling

total so far= 32

total= 32 I stupid!

if your different in a good way put this in your profile.

if you believe these or think they are true, copy them onto your profile

2 out of 3 people understand fractions.

dont worry about the people in your past, theres a reason they didnt make it to your future.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

If you are setimental copy and paste this into your profile!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

"Holy Shit! Are you crazy?" "Why do you ask that? she pouted/ "Because you just fucking tried to set me on fire!" "I did? Wow! Cool! With what?!"

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

chipmunks hair

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

code geass

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

2:14

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

3:14

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

chipmunk talking to himself

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
13 min ago looking at the cieling

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Books

9. What are you wearing?
pants, t-shirt

10. Did you dream last night?
idk

11. When did you last laugh?
dinner

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
paint, shelves, pictures

13. Seen anything weird lately?
chipmunk

14. What do you think of this quiz?
idk

15. What is the last film you saw?

just married

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

books

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:

im retarded

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

end cancer forever!

19. Do you like to dance?

fucking duh

20. George Bush:

... no comment i did not kill him k? only in my dreams wats with the 3rd degree?

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

gwen or desolee

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

james, cairo

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

yes I would live on a broad.

LONG LIVE OLYMPUS!!

"REMEMBER WHEN"

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
Dad was your hero
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:)

If you are a total clutz copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line

hahahah!! funnyness!!

98 percent of American teens are bringing sexy back. If you're in the 2 percent that sexy never left, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have ever read/written a story that made no sense to everyone but you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever suffered from random-spazztic-dancing-attacks, put this on your profile.

If you've ever written something that everyone loves and then got a 70 on a school writing piece the next day, put this on your profile!

If you've ever tripped while standing still, put this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile.