Dearest Readers,

To be fortunate enough to find such a site as this that does not require the undesired necessity of only Fanfiction stories truly enlightens my heart. Every literature site that I have turned to to get my work across has always had some form of borrowed characters metaled into the author's own plot (which I have also been guilty of doing). Fortunately enough for my Irish luck, I am gleeful to know that there is a site such as this that does not hold the strict rules as Mibba.com or the unruly immaturity of Fanfiction.net. Those two sites are both wonderful sites to say the least but they do not substantiate what we as writers need. Not restrictions, but reasons to not be restricted. Not immature babble but well-educated works of the human mind. And not simple poems of love and loss but the ideal symbol of what we humans need to live.

Our freedom and English does that for us. So go on and write dearest authors and author-ets! For today, we live for today, and for tomorrow, we shall seek to live for and soon relish to call today! Onward with Imagination as our wild stallion of hope and dreams that will ride us off into the sunset of succession and integrity! And one day we will raise our mighty pens and pencils to the skies and say "We are free! We are free!" So help us Lord, we hace once more discovered fire!

Sincerely yours,

Irony M. Woods

...Please tell me you all realize that what I wrote up there was true but also just for the shits & giggles of writing like that. Haha! Yes, I am cruel. So anyways, my name is Irony M. Woods and I live in my own Wonderland. I'm a simple girl with firey red hair and dark brown eyes that are almost golden. I am the youngest of 3 children, I as the only girl yet the toughest out of all of them. Seriously. I have a best friend that anyone would truly kill for and honestly, I think she's my guardian angel. She's been with me for the worst times and even though I was her enemy at first, she still cared about me. That's what I love most about her too. We were the enemies that became best friends and have been since 3rd grade. Now we're both pushing to sophomores! woohoo! I am enrolled into the JROTC program and if none of you know what that is, it's an army program on how to become a leader. I took it because I wanted to change. I never liked who I was and I saw that JROTC was an opportunity to make me someone I'll love and cherish so I joined. It gets hard sometimes and sometimes I just want to say
"fuck this, I'll stay who I am" but I know this will make me a better person in the long run. I just don't like going to bed at 11 and getting up at 5 every god be damned day. My friends are the gothic/punk/emo kids at my school, the rebels per say. I'm sort of the more innocent one out of them all. - You could easily point me out of them since I'll be the only one wearing a baggy red hoodie and jeans too big for me with my beat up converse and drawing pad with my hair in a bun. Anyways, I've written at least a dozen stories and the only one I'd ever finished was 64 pages long that I wrote when I was 11 that had a cruddy lemon in it (I was experimenting okay!). The worst of it was tha it was a fanfiction of Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto and one of my OCs. Oh the agony of fake imagination! ;( I will be posting most of the stories I work on as side projects up here because I REALLY want to get them out there and my more active ones will still be written on Mibba. - So until then...adios!

~ Irony Woods

"I'M THE KIND OF GIRL YOU NEVER KNOW WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT. FOR ONE I AM DIFFERENT AND I’M OK WITH IT WHY SPEND MY LIFE TRYING TO BE NORMAL WHEN I AM NOT."

"OOh baby, I'm classic, like a little black dress."

"Ahhh, childhood...you think the world's your marble you can hurl on the ground and stomp on when your mad..." ~ Amber S.

"I do not agree with a word you say but will defend to the death your right to say it."~ Voltaire

"The problem with people nowadays is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?"

"-Because she is my sister, and therefore one half of me." ~ Marie Boleyn (The Other Bolyn Girl)

"This. is. SPARTA!!" ~ King Leonidus (aka, the ever so lovely and godly Gerard Butler)

"It's not really my problem if they think I'm weird." ~ Sid Vicious

"Everything I'm not made me everything I am."

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

"People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder..I say the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder."

"Either you love me or you hate me but no matter what you fuckers still know my name."

"Fuck with me? Bad idea. Fuck with my sister...haha, nice knowing you bitch!"

"I'm the one who has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life when I want to."

"Nobody's perfect. I've fucked up; fucked people up and have been fucked up. But, every hit was worth it because I felt it. I knew it was real. Life is real and I'm living it wrong everyday. I'm fucking up royally and doing everything opposite. But do I regret one thing? Never. Because at one point, what I did was what I wanted and I got my fucking satisfaction. My life is mine and no stupid bitches or immature boys can fuck it up for me anymore. I'm the real deal and I'd love to see you try and fucking break me."

"I couldn't tell why we are best friends. You wouldn't understand; the explanation is full of too many inside jokes and made up words. It's full of too much care and too many tears, too many laughs, and too many blonde moments. I don't think I will ever be able to give you a better reason except SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE."

"Sometimes it's best to not question your friends but to just help them dump the body bag into the river."

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That maiden there lived with whom you may know

By the name of ANNABEL LEE;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Then to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea:

But we loved with a love that was more than love-

I and my ANNABEL LEE;

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful ANNABEL LEE;

So that her high-born kinsman came

And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went envying her and me-

Yes!-that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Or those who were older than we-

Of many far wiser than we-

And neither the angels in heaven above,

Nor the demons under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling -my darling- my life and my bride,

In the there sepulchre by the sea,

On her tomb by the sounding sea."

Edgard Allan Poe, Annabel Lee

"When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Being and non-being creat each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow eachother.

Therefor the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinkings, keep it simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.

When you are content to be simply yourself
and don't compare or compete,
everybody will respect you.
do you want to improve the world?
I don't think it can be done.

The world is sacred.
It can't be improved.
If you tamper with it, you'll ruin it.
If you treat it like an object, you'll lose it.

There is a time of being ahead,
a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion,
a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous,
a time for being exhausted;
a tome for being safe,
a time for being in danger.

The Master sees things as they are,
without trying to control them.
She lets them go their own way,
and resides at the center of the circle."

Tao Te Ching, A chinese poem

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each days a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned
Leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
If tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
If today was your last day

Going against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts cause there's no second try
So live it like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your whole life

If today was your last day
If tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
And would you call old friends you never see
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies
And would you find that one your dreaming of
Swear up and down to god above
That you'll finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark
On ending a broken heart
You know it's never too late
To shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
Cause you can't rewind
A moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
Cause the hands of time
Are never on your side

If today was your last day
If tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have
And would you call old friends you never see
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies
And would you find that one your dreaming of
Swear up and down to god above
That you'll finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If Today was Your Last Day, Nickelback

Dear You-know-who,

For all the people that have pulled me through the hard times and have brought me into them for shits and giggles. It's sad to think that no matter what you do to me, a part of me will always love you (because I'm just such a gushy puddle of major ass push over.) Thank you for being there with me on those days where I could hardly contain myself and for seeing past the masks I put up when I tried to. You all mean more to me than you could ever fathom and some may call me crazy for trusting and loving you guys as much as I do, but I believe those are the people who never really know what true friendship and love feels like. We may grow up and apart one day or become sworn rivals until Twilight is forgotten (yeah right!) but know when I look down at my great grandkids and I'm talking about my younger days, I'll be thinking of you too because no matter what, you will ALWAYS be apart of my memories. Whether I want you there or not! :D Haha!

Lots of love always,

Irony M. Woods

Interests/Hobbies: I love anime,reading,writing,drawing,daydreaming,and any other thing you can think of! I'm up for anything honestly. One thing that is for certain though...I.LOVE.Gerard Butler. He is just..oh my god, I'd learn how to fuck him more than 6 ways from Sunday. He's delicious. And like every other spastic, love thriving teenage girl out there, I'm insanely, irrevocably and unconditionally in love with Twilight. I was extremely displeased with the comeout of Breaking Dawn and am hoping for some sort of remake (that will obviously never come). There were still SOME highlights in the book, but altogether, it did OKAY. But that's just me. :) I can't even begin to tell you how much I adore my family and friends. Sure, we're all scarred beyond repair and yeah, sometimes we will take a stab eachother in the necks with spoons and chunk out the meat just to shove it up eachother's asses but that's what frienship is all about right? Wanting to nearly kill one another but refusing to because you love one another too much to hurt eachother? Because you feel that for any reason you do fight is for the life or death of your precious person? I've never actually fought with my friends alot. Maybe because I'm so bendeable and flowing I just don't give two shits. Who knows? And one day you're all going to be seeing my books on the shelves and smiling, knowing that you remember me starting off as an ammature and then see where I will be from then. I want to be so good at writing that I can smoke Stephen King and Stephanie Meyer's asses like methhead to a joint! Muwahaha!

Movies/Shows: HOUSE! BOW DOWN BEFORE HUGH LAURIE AND HIS OLD SEXINESS! Righteousness! Scrubs, Wolf Lake, ER (John Stamos is in it!), Full House (John stamos is sexy), Family Matters. Twilight (my idolized actor/tresses are in that movie!); The Notebook (Ryan Gosling and Racheal Adams are just too damn sexy); Transformers (because Shia Labeouf is flipping cool and the effects for Optimus and Jazz rocked! My bro was so happy.); I, Robot (Will Smith is an amazing actor! Good looking for his age too.); The Dark Knight (RIP Heath Ledger, I salute to you before my Joker poster and Joker hat/bobblehead); Tuck Everlasting (kickass book too!!); Titanic (ahhhh, yes, the classic. Nothing can beat Leonardo Decaprio in an 1900s look! and yes, I AM old fashioned to the EXTREME); Sweeney Todd, The Barber on Fleet Street (And no, I don't like this movie because it has Johnny Depp. He's just a good actor); Edward Scissorhands (I cried...I did.); The Breakfast Club (WOO!!); The Jerk (I love Steve Martin); Constantine; Death Race; Malibu's Most Wanted; Dracula 2000 (I love you Gerry!); 300; Phantom of the Opera (and guess who plays the masked man? Yup, Gerard Butler, see? Now you all KNOW he is a beautiful scottish singer/actor); P.S I Love You; A Walk to Remember; Animal Farm (the book is brilliant, you all MUST read it! I command you to!).

Music: Don't even get me started on music...because then this will NEVER end. I pretty much listen to everything except SOME pop and most techno. Can't stand it and won't try to. I get headaches a little too easily (and when you have friends like mine...they are rather frequent.) so no techno for me. I lean more into alto rock and etc. Mostly the hardcore stuff. SPECIFICALLY: Linkin Park; Paramore; Evanescence; Trapt; Breaking Benjamin; Crossfade; HIM; Secondhand Serenade; Lifehouse; Ozzy (we should ALL know which Ozzy of course. :D); Insane Clown Posse (because I'm hella crazy. XD); Pat Benetar; Flyleaf; Trading Yesterday; Disturbed; Boys Like Girls; Simple Plan; Green Day; MCR (but of course!); Papa Roach; Goo Goo Dolls; Sum 41; Hoobastank; Good Charlotte; Godsmack; The Eaglez; etc...you get the idea...lol!

Books: The Hearts of Soldiers: Joanne Vannorsdall ~Green Angel: Alice Wollis ~Enthusiasm: Polly Shullman ~This Lullaby/Just Listen/Lock and Key: Sarah Dessen ~Immortal (Love Stories with a bite): Various Authors ~The Twilight Saga: Stephenie Myeer ~The Harry Potter Saga: J.K Rowling ~Edgar Allan Poe (The Complete Tales and Poems): Edgar Allan Poe ~America: E.R. Franks ~Wuthering Heights: Jane Austen ~The Mistress of the Art of Death: _ ~Animal Farm: George Orwell (also known as Eroc Blair, which is his real name).

Hometown: Chandler, AZ

Current Residence: London, New York

Country: United States of America

Occupation: Highschool Student

Yes, I KNOW these are annoying and YES, I know everyone has them but...I feel left out so I'm putting them up! Ha!

I'm that girl that laughs so hard and loud milk comes out of her nose.

I'm that girl who blushes so easily that when I don't blush, people think something is wrong with me.

I'm that girl who draws on her jeans with sayings from her favorite books.

I'm that girl who waves at strangers passing by in their cars because she feels it's rude NOT to acknowledge them.

I'm that girl who is so nice, everytime she does to say something harsh, it comes out like the greatest compliment ever spoken.

I'm that girl who is more of a mother than a child.

I'm that girl who HAS to be in all of her friend's business so she knows what she can do to help.

I'm that girl who runs out of the house late for school and realizes her hair is still in the towel and she has no shoes on.

I'm that girl that laughs when someone dies in horror movies.

I'm that girl who screams at the top of her lungs in fear when her pencil falls off the desk.

I'm that girl who'll backkick you if you sneak up on me.

I'm that girl who constantly looks over her shoulder and suddenly screams "LEAVE ME ALONE CASPER!"

I'm that girl who will eat her breakfast in a plastic bag on my way to school.

I'm that girl who eats cheerios from a cup.

I'm that girl who'll suddenly trip over herself and magically makes herself bleed out of no where.

I'm that girl who accidently falls and pulls the fire alarm in a five star restuarant, sending everyone in a panic.

I'm that girl who'll run all the way to your house at 10pm because you called me crying.

I'm that girl who would sacrifice her family if it meant saving a thousand.

I'm that girl who is so twisted and different from everyone else they don't even talk to me.

I'm that girl in the back of the classroom who glares at a dust particle because it's in my space.

I'm that girl who will cry over thunderstorms and say "The Angels are sad!"

I'm that girl who will spontaneously bust into an old 80s song.

I'm that girl who doesn't run away from the short bus, but gladly hugs it and says "I missed you."

I'm that girl who no one can define.

I'm THAT girl.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile

If you tell facts to freak out your friends, copy this into you profile

If you are addicted to ninjas & would like to become one, post this on your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more then five consecutive minutes, Copy & paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going say, right before you say it, Copy this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will and are proud of it copy and paste this to your profile.

If you KNOW the voices in your head are real, copy and paste this to your profile!

There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. Its when you argue with yourself and LOSE its weird. If you agree copy and paste this to your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste here.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

Teen Commandments

1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)

2. Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)

4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)

6. Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)

7. Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)

8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class.
(Hooters pays more)

9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")

10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave 'em in the middle)