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"Hello, please call back when Lazy has left the building."

- hangs up -

-- profile under construction --

In-Progress

Frankly, My Dear, I Do Give A Damn

Summary: With a Machiavellian "Dany-Dino" as his sister, little girls forsaking Santa Claus, and Starbucks coffee screwing up Josh's scattered mind, who needed Murphy's Law to end his quintessential friendship?

Ch. 6: Not started yet.

Future/Side-Works

The Quantum Mechanics of Waiting: Derek's no physics major, but even he knows 'The Law of Patience' won't get Eric anywhere. He is a culinary arts intern, and whatever his sister may say about dicks being the joystick to a man's brain, he's aiming for the stomach. Slash.

Put It On His Tab: If money makes the world go round, Adam's an alien. Between losing weight on ramen and losing sleep over making ends meet, his three years as a psychology major just can't help him figure his new roommate out. Slash.

Sea Shells By The Sea Shore: Clifton's an NYU graduate. He's working on Wall Street, so he's fine with his Fortune 500 office potato job. His life is perfect and stable; just the way he likes things. Then the boss' son is exiled to the second floor. They don't pay him enough for this. Slash.

To the Readers:

First of all, thank you very much just for reading!

Second: if I ever confuse you, or you need clarification, please shoot me a PM or review. As the writer, I know exactly how and what is going on, but especially with Blake's fun, albeit all-over-the-place, narration, things can get muddied, so don't be shy and confused.

Third: Any views the characters express are their own; I don't intend to offend anybody. I just like showing real life issues in a natural, hopefully humorous way. It's an easy way to touch on but not thoroughly explore themes, and the more lighthearted, sometimes conversational tone doesn't make it seem abrupt and stark with the setting.

Blanket Disclaimer: Any pop culture reference in my stories is merely that - a reference. I own none of the franchises, companies, brands, people, creative properties such as books and movies, etc. However, the story, characters, and related literary concepts, are mine.

Random Tangents:

I don't really review anymore. I used to be a Grammar Nazi too, but trying to catch up on all those months of hiatus have (see, I just spotted this; it should be "has") diminished my usual proofreading.

Besides, lately I've noticed bitching about grammar can be, well, bitchy. It's like that weird guy in the grocery store. "Hey, that shampoo's better." "What the fuck? Do I follow you to the ice cream aisle and tell you that chocolate's worth more than your mom?" At least, that's how I feel at the moment, after reading a rather ... irate profile about common grammatical misconceptions. I honestly clicked on that author's story and caught two typos (and one debated grammar concept; English grammar isn't as concrete as it should be) at the end. Hah. The typos were tense errors, something amusingly not ranted about. See, now I want to think "hypocrite," but then I'd have to apply/expect that standard and logic to/from everybody, and it's also not fair, because you aren't a good writer just because you're a good reader, and vice versa.

Maybe I was never a Grammar Nazi. I'm not fanatical enough to be termed "Nazi." In my reviews, I approached it objectively, basically sending a list, and I didn't really mind; I think the opposite of the latter part is what made the aforementioned author irritated: it became a pet peeve.

I still haven't gotten the chance to edit the first chapter. I consider it to be written in a slightly different style than the later chapters, which makes sense since it was written half a year ago. I'll get to it this weekend.

Writing Frankly, My Dear, I Do Give A Damn is incredibly enjoyable. Blake's narration is definitely the most fun facet. On that note, I'd advise readers to take everything he says with a grain of salt. It's first person, so from just his perspective, one prone to epic exaggeration. I say it like it's all fun and games, but I categorized it under "Drama" for a reason. I'll make all the characters people that Freud would LOL about.

(Not really. That would be seriously screwed up).

By the way, FMDIDGAD has already been outlined. I have at least the skeleton of it for the core parts, and steadily fleshing it out in advance as I go along.

After FMDIDGAD is finished, I'll either disappear off the face of FP again, hell will freeze over, or a new story will be started, likely one with a college setting.

All writers have relationships with cliches, but for some, it is parasitic, with the cliches benefiting. This is where the writer should fight back, so that the relationship becomes 'friends with benefits.' "It's you, cliche, not me," the writer should say. This cliche gets to live on, but it must change if any relationship can stand. Like the "cheerleader" stereotypes. I knew one who, while she acted shallow at times, was smart, used her social skills for something besides "high school politics" (she actually quit cheerleading and school sports because the athletic system was corrupt, based on favoritism over skill) and actually wanted to be a writer, which she knew her parents wouldn't support, since they'd worked hard all their lives to get her an easy life and a full ride through college. I read a quote that said writers are many people. We put on character personalities like a daily wardrobe. Stereotypes aren't very fashionable.

I realize FMDIDGAD, not to mention my future stories, isn't the most realistic. At any other time, or in this case, any other genre, I would completely advocate realism, but in romance, I can't help screwing with normalcy.

Somewhat Daily Linkage:

http://mylifeisaverage.com/

For just-so-awesomely-average days.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

To feel better about yourself.

http://cracked.com/

Hilarious and yet informative articles.

Yep, three humor sites.

I put line-breaks throughout, but FP seems adamant on ignoring them.