I R Baboon.

But, I'm not. I'm human. And I quite enjoy being human. However, I do occasionally dream of being a zoo animal. I'd really love to be the llama in the petting zoo. I could shit anywhere I want or spit on kids and get away with it. It'd be great fun. Unfortunately, I must use toilets, I can't spit on people and I certainly am not a llama.

I like to write things, but I lack the necessary drive/will/dream/motivation/grammatical forte/etc./etc. that one needs to be a writer. Therefore, I don't want to be a writer. I like doing this for fun. I'm not looking to impress. I just want to entertain for a meager five minutes.

Don't expect me to update often. I'm a lazy mo' fo' and one hell of a procrastinator. However, super fantastic comments may give me enough of a push to get my lazy ass to write something.