|S A Tirado|
Author has written 2 stories for Essay, and Horror.
My name is S. A. Tirado, and I'm from Brockport, New York. I developed My writing as a form of self therapy, and it has become the love of my life. I'm nineteen, and an aspiring mental health counselor/ novelist. I consider myself to be way out of the mainstream- i have an animated, abstract character. im often random and fly off on tangents that have little or no meaning to anyone else. i spend most of my time writing, drawing, painting, and doing photography. i have a tortoise, named Oona, who i consider to be my daughter.
My first (and favorite)story, temporarily dubbed "the Mirror" was developed as a short story, about 5 years ago. the antebellum was supposed to be the short story, full length. however, i was advised to continue it to become a full length novel, so after about three years i picked it up again, intending on doing so. the original story line has been warped to add detail so much that i have forgotten the original- but its okay because it was lame. T_T this is the rewrite, because the first copy was short and underdeveloped. this story is my pride and joy. It is kind of scary, sometimes, how the characters have a hold on my heart. one of the main characters, Jason, has been in my mind incubating since eighth grade. each character have a hold on my heart like a dead's man switch, especially Erik, Jason, and Nella. they each represent a different part within myself.
this is all well and good, except for the nights that they keep me awake, whispering for me to write. they continue to whisper through the sleeping pills. sometimes i would be sick with the urge to write, mainly because writing has been my only vent through all the great big wads of suck in my life, and i have to get it out somehow! This novel is almost like a cancer; it keeps eating away at me, eating me like a tumor, and sucking the life out of me. i feel that, once its finished, i might be able to sleep again in peace...for at least a year. then the sequel will begin. The act of writing is like that dangerous surgery that, if successful, will rid me of this parasite; but on the other hand, going through with it is caressing the cheek of Death.
i feel as if part of it is my fear. There is so much to fear of this book. i fear it reveals too much of myself and that will make me prone to weakness, like an exposed cavity that the media can ceaselessly drill at. I fear that the thing i have slaved over for the last five years will be a failure, that my mother will read it, that, upon reading it my mother will flip her lid and we'll have another fight. (i don't really fit in in my family. as a good country song once said, "there ain't no good guy, there ain't no bad guy. there's just you and me and we just disagree.")I'm afraid that if i don't spell everything out, audiences will not get my point, but if i do, i will become redundant. i'm afraid that I'm going to upset God, and I'll go to Hell. But what I'm afraid of most is the feeling that I'm toying with forces greater than I am as I'm writing it, and dancing on the edge of a coin between the light and the fire, and that I'll lose my balance, fall and get burned. I pray for god to protect me every day, and for Jesus to forgive my sins, and forgive my awful writing, and i thank him for my blessings. i also pray that's enough.
P.S. im looking forward to getting constructive criticism on this piece, in order to allow it to reach its full potential. because its been in the making so long, some of the stray ends get lost. its always good to have another set of eyes (or several) to look over your work. And dont be afraid to message me and ask questions!
P.S.S As of last night, The Mirror is now complete. i feel really empty... the project that i have been slaving at for five years is done. what to do now?
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