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DerangedxandxSarcastic
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email: Email
since: 09-01-09, id: 687265, Profile Updated: 09-01-09
country: Canada
Author has written 4 stories for Young Adult, Fable, Life, and Love.

I, DerangedxandxSarcastic, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, it's age or anything else. I have joined the review revolution.

~o~

~Favourite Quotes of the moment~

Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.
-A Long Way Down, Nick Hornby

We all start out as little fishies in our Daddy's pants and we all end up a Thanksgiving feast for the worms. And in between you've got to find a few good reasons to give a fuck.
-How to Kill a Rock Star, Tiffany DeBartolo

"If you believe that God makes miracles, you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve..."
-Dexter, Jeff Lindsay (possibly from the TV show)

Life is a disease, sexually transmitted and fatal.
-Neil Gaiman

"I'm not crazy, I'm eccentric!"
"What's the difference?"
"Money,"
-Queen Seraphim ~ a Slytherin's Dastardly Plans ch.21

"When life gives you lemons you squeeze them, hard. Make invisible ink. Make an acid poison. Fling it in their eyes."
-Soon I will be Invincible, Austin Grossman

"As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll."
-Mick Shrimpton, Spinal Tap

"This pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms is enough to prompt the question, 'What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?"
-Review for Spinal Tap's album "The Gospel According to Spinal Tap"

"You should start a mass debate."
-My padre at a family dinner at BP's

Writing is like prostitution, first you do it for love, then for a few close friends and finally for money.
-Stole it off someone else's profile... Can't remember who's now.

A wee bit about moi...

I'm Haley I adore writing and, like many people here I'm sure, I want to be an author. Also though I want to go into early childhood education to work in a daycare centre. I speak French as well as English so there's the chance that one or two stories in French might crop up amongst my others.

Something else that may be of interest to some is that I have a profile on the wonderful sister site to this one Fanfction.net, if such things interest you then do come visit me and review ;) I write so far exclusively Harry Potter fanfiction but that may change. Here's the link to my profile there -> http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1380909/

Some really fab books I've read->

Holly Black's books; Tithe, Valiant and Ironside are all extremely well written and thrilling.

Also anything by Scott Westerfeld but especially what was the Uglies, Pretties, Specials trilogy but now has a fourth; Extras.

The Deltora books by Emily Rodda, children's books, but good ones.

Books by Anne McCaffrey, about dragons and other crazy relations to dragons.

Books by Jonathan Kellerman, murder mysteries, very well written, rather disturbing at times.

The Chronicals of Fearie by O.R.Melling. Fantastic. That's all I can think to say.

The Narnia series by C.S.Lewis, well most of you probably know how great this is(even if just from the movie, but if that's the case you should go read the books!)

Lord of the Rings, an all around fantastic read.

The Seven Sleepers series by Gilbert Morris, the world after a nuclear war.

The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson, confusing and really quite interesting.

Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett, a very good book and so very worth reading.

World Without End, sequel to Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. Just as fantastic as the first.

The Stand by Stephen King, pretty sad at times, but fantastic. My favourite of Stephen King's books that I've read.

The Dead Zone by Stephen King, also fantastic but a very sad ending.

'Salem's Lot by Stephen King, the best vampire book I've ever read. (You may notice that Twilight isn't even on the list)

Everything's Eventual by Stephen King, a book of eleven short stories, Lunch at the Gotham Cafe is my favourite but they are all phenomenal, and creepy to S.King-like perfection.

Soon I will be Invincible by Austin Grossman, a look at supervillains and heroes that you are not likely to get anywhere else.

The Dexter trilogy by Jeff Lindsay, absolutely brilliant books and the TV show is very fantastic as well. Kind of dark and creepy though.

I'd say all of Stephen King's novels but I haven't read them all, but I am certain they are all fantastic.

Relating to my stories:

Nothing to say quite yet.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

~o~

That's all I can think to tell you for now, I'll add more as it comes to me.

So for now see you all on the flip side ;D (Translation -> when you read my stories)

Review if you feel the urge -sends mind urge your way-

Join the revolution!


Always remember; you are unique… just like everybody else

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1. Hold My Heart Lightly
A poem of the one that holds my heart. I dislike going so far as genre-ing it as 'Tragedy' but it is rather sad, at least I think
Complete - Love - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 206 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 9-9-09 - Published: 9-9-09
2. I Have reviews
Have you ever..? Were there a genre 'Hurt' I'd have selected that as this poem portrays, rather blatantly, my years of hurt.
Complete - Life - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 500 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-9-09 - Published: 9-9-09
3. The True Version of Snow White reviews
As the title says, a different version of the story we all know and love. Written for my English class.
Complete - Fable - Fiction Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 762 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-3-09 - Published: 9-3-09
4. An Ordinary Day reviews
An ordinary school and seven ordinary peoples who's lives are about to change for good.
Complete - Young Adult - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 727 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-3-09 - Published: 9-3-09
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