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Onzwald
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since: 09-07-09, id: 688214, Profile Updated: 10-27-09
country: Australia
Author has written 2 stories for General, and Young Adult.

yes i am also on FF.net here is my profile from there: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1906594/Suomanona_Onzwald

Name: La- as if i'd give out my name... you may now call me Onzwald.
Age: GAH IM 13!! YAY!!
Date of birth: October (not telling day) 1996
Gender: Female
Hair color: dark,dark really dark brown
Eye color: hazel brown
Shoe size: 10 - 11 LADIES SIZE (big feet)
Height: 190somfin centimeters (geeze i never knew how tall that sounded til now :( im too tall)
LOVES: RvB (red vs blue), cartoons, TRANSFORMERS (TF 07, TFA and TF2: R.O.T.F), rise against (the band),Short Stack (the band), Andy from short stack, randomness, MAXIMUM RIDE, other cartoonaholics, YAKKO WARNER, twilight (book series and movie though the movie sucks compared to the books), TALKING, reading and the TF2 autobots: Bumblebee, Sideswipe, Skids, Mudflap and then there is Wheelie and Jetfire (who become autobots... become is the keyword there).
likes: cartoons, sweets(especially lollypops), random things, SPELLING(school subject),honey-soy chicken chips and -sometimes- writing.
dislikes: gravy, gross stuff, damn doors that dont open, lemons, limes, mary-sue OCs, people who write bad fanfics, plagiarism, cleaning, and when stuff doesn't go the way i want it to.
Books i love: The maximum ride series, The twilight series, (the seems) the glitch in sleep and the split second, the pheonix files: arrival, the hunger games, peeps, skinned, evernight, the tricksters, midnighters series, must love black, and feeling sorry for celia (celia is pronouced cecila). all of these books are worth reading (except maybe for twilight that gets sucky by the middle of the third book) well at least i think they are.

little useless facts about me:

1. i probably talk more than any other thing i do.
2. i ADMITTED that i am better at talking than i am at playing sports (and i am pretty good at sport).
3. my most used way of speaking is either for humour or talking in deadpan sarcasm at someone else's comment.
4. i started laughing at a drawing i drew in the middle of class at school just because i drew the line wrong...and won't hesitate to do that again.
5. My main hobby would be acting random/funny and making other people laugh.
6. i SUCK at drawing. except cartoons (im pretty good at those)
7. My way of getting out of trouble is talking myself out of it.
8. i am a cartoonaholic and proud to be one.
9. i get obsessed with things like cartoons, songs, books and jokes easily.
10. i correct things like grammer and spelling automatically.
11. (HOLY SH_T 11 FACTS) i don't swear unless there are no adults or anyone who would tell around.
12. i am a very very big klutz and have big feet ...not a good combination
13. i use lots of slang.
14. i actually said this to someone "time line?...time isnt made out of...lines.. it is made out of...circles...that is why...clocks are round" (caboose from RvB said that before me)
15. I want to be either a voice actor or a comedian when i get a job.
16. i try to keep things simple but always fail epically... like i have with keeping this under 10 facts...

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ THIS PARAGRAPH I JUST NEEDED TO WRITE THIS SOMEWHERE!!
the ONE thing that PISSES ME OFF MOST! is that when i have something intelligent to say no-one listens but when i have something funny or random to say everyone hears it!! it's like people think that just because i say things that are funny i can't say anything that's intelligent too!! well guess what I CAN AND DO SAY STUFF THAT IS WORTH HEARING!! you just don't listen.
YOU CAN START READING AGAIN NOW!

UPCOMMING STORY ALERT!!
i am about to start writning a new story called: my perfectly unperfect life
thanks for taking the time to read this

SOME OF MY FAVOURITE FUNNY QUOTES/SAYINGS OF ALL TIME!! (there are more but i just didn't wan't to tell you)

o The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

o It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

o Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

o Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

o Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

o Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

o Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

o The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

o Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

o Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

o There are three sides of an argument -- your side, my side and the right side.

o The trouble with life is there's no background music.

o Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

o Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

o When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

o On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

o Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

o The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

o Don’t knock on death’s door, ring the bell and run… he hates that.

o I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

o I Love You is an 8 letter phrase
But then again so is Bull Shit...

o I'm only laughing on the outside My smile is only skin deep If you could see inside I'm only crying You might join me for a weep.

o Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.

o I put the laughter in slaughter.

o An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.

o I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because
I hate plants.

COPY AND PASTE THINGIES TIME!!

If you're not dead yet, Copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever ran into something while walking with a book, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the 90's shows were the best, copy and paste this onto your profile.

95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Wolf Pyralis, Rabid Rabbit's Rampage, BloodySalvation, Sonicalia, metal.lamp-silvertongue, Kaity the Chameleon, Trauts, SpinalTapSoundGuy, Not G. Ivingname, ONZWALD.

If you think you are trying to fit in by putting your name on this list, go back to school because your missing the point.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

That same 98 would probably turn suicidal if Myspace was down for 48 hours. If you're part of the 2 that would laugh their asses off at their pain, copy and paste this into your profile.

95 percent of teens would freak if Hanna Montana retired, copy and paste this if you would be on your knees yelling "FINALLY"!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you want to join the dark side for the cookies, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugarhigh, copy this onto your profile

.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you ever randomly hum old theme songs to childhood shows, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy& Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If have you ever spent more time memorizing Yakko's World than doing your homework, copy and paste this on your profile.

()()
(0.0)
( _ )

Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help it achieve world domination. phear the cuteness.

If you act strangely for no apparent reason, post this to your profile.

TRANSFORMERS COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!!

l=lVl=l
l=l l=l
\l H l/
AUTOBOTS

vs.

l\ .M. /l
\l=V=l/
l\lVl/l
DECEPTICONS

If you laugh maniacally at the weirdest of times, like when you're in a room with only one person and both of you are silent, and make said person look at you strangely, copy and post this to your profile.

If, and only IF, you nod at every one of these and/or laugh at them, then post this to your profile.

Friends will say "You deserve better" Best friends will call him and say " You die in seven days"

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork."

Of all the things I've lost... I miss my mind the most.

Of course I'm talking to myself: who else can I trust?

Don't follow me I'm lost too.

At least I don't CARE what those mindless people think of me.

It's always in the last place you look...of course it is! WHY would I keep looking AFTER I found it?

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

Haha. I don't get it.

A good friend will come bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in the next cell saying,"Let's do it again!!"

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

If at first you don't suceed then sky diving isn't for you.

Those who throw objects at the crocodiles will be asked to retrive them.

Set sail in a general...THAT WAY direction.

Music is my boyfriend.

Definition of Your Mom: How to anwser a question when your bored.

Poke me. I dare you.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that.

Bom. Chicka. Waa. Waa.

You cry. I cry. You laugh. I laugh. You jump off a cliff. I laugh even harder.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the people you hate.

Danger: The person beside you is stupid.

It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown,28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

This world is full of crazy people.THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER!!

Defenition of homework-crude form of mind control still practiced in some priminal areas of the world

One day your prince will come.Mine?Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions.

WARNING:Do NOT follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.

I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me,and hell was afraid I'd take over.

I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?

Whenever you feel pissed off at someone,walk a mile in their shoes. That way you'r a mile away from them and you have their shoes!BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Did you know...Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity.

Have you seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorway and run away... he hates that.

Paper may beat rock but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keybord can crush your crummy pen!

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the anwser and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Parents spend the first parts of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.

My knight in shining armor turned put to be a loser in aluminum foil.

How are the force and duct-tape the same?- Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!

The sun has set the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!!

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away.

Who was the first person to look a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt"?

When French people swear do they say padon my English?

"Most people learn by observation, and there are a few who lear by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot."

If technically after midnight it's morning, then why do we call it the middle of the night? Shouldn't we call it something like early morning?

- I got that from Remember The 90’s Cartoons’ profile

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

- and I got that from Paulagirl’s profile- (I love stealing random things that appeal to me!!)

Take time to read each sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is an cat

This is idiot cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of ever line(HAH! Copy this into your profile if you find this funny)

to those of you who have just read this and think im crazy let me tell you i am not i just like funny things and are a bit random. (even my start sign says so: Librans born between the 4th and 13th of October are a little wacky by nature but harmless. If that's you, life is a bundle of fun and you can expect the unexpected from time to time. You like the surprises that life throws at you. (libra)

IF YOU HAVE READ ANY OF MY STORIES OR POEMS PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THIS: IF YOU REALLY REALLY LIKE MY STORY OR POEM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (i beg of you) TO REVIEW. IF YOU DONT REVIEW I MIGHT DISCONTINUE THE STORY OR TAKE DOWN THE POEM BECAUSE I WILL THINK THEY ARENT GOOD IF THEY DON'T GET REVIEWS!

end.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

1. My Perfectly Unperfect Life »
just some stories that feature me and my friends from school. some might seems a little bit stupid. rated T for some of the things people in my class say XD R&R everybody
Young Adult - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,171 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 10-27-09 - Published: 10-27-09
2. Drama acrostic poem reviews
just a simple poem. it's very short and i had to do this for a simple english assignment last term at school. R&R
General - Fiction Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-18-09 - Published: 9-18-09
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