Hi y'all!! (BTW if you fancy checking out any of my non-original stuff I'm on fanfiction too!)

Name: Okay, if I tell you this, doesn't it sort of defeat the object of the name at the top? Yeah, that's what thought...

Age:15 plus a bit. My mental age, however, differs considerably ;P

DOB: oops, i forgot! Only joking, it's er...help anyone?

Siblings: None. Zilch. But never mind, all the more money for me (winks and grins evily)

Lives in: A house, a street, a place with lots of houses, Teesside, Stockton-on-Tees, North East England, (supports MFC, if that helps. Damn, i don't even like footie all that much :D), but i don't live in Middlesbrough or Newcastle or anywhere obvious like that lol. As an extra clue (ya might wanna google it if ya's cba) it's Europe's largest private housing estate (nicer than it sounds, generally, as long as you avoid tesco after about 8 at night. Unless, of course, you're in dire need of jelly beans -right cath?!)

Hair: brown

Eyes: green as a green thing called bert

Authors/Books: PC and Kristen Cast (House of Night, which tbh, is better then twilight in sooo many ways), Stephanie meyer (condracting myself), HIS dark materials (Philip Pullman's, in case you were wondering, OMG that film was a pile of BEEEP!!), Harry potter by JKRowling(who else?), JRRRRRTolkein, CSLewis, Terry Pratchet

Music: Fall Out Boy (favourites ever...) Panic!, Linkin Park, Paramore, Muse, 30 seconds to Mars, Foo Fighters, Goo Goo Dolls, Jimmyeatworld, Evanescence, Killers, kings of Leon, Editors, taylor swift (random addition, i know), MCR, Used, All American Rejects, ATL, VersaEmerge (little known band, if you like paramore you'll like these too)

Friends: Amy (Noodles), Emma (Pasta), Cath (Custard), Rhiannon (Manga), Becki, Amy(the other one), DDDDDDDD!!(lmao)

So, Noodles, Pasta, Custard and Manga are nicknames... yeh, I know, tell me 'bout it. :c) CUTE!!

Day of the week: Saturday. (when these open doors were open ended!!)

Animals: My 2 babies Jack and Jill (They're cats. Cats I tell you! Not...oh, never mind...), bears, alpacas, llamas, fishes and sheeps (hi Rhi), COWS!!

School Subjects: Graphics. That's the end of the list.

Notice: PM me if, like me, you know who the voice at the back of the RE classroom is!!

Some random things you should know about me: 1) I hate feet. And toes. 2) I'm slightly insane. 3) I live in a house. 4) I am me and nobody else. So get over it. 5) My nickname is Cardi. (I'm obsessed with cardigans. Cardigans are my life. -cough- ) 6) Happiness doesn't necessarily equate to sanity. I am living proof...

So...me: I write the way I talk and also how it would appear in a film (not like that'd ever happen to me). When I write poems, they're usually serious, but stories are either sarcastic and very gossip-girl americanised or else are very morbid and depressing. My characters are also random as hell, and I think of the dodgiest names going. So, that's my writing style summed up. From this profile, you will be gaining a deep insight into my brain. I.e. the whole thing's a pile of crap. P.s. If I recommend proof-reading on any reviews I write for anyone, then feel free to call me a hypocrite. I never ever ever (okay, that's enough evers) proof read. Sniffle. Plus, I write as it comes, no matter how bad that is. Tough luck 'n' all. And ha-dee-ha. God, I'm weird. Oh, here's another thing! A published author once came into our school and told us that the writing medium affects what we write. She was sooo write (geddit? ;-P). You can assume that if something I've written is sarcastic, random, strange, makes you laugh, or is otherwise a pile of bottom extract, I've either typed it first or wrote it in felt tip pen and then typed it (to all those who know me, Devil-Child and Farmer Jim are living proof of this). If it's serious, morbid, dark, depressing, makes sense and is heart-wrenching, in that case I have wrote it in pencil beforehand and typed it up later. Or otherwise, I've typed it up first and have just had a seriously bad day. C'est moi. Woah, now that was long-winded, wasn't it, fellow... people (I assume?!).

Got my friends to describe me in 3 words:

Emma:- opinionated, pretty (thanks hun :D), funny.
Rhiannon:-opinionated, intelligent, (didn't give me the other one :P)
Cath:-realistic, snobby (she can't talk :c)), generous (as an extra note, Cath is the girl who thinks slut is spelled spuk. ahem. yeah, whatever honey. Although she did give me a choccy or three today. So I might take it back... :-D xx)
Becki:- funny, kind, mad (good combo?!) and also very helpful and supportive, may i add? (xx)
DDDDDDDD:- mad, strange, weird (why, thank you...)
Amy(the other one lol):- I don't know (yes, it's three words, but it just ain't good enough!! lol'in around at the mo)
Still need to get Amy number one's answers...hmmm...
After carefully analysing these words, I am now going to rank my friends... (llc - laughing like crazy)

Just because I'm not the same as you, it doesn't mean that I'm any different. If everyone was the same, no one would be different. After all, we can't all be as sane as I am... cough ...

¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨)¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´

~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, died, or is LIVING WITH CANCER

I like the Twilight books, but NOT the film. The reason I like Paramore and Muse is NOT because of Twilight. Plus, I'm on Team Jacob (once he stopped his pining). Glad I got that out of the way. Moving on...

Stuffs:

1. True friends only make you cry from laughing so hard.

2. RAP= Retards Attempting Poetry.

3. Me? Sarcastic? Nooo...

4. Crayons rock.

5. Oink. I'm a cow.

6. Whoever invented the Oreo deserves a hug.

7. Homework hurts trees

8. Pirates are cooler than ninjas. Ahoy.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: God made man, then he said, "I can do better than that!" and made woman.

Alya (pronounced ‘A-lee-a’ or ‘Al-ee-a’ – depends on the way you say it) is a fictional character created by me, so hands off. She has a surname. Good luck finding that one out!

I’m going to finish by asking anyone who knows my real name not to give it away, I will be truly grateful. (I am actually being serious for once here.)

Also, check out Strawberry White Tiger’s stuff (in my favourites). Finally, would like to advertise Anna Christie and The NeverEnding Nightmare (see favourites again) who write some of the most amazing poetry I’ve ever read. Thumbs up to you guys and your amazing talent. :c)

UPDATE: visit Custard yehh on fanfic. She rocks. PM her and tell her to WRITE SOMETHING!!
then: Becki, Becki, Becki... where do I begin? I advertised her here for all of about 40 minutes until she made me take the advertisement off. Well, grrr... How very dare you! :c) You have to find a way of finding her and read her stuff, honestly it's AMAZING!! (She'll probably make me take this off too lol)
next up: DDDDDDDD!! I killed him for not having an account on here. Evil person. Evil! Luv ya tho ;P

Right, I’m done with this section now…

Things actually said in court:

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August eighth?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

My CURRENT fav songs (will change a lot! lol): FOB-It's not a side effect of the cocaine, I'm thinking it must be love, acoustic version; Biffy Clyro-Mountains(Acoustic version); paramore-turn it off; p!atd-camisado; 30 seconds to mars-the kill; lostprophets-it's not the end of the world; FOB-Pavlove; AAR-gives you hell (of course! lol); Flyleaf-i'm so sick (call me what you like, i couldn't care less)

If anybody has any songs that they'll think i'll like, please tell me in R&R or by PM and i'll have a listen! Unless it's by FOB or paramore coz i've heard every song by them going! Thanx xx

I am against: Racism, sexism, and any other type of stereotype you could label. Labeling is wrong and should be used only for those who have done wrong such as rapists, terrorists, and murderers. If you agree with me, copy and paste this into your profile.

You can do anything if you put your mind to it. Live life, like, love, make the world a better place.

Next time you eat and drink something, think of how many people in this world would kill you for that meal. Everyone always links Africa with poverty, but there is still poverty worldwide.

They say that, on average, you are never more than 3 meters away from a rat. Don't squirm - instead think of the people who have to sleep with those rats.

ATTENTION ALL! Get rid of the overused phrase 'lol' and start using 'llc' aka 'laughing like crazy'. It's my aim in life. Well, on second thoughts... Oh, for goodness sake just do it people. Please? :c)

Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns on the light?

I have a grand total of 2 brain cells. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Or die.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

The cost of living hasn't affected it's popularity.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Death is hereditary.

Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

Llamas will one day rule the world.

If it's called 'The Universal Declaration of Human Rights' does that mean that aliens get human rights too?

Things that make me shiver: 1)When Hayley sings 'again' in Paramore's Turn It Off; 2)Versa Emerges piano intro; 3) Spiders; 4)Coldness in general, duh...; 5)men in string vests; 6)The sensation of a power shower; 7)Starving African kids; 8) Really deep water, still water too, also dark water (but, yes, i do wash.); 9) Feet. And toes. In general. 10)When babies attempt the screamo off Flyleaf's I'm So Sick (this happens regularly if you ever go to Starbucks on a bank holiday.

Thank you for putting up with my randomness. Please review my stories (once I put them up) and I hope for the life of me that you like them otherwise i will be broken-hearted (it's just started raining parmesan shavings, so best be off then people). Goodbye for now. And a bit later too. Cya's. Au revoir. A bien tot. Alrite...