An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations. - Charles de Montesquieu - French lawyer & philosopher (1689 - 1755)
For those of you who don't know me, I'm known to millions of TV viewers worldwide as 'The Young Genghis Khan ' on the FOX sitcom, 'Talk To The Hand', also starring Andy Dick (as William Shakespeare), Macho Man Randy Savage (as His Holiness, Pope Gregory VI) and Carmen Elektra (as Fred, the incredibly effeminate bartender who always manages to end up topless), also starring Jeffry The Goat (as 'the voice of reason'). Together, we solve crimes. Check your local listings.
My hobbies include molesting chocolate cake when it's not looking, splitting the atom, finding the cure for all known diseases, building orbital space stations, designing major cathedrals, averting world war III (can't be bad), fighting crime and, of course, learning to read.
My movie credits include: Pepsi: The Anti-Christ (co-starring Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Jane Seymore and Michael Jackson), Death On 142, 571 Legs: The Mutant Killer Centipede Story (co-starring John Wayne and Ronald McDonald), Mollusks In Heat IV (co-starring Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy) and my Oscar nominated film, Your Lemur And You: A Guide To Cross-Species Love Affairs (co-starring Oscar Wilde and William Shatner).
I'm a former fanfiction writer that has developed a taste for creating my own universe and characters. The judge says I'm not allowed to play god with 'real people' any more, so I guess I'll just have to stick with this writing thing.
If you care to venture forth and read my works, thank you. I welcome all comments, good and bad, as long as they're constructive. I have a pretty thick skin about reader comments and am always looking to improve on my own work, so any insight is welcomed. The worst thing I might do if you say something negative about my work is hunt you down and chain you to a mountain of cooked steak in a bear infested forest. And really, would that be so bad?
I've put together a mailing list at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JW_HOUSE_OF_PAIN/ for those interested in keeping up to date on where my writing goes from here. Please join, if you're so inclined. I've just added a fully colored and inked pic of my new character, Centurion, drawn by Rod Davila, to the files section. It's pretty damn impressive, if I do say so myself. Thanks, Rod! You da man!
Currently I'm working on several novels regularly here at fictionpress:
IN PROGRESS:
Centurion: Action/Adventure/Suspense -CHAPTER FOUR ADDED AS OF MAY 09, 2008! Daniel Kirby lives a perfectly boring, mediocre life as a call center employee who eats lunch alone and has no friends. He is drowning in a sea of regret and lost opportunities that can all be traced back to the death of his only true love, Caroline. As he stands in his bathroom, shaving for work one morning, a magician known as 'Mr. Magus' suddenly appears in Kirby's bathroom surrounded by smoke and fire, informing him that in an alternate reality, Kirby's girlfriend lived and he became the superhero known as 'Centurion', only the Daniel Kirby from his reality died in a bomb blast while saving hundreds of innocent lives. Now, Mr. Magus wants to bring this Daniel Kirby back to his reality to take the place of his fallen alternate self. We've all hated our lives at one point or another. What would you if someone offered you a chance to live your dreams? For Kirby there's no choice to be made when he finds out that Caroline is alive in this alternate universe, and must learn to become a hero while defeating the plans of Mars: The God Of War, and his minions, Phobos, Deimos and The Visigoths.
Robert The Devil: Action/Supernatural/Adventure - CHAPTER ONE NOW AVAILABLE AS OF APRIL 14, 2008! Based on the Wikipedia entry for 'Robert The Devil': "Once there was a woman who, unable to conceive a child and, getting no help from her prayers to Heaven, laid down with the Devil and was finally able to bear a son. From the moment of his birth the boy shows his vicious instincts, which urge him, when grown to manhood, to a career of monstrous crime. At last the horror which he inspires everywhere causes him to reflect, and, having found out the awful secret of his birth, he hastens to Rome to confess to the pope. He undergoes the most rigorous penance, living in the disguise of a fool at the emperor's court in Rome. Three times he delivers the city from the assault of the Saracens, but, refusing all reward, he ends his life as a pious hermit. According to another version he marries the emperor's daughter, whose love he has won in his humble disguise, and succeeds to the throne." This tale is an updated and re-imagined version of the Robert The Devil legend, told in modern times and set in Los Angeles. It has influences including Neil Gaiman's 'Sandman' and the movie 'The Highlander'. It has all the action elements you're used to from me, but has a new supernatural element I've never played with before.
COMPLETED NOVELS:
Den Of Thieves: Action/Adventure/Suspense - NOW COMPLETE! The story of a mutant thief in the year 2043, a time when America is a fascist state and big brother controls and watches everyone. Oliver Reed is 'The Wraith', and working for 'The Cabal', which is led by the world's most powerful villain: Malevolence. Reed wants to replace Malevolence as the head of the criminal organization but that won't be easy until he finds out the secrets of his opponent's powers. As if that wasn't enough to deal with, he also has to deal with his world's 'superheroes', all of whom work for the government and enforce the fascist status quo (you'll see many Marvel and DC archetypes acting as the heroes), while being hunted by a DOD (Department Of Defense) task force led by a Gregory Newcastle III, a man who lost both arms in a battle with The Wraith many years ago. Think of this story as a comic book inspired novel, only from the villain's point of view. It's inspirations include The Watchmen, V For Vendetta, The X-Men, Batman, George Orwell's 1984, The Roots Of Evil (by Ervin Staub), Sleeper (by Ed Brubaker), Sun Tzu's Art Of War and most every spy movie I've ever seen. This story is currently ongoing and is in its final third of the novel.
Angelwing: Action/Adventure/Western - NOW COMPLETE! Max Rossiter is a former U.S. Marshall who became disgusted and frightened with his animalistic side after seeking and gaining revenge on the men who killed his family. In search of answers, he fled to Japan and befriended an aging Samurai called Hiroshi, who taught him the ways of Bushido. Now that he's returned to America after ten years, Rossiter becomes embroiled in a battle with Damian Durrant, the man who runs the town of Angelwing (though the town's occupants call it 'The Devil's Claw'). Durrant runs the town as a slave camp, shanghaiing and tricking his captors into coming to his town, a town from which they'll never leave. Durrant's goal is to find the remains of the true cross that Jesus was crucified upon, which he believes is hidden in the American frontier. Durrant hopes at first to seduce Rossiter to his side, but things don't go the way he planned, and soon the two men and all of Durrant's thugs are embroiled in constant battle. This novel is inspired by many western movies I've enjoyed, especially the Clint Eastwood 'Dollars Trilogy' and too many martial arts films to name here.
There are a few other stories and snippets here, including a humorous poem/song written for my cat entitled 'Cat In The Closet', 'Templar' (more an idea than an actual novel at the moment), 'I Am Time Magazine's Person Of The Year' (an opinion piece) and 'Pioneer', a short vignette written many years ago.
Hope you enjoy it.
WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING:
Here are some completely unsolicited reviews of my works so far:
"Happiness is catching a Marlin off the Key West coast... and reading Den Of Thieves."- Ernest Hemingway
"I like his stories on a boat, beside a goat or on a float." - Dr. Seuss
"Ce gars gouverne mon monde. ("This guy rules my world!) - Leo Tolstoy.
"John Westcott is the one writer to rule them all and in the darkness, bind them!" - J. R. R. Tolkien
"I thought Tarzan was the ultimate male... until I read Max Rossiter in Angelwing! Everything else is just monkey poop!" - Edgar Rice Burroughs
"By jove, this Westcott chap tells a ripping good yarn! It's anything but elementary!" - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Thanks for your reading, reviewing and patience.
Best regards,
JW (Formerly known as 'Trippy: The Acid Clown')
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