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| fariswheel |
Author has written 2 stories for Fable, and Romance. "Someone once told me that I like to fix other people's problems because I don't know how to fix my own. Maybe that's true, but then again, if I can improve people's lives through shouldering their burdens, it truly improves my life as well. People lean on me, and I have to be strong for them. When I get to the point where too much weight has been placed on me and I can't take it anymore, I lean on God." -I Still Believe, by woodstock1969 "You should try punching someone—much more satisfying than this 'high road' of which you speak."- Donovan, Just For Glory, Imaginary Parachute The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. -George Bernard Show Cynicism is not realistic and tough. It's unrealistic and kind of cowardly because it means you don't have to try. -Peggy Noonan The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interupts a discussion. -G. K. Chesterton I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. -Dave Barry (1947 - ) To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. -Bertrand Russell If you ever become someone, don't ever let anyone buy you a drink. The next thing you know, they'll sit down with you and start talking, and you'll never be able to get rid of them. -Joe DiMaggio First, he took me to Build-a-Bear Workshop. "Seriously?" I said. "No, when I said I was going to make you a teddy bear, I actually meant, 'haha, look at those sappy losers, let's go shoplift from Hot Topic.'" He lightly smacked the back of my head. "Yes, seriously. Bad idea?" "Adorable idea," I smiled. -The Inexplicable State of Being There, big.break.and.laryngitis So during math, I turned to him for the first time in weeks and said, "Brody, if I said, 'let's go to Massachusetts and get married,' what would you say?" Brody stuck the end of his pen in his mouth. "I'd be like, 'we're not a couple of lesbians, Leesh, we can get married here.'" And that was how I made up with Brody Hansen. Well, that was the beginning. It continued like this: "What?" Mike asked. "You guys are getting married?" I nodded. "Next June, isn't that right, Brody, dear?" "June third," he said ominously. "Dude," Anton said, also turning toward us. "Gilmore Girls reference!" Mike and I exchanged glances. "Gay," we said at the same time. An "I'm not gay!" from Anton and a "He's not gay!" from Brody occurred simultaneously at this point. -The Inexplicable State of Being There, big.break.and.laryngitis We skated for a while, me holding one of Pete's paws and Cameron holding the other. The little teddy bear's legs swung as we moved. "People are giving us weird looks," I muttered to Cameron. "They're just jealous because they don't have an emo teddy bear and a hot date." "I always knew people would be jealous of me," I said airily. He chuckled, pulling me closer to him, with Pete between us. He kissed my lips quickly. "I meant they were jealous of me."-The Inexplicable State of Being There, big.break.and.laryngitis "It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious."—Oscar Wilde "Of course not. If you'll let go of my pants, I can give you your present." She got off me and I stuck my hands in my pockets, trying to find the little jewelry box. I handed it to her, and her smile softened. "What is it?" "It is a box. I thought you'd like it, because you like boxes. Open it, you weirdo." She rolled her eyes, still smiling, and lifted the velvety lid. Her eyes widened. "It's so pretty." -The Inexplicable State of Being There, big.break.and.laryngitis I rolled my eyes. "Saint, I don't need-" But before I could refuse, she had taken the little tube and shoved it into my pants pocket. "Why are you violating him over there?" Affie asked her, giving us a strange look. "I'm passing him some drugs." Saint replied. "Oh, if that's all..." Affie returned back to her newspaper. Leave it to Affie... -Fang's Journal, Fang, Saint, Affie FRIENDS Vs. BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up! FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!" 7 Ways to Scare your roommates 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterward, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." Things to do on an elevator to annoy others When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. Call a Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?", and let the doors close. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.Ask, "Did you feel that?" Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again." Swat at flies that don't exist. Tell people that you can see their aura. Call out "Group Hug!", then enforce it.G rimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off, ever. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". Draw a little circle around yourself on the floor and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!" Put police tape in front of the door before entering. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you. Hold an auction. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male. Throw a rave. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei." Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral". Hum the first seven notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again. When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?" Lean over to another rider and whisper "Noogie patrol coming!" Have a heated debate with yourself. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers. Drum on every available surface. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter. Stroke your chin and ask other passengers to tell you about their mothers. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it. Propose to the other passengers. Challenge people to duels. Sell girl scout cookies. Bring a large pile of ice. Build a small igloo on the floor. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..." Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a light. Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers. Shout "Food fight!" Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!" When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back. Do Riverdance. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!" Make sushi. Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex." Shave. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection. Practice kung fu. Make race car noises when people get on and off. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?" Fly a model airplane. Do yoga. Play the accordion. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure. "Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word. Ask someone "guess what?" When they respond with "what?," say "guess what?" again. Repeat until the person responds angrily, then say "I was only asking a question."Then start talking loudly to someone else in the elevator about "how some people really need to learn how to control their temper." [ Sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, muttering to yourself in a loop "And when it finishes going down it goes up and people get on but when they get on they always get off and the ones getting off are never the ones getting on and the doors open but they always close but when the doors close no one gets on and it goes down and when it finishes going down it goes up..." 563 ways to be annoying 1. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." There is a lot of stuff above. If you actually sat there and read it all, I must applaud you. And thank you. I hope you had a good laugh. I know I did!!! Danielle popped her head out and smiled sweetly. "Sorry, Vinnie, girls only." "Girls only?" The expression on his face was incredulous. "You're the only girl in the room!" "Well, Sammy understands his feminine side and Will, well, he already counts as half a girl." The door closed again. Vincent stood there, fuming silently. Jack clapped a hand on his back, "Don't worry. We can always make our own club. The He-Man Woman/Girly Boys Haters Club. How does that sound?" Will sighed happily as he wrapped his arms around Sammy. He nuzzled the side of her neck. "My girl . . ." Sammy tried to disentangle herself from the octopus grip. "Help," she squeaked. Danielle pried Will away from the redhead and backhanded him. "Don't touch. She's taken." Taking Will's seat, she threw an arm around Sammy's shoulders. "My sister-in-law," she crooned sweetly.- False Facades Saint Maturity is not acting like an adult all the time. Maturity is knowing how and when to act like an adult, but still being able to act like a Kindergartener when need be. Mum If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything. So stand up and do something, damnit! Affie (Saint's & yeah, my adopted Aunt.) I am male. Therefore, I am the lowest point in human society. I am also a teenager, which makes me a savage vagrant. But, because I've known Affie, I may still have a chance at being halfway useful to society. Maybe. This is all according to Affie. Saint's Sorry Excuse for a Father If I had to choose between modeling myself after Saint's dad or Richard Simmons, I'd be in brightly colored shorts doing an exercise video right now...Scary... Saint's Dog, Skye If you want respect, you have to earn it and sometimes, you have to demand it. This may involve growling at a cat to get out of your spot on the bed, but that's not the point. Spiffy and Pooky Just because you may come from different worlds (physically or mentally) doesn't mean you can't make one dynamic duo. Saint's Gram No matter how old you are, high school drama will follow. Only difference is you get interrupted by your dentures falling out. Saint's Friend, Amanda No matter how funny someone sounds, no matter how much you want to act 'badass', no matter if you think it's highly likely the person is joking, if someone threatens to hurt you in any way with electrical barbed wire, take them seriously. Saint's Friend, Brystol Friends offer to make you a sandwich. Best friends let you steal whatever food you want out of their fridge. Mr. Hardy You can't tell a good teacher by his degree, his lesson plans, or how many 'good' students come out of his class. You can tell a good teacher by the relationships he builds with his students. A teacher who looks at his students as nothing more than teenagers he must teach is not doing his job. A teacher must treat his students as people with real problems and a real desire to learn. Saint's Cat, Sasha Whenever you screw up, just act all dignified and people will think you did it on purpose. Jimmy Buffett No matter how busy life gets, you always have to leave at least a couple minutes aside to waste away again in Margaritaville. Saint's Nephew, Anthony When in doubt, use the force. Saint's Niece, Matilda Act cute, and no one will suspect you. Or if they do, they won't have the heart to rat you out. Justin Sometimes, all it takes is one little moment to change everything. Such as one little scene in Avian Flu, where Iggy was teasing me and saying he was having my child. Saint never meant for Justin to go farther. Instead, she got one of her most popular OCs. Never doubt the powers of Fanfiction. Iggy Just because it doesn't exist doesn't mean you can't still get child support for it! Skittles The Pillsbury Dough Boy is a powerful weapon... Vera Amber Never upset the minkles. Never. FlockUpdates Hell hath no fury like a fan scorned. Stick three of those fans together and you have a force to be reckoned with. Nathan P Following the crowd may make life easier and ban-free, but then you'd never get the joy of telling a noob to perform fellatio. Fanfiction The writer thinks he has all the power. If the writer truly thinks that, he has never read Fanfiction. The fan is the true power. They decide how well the book sells and how popular it will be. And, if a writer tries to displease them with a plot, with a character, with a pairing, the fan will find a way to twist it back to their wishes. Maybe a writer doesn't like the idea of their books being torn apart and remade on the internet by their crazy fans, but before they go on a tirade, they must think, did the Fanfiction writer write this to disrespect me, or out of respect for me? And does this fan have a point? And therein lies the Power of Fanfiction. -Stuff Fang learned from people, Fang's Journal, St. Fang of Boredom "The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences"- Edward Cullen-Eclipse "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV on the other hand..." -Edward Cullen-Twilight "Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving." "I've decided that as long as I was going to Hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." "And So the lion fell in love with the lamb." "I made the cowardly lion look like the terminator." -Bella-Twilight “I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures.” -Bella Swan-Twilight "Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang-MR-AE "I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge-MaximumRide-SOF "Rowr!" -Fang-MaximumRide-SOF "She offered to cook breakfast."-Fang-MR-SOF "Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" ~Max-MR-StWaOES Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible." Bully for me. "At least by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate or cute shoes" ~Max and Jeb-MR-Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports. You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers! ~Fang-MR-SOF "I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, huh?" Okay. In my experience, if you're really hit or seriously hurt, you don't say much. -Total and Max-MAX Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. -Max-MAX "What's your name?" "Isabella von Frankenstein Rothschild." -Angel answering Steve-MAX "I'm only a kid! I can't get married!" "You could in New Hampshire." -Max and Angel-MAX "South America. It'll be warm. They have llamas. You like llamas." -Max-MAX "Optimism is overrated, Max. Its better to face realitly head-on." -The Voice-SOF "I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-AE "I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy-STWAOES "Have you guys been playing in the toxic waste again? Been bitten by a radioactive spider? Struck by lightning? Drink a super-soldier serum?" -Fang-FW "Your middle name is 'Charging Off.'" -Total-MAX "I choose you, Max" Fang-MAX (This quote makes me laugh. Why? Because I keep picturing Fang throwing a Pokeball and having Max pop out of it. Pokemon ruined my brain as a child...) "Fang could turn men gay, but he wouldn't be gay with them. It's like a hit and run thing." -Ok, stole this from EdwardAddict. So sorry, but it was the funniest quote I've ever heard!! :-) "It's lucky it's dark...I haven't blushed so much since Madame Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs." "I believe misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat." "Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business." "I want to fix that in my memory forever, Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."-Ron-HP-GoF "Aaaah, when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born."-Ron-HP "Give her hell from us, Peeves."-Fred and George-HP-OotP "We could be killed, or worse, expelled." -Hermione Granger in first movie. Can't remember if it was in the book. "So, people, let's try to calm down a bit. Things are bad enough without inventing stuff as well. For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That's a Basilisk, listeners. One simple test: check whether the thing thats glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it's safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that's still likely to be the last thing you ever do." -Fred Weasly- Deathly Hallows "You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!" "You need people of intelligence for this sort of mission...quest...thing."-Pippin-LOTR-FotR "They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!"-Legolas-LOTR-TT(If you don't get why I put it here, type it into YouTube.) "Oh joyous happiness of contentment."-Me "Why do you call this dog Mohammed?" "Your mother was a Hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"-The French Taunter-Monty Python and the Holy Grail. "LET GO OF HER YOU FUCKING, BLOOD-SUCKING BASTARD!!" -Taurwen, from mine and Hidanlvr's random rp. "It's ok, Ryu here just thinks he's a dinosaur." "Rawr!"-Taurwen and Cody from the random rp. "OMG! YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME!!"-Ryu from the random rp. "Where's the fire...oh, crap."-Randy, when he messed up his line in Sleepy Hollow. "Yeah, Stupid, I bet you can't even spell your own name!" "Can too! Curly. K...E...R...Hey, Brom? What comes after 'R'?"-Ethan (Max) and Dwight (Curly) in Sleepy Hollow. "THIS IS THE MOST GOD-DAMNED, FUCKED-UP PLACE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!" -My dear-old, pissed-off one-eyed Mom. "Well, that's just great, Alex, you just killed the emo kid. I hope you're happy."-Dwight to Alex while practicing for the play in the hall. "I have an announcement to make. For once, I am actually not wearing pants! I'm wearing knickers."- Eli during Sleepy Hollow Tech Week. "If you guys don't cut that out, I'm gonna pull this car over! No, second thought, I won't even stop, I'll just turn around and whack both of ya!" -P.W. in the Lunchroom. "I'm an emo vampire. I cut my teeth." -Trevor in the auditorium. "Don't worry mom, I have gaydar. It's a form of evolution. God saw that, in this day and age with many more gay men around, that women would need some kind of way of telling the difference between gay and straight men. So he gave this generation gaydar." -Me, convincing my mom that one of my classmates was not gay. "If a tree falls down in the forest, and no one's around to hear it, how the heck did it fall down in the first place?!" -Me, a random thought. "Do you like my meadow? Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking!" "Dot. Dot. Dot." -Me, in every single conversation I have with my friend, Josh. "Beware, the Woman in Curtains!!" -What Josh says when he sees me. It's a long story involving me wearing the 'curtain dress' in Sleepy Hollow. Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. --Macbeth, Act V, scene v "Who wrote it? Why, my man, Jimmy P." -Me, using my new nickname for James Patterson, Jimmy P. “Bipolar? It means…” “A bisexual from Poland. Never speak to one, they’re trouble.” -Max and Iggy in Dizzy.Blonde.Girl's fanfiction Bisexual from Poland. "Stop being Zac Efron!" -What Dominic yells at the emos. Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? -No idea who said it, but I love it! It's a good point. Omg, this would make sense if Emmett Cullen became president! "Bob, I need page 1 and page 2 of your tax rebate." "Yeah, but which pages are those?" "Page 1 and page 2." "But what pages are those?" -When my Mom tried to ask my idiotic Dad for two pages of his tax rebate. Dad, is it really that hard? "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!" -What Affie (My aunt) yells when she's stuck in traffic. My favorite thing about high school is not paying for rent and free internet access." -My classmate, P.W. in last year's yearbook. 'How Would You Describe High School?' 'Zebracake-a-Rific!' -A Freshman named Zach in last year's yearbook. "Shia rocks and is hot! (With no shirt on.)" -A random note I found in my 2008 yearbook. I think it was Megan... "Have you ever seen 'Phantom of the Opera'?" "No." "Well, me neither, but you should see it, it's really good." -P.W. asing Andrew about a movie. "Hum, pocky, pocky, pocky, DEAD PIÑATA, DEAD PIÑATA!!" -SparxFlame, who is awesomely funny. "If you don't here from us in a week, we'll be at the Hotel Nacional in Mexico City, Room 703." -Victor Velasco in Barefoot in the Park "More cowbell!" -That SNL skit "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada and stuff." -Britney Spears "It's alright to be crazy, just don't let it drive you nuts!" -The Great Jimmy Buffett "DOOMED! They're all doomed. Notice I didn't say what kind of doom it was, so whatever happens to them, I will have predicted it. "That story is so funny, it's not funny! Wait, what did I just say?" -Me. Yes, I really just said this about a fanfiction and felt the need to type the quote here. "What he's doing is Rofling my waffles in a way waffles shouldn't be rofled." -Andrew, the true owner of Pooky. "You steal my mirror for vanity, so your attempt to steal it will be in vain! This mirror will bring you nothing but contempt and heartache. Jealousy will be your most sinister friend, should you gaze into my mirror. And you will never be able to eat eggplant again!" -Me in Jeb's Magic Mirror. "Nudge, it'll be ok, and Angel, she's not dying!" Still no freaking answer! Dr. M, pick up!! "Who's dying?" Gazzy asked, coming in. "Nudge." Angel answered. "Nudge is dying?!" "Nudge is NOT dying!" "Well, that's good to know, Fang." -Fang, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel from Facts of Life "Ok." Fang answered. "I've got a plan. Let's send Iggy to a monestary to become a monk. He'll take a vow of abstinence, and he'll never have to know!" I put my hands on my hips. "Fang, really." "Seriously!" Fang said. "And we can send Nudge to become a nun, and she can take a vow of silence! It's a great plan!" -Fang and Max from Facts of Life Me: O-tay! ¿Me permite meter un mono en tú pantalones? Fang: ¡No! ¡No monos en mi pantalones! Me: ¿Por que? Fang: ¡Los monos morden! -Me and Fang in St. Fang's Poetry Corner "And I'm his Doctor! Therapist! Boss! Slave-Master! Thing!" -Me in A Day in Therapy. "FINE!" Fang yelled, storming towards the woods. "FINE!" Iggy yelled, storming back into the house and closing the door. Fang was almost to the woods, when he stopped, realization crossing his face. "Wait, I just got kicked out of my own house!" -Fang and Iggy from Fanfiction Meets YouTube, based on a video by makemebad35. "Oh, so you finally admit it." Iggy said. "We could be heading towards sudden death." "Jeez, Iggy, you're so bright and chipper these days, Mr. Sunshine!" -Iggy and Max in Fly By Twilight: The Pack "Night Quills!" He started laughing again. "Hey, Max, you and me and the cops should go yelling and see if we can wake up the Flock before the neighbors show up. Bring Spiffy and Pooky!" -Fang from Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu (He's on NyQuil.) "I swear to drunk I'm not God!" -Originally heard it from my friend, Andrew. Good news: I'm not stuck in the woods with a rapist or serial killer. Bad news: I'm stuck in the woods with a lunatic. I was just trying to think of a way out of this, when he said, "You don't believe me, do you?" So honest little me nodded. At that, he pulled off his shirt. "Oh great." I thought. "I'm stuck in the woods with a lunatic nudist." -Risa from Double Date. "Look, officer. I have good reflexes, this car is in good repair, and it's a stupid law anyway!" -What my aunt's late sister actually said to a cop. Not recommended. Customer: Can you tell me where the produce section is? Fang: -shrugs- Customer: Can you tell me where the bathrooms are? Fang: -shrugs- Customer: Can you tell me anything? Fang: -shrugs- -Fang and a Wal-Mart customer in Job Listings Don't do drugs, kids! Give hugs! This message has been brought to you by The National Republic of Canadia, Rice Crispies, and the letter Ñ. -Me, trying to raise money for the budget for Maximum Star Wars: Episode IV I liked the one with the black wings, though. He was cute. I wanted to take him home and cuddle him. And feed him blackberries. I like blackberries. I would name him Fuzzles 'cause he looked like a Fuzzles. I decided to ask Gerald about it later. -Gozen from Gozen and the Feather Kids "Alright, class. I know you're all excited about that yearly social meltdown event called prom, but, unless you'd like to fail my class in the name of sparkly dresses and spiked punch, you all have a project to work on. So please, get with your partners and get to work. If you need me, I'll be at my desk, taking a coffee break, and no, Alanna, you can't have any." -The fictional Mr. Hardy in Fly By Twilight: The Coven (Though I can picture the real Mr. Hardy saying it.) "Hey, whatcha reading, Bud?" Matt asked me, sitting next to me on the couch. For some reason, Matt always tried to be, like, my best friend or something. He kept calling me 'Bud'. I kept picturing his head in a noose. "To Kill a Mockingbird." "Awesome, Bud. Hey, I killed a bird once hunting with my dad." "Good for you." I wondered if I should be insulted. He technically killed a relative. -Fang and Matt in Bubbles, Football, and Pygmy Marmosets. "Mybubblesmyprettybubblesmybubblesprettybubblesno!" -Tammy in Bubbles, Football, and Pygmy Marmosets. And yes, I can actually say that at that speed. Amazing, no? "Fang, who do you think is spying on us?" "Many kinds of people." Oh, how prophetic. "Like?" "Samurai." Houston, I think we've found the problem. -Fang and Max in Ninja Fang. “You have a captive audience, Max. People are listening to you. Your story’s out, you can’t hide anymore. What are you going to do with this situation, Max?” This questioning was starting to tic me off. “Well, let’s see. Get a cut in the profits, buy new shoes, order a life supply of chocolate chip cookies, and hire a private investigator to find out who you are so I can kick your questioning ass. Anything else you’d like to know?” -The Voice and Max in MangaFlock ‘Don’t know where you are? Well, neither do we! Good Luck!’ -The map from Dramacon "She's like a gray sqiurrel! I want to pounce on her!" "A gray squirrel?" -the two guys in the commercial for The Cougar. "Hey, look, there's a funeral going on." "Wow, I hope he voted early!" -My friend's Dad and I on voting day. "I don't think we should give a card with a clown on it. Wasn't Karl afraid of clowns?" "Heh, he can't be anymore! What are they gonna do, kill him?" -My friend and I at my friend Karl's funeral. Yes, I said that second line! Why didn't someone slap me?! I believe, if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Then try to find someone who's life's giving them vodka, and have a party." -Ron White. "Try new Flor-A-Flor. For itchy, watery eyes, it's Flor-A-Flor. Side effects may include: nausea, vomiting, water weight gain, lower back pain, receding hairline, eczema, seborrhea, psoriasis, itchy chafing clothing, liver spots, blood clots, ringworm, excessive body odor, uneven tire wear, pyorrhea, gonorrhea, diarrhea, halitosis, scoliosis, loss of bladder control, hammertoes, the shanks, low sperm count, warped floors, cluttered drawers, hunchback, heart attack, low resale value on your home, feline leukemia, athlete's foot, head lice, club foot, MS, MD, VD, fleas, anxiety, sleeplessness, drowsiness, poor gas mileage, tooth decay, split ends, parvo, warts, unibrow, lazy eye, fruit flies, chest pains, clogged drains, hemorrhoids, dry heaving, and sexual dysfunction." I'm like, "I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!" -Jeff Foxworthy on medication side-effects. "Boy, look at me. You see that little girl there? That's my only little girl. She's my life. So if you have any thought about hugging or kissing, you remember these words: I got no problem going back to prison." -Bill Engvall talking about his daughter The guy next to me is losing his mind. I guess he must have had something to "live for". He says, "Hey man, if one of the engines goes out, how far will the other one take us?" I look at him. "All the way to the scene of the crash! Which is pretty lucky, because that's where we're headed! I bet we beat the paramedics by a good half hour! We're haulin' ass!" -Ron White during a plane crash. "... I don't like when juice wears tights, its a horrible combination when juce wears tights ..." -Dane Cook Sean Connery: Knock, knock. Alex Trebek: Let's just go to Final Jeopardy, shall we? The category is; I can't believe this, the Final Jeopardy category is 'Famous Mothers'. "My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil." -Don't know who said it, but I love it! “I HATE YOU LIKE A FLYBOY BREAKING INTO CHURCH ON A SUNDAY MORNIN'!” -Fang in Bellagail's Fangy Loves Joo St Fang of Boredom! "Not to worry, we're still flying half a ship." Obi-Wan Kenobi - Star Wars Episode lll "Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!" "Apparantly not" Obi-Wan and Anakin - Star Wars Episode lll "I was begining to wonder if you even got my message" "We retransmitted it to Coruscant, just as you requested, Master. Then we decided to come rescue you" (looks up at chains) "Good job!" Obi-Wan and Anakin - Star Wars Episode ll "You call this a diplomatic solution?" "No. I call it agressive negotiations." Anakin and Padme - Star Wars Episode ll "So this is how liberty dies. By thunderous applause." Padme - Star Wars Episode lll "If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?" -Jeff Dunham "She should call you FEMA." "What does that mean?" "Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results." -Walter and Jeff Dunham "How long have you been married? "47 years." "Wow, that's amazing!" "Yeah, that old bitch'll never die." -Walter and Jeff Dunham "A swatch." "A swatch?" "Yeah, it was a watch some company in Switzerland made, so they called it a swatch." "Good thing they weren't in Croatia." -Jeff Dunham and Walter "Silence! I kill you!" -Achmed "God Damnit! Oh! Oh! I mean Allah Damnit." -Achmed "I need some ligaments!" -Achmed "Jefafa DunHAM Dot Com!" -Penut "The weirdest part is, he'd like to kill me, but he can't, because that would be a form of suicide." -Penut "Trust me, you would not do well in prison." Why not?" "Come here, puppet boy! Make your daddy talk." "So, you're saying I'd soon become someone's..." "Bitch." "On a stick." -Penut, Jeff Dunham, and Jose Jalepeno. "Where there's a will, there's family, but that's not the point." -Me. If you don't get it, think. 'Will' as in what you write when you leave your family stuff. Get it yet? Anne: I’m thankful that I’m not your real mother, and I have a license to kill. Flock: 0_o Anne: And I want to adopt all of you! - From xxgldxx's MR SPOOF. "But a quest to..." Grover swallowed. "I mean, couldn't the master bolt be in some place like Maine? Maine's very nice this time of year." -Grover - Percy Jackson, The Lightening Thief. "I thought it would be obvious enough. The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles." -Chiron -Percy Jackson, The Lightening Thief. "We're orphans." "Orphans? But, my dears! Surely not!" "We got seperated from our caravan, our circus caravan. The ringmaster told us to meet him at the gas station if we got lost, but he may have forgotten, or maybe he meant a different gas station. Anyway, we're lost. Is that food I smell?" -Percy and Medusa -Percy Jackson, The Lightening Thief. "I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck." "How lucky can they be? They're dead!" -Mulan's mom and grandmom -Mulan "I'm about to whack my virtual head against my firewall." -Me, in a comment to Fang on max-dan-wiz. "HOECAKE!" -Amanda, at any random moment. "Those judges are so judgemental!" "Uh, dad? They're judges." -My dad after watching American Idol. Oh, God, if stupiduty runs in the family, I'm glad I'm adopted... “Hell. On. Earth,” Iggy snapped. “A ninety-year old lady verbally assaulted me and the cart wouldn’t stop squeaking. I need to blow something up. Excuse me.” He stalked off. -Iggy in BlueWingedKitty's Co Ed Shopping. "Do you have an airport?" "Yeah, a little one..." "Ok, we'll fly down." "Anthony? ...Nevermind." -My 7-year-old nephew and I on the phone. He wants to fly down to my house. Unfortunately for him, we only live about 2 hours away... "Krill yum yum yum!" -Bell, a.k.a. Aleria14. Believe in the yumness of krill! "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." -Ronald Reagan "You're about as reliable as the hyper drive on the Millenium Falcon." -Just made that one up watching Star Wars: Episode V. Saving it here for later use. "Dear Diary, Do you have any idea what it's like to be a wanted criminal? (Don’t answer that question. I really don’t want this diary to end up like Ginny Weasley’s, since it tried to kill her.)" -Fang in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic. “You assaulted an un-armed teenager, you snuck out in the middle of the night, and you, you…I don’t know what else you did but I bet it has something to do with why the national debt is so high!” -An angry Max to Fang in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic. “I never noticed. You have a nice chest.” Well, then. Hot damn, that’s a way to change the mood. “I could say the same about you, but that’d be sexual harassment.” Max and Fang in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic. "I was sitting in my room, contemplating on whether or not to read New Moon, the second part of the ‘Twilight saga’. (How is it a saga? Lord of the Rings – now that’s a saga, with intense battle scenes, powerful characters and an epic plot. But a girl falling in love with a vampire… that’s a series, not a saga. Learn the difference, young grasshopper.)" -A very true quote by Fang in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic. “But you can’t buy happiness,” I said. “That’s not necessarily true,” Iggy interrupted. “I once met a very nice stripper named Happiness.” -Fang and Iggy in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic. Then, he said loudly, “How about you give me a blow?” But Max didn’t miss a beat. “Sorry,” she said. “I choke on small objects.” -The 'Creepy Pedophile Guy' and Max in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic. Wham! “GO TO HELL.” Bam! “NEVER TOUCH HER AGAIN.” Slam! “YOU’RE CREEPIER THAN EDWARD.” -Fang beating up a pedophile in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic. "You know, when you grow up, you're going to have to get a job and pay for your own stuff." "No, I'll just steal people's wallets." -My sister and my 4-year-old future pickpocket nephew. :D "I hath telekinesis!" -Voldemort/Volzemort/Satan from the epic fail fic My Immortal. Iggy grinned. "No response, huh? Alright, well, if you have nothing to say...Why don't you get out of here and leave us alone before I blow your balls off with an M-80, 'kay?" -Iggy in my story, Who Needs Dylan and Max? "When you use the toilet, you put the seat up. When you're done, you put it down. Women in tribe start wars over this. Many deaths." -"Baboon" - Jungle 2 Jungle "HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF KAMIA!" -Hidanlvr screaming at the random guy who jumped out in front of her to yell at her to go see Final Destination after she and her friends were discussing what 'kamia' was. Her friends found it hysterical. "If I ever catch you cheating on me I'm going to do two things." "What's that?" "One, I'm gonna punch the other chick in the face, then ruin your chances of having children." -Hidanlvr said cheerily to her boyfriend. :D Boyfriend's reply: "That's ok. That's why I love you. And if you ever cheat on me, I'll probably just cut one of your boobs off in your sleep." Hey ppl, did ya notice that if you put the first letter of the flocks name in a certain order (Iggy, Max, Fang, Angel, Nudge, and Gazzy) you get the word... I-M F-A-N-G. How awesometastical is that? -Found that on someone's profile. Awesome. "One sperm with a sense of direction and I'm paying for it for the rest of my life." -Dorothy-The Golden Girls "Yes, yes, and if he were your math homework he'd be hard and you'd be doing him on a desk. We get it, Saint." -Skittles' Iggy on Twitter. "The Butt End of the school. I always thought that was a good place for Math." -Risa from my NaNoWriMo Novel, Wolf Eyes. "Ms. Coates, exactly who do you think you are?" "Martha Washington." I shot back. "But that's only when I'm off my medication." "What?!" "Oh, I know, it's unbelievable! But don't worry, I know I'm really Hilary Clinton." -Risa owning Ms. Roslin in my NaNoWriMo Novel, Wolf Eyes. "What would you do if you were magically turned into a pink mini-dragon that breathes sparkles, not fire, by the guy from the Lucky Charms commercial?"Me: I would dance around in circles singing songs by Ke$ha. Of course, that would happen on the same day that Saint's dad stops being a dick, Crossover decides to stop liking the Beatles in favor of the Jonas Brothers, the US Virgin Islands rise up and take over the world, Guam capsizes, Stevo lets go of his dick, Spiffy and Pooky get caught having gay sex by Fromo and Lear, who were having straight sex with the Maxes, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, and Rodney Dangerfield come back to life to create the greatest musical group of all time, Mario and Luigi lead an army of video game characters against the US Virgin Islands for control of the world, it starts raining wontons, Saint takes that as a sign and declares herself Pope, Fang takes that as a sign and declares himself Head-Boss-Jew-Oy!, the Jews of the world revolt on the grounds that there has never been a Head-Boss-Jew-Oy! and they don't want one, Captain Jack actually finds that rum, Iggy... does something, James Patterson finally writes a book that completely makes sense, MG says "eh" like a true Canadian, not just as a mistake, eh, ET tries to phone home, but he misdials and accidentally calls a sex line, Jesus returns, takes a look around, and runs back screaming to heaven, Bell actually doesn't get mentioned in a chapter of MM&aDK, and Max realizes this is the apocalypse she was supposed to stop, and in her last-ditch attempt to stop it, she gets crushed by a rampaging army of massive murderous Mexican mutant minkles." -Matthias answering a question from Vera in Me, Max, and a Dog Kennel. "The one...Holy crap, Stevo's grabbing his dick!" -Matt on Skype. "Half the heifers were over here, half the heifers were over there, and half were still in the fence!" "David! How many halves are in a whole?" "...Two." "So, how were half your heifers in one place, half in another place, and half in a third place?" "...I had one and a half groups of heifers!" -In which Amanda tries to teach David simple math on the farm. "I hate you with the fiery passion of an angered mango!" -Vera, often. "You're mom was right and I was wrong." "Say that again, Dad. I have my phone recording now." -My dad and I at Pizza Hut. He was talking about my Mom and made this remark, so I put my phone on 'record' and had him say it again, for the record. Yes, I kept the recording. I've thought of putting it as his ringtone. "Stop it or I'll bury you alive in a box!" -A MadTV skit. "Meercat Hanky Panky!" -Mine and Amanda's way of saying 'Goodnight'. Don't ask. "You can be saved and baptized all you want, you can say that you're close to God, you can read the bible 1000 times, but if you're looking down on people because they don't think like you, you better read that bible one more time." -Skittles' Mom "Canadians must have invented Pig Latin." "Why do you say that?" "Everything in that language ends in 'eh'!" -Jessica to me one day. I laughed so hard... "Using your aura as a defense actually takes less energy... Though it will take concentration." "Hey, is that a butterfly?!" "This may take some time..." -Lane and Otto in my second NaNoWriMo fic, Double-Edged Sword. "A firm native." "I believe you mean 'affirmative', mate." "Is that negatively what I dictated?" -Ichor and Lane from Double-Edged Sword. I love how Ichor talks... "It wouldn't be my move. First the candy and flowers, then the apology letters, then the ravenous demon hordes. In that order." -Jace, City of Bones. "You know how you can turn men gay, but won't be gay with them? The 'hit and run' thing? Alec could turn lesbians straight, not to mention send hordes of already-straight fangirls chasing after him, and yet, still gay. Damn it. You fictional men and your frustrating sexual habits." -Me to Fang while reading City of Bones. - I stole all of those from St. Fang of Boredom, who is hilarious and one of the best writers ever. "How do you know? Andrew's fingers flashed. I couldn't really tell him the answer, because I still felt like a silly, smitten teenager. Technically, I was an adult, but what does a number mean? I still loved cartoons and sugary cereals, so I didn't feel grown up. He paused, his dark eyebrows knitted together. I waited for him to continue signing, pulling my hands inside the sleeves of my red sweater that I always saved for Christmas Eve. It was a habit, making my sleeves into essential sock puppets, and it always annoyed Andrew--it's really the equivalent a person you're conversing with putting tape across his or her mouth. Andrew's next question made me glare at him: Do you really trust him? I nodded firmly without hesitating. Cornell's not that close to NYU. You never know what could happen with some New York City girl while you're all the way up in Ithaca. There was something strange about his signing; hands are unique just like voices. Donovan and I hadn't meant to both go to college in New York. I mean, I was beyond ecstatic when I heard that not only had he applied to schools, he'd been accepted to good ones. He'd said that there was a mistake, but I read his essays and saw his SAT scores. It was definitely no mistake. When he decided on NYU, I couldn't say I was disappointed. Maybe that's how I know, then. I trust him. And…I faltered in the midst of signing a letter—was that a car I heard? Looking at the clock again, I saw that there were still fifty-seven minutes until Donovan's plane got in. I was fooling myself again. I talk to Donovan more than I do my roommate, and he's the first one I think of when something funny happens and I want to tell him. I just… know. Andrew was just about to reply, and I knew that it would be something very cynical. Then he looked towards the door, frowning, so I followed his gaze. There was a shadow in the window by the front door. My heart was in my throat. I knew who it was. He didn't bother knocking, just opening the door. I was glad I managed to not squeal girlishly at the sight of my favorite person in the world standing right there…an hour early. I ran towards him, throwing my arms around his neck and thinking of how to say…it. He leaned down slightly, his hair tickling my neck, and whispered, "I love you, Piper." If I hadn't been speechless, I would've told him how much I hate getting beaten to the punch. As if he didn't know."-Piper and Andrew, Just For Glory, Imaginary Parachute Nobody said it was easy, To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. I want to be like those girls in the movies He's the one I call in the middle of the night, he makes everything alright, he holds me when i cry, The way I feel is not always how I seem... I want a brave love, one that makes me weak in the knees. I want a crazy, crazy love. All the guys can't be good ones, Tough people are not born. They're made when no one Love just gets in the way, The people worth loving He's fascinating in a car crash sorta way... I'm bitter but young. If you wanted to mess me up you really should have gotten to me sooner. Finding someone isn't about trying to transform yourself into the perfect image of '"I know that I'm not who anyone expected to see up here; I'm not a jock, I'm not on the student council, I'm not on the marching band—detention was pretty much the only school activity that I ever participated in. Every day after school, I was there, come rain or shine. The only reason they even allowed me up here was because they couldn't deny my GPA, so I guess this is my last stand against Principal Barkley—it's been real man and I bet it sucks to see me up here. Dude, calm down—I'll be gone soon. We all will. "When I was told that I was going to be delivering your speech, I got a long list of words that I wasn't allowed to use. So, I can't say; freaking, stupid, shut up, or sucks...hmm...already used that one. I also am not to say for shizzle, which I don't even get. Why on earth would I have ever said that, Mrs. Johnson? "Because that's the thing, not matter what good I've done in high school, while I'm here I'm always going to be considered the kid that spent all his time in detention because he had a bit of an attitude problem. And a problem with authority figures... But here's the thing; when we leave this building today, we're giving up on all those stereotypes. We're moving on to something new, a new life and pretty much a new existence. And yeah, the world may hit us so hard we fall on our asses. Yes, Mrs. Johnson, I know I'm not supposed to say ass, but come on; you have whoopee on this list. Why on earth would I have ever said the word whoopee? Who uses that word in the middle of a speech? Where was I? Oh yeah: the world may send us reeling, but that doesn't mean that we should ever roll over and die. Because that would be stupid. "I know that I'm supposed to just stand up here and tell you how life is going to be hard, but that we can seize the day. That we are the class that can change the world and a whole bunch of crap like that. Being the motivational guy was never my forte, I'm sure some of us are going to do big things with our lives, but a lot of us aren't. That's just the truth. We won't become world renown surgeons or anything like that, but that doesn't mean that we should be embarrassed to come back for our twentieth high school reunion. Because we are all going out into the world to do something and whether or not we make a lot of money doing it, if we're happy...we're happy. "Look, instead of looking into our future—which is kind of scary prospect—look back on what this high school has done for you. The lessons you've learned, the people you've known, the problems you've already faced, and the person you've become or are becoming. Everything about you is molded in your history, your past experiences. "Two years ago, when I first came to this school, I was prepared to learn nothing. I just wanted to get my years over and done with, but...in spite of myself, I've learned a lot here. I've learned how far you can push someone before they give, I've learned that standing up for people is a lot better than being the one to bully them, and I've learned that...your actions have consequences. Always... "This place has shaped you for your next step in life, and whether you're going to college or not, you're going to be ready for what life brings you. You may not think you are, there may be times that you falter, hell—you may even give up sometimes, but at the end of the day...you're going to make it through. "Well, that's enough of me as a motivational speaker—as I've said, I don't do that. Now, I could end this by reminiscing on some past memory associated with this high school, but I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear about the many hundreds of ways I earned myself detention. I could also end this speech saying some overused clichéd statement like carpe diem, but I won't. I'll just tell you this; if high school was the best years or your life, you're looking towards a really pathetic future. If high school pretty much sucked for you; congratulations—you're getting the hell out of high school and it can only getting better from here. Because seriously, one day you'll have one of the jackasses that made your life a living nightmare needing your help or approval for something in life. And you know what? Payback is a bitch."'-Thatcher Wood, Quandaries of a Quirky Romantic, Secretive "Right. Well, I'm going to go… over there," I babbled, "and you guys can just talk and resolve your differences 'cause you're lifelong best friends and nothing and no one should come in the way of that and I'm going to get a Pop-Tart before they're all taken away by the technological megalomaniacal bastards, so um, see you in English, Mads."- Sam, Want, Take, Have, SouledChampion Percy: If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right. Simon: She's always right? Percy: That's right. Simon: Always? Percy: Right. Simon: Right. Percy: That's right. Simon: All right, okay, what about all that talk about my dignity? Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right. -Guess Who, Percy and Simon Jaime: You don't know the first thing about being someone's friend. Landon: I don't want to just be your friend. Jaime: You don't know what you want. Landon: Neither do you. Maybe you're just too scared that someone might actually want to be with you. Jaime: And why would that scare me? Landon: Because then you wouldn't be able to hide behind your books, or your frickin' telescope, or your faith. No, no you know the real reason why you're scared? It's cause you wanna be with me too. Noah: Would you just stay with me? Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin' Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, ninety percent of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a two second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain in the ass thing. Allie: So what? Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? Thirty years from now, forty years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out. Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt. Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want? What do you want Allie: It's not that simple. Noah: What...do...you...want? Goddammit. Whaddaya want? | |||||||
1. Poor Innocent Fool reviewsScott never meant for this to happen, really. He just wanted to help her, but instead he ended up getting hurt. She never was the one, no matter how much he said she was. Don't know what I'm going to do with this one, but I'll finish it.Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,211 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-10-102. Monkey's Reignin the titleFiction: Fable - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 302 - Published: 2-24-10
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