Name: Brendan Rizzo

Age: 20

Sex: Male

Country: US

...I think that's enough to be satisfactory. Now then, I'm a college student with too much time on his hands, which is probably why I have an account here in the first place. You can also contact me on FanFiction dot Net, Facebook, and YouTube (but that last one is under the name MrBrendanRizzo, as someone else took the name before I got an account. I hope that clears everything up.) If you want to know stuff like my political views, then I guess you could say that I would consider myself a liberal. I most certainly do not like the actions of the Religious Right, and am in favor of things like separation of church and state and keeping creationism/Intelligent Design out of science classes, because it is greatly unscientific. Real science does not use such cheap ploys to get accepted, and creationists lie when they say that the scientific view on evolution contradicts Christianity. It doesn't. Besides, there is more evidence out there for evolution than there is for gravity. I'm a biology major, so I know this stuff. As for my own religious beliefs? I can't tell you, because I'm not sure myself.

If I favorite you, you're probably good. If I give criticism, then you need to work on your writing some more. Please do not take criticism as an insult. Thank you.

Uploaded Stories (Asterisks represent completed stories):

"A Fortunate Mistake" * - The first part of a parody of fan fiction clichés, including but not limited to the concept of the Mary Sue. The protagonists are all based on me or people I know, but the main goal here is to deconstruct bad fanfic. Also includes a subplot about not revealing personal information on the Internet.

"Of Quarks and Leptons" - Inspired by those old 1950s-and-earlier "shrinking man" stories; a researcher accidentally gets shrunk to subatomic size in a laboratory freak accident. While there, he learns that quarks and leptons are sentient, and that he must save them from destruction. But at this scale, he experiences the effects of quantum mechanics... The current version sucks; it is slowly but surely being rewritten, but please do not leave any comments on the original version.

"Hyper Fighting Machine Marmalade!" This is a parody of all those fics in the Manga section which are either Magical Girl stories or high school romances. Geez, there's hardly any variety in that section! So, this is a parody which I am writing for NaNoWriMo, though it is neither a Magical Girl nor a romance story, the tropes used are mercilessly mocked. I would not be writing this if my friends did not like the idea, so they are at least partially responsible for its existence.

"Reading" * - Finally, something that I have actually finished. A mostly philosophical tale about the ramifications of being able to read minds. Featuring a snarky little girl, among other things. I know how much people like that character archetype.

"Knight of Checkers" - Despite the name, this story has nothing to do with checkers. Instead, it's mostly about the adventures of a chess club. Hopefully, it will be more interesting than that.

"Linda! Laundry!" * - This was concocted in five minutes, deliberately intended as the shortest thing I could possibly write which has that title. Don't read too much into it... or on the other hand, read as much into it as you want, as if I were trying to produce "high art". You would need to be familiar with a certain Internet personality in order to fully appreciate this one.

"Bakuhatsu Yangire Shoujo" * - Two-shot. The title is deliberately ungrammatical Japanese as a parody of how many Japanese works have completely ungrammatical English titles. A rough translation though would be "explosion psychotic girl". That is basically what describes this. In this story, the protagonist revels in all the wanton destruction she causes. Technically a parody, but not quite how you'd expect. A sequel is in the works.

"The Indian Rope Trick" * - This was written in response to the controversy over what occurred in India, when Sanal Edamaruku showed that the alleged miracle in a church was a purely natural occurrence. However, the story can just as easily be interpreted as being against the fundamentalists of the American South. I am not satisfied with the ending, because I could not think of any real way to write it.

"Funny Business" - This is the story I have been working on for a long time, and I'm glad to finally have it finished. Truth be told, it was originally conceived as a thought experiment, and was only supposed to be a short story, but became the length of a full novel. Now that I've finished writing it, (though am not uploading every chapter at once) I can relax for a bit. UPDATE: Now with a TV Tropes page!