Author has written 19 stories for Fantasy, Humor, Song, Essay, Action, Sci-Fi, Love, Life, Humor, General, and Supernatural.

Hello, hello, hello! dreamer-13 here!

So... I'm here from FanFiction - it is I! xNightbornx! Here to post that story that was mentioned on FanFiction!

I want you all to know that sometimes the stuff I write will weird you out and confuse you. I will attempt to sensor brain-images you don't want. Like that dream that I was driving a school bus... never mind, you don't want the images.

I write all the time. I just don't get on the computer. Cuz I'm so old-school. And sometimes I use 90's terminology. Like trippin. And fly.

I love manga. Someday I will finally post my art on deviantart -(old) kiinkoon (current) SomeCallMeWeird. Until then... I will continue to draw and everyone can pretend that you can see them, ok? Great!

My stories mostly originate from dreams. Sometimes a combination of dreams. Sometimes I just get board and let my mind wander and it comes back with freaky objects and smells bad, like when you let your dog wander.

You will see many of my stories set in small, dirthole towns. This is because I live in one. 3 more years... 3 more years...

Well, that's me. I'll be right here... unless I'm not...

I just want to tell everyone that I am glad you are here! WE SHOULD GET THE WHOLE FLIPPIN WORLD ON THIS SITE! Or... maybe not...

Quick Bio:

Fun Sized. Blonde. Green eyes. Eats when is bored. Likes cats and dogs. Loves Harry Potter. Commands you all to visit my buddy's hpff > http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewstory.php?psid=290258

Doesn't like Twilight. Loves the Mortal Istruments. Loves Strange Angels. Loves the Hunger Games. Loves Gone. Loves any book by Frank Portman or Chris Moore. Is a NerdFighter. Likes charlieissocoollike and nigahiga and Fred. Is 16. Occasionaly acts weird but honestly doen't give a flip and that po's my parents.

IS NOT A FAIRY OR AN ELF AND I RESENT THAT. glares at Winter

IS NOT A COMMUNIST. glares at Sunny

has nothing bad to say about Taylor

I wish you all peace out and stuff. Live long and prosper.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

1. You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)
2. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
3. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
4. After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
5. You talk to characters from books you really liked.
6. You can't sleep at night because of said conversations.
7. You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
8. You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
9. Your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
10. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
11. You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
12. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
13. You own a million pens that never get used because your computer/laptop is much better, in fact, you even forgot how to write with a pen!(Nope)
14. You spend so many hours writing that you can now type without looking at the keyboard.(No)
15. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)
16. Your wrist(s) hurt because of too much typing.
17. When writing on a slow computer, the words you type take a couple of minutes before appearing because you type too fast for the computer.
18. You have the wonderful talent of being able to talk a lot and think a lot. No one understands how this is possible.
19. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
20. People think you have A.D.D.
21. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
22. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
23. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
24. Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

(")_(")
(O.O)
c(M)_(M)

This is Bunny. I got him from someone else. Copy and paste Bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination SUPPORT THE BUNNY! Come to the Dark Side, We have cookies and milk!

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason! I have already called dibs on Asia so IT IS MINE!

92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good.

1)Choked on your own spit while you were talking: Yes!
2)Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself: Maybe... I sure hope not...
3)Tried to push open a door that said pull: Yes!
4)Tried to pull open a door that said push: Yes!
5)Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not: No - I am blonde!
6)Have gotten gum stuck in your hair: No!
7)Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble: Yes!!
8)Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else: Yes...
9)Broken a chair by leaning back in it: Well, not broken, but I fell over...
10)Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard: Yes!
11)Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name: Sometimes I get mixed up...
12)Have run into a closed door: Yes!
13)It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke: Sometimes.
14)Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk: Yes!
15)Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else: No, thank God...
16)Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in: Yes!
17)Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house: Yes...
18)Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.: ABSOLUTELY!
19)Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it: ...yes...
20)Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up: Yes!
21)Have poked yourself in the eye: Yes!
22)Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie: 8 million times...
23)Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person: Once or twice...
24)Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught: Yes...
25)Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair: Yes!
26)Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone: Yes!!
27)You have spelled your own name wrong before: Yes!
28)you eavesdropped on a person and then started talking about it in front of them: No!
29)you asked the same person the same question within 5 minutes: Yes!
30)you started laughing randomly for no reason: YES!

16 Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

16. When you are at the cash paying, ask: "Can I have fries with that?"

Annoying things to do on an elevator: read this! XD Very funny!!

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your carcass off.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, Queen S of Randomness 016, Light Dragon SunsSong, Neassa, Kimiko, Ocean's Nocturne of the COCA, luvablenerd, soraroxas365, Dying-Lunar-Mystery, Alice Rocker, dreamer-13

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Ocean's Nocturne of the COCA, luvablenerd, soraroxas365, Dying-Lunar-Mystery, Alice Rocker, dreamer-13

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

85 percent of the people who read Harry Potter think Luna Lovegood is crazy. If you are a part of the 15 percent that thinks she rules, copy this into your profile.

15 percent of every high school population is considered "Popular". 20 percent is desperate to become a part of the popular 15 percent. 20 percent couldn't care less. 15 percent realize that popularity doesn't matter. 10 are too busy worrying about their grades to care. 5 percent are goths, 5 percent can speak another language fluently, and 5 percent are too stupid to realize that no one likes them. If you are a part of the 5 percent who think the 'unpopular' 85 percent should rebel against the popular 15 percent, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Ocean's Nocturne of the COCA, luvablenerd, soraroxas365, Dying-Lunar-Mystery, Alice Rocker, dreamer-13

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friends are insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

copy and paste this if you like the most annoying songs in the world(hampster dance, Numa Numa song, crazy frog)personally i love these songs but i dodn't know what categorey music they would be.

Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, put this in your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your bio.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you like to put these types of things in your profile, copy and paste to your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have WAY too much time on your hands and you're on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.

Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message and my symbol for equality to your profile.

If you wanna travel when you get older, copy this into your profile!

No one's perfect. If you know and like that you're not perfect. Copy this to your profile.

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you think Fanfiction.net is way better than Myspace could ever hope to be in eternity, copy and paste and add your name to the list: otherrelmwriter, ChibiSkitty-donna, AquaFlameElementalist, Luvablenerd, soraroxas365, Dying-Lunar-Mystery, Alice Rocker, dreamer-13

If you think being normal or the same as everyone else is BORING! Copy and paste this to your Profile and add your name to the list to show that being normal is NOT cool. Dying-Lunar-Mystery, Alice Rocker, dreamer-13

Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o (and you forgot to put a spoon in your lunch box) that you try drinking your Jell-o through a straw and using straw chopsticks because straws were the only untensil-type thing available.

Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music.

Crazy is when u laugh uncontrolable at your own jokes.

Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser.

Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself.

Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.

Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny.

Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!".

Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence.

Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it.

Crazy is when you memorized every single line of the Kingdom Hearts series.

Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist.

Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random momments.

Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day.

Crazy is when you're crazy.

Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym.

Crazy is when you convince your friends you're 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown.

Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them.

Crazy is when it is last day of school you scream and run around in circles.

Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the move.

Crazy is when you can call yourself something else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world,

Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane.

If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

SERIOUSLY! COPY AND PASTE THIS!! PASTE IT I SAY!!

(I bet you never knew, or wanted to know, that i was this crazee.)

(You HAVE to know your crazee when you spell crazee wrong. LOL. =)> )

Fancy a challenge? Try this: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile.

If everytime you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, put this on your profile!

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you believe in doing what you love, no matter what other people might think, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile..

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you have a lot of fanfic ideas in your head but are unable to bring yourself to write them, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to SLUG them, put this in your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile.

If you can't stop putting these things on your profile, copy and paste this to your profile!

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you already have a gajillionof these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile

If you have ever made up your own language just for fun, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile

If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a million and one notebooks, and still need more for your imagination or creativity, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have no idea what people are talking about yet you pretend that you do, copy and paste this on your profile.

CoPy AnD pAsTe ThIs To YoU aRe PrOfIlE iF yOuR aWeSoMe!i!

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. (Dang it, I lost my Windex. What now?)
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
The word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’ (Am I saying all tics are politicians? I don't know. Am I?)
My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. (And he stole it off of my leftover taco, that jerk.)
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought (Thank you, for that mental image...-shivers-)
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. (Don't really embrace ME thouigh, I might burn you.)
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! (The secret ingredient that makes them taste so good is the mind control serem)
I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator! (Oh my God!! The air!! IT'S EVERYWHERE!!)
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. (Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. HA!)
I ran with scissors, and lived! (Whoops, there goes my luck for the rest of the year. Remind me to stay away from sharp objects and therapists)
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder (Yeah, you thought I was gonna jump after you. Nah. I'll send you a get well gift though. IT'S A FLOWER POT! -throws it- What? It landed on your head? Oh. -laughs harder still-
I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. (Heh. I don't get it. -tomorrow- -bursts out laughing-)
Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey! (Was it Gwen who taught me how to spell bananas?)
I agree with the dictionary - girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. (Who knew reading the dictionary could actually accomplish something??)
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. (Deja vu man. I think I forgot that I forgot that last week)
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. (Gee, I wonder which one I am? Probably number 4. I'm so awesome, I need my own catagory =)
I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3? (And we just ignore the last 10)
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. (Send pizza. Stop. And something full of sugar with total empty calories. Stop.)
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone. (Thus why so many people today have wrinkles. They don't realize they could slap somebody and get on with it.)
"When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice into life's eyes and see if it still likes lemons after that. (If it still does, say, 'Screw it' and go have some pizza. Pizza makes things better.)
"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with." (Especially if it's cough medicine. Nobody gives a crap, whether you have to drink the top half or the bottom half, either way, it's still gonna taste like cough medicine)
"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?"
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together." (It's also good for taping people's mouths shut while they're sleeping, just to see what they do.)
"Education is important, school however, is another matter." (It's legal. How freaky is that?)
"Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick." (And I shall call it Sticky and it shall be my Sticky! Come here Sticky, who's a good Sticky? Yes you are!!)
"Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't." (Thus why the news should be canceled to make room for more pointless, HAPPY crap we can watch)
"I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either." (I might be able to write you in for 800 year from now. What's that? You'd be dead? NOOOOOW you're getting it!)
"1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you." (I think we just broke that scale. All of us are insane. WHAT DO WE DO NOW?? LIVE IT UP, OF COURSE!!)
"Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls." (But, hey, if you're gonna, I'll walk off a cliff, just for you! Although, there will be a mattress waiting when I fall. It will not be there when you fall. Better start sucking up!)
"Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."
"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'" "Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."
"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."
"Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door."
"I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it." (Well, what else am I supposed to do? Get up and do a dance number?)
"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it." (It's no fun if you spend all your time worrying about it. Suck it up and live it up.)
"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on." (Just smile and nod, smile and nod and then maybe they'll think you know what the heck they're talking about!)

True story: I recently read a story about some dead chick who'd kill me for no reason if I didn't e-mail/text/put her story in my prof. If you feel like fighting the power, copy and paste this in your profile and never worry about homicidal ghost girls again.

Remember When...
Getting HIGH meant swinging on the playground?
The worst thing you could get from boys was COOTIES?
Mom was your hero
And Dad was the boy you were going to marry?
When your worst enemies were your siblings?
And race issues were about who ran faster?
When WAR was a card game?
And life was simple and carefree?
Remember when all you wanted to do was GROW UP?
Put this on your profile if you're still five on the inside

What am I? PREP You own a cell phone. You own something from abercrombie You own something from pacsun you own something from Hollister You own something from American Eagle/Arie/AE Kids You love/like going to the mall. You own an iPod/MP3 player. You love Starbucks. You have been called a brat. You hate buying things that are on sale You have more than one house Total : 3 GOTHIC Black is one of your favorite colors. You have thought about death. You wear chains. You like heavy metal. You've shopped at Hot Topic. You have worn black lipstick. Your hair was/is dark. You dislike preps. You're an atheist/satanist/agnostic. Total : 3 PUNK You can skateboard. You've worn plaid. You like Converse. You hate MTV. You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. You dislike pink. You hate/dislike preps. You wear/wore skateboarding shoes Total : 5 GEEK You love the computer. You like Harry Potter You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts You get straight A's. You love/like reading. You were/are in band You don't care what you look like. You have a curfew. You always do your homework. You never miss school unless you're sick. Total : 10 EMO You cut yourself over depression You have been depressed. You have black rimmed glasses. You like the band Evanescence You cry easily. You like emo music. You hate being called emo. You keep/have kept a journal/diary. You have written a sad poem You think emo chicks/Guys are hot Total : 5 GHETTO/GANGSTA You like rap. You are/was in a gang. You wear/wore rubberbands in your pants. You swear once in a while or a lot You have freestyled. (very badly for a dollar) You have worn high tops with the tongue flipped out. You can break dance Total : 3 HARDCORE/SCENE You like loud music You love/loved the Ninja Turtles (that's my five-year-old syndrome) You never walk anywhere. You wear slip-on shoes. You wear/wore Vans. You like the band panic! at the disco You wear band t-shirts. People have called you a freak and meant it. You love to "hardcore" dance Your hair has been died more than 1 color Total: 4 ATHLETIC You watch/watched the Superbowl. You own track shoes or other sports related shoes. You collect your jerseys. you have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards You have posters or plaques of famous athletes. your garage consists of sports equipment You belong/belonged to a school team. You are going/did go to a sports summer camp You have a specific number Total : 2