OMG That took FOREVER to copy from my fanfiction page (Spazthe1st) I went down then acidentaly unclicked and had to do it all over again :(

'If you haven't died yet copy this onto your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. Wait... what?

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. Guilty

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile. Well...

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list:

iluvedward4ever, Ostentatious.spontanious.ME

If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile. - Ohh yea!

If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile. - Team Edward: Cause Jacob doesn't sparkle :-)

If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile. -I luuuuv Alice

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. (SpazzyAlex!!! & Some one else but she changed her pen name)

If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever been obsessed with something so much people are now fearing what effect it may cause on you, copy and paste this to your profileIf you think I have too many "copy and pastes" in my profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think I have at least one more "copy and paste" thingy in my profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you were right, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you were wrong, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like chocloate as much as I do copy this in your profile

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on your nerves" song copy this into your profile! -well, it does get on peoples nerves...

If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile. - cough miss ter cough-

If you love cats, then you must hate dogs. If you love dogs, then you must hate cats. If you wonder why people think this, copy and pasted this into your profile. -I'm a dog person, but i like cats too, i think...

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile. Well, it wasn't compeltely my- no, it was completely my fault. :0

Who else besides me thinks Potter Puppet Pals is the best internet site ever? snape, snape, severus snape, DUMBLEDORE! Snape, RON! snape, RON! serverus snape-Ron weasly! DUMBLEDORE! :-))))))

98 percent of teenagers has drank alcohol or done drugs. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile. clean as a kleenex

If you have an annoying trio of girls and/or have an annoying trio of guys who act just like them at your school who think they rule the Earth, copy this into your profile. uhgghhh yes.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile. OMG THOSE GREEDY SUGAR-LOVING CHILDREN!

If you've ever forgotten your own name while introducing yourself copy and paste this into your profile. Um...

If you've ever walked into a glass door copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still don't know anything at all copy this onto your profile

If you have a true friend copy this onto your profile

If when you hear thunder you think it's vampires playing baseball copy this onto your profile

If you constantly need a new bookshelf in your room copy this onto your profile

If you have an insane friend copy this onto your profile Just one?

If you've ever argued with yourself and lost copy this onto your profile

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless copy this onto your profile

If your the kind of person that walks into a door or wall then apologizes to it copy this onto your profile

"I did not hit you... I simply high-fived your face."

"Latte is italian for 'you just payed too much for that coffee'"

"Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

''Thats just about as useful as a solar powered flashlight''

"I had a friend once but the rope broke and he got away"

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I was aiming for your face."

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence

Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you." Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby?

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Can I buy you a drink? Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money.

Man: How did you get to be so beautiful? Woman: I must have been given your share.

Man: Your face must turn a few heads. Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out. Woman: Okay, get out.

Man: I think I could make you very happy. Woman: Why? Are you leaving?

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me? Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

Man: Can I have your name? Woman: Why? Don't you already have one?

Man: want to see a movie? Woman: I've already seen one.

What a guy means, when he says some stuff- "You know how bad my memory is!” "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned…but I forgot your birthday."

“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.” "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt." “Take a breath honey. You work too hard. "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "It‘s a guy thing" "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." "Can I help with dinner?" "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to " "I have no idea how it works." "I cant find it." "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it. A simple friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight. A simple friend expects to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you.

Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"Good friends dont let you do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let you do stupid things ALONE

Bella: Your pale white and ice cold, i know what you are Edward: Say it... Out loud...SAY IT! Bella: Vanilla Ice-cream ...

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"

2) When the elevator doors shut, reassuringly say, "It's OK, they will open up again!"

3) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

5) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

6) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

7) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

8) Meow occasionally.

9) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

10) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

11) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

12) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

13) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

14) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

15) Say "Ding!" at each floor.

16) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

17) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

18) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

19) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

20) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

21)Sell Girl scout cookies

22) Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

23) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

24) Start a sing-along.

25) Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.

26) On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.

27) Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

28) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

29) As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

30) Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

31) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

32) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

33) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

34) Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

35) Swat at flies that don't exist.

36) Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

37) Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

38) Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

39) While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

40) Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

41) Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

42) Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

43) Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

44) Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

45) Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

46) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

47) Tell people that you can see their aura.

48) Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

I am the girl...that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, a nerd, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with magic, who can express herself better with words than without words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

Tips on being my friend:

Wake me up in the morning and I will kill you!

That's pretty much it...

FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa

BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and herself in the process

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and say nice to meet you

BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and scare the shit out of him by threatening to break every bone in his body if he hurts your bestfriend

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better

BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BESTFRIENDS:Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move

BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: Tell you that you look nice.

BESTFRIENDS: Say your outfit looks like throw up, and then help you find a new one 10 minutes before school starts.

FRIENDS: Say "good luck" when you go get your ears pierced.

BESTFRIENDS: Help pick out your studs, take before&after pictures of your earlobes, and then put up with the unending questions and mirror-staring.

FRIENDS: Roll their eyes when you start rambling yet again about your boyfriend (the fourth time that night).

BESTFRIENDS: Start gushing with you.

FRIENDS: Smile when you get obsessed with something.

BESTFRIENDS: Get obsessed with you.

FRIENDS: Say "see you later!"

BESTFRIENDS: Say "I LUUUUUHHHVVV you! DON'T LEAAVVEE!" and then tackle/hug you.

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Forgive you.

BESTFRIENDS: Hold a fake grudge against you until you let them borrow a hair band.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS:Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FRIENDS: Tell jokes with you.

BESTFRIENDS: Have countless inside jokes with you.

FRIENDS: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth.

BESTFRIENDS: Say the same thing, except then they laugh and say "I guess that counts for me too!"

FRIENDS: Annoy you.

BESTFRIENDS: Annoy you, but then make you laugh.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS:Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (don't ask you don't want to know)

BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS:Will repost this crap.

Everyone is intitled to being stupid, but you just abuse the prviledge.

I am really trying to imagine you with a personality. Oops, I can't.

Not the brightest crayon in the box, now, are we?

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Your a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal.

You just won't leave me alone, will you? You know, people like you are the reason why people like me need medication.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me beautiful, What happened to you?

If stupidity was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

HERE IS MY MOTO:Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that idiot upside the head

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS:Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again"

Everything that's sad but true:

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dorthy from Finding Nemo

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... I told that one to my Math teacher!!!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. But guns can't pull their own trigers

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

If two wrongs dont make a right, try three.

Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Everyone is sane in their own mind . . . just not in others.

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line. X

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN" 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso. 6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy". 7.Don't use any punctuation. 8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go" 10. Sing Along at the Opera 11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!" 14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!" 15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It's called therapy.

Ninety-six percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is downloading all of Twilight and New Moon off the books on C.D. from the libary, and listning to them over and over again. Crazy is when you dont say a thing about yourself in your fanfiction bio but insted yell random things that make you lafe. Crazy is when you start getting antisocial because you want to read instead of hanging out with your friends. Crazy is when you laugh about how Edward Cullen thinks Bella is DEAD in New Moon, even though it's a very serious matter, and your sister hears you and asks why you're laughing so loud and you tell her and she just cries about it because she thinks it's sad. Crazy is when you headbang to a slow song, or become odsessed with the song "Let it Die" by Three Days Grace because it reminds you of Edward Cullen for some odd reason. Crazy is naming your winter jacket Mr. Puffy and your best friend naming hers Mrs. Puffy and letting them marry for the winter. Then at the end of the winter, they both retire and divorce each other. Crazy is when you are taking a math test and go over on ur scrap sheet of paper to work out the problem, and start drawing spirals until the teacher goes five minutes left! Crazy is having a major arguement with your friend...and i mean major...its still going on and it has already been a year...about which one is better: pudding or jello. Crazy is when you start laughing until you butt falls off for no apparent reason and your mom comes in the room and goes like, "What the hell is going on?" Crazy is if you suddenly yell, 'PARTY IN MY TUMMY!' and everyone stares at you in Pre-Algebra class. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

95 percentage of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this EVERYWHERE if you are in the 5 that would shout "Jump assholes!" (same goes for Miley Cyrus)

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if well-aimed.

Paper may beat rock, but cannonball make big hole in paper.

One way to find out if something works: push all the bu

ttons.

One day your prince will come. Mine? He took a wrong turn, got lost, and was to stubborn to ask for directions.

I hear your silence loud and clear.

It's always the last place you look for it... of course it is! Why would you keep looking if you found it?

I'm not so good at advice; may I intrest you in a sarcastic reply?

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs.

If silence is golden, if talking silver?

Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people.

If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet?

Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person.

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

I'm not littering... just donating to the Earth.

It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.

I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

I'm Cammie from Gallagher girls!

Check out who you are: www.gotoquiz.com/which_gallagher_girl_are_you

I'm Alice from Twilight too! But I don't like shopping.

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable? (My normal body temp. is 97.6. But for some reason when u touch my fore head with your hand I feel fever hot

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in numbe

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

Even more stuff that made me think and laugh at the same time :D

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!

When life gives you lemons, spit the lemons in life's eyes.

Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.

Being mature is overrated.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I can resist anything but temptation.

One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious

If you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.! (i do try not to hurt their feelings though)

i speak fluent sarcasm.

are yhu stoned or just stupid.!

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I do not deny everything!

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Don't take life to serously, no one gets out alive anyway

Life's tough...Get a helmet

I can be Mrs. Cullen, you can be Mrs. Black you can die and I can live forever!

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends?

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do(MY FAVE!!!!)

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

My VAMPIRE can beat up your WEREWOLF!!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

If all of the Acne stuff doesn't work, why does Wile E. Coyote keep buying their products?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

More funny things i found :D These aren't mine by the way XD

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

15. The day you don't wash your hair is the day you meet a cute boy.

Even more stuff that made me think and laugh at the same time :D

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly. -Exodus 19:5

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all. And then some you don't want. -Daughtry

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you two are going to kill each other, at least do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you aren't coming to the store with me!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.

6. My mother taught IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "Your room looks like a tornado went through there!"

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it too!"

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children around the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home!"

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You're going to get it when we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way!"

18. My mother taught me about ESP. "Put your sweater on! Don't you think I know when you're cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When the lawnmower cuts off you toes, don't come crying to me!"

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS. "Shut that door! Do you think you were raised in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you're my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

It's funny how 'hello' is always accompanied with 'goodbye'. It's funny how good memories always make you cry. It's funny how forever never seems to really last. It's funny how'd much you'd lose if you forgot your past. It's funny how "friends" can just leave you when your down. It's funny how when you need someone they're never around. It's funny how people forgive, even when they can't forget. It's funny how one night, can contain so much regret. It's funny how ironic life turns out to be. But the funniest part of all? None of that's funny to me.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Perfection is a waste of time.

Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

I blame my attitude on videogames

There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit

Tired of living and scared of dying

Scared to remember, terrified to forget

I hear your silence loud and clear

Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

How can i miss you if you never left?

I'm not with stupid anymore!

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends (and boyfriend!)

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually. (cough, cough Edward cough, cough)

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person,"What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Lola, Heather, Chris, Delilah, Edward, Diana, Brandon, Ivan, Andrea.

Benefits of being a woman- Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.

She Said: You wear pants don't you?

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!

There's always a Light even on the darkest of Nights...

Unless you're me, because I bring the Night and destroy the Light.~Aidan.

I'm Cute and everyone knows it.(My sayings and personality):

I'm Awesome, my friends just don't want to admit it.~Moi

Me crazy?!Nev-Oooh lets jump off that cliff!~Moi

Faster!Faster!You'll never lose me at that rate!~Moi

OMG A TALKING GHOST NAMED FRED WHO THINKS I'M THE PHSYCOPATH THAT KILLED HIM!~Moi

Random guy:DEMON!DEMON!HELP ME LORD A DEMON IS UPON ME!

SnAp:Huh?Oh thats just Aidan.

I'm not THAT bad...HEY!YEAH YOU, AM I INTIMIDATING?!

I'm bored...Amuse me.

Psh I can make anybody look like a complete idiot, including myself!

I'll do the puppy dog eyes aproach first and if that doesn't work then I'll bring a shovel just in case!

What the hell are you looking at, haven't you ever seen a girl skip?!

Huh...I wonder if Vodka in Kool-aid tastes as good as it sounds...

Do you want to die?

Mom:"Looks at new skirt"Thats not a skirt thats a belt.

Me: Hey you should know not to let me get bored!

Me:Hey mom I'm going to get leather pants!

Mom:Why would you want those?

Me:I don't know I got bored!You know what happens when I'm bored(Rolls Eyes).

Me:Mom!I'm going to go jump in the river!

Mom:You are, why?

Me:Why do I do anything?

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

Ninety-six percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile.

95 percentage of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this EVERYWHERE if you are in the 5 that would shout "Jump a*holes!" (same goes for Miley Cyrus) (I'm that 5 percent!!! Justin B. too!!! I'm a 'hater' or at least thats what everyone calls me!)

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

97 of all teens would go into panic if they saw Robert Pattinson on a 100 foot building about to jump. copy and paste this if you are one of the 3 who brought popcorn and invited friends while yelling "DO A FLIP!!" (we people need our entertainment)

Never read taken by Edward Bloor! My word of wisdom for to day!

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him. You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, go tell him now, because later, you might not get the chance

248 ways to annoy people

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go." 2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub." 4.Name your dog "Dog." 5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think." 7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. 9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date. 13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks. 14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon. 16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies. 18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 20. Repeat everything someone says as a question. 21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps. 22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories. 23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now." 24. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 26. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read. 28. Ask people what gender they are. 29. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray. 30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. 31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 32. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 33. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 34. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 35. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 36. Wear a lot of cologne. 37. Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 38. Sing along at the opera. 39. Mow your lawn with scissors. 40. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!" 41. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 42. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 43. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 45. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 46. Make appointments for the 31st of September. 47. Invite lots of people to other people's parties. 48. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. 49. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 50. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 51. Practice making fax and modem noises. 52. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss. 53. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy." 54. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 55. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 56. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 57. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 58. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 59. Honk and wave to strangers. 60. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE. 61. type only in lowercase. 62. dont use any punctuation either 63. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 64. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 65. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over.. 66. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone. 67. Drum on every available surface. 68. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 69. Set alarms for random times. 70. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.." 71. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off. 72. Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted. 73. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange. 74. Wear your pants backwards. 75. Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!" 76. Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music." 77. Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode. 78. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 79. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 80. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 81. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 82. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 83. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 84. When Christmas caroling, song "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 85. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 86. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. 87. Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along. 88. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 89. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it. 90. Drive half a block. 91. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 92. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl. 93. "Forget" the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 94. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes." 95. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 96. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 97. Ask to "interface" with someone. 98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket." 99. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 100. Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims. 101. Never make eye contact. 102. Never break eye contact. 103. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results. 104. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice. 105. Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice. 106. Say "okay, you're gay" to anything someone says. 107. As people talk, smell their shoulders. 108. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention." 109. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?" 110. Place your shoes on the table. 111. When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right. 112. When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off." 113. Switch your neighbor's lawn furniture with someone else's. 114. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today. 115. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips. 116. Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one. 117. Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off. 118. Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President. 119. Speak in a strong Welsh accent. 120. Wear odd shoes. 121. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly. 122. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says. 123. Throw stones at people walking past your house. 124. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds. 125. Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles. 126. Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke. 127. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening. 128. Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2-D2. 129. Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter hostage. 130. Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too. 131. Pretend you have gone completely deaf. 132. .sdrawkcab etirW 133. Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food. 134. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it. 135. Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants. 136. Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbors ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up! 137. Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say. 138. Drive on the wrong side of the road. 139. Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural." 140. Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme. 141. Claim that until recently, you thought Michael Jackson was a woman. 142. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot. 143. Go to a Metallica concert wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt. 144. Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin. 145. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away. 146. Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90. 147. Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly. 148. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R. 149. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the." 150. Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started. 151. Ride a unicycle to work. 152. E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows XP that aren't actually there. 153. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat. 154. Continuously mumble during a conversation. 155. Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house, or better yet, someone else's house. 156. When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly. 157. Insist on "Weird Al" sing-a-longs. 158. On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns. 159. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk. 160. Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling. 161. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant. 162. When walking, talk to yourself constantly. 163. Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking. 164. Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing." 165. Go to a gumball machine insert coins until you have a matching pair of fake eyeballs. After attaining these, record the theme song of The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the street wearing the eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When you get pulled over, leap into the passenger's seat and claim, "He was here a minute ago, officer!" 166. On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Have each of you stand a mile apart on a highway. 167. After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles. 168. Push a raisin into someone's cream-filled donut. (I don't get this one.) 169. Spread fertilizer on half your neighbor's lawn. 170. Add A535 (liquid heat) to that little hole down the center of someone's anti-perspirant. 171. 172. 173. Add blank entries to lists, to make it look like it's longer. 174. Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonald's. 175. Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn. 176. Throw newspapers back at paperboys. 177. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants. 178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look. 179. At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you." 180. Put electrical tape over the headlights of someone's car. 181. Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family. 182. Dress like a "High-class rich person" and wash windows at random street corners. Demand a dollar in a British accent. 183. When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining. 184. In an office, lock all the doors behind you. 185. Face the back when standing in an elevator. 186. Grin so wide it hurts your cheeks at every salesperson in town. 187. When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line.) 188. Unbend all the paperclips you can find, then replace every eraser you can find with a rubber band. 189. Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!") 190. Sharpen All your pencils to the same size EXACTLY. 191. Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!". 192. Pose as a client at a bank or other professional institution, and when you are seated in front of their desk, keep rearranging the items on top into different patterns and tell them you are "just reorganizing things." 193. Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall! 194. Call every girl you know "dude". 195. Recite every song from the Playstation games PaRappa the Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy. 196. Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is "Just better quality" 197. Press the "power" button on on someone's computer or keyboard when they're almost finished typing up a long essay, story etc. Apologize sincerely, claiming that you thought it was the focus adjustment. 198. Call 911 and breathe heavily. 199. Take a shower. Feel guilty. Give it back. 200. Mow your carpet. (Or preferably somebody else's) 201. Vacuum your lawn. (See note on 200) 202. Recite shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet. 203. Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper. 204. Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice. 205. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?" 206. When in an elevator, in different voices, shout out random floors, and then watch as you get there, no one gets off. 207. Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, "Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?" 208. While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears). 209. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation. 210. Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly. 211. Finish each sentence with "Monkey See, Monkey Do". 212. Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school. 213. Pretend you are invisible. 214. Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language. 215. Spend all day at a fast food restaurant and see how long it takes before you have to pay for your "free" refills. 216. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?" 217. While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!" for no apparent reason. 218. Call everyone a communist. 219. Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise. 220.. Call your neighbors collect. 221. Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?" 222. Page yourself over an intercom, but don't disguise your voice. 223. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle. 224. When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises. 225. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?" 226. Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking. 227. Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!" 228. While driving if you see a "How am I driving" bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job. 229. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you. 230. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you. 231. Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know." 232. Sending this list to all of your friends through email. 233. Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over. 234. Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly. 235. Begin every sentence with, "By the Gods!" 236. When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!". 237. When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial. 238. At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!" 239. Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren't interested in buying shoes and leave. 240. Put powdered sugar in your hair, sit down next to a stranger, and scratch your head a lot. 241. Turn on the Talk Radio Stations in your car, roll down your windows, and headbang. 242. Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father." 243. Scotch tape your door as an Anti-theft Device. 244. Super Glue quarters to floors. 245. Put the wrong date and year on the papers you hand in to your teachers. 246. Call random numbers and say "Hi, this is Julie from Basken Robins. If you can name 31 flavors in 31 seconds you get a free scoop." 247. WRIGHT N AL CAPITOL LETERS AND MISSSSSPEL EVRYTHIND!! 248. Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on them in front of other people. 249. Make a loud and abrupt noise when nobody is looking, then face the other direction when everybody looks your way, pretending the sound came from behind you. (Thanks Alex) 250. Llend a book to someone, but staple the middle together. 251. Llend someone a book, but rip out the climax. 252. When making a list use the same number twice. 253. Spel easy wordds rong. 253. Pronunce people's names wrong everytime you meet them. 254. Laugh at everything they say. 255. Never laugh at what they say. 256. When talking to someone, tilt your head to the side. 257. Snicker at what someone said and say "I got the movie reference".

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer? There's no blood in my alcohol" 2. When they ask why you were speeding, tell them you wanted to race. 3. When they talk to you, pretend you are deaf. 4. If they ask if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to... 5. When they ask why you were speeding, tell them you had to buy a hat. 6. Ask them where they bought their cool hat. 7. Refer to them by their first name. 8. Pretend you are gay and ask them out. 9. When they say no, cry. 10. If they say yes, accuse them of sexual harassment. 11. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way. 12. If they ask you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood. 13. When they asks you to spread them, tell them you don't go that way. 14. When they put the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first" 15. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers. 16. After you sign the ticket and give it to them, say "Oops! That's the wrong name." 17. Bribe them with donuts, and when they agree, tell them sorry, I just ate the last one. 18. When they come up to the car say "License and registration please" right when they say it. 19. When they go to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!" 20. Trip and fall into them. 21. Accuse them of police brutality when they push you away. 22. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with their pen. 23. Chew on the pen, nervously. 24. Clean your ear with the pen. 25. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring. 26. Ask them if they ever worked in a prison. If they say yes, ask how the plumbing was. 27. Act like you are retarded. 28. When they're telling you what you did wrong, start repeating them, quietly. 29. Or mumble to yourself. 30. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE? 31. When they come to the car, say I have a badge just like yours! 32. Ask if they watch Cops. 33. Ask if they ever watched Cop Rock. 34. Giggle if they did. 35. Talk to your hand. 36. Ask if they know somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends. 37. Accuse them of Sexual Harassment if they do. 38. When they frisk you, say You missed a spot, and grin. 39. When they ask to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it. 40. Try to sell them your car. 41. Ask if you can buy their car. 42. If they take you to the station, ask to sit in front. 43. Play with the siren. 44. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner. 45. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. 46. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner. 47. Ask if they ever had pu-tang. 48. If they ask what it is, point at them and giggle. 49. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in languages. 50. When they act confused, keep talking, look at them and laugh. 51. When you are in the back, touch their neck through the fencing. 52. Turn your head and whistle. 53. When they pull out their night stick, say what you gonna do with that. 54. If you are of the opposite sex, say I don't do that on the first date. 55. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, su*ck your thumb, and whine. 56. Ask if you can see their gun. 57. When they say you aren't allowed, tell them "I just wanted to see if mine was bigger." 58. Stare at their lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!" 59. Tell them you like men/women in uniform. 60. Ask if you can borrow their uniform for a Halloween party

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... Highlight ones that are you You talk to yourself a lot. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?') After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Big Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (I didn't fail it but let's just say I was banned from my computer for a month) (copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions) I'm an AUTHOR!!!!

List Of Stereotypes Highlight ones that aplly to you I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. No . .. It's just God meant for girls and guys to be together not guys and guys or girls and girls I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. dont have a boyfriend... I'll keep u posted if I do)

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. NEVER!!!!!!! gross...

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I don't need attention I'm good with a few best friends and that's all I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all. no boyfriend I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. Not sure what that is . . . So I'm NOT! I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I don't want a boyfriend! I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I do not hate them

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. Sad but true . .. I like it! I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. :D I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak do you wanna bet? I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.(Weeeelll, maybe a few guys ;) I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser if people think that, I'm sorry but your stupid I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. :D I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. always! :D I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. i only don't have a boyfriend cause the two boy in my class that are cute are not my type. One, he's ok but can be mean some times. The other one is just a little bit dim I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED "Labels ARE for CANS, labels ARE NOT for PEOPLE!"

"I'm the kind of girl who would pay her credit card bill with her credit card."

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. Random doesn't even begin to describe it...

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. well, i've done like all of these and more, so i guess im caarraaazzzyy!

If you break out in random laughing fits for no apparent reason that last for minutes or even hours on end, copy this into your profile. guilty

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. i can think of a few...

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this onto your profile. we are animals too! how would u wanna be skinned for human enjoyment? hmm?

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile and add your name: Snowfirexoxo, FlameRisingSucks101, Sparrowflight, Miss Ter, Ostentatious.spontanious.ME

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile cough miss ter cough

if you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

You know you live in 2010 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a email or facebook.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile. -Well, duh!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, Vampiregal22,Edward-Lover1, SPOONS Secret Agent Alice, Golden Eyed Vampire, Mrs_Cullen-Swan, EdwardsAllMiNe, Iluvedward4ever, Ostentatious.spontanious.ME, Spazthe1st

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list:

iluvedward4ever, Ostentatious.spontanious.ME

If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile. - Ohh yea!

If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile. - Team Edward: Cause Jacob doesn't sparkle :-)

If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile. -I luuuuv Alice

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. (SpazzyAlex!!! & Some one else but she changed her pen name)

If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever been obsessed with something so much people are now fearing what effect it may cause on you, copy and paste this to your profileIf you think I have too many "copy and pastes" in my profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think I have at least one more "copy and paste" thingy in my profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you were right, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you were wrong, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like chocloate as much as I do copy this in your profile

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on your nerves" song copy this into your profile! -well, it does get on peoples nerves...

If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile. - cough miss ter cough-

Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this psas it on !!

If you enjoy reading the and copying the "copy and pastes" from other people's profiles to your own, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you don't use Facebook and are proud enough to make it public, copy and paste this into your profile. ME!

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile. -countless memories!

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile.

If you are the complete opposite of normal, copy this into your profile.- booyah!

If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile. -Matches.

"My friends used to be normal... until they met me that is!" poor my friends

"I couldn't fix your brakes so I made your horn louder."

"Nothing says oops like a wall of flame." Ummmmm... wasn't me!

"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think." so so true... lol

"Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die." Good point...

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." I usually do the second one...

"Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?" I don't know, why don't u tell me?

"Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak"(me :-) lol)

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile. OOOOOO me!

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

15 THINGS TO DO AT WALL-MART:

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what she writes fiction. Oh so true . . .

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

I got lost somewhere, and I think I want to stay there.

You can't curse in a Disney film, mate. True! It was so weird watching them!

Yes, I am secretly planning to smuggle 3 trillion aliens into earth in a desperate, final attempt to destroy all who ever disobeyed me.

"I'm gonna go touch the butt!" --Finding Nemo

there was a little girl who said her prayers every night. one night, her dad walked in on her and heard her saying, "i love you daddy, i love you mommy, i love you timmy, i love you becky, i love you grandma, goodby grandpa."

the next day the girl's grandfather died.

needless to say, the girl's father was freaked out, but he figured it was just an unlieky coincidence. the next night, he heard his daughter's prayers again: "i love you daddy, i love you mommy, i love you timmy, i love you becky, goodbye grandma."

the next day the girl's grandmother died.

at this point, the father was really scared. but he was even more freaked out when he heard his daughter's prayers that night..."i love you mommy, i love you timmy, i love you becky, goodbye daddy."

now he was really scared. he went about his daily business, but couldn't stop thinking tha the was supposed to die. when he got home that night, he said to his wife "i just had the worst day ever"

she said "you think YOU had a bad day? the mailoman dropped dead on our porch!"

if you don't get it, PM me

friends...are the ones bailing you out of jail best friends...are the ones in there with you saying "let's do that again!"

friends...help you up when you fall best friends...laugh and trip you again

friends...convince you not to go on American idol because "it's not your thing" best friends...convince you to go and then laugh their heads off when you look like an idiot on national TV

friends...help you find your clothes when someone steals them while you're changing in gym best friends...are the ones who took them in the first place

friends...will share their umbrella with you in the rain best friends...will snatch yours, break it, and run off

friends: will comfort you when he rejects you.

best friends: will go up and ask him, "it's because you're gay, isn't it?"

friends: will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

best friends: will call him up and whisper, "seven days..."

friends: helps you find your prince.

best friends: kidnaps him and brings him to you.

friends: will help you move.

best friends: will help you move the bodies.

friends: never ask for anything to eat or drink.

best friends: helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

friends: would bail you out of jail.

best friends: would be sitting next to you sayin "damn!" we messed up!"

friends: have never seen you cry.

best friends: wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

friends: asks you to write down your number.

best friends: has you on speed dial.

friends: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

best friends: loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad...here's a tissue."

friends: only know a few things about you.

best friends: could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

friends: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

best friends: will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

friends: would knock on your front door.

best friends: walk right in and say "i'm home."

friends: you have to tell them not to tell anyone.

best friends: already know not to tell.

friends: are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

best friends: are for life.

friends: will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

best friends: will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "girl drink the rest of that ! you know we don't waste!"

friends: would read and ignore this.

best friends: will repost this shit!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life. Boy: My life

-The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...-

"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life."

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

a girl and a boy were riding a motorcycle. the boy had a helmet but the girl did not

GIRL: slow down, we're going too fast

BOY: no, this is fun

GIRL: please, slow down

BOY: tell me you love me

GIRL: i love you!

BOY: give me a big hug!

GIRL: okay -hugs him-

BOY: good. now can you take off my helemt? its starting to bother me

GIRL: sure! -does it- now please, slow down!

the next day there was an article in the newspaper: a motorcycle with broken brakes was carrying two teens and slammed into a brick wall. one of the teens lived, the other did not.

halfway through the ride the boy realized that the brakes were broken but didn't want to scare the girl, so he made her say he loved her once more, hug him once more, and then take his helmet so she could live.

i don't think i told that right...but copy and paste if you wish someone would do that for you

Q. HOw do a blonde's braincells die?

A. ALone.

Q. HOw do you drown a blonde?

A> You tie a mirror to the bottom of a pool.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A: "Have another beer."

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer? A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N...ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll? A: About 2 cans of hair spray

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him 5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her 50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him 5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde 50.00

The blonde put the 50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him 5.

lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself post this in your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! XD

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If Orlando Bloom said to stop breathing, 99 percent of girls currently on the face of the Earth would be dead right now. Put this on your profile if you'd be the 1 percent still alive and laughing.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think Jacob should just stay a friend and have a happy ending copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a wall, copy and paste this in yout profile

If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you're Defying Gravity, and no one can pull you down, copy this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with fan-fiction copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan-fictions, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you are insane and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension. Copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then copy and paste this into your profile

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy reading a book copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you want to be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you tthink those stupid kids shoud just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Cocoa puffs Turkey Bird thing should go the rehab, copy this onto your profile.

If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or The O.C. or the Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. (I don't watch them.)

If you think Rock, Paper, Scissors solves everything, put this in ur profile.

If you've ever been called weird because you typed OMC instead of OMG copy and paste this into your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are now more scared of dentists than ever by learning this fact, put this on your profile. (I'm not; my mom IS a dentist. Not my dentist, tho)

I like pasta. Tigers are pretty. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever held a ceremony for an inanimate object, or particapated in one, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have two or more of the same thing copied and pasted into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped when there was a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires, and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you've ever tripped over your own toe, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apperent reason, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever lost your sunglasses, then found then on your head, copy this to your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had an argument with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever lost a bet to yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you know what a lemon fly is (for those who don’t, it is a mythical lemon with wings. ha! now you know!!)

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you, copy this to your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copying this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

ifyouhaveeverranyourwordstogethertryingtotslkreallyfastliketheCullen's copy &paste this into your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile!!

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do and then cried because Edward wasn't there to catch you, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you listen to Debussy just because Edward Cullen does, copy this and put into your profile

If you love to make radom stories about the Cullen Family and Bella,copy this and put it into your profile

When somebody asks you " Is that good?" and you say "Well its no itterable grizzly" copy this and put into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman kind...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Edward hears voices...and they don't like you

If life gives you lemons, throw them at some one!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile.If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Cullen, copy this into your profile.

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you truely believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

Sexy feet. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever heard of National Talk like a Pirate Day copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Bookworm-Booklover, Jasper's Fangirl, Kyo Rox My Sox, PrincessSpaz, Spazthe1st

CORN MUFFINS!. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others..

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the frick'n trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get/never read Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a boy, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a girl, you'd consider naming her Isabella, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

if you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile (Go Eddy!)

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile.

OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

And God (CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was goooooooooooood. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man. If you won't either, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have the exact same thing written in your profile more than once, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have the exact same thing written in your profile more than once, copy and paste this into your profile.

I despise Jacob Black and the werewolves, and yet, I am unconditionally, and irrevocably in love with Taylor Lautner

Eh. What are ya gunna do?

I stopped caring a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago what Jacob lovers think of me. Or anyone for that matter. So don't bother trying to change my mind about my views on Jacob Black, you're only wasting your time.

Oh so true! I took this off someone elses page but it was sooo me! You know what? Everyone I know in real life is Team Jacob but everyone on fanfiction is Tem Edward like me! Except I like Emmett and Jasper better. I'd say I like Em better because the person who plays Jasper in the movies looks creepy. Taylor L is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Whose cruel idea was it to put "S" in the word "Lisp"?

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. I am scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact.

I noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy

Therapist = the/rapist... scary thought.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Set sail in a general that way direction.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there ... I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

92% Of The Teen Population Would Be Dead If Abercrombie and Fitch decided breathing wasn't Cool. Put This On you profile if you would be one of the 8% Laughing Hysterically in the background!! :) Hahahaha that is soooo true!

Great Minds Can Read this!! I can, can YOU??

This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

Someone will always be there for you.

Someone will always be after you.

Someone will always be ready to kill for you.

Someone will always be ready to kill you.

Knowledge is power.

Power corrupts.

Study hard. Be evil.

Month One

Mommy

I am only eight inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Everytime I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heartbeat

is my favorite lullaby.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

You could definetly tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It's so warm and nice in here.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Three

You know what Mommy?

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though

you cant hear me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Four

Mommy

My hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can curl my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs

I am becoming quite good at it too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, whats abortion?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I dont like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy, what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I cant get away from it!

Mommy! HELP ME!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Seven

Mommy

I am OK.

I am in Jesus' arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Mommy, why didnt you want me?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Every abortion is just...

One more heart that was stopped

Two more eyes that will never see

Two more hands that will never touch

Two more legs that will never run

One more mouth that will never speak.

Abortion is wrong. People are here on earth for a reason, and some crazy mothers dont want their babies. Even inside the womb babies ae babies, if you ever consiter abortion ask your docter to see a picture of your baby.

If you are against abortion copy and paste

My list of the 25 things to do to Edward Cullen:

1. When he tries to read my mind, think of a disturbing image

2. Poke him . . . alot.

3. Say "You will die in 7 days!"

4. Start barking at him.

5. Show him all my besties.

6. Say, "Hey. Hey, hey, Edward?" He'll go, "What?" Start again, "Hey, hey, hey, hey Edward!" He'll say "WHAT?" Go "FIRE!" And he'll scream, trust me.

7. Tell him "I fight fire with fire, but the vampires just burn faster."

8. Put him on the computer to play the Moron Test.

9. Get together with Emmett and Jasper and make up a new list.

10. Kidnap Bella.

11. Show him a copy of Twilight.

12. Then read him New Moon.

13. Watch Eclipse.

14. Obsess over Breaking Dawn.

15. Wear a Team Jacob shirt.

16. Put on a Team Jasper pin.

17. Wear a Team Alice hat.

18. Wear a Team Emmett bracelet.

19. When he ask why you don't wear a Team Edward shirt, say "WHO?

20. Call him and ask for the Volturi.

21. Steal his Volvo only to drive it off a dock.

22. Go to the New Moon movie and ask him why Robert Pattenson doesn't brush his hair.

23. Act stupid.

24. State the obvious.

25. Sing badly, and loudly.

REMEMBER WHEN . . . .

getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?

the worst thing you could get from a boy was cooties?

Dad (was your hero)?

pi was a tasty cherry treat?

SHUT-UP and STUPID were bad words?

the worst time of day was getting a BATH?

school wuz FUN?

when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings

and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?

when - WAR- was a card game

and life was simple and care free?

remember when all you wanted to

WAS GROW UP?

Here's to the good old days when life was simple and we were all still so young and innocent without a care in the world

~3 MEN JOKE!~

there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...

the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...

he gets big muscles and swims across...

but almost dies 5 times...

the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...

he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...

but he almost dies 3 times...

the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...

he turns into a woman...

walks 4 yards...

and crosses the bridge HAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

A fork is made of gold, will it still be called silverware?

I'm afraid one day I'll meet God, HE'LL SNEEZE, and I won't know what to say

They didn't know, that we know, they know, we know!

i am not stupid i'm spechless.

JUDGE ME and i'll prove you wrong.

When you feel like giving up remember why you held on for so long in the first place.

People who dont know me think i am QUIET people who do wish i was... hehe

OMG the rain's wet!

To be OLD AND WISE you first have to be YOUNG AND STUPID!

A word to the WISE ain't necessary... its the stupid that need the advice

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to "Woman Hitler"?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

Love your enemies! It really pisses them off.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke.

Smile. It confuses people.

Americans worship money. I have been looking for God all my life and he is right in my pocket.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

A day without sunshine is like...night.

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I?

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED. Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I've been to the dark side, they lied about the cookies!

who ever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.

life isn't about wating for the STORM to pass its about learning to dance in the rain.

Be the kind of women that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "aw crap, shes up."

Dear Heart, I met a boy today. Prepare to shatter.

Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork.

Of all the things I've lost... I miss my mind the most.

Of course I'm talking to myself; Who else can I trust?

Don't follow me I'm lost too.

At least I don't CARE what those mindless people think of me.

It's always in the last place you look...of course it is! WHY would I keep looking AFTER I found it?

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

Haha. I don't get it.

A good friend will come bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in the next cell saying,"Let's do it again!!"

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

If at first you don't suceed then sky diving isn't for you.

Those who throw objects at the crocodiles will be asked to retrive them.

Set sail in a general...THAT WAY direction.

Music is my boyfriend.

Definition of Your Mom: How to anwser a question when your bored.

Poke me. I dare you.

This is Alyssa. Alyssa likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Alyssa. (You have to know me to understand)

Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that.

Bow. Chicka. Waa. Waa.

You cry. I cry. You laugh. I laugh. You jump off a cliff. I laugh even harder.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate.

Danger: The person beside you is stupid.

It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

This world is full of crazy people.THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER!!

Defenition of homework-crude form of mind control still practiced in some priminal areas of the world

One day your prince will come.Mine?Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions.

WARNING:Do NOT follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.

I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me, and hell was afraid I'd take over.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?

Whenever you feel pissed off at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Did you know...Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keybord can crush your crummy pen!

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the anwser and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

How are the force and duct-tape the same?- Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!

The sun has set the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!!

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away.

Who was the first person to look a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt"?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

"Most people learn by observation, and there are a few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." - Anonymous

If technically after midnight it's morning, then why do we call it the middle of the night? Shouldn't we call it something like early morning?

"Come to the dark side, we have edward cullen!"

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Cullen: Luckier That You since 1987

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

sarcasm; my anti drug.

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird! let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

i speak fluent sarcasm.

yea im one of those crazy overly obsessive teenage girls.

forget a prince with a horse, i want a vampire with a volvo.

bob tried to take my twilight books. bob isnt with us anymore.

i am a twilightaholic. (look it up)

Regular lions say ROAARR.

Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU

Sad lions say roooaaar.

Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!

Boys are like slinkeys... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs (except Edward Cullen of course!!)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, post this. (OH SO TRUE)

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN THEN COPY AND PASTE INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!! (I DON"T LIKE TO SCREAM)

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten. When very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

You know you live in 2010 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace/Facebook. 4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV. 6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer. 7. As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling. 9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this. 10. You were too busy to notice number five. 11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five. 12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity. 13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did. (Yup, every SINGLE time!)

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When life hands you lemons, throw 'em back and demand Edward Cullen

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was. (he he. It's true)

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

If you try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them, copy and paste to your profile.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

Don't Like My "Twilight" Obbsession? Bite Me.

And finally... who thinks that this is one of the longest profiles that they've ever had the pleasure of scrolling past? XD

Or reading. And if you've read it, then congratulations- I have just wasted about half an hour of your life. Seriously. Look at the clock. I know. Time flies, doesn't it?

Thanks you Stephaniiie for the last 2 lines. Really, though, look at the clock.

My Copy and Paste Stuff:

Proof of human stupidity

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well... duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (What else?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and I'm taking this because??...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as " to be used for intended use only" basically what it means is don't use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Omigod!)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere? And if so... do I really want to know?)

╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed ║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen ║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your ╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too

My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

18. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.

"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

THE HUNGER GAMES PLEDGE:

I promise to remember Rue When mockingbirds’ songs wake me

I’ll think of Foxface every time I eat a strange new berry

If a little girl ever pets a goat I promise to think of Prim

And if my best friend acts depressed Then Gale; I’ll think of him

When I toss some wood in the fire I’ll think of Katniss every time

And I’ll always think of Peeta When I eat cake that is sublime

The Capitol will cross my mind When someone is unfair

I’ll be sure to think of Clove Each time I pretend to care

I’ll always think of Glimmer If someone’s pretty, but a dunce

And Thresh will occupy my mind If I spare someone, something... Once

Whenever I watch a reality show I will think of the Hunger Games

I’ll sure imagine Haymitch If someone calls me names

I swear to think of Cato When I’m homicidally inclined

I’ll make sure I think of Effie When there’s nothing on my mind

I swear to remember the Hunger Games And Catching Fire too It’s important to think of the characters But they’re NOT mine (So, Collins, don’t sue!)

THE PERCY JACKSON PLEDGE:

I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''

I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car.

Yes I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go. I've read this a bizzilion times and I just realized it was ryming...

Justin Bieber falls off a building. 90% of the girls are crying. 9% are watching while eating popcorn. 1% are pushing Justin off the building. If you are part of that 9 or 1%, copy and paste this into your profile. Oh, this is gonna be fun...

You Know You're a Book Addict If (Bold those that apply):

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it.

You accidentally call everyone by the characters' names.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time. You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (Like chop monsters head's off with Riptide...)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.

You've got a book memorized. (Not word by word but I know EVERYTHING that happens in my books)

You've read a book more than five times. (Cough GALLAGHER GIRLS Cough)

You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (I read an 800 page book in about 3 hours...I love my books)

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (Unfortuantly it never got done... But it will be if Rick Riordan kills Percy or Annabeth in this next series)

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.(well not quite murder, I was thinking more along the lines of a life swap...)

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional

You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock.

You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still (unfortunately) human.

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Your idol is a character from a book.