The Prickly Pear
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since: 06-17-11, id: 781713, Profile Updated: 08-05-11
Author has written 3 stories for General, and Humor.

Have you ever had one of those days where all you want to do is sit around watching the people go by and laugh quietly to yourself? Yeah, that's pretty much my life. I'm the kind of person who has no problem being left alone and finds the most joy in studying the rest of humanity, for better or worse... And let me just say, we are one weird-ass species... But all of this is beside the point, you are here (probably) because, well, I'm not actually sure why you're here... o.0 No matter though, stick around! I do enjoy rambling to people even if I can't see the confused looks on their little faces!

Alright, getting back on track here. My name is Prickly, or Prickles if you'd like, and I have been writing for as long as I can remember. (I'm not even kidding, that's the sad part, I just found an old story I wrote when I was two... It took me the better part of three hours to figure out what I was on about but still...) However, despite all this practice I've found it very hard to come by good constructive criticism or anything that will help me improve and what good help I have managed to corral now knows me so well that it's hard to be objective, particularly when it comes to my characters. So, with that in mind, I have decided to give this site a try!

Now, I don't review much myself, (I'm dyslectic and find reading off computer screens more difficult than it should be) but still, I will review anything you ask me to and be honest about it! All that being said I'm here for the reviews, for the comments which can help me improve, harsh as they may be. If you ever come across something you dislike in my writing then tell me, my only condition being that you at least explain WHY you dislike it so I can learn. So, that's all folks! If you're still reading at the end of this, I commend you! I will leave you with some of my favourite things because that seems to be what people do around here... Yes I stalked other profiles to find out the norms, it's not creepy, it's just thorough, honestly... XP


A few of my favourite quotes...

- You know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed. ~ Zoe (from the movie Serenity)

- I'll kill a man in a fair fight. Or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there's a woman. Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly when I'm gettin' paid. ~ Jayne (also from the movie Serenity)

- Also? I can kill you with my brain. ~ River (from the television show Firefly)

- Hey, I've been in a firefight before! Well, I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity. ~ Wash (another Firefly quote)

- I swear by my pretty floral bonnet: I will end you. ~ Mal (more Firefly! If you haven’t watched the show you should, just putting that out there...)

- What do you mean you’re not home? Come on somebody pick up! This is just ridiculous, ridiculous I say. Good lord. What day is it? Where is everybody? Where are mom and dad? Fine, well if that’s all you have to say then Cheek and I will walk to the land fill without you. Well fine. Bye-ho for now... ~ My Aunt (left on my answering machine)

- “If anyone drops, steps on, tramples, crushes, loses or stabs an infant, I will be mad!” ~ RP Character

- “What? I’ve never built a sandcastle before, I’m allowed to be excited now f*ck off!” ~ RP Character

- God stole my idea... ~ A friend of mine

- Who’s-her-pickle ~ My co-worker

- I can only hope that Michael Jackson is my asexual soul mate... ~ Me

- So let me get this straight, if I got Facebook you would send me a virtual panda because we’re friends...? ~ Me

- The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. ~ Robert Bloch

- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? ‘Hold me purse.’

- Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ~ Douglas Adams

- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

- Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together. ~ Oprah Winfrey


Favourite Sports (top 4)

1) NHL Hockey

2) Racing (Go-Kart racing, F1, IZOD IndyCar, V8 Supercars, all dirt racing, and occasionally NASCAR)

3) Curling

4) CFL Football


Random facts about me

-I’m a sports nerd and damn proud of it!

-According to, well, everyone if I were an animal I’d be a Honey Badger.

-My rat is my alarm clock.

-I love height and can spend hours up a tree or on the roof.

-I can see better in the dark than when it’s light out.

-The saying “you’re an accident waiting to happen” doesn’t apply to me. I’m an accident which has already happened... Several times...

-My favourite animals are goats (because honestly, what the hell is better than a goat!? XD )

-I can’t stand the heat, I’ll take the sun (though rain is still better) but the heat just sucks.

-When I was four I built my first car.


The best writing advice I’ve ever heard

-Make your villains charming and your heroes flawed.

-Never write a character until you can walk outside, look around at the different scenes around you and know exactly what your character would do in each one.

-Never call anything edited until you’ve read it out loud.

-Believe what you write and others will too.


And, well, now I’m done. I’d tell you my favourite movies and books only I don’t really read or watch movies so that kinda buggers up that plan... Anyhow, please read and enjoy my stories and don’t forget to tell me what you think!


1. Definition of a Hero reviews
"You know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed." A younger sister watches her hero die. Warning: Contains Capital Punishment.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,092 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-10-11 - Complete
2. A Harry What? reviews
One holding cell, one pedophile, three teenaged girls and one seriously messed up conversation. You have been warned. Enjoy!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,234 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-10-11 - Complete
3. Please Don't Leave Me
Young flesh mixed with old, moving, writhing. And voices mixing too, the screams of a girl with the growls of a man, like father and daughter. Or husband and wife. ***Songfic. Contains mentions of abuse and mental illness.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,698 - Published: 6-20-11 - Complete